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This is probably a very strange post. I have no clue about etiquette when it comes to who does what in terms of gift giving, and the groom (my son) is asking me for advice also. (The couple each live in different cities right now). All preparations are taking place long distance, I am not involved at all, I have been told to just show up (and write a check for the rehearsal dinner).
What are reasonable gifts to the groomsmen (I assume the bride will take care of the bridesmaids) and who else needs to get one? And when are they given?
This wedding is in South Carolina in what looks like a rather traditional family. Someone told me that I have to give a gift to the bride's mother. Is that true and what should it be, since I don't know the lady.
Since I am providing the rehearsal dinner (informal), am I also supposed to have a gift for all roughly 120 rehearsal dinner guests?
Obviously, this is all adding up, but I don't mind it. What I am having trouble with is not knowing what is traditionally expected and I don't have enough resources where I live to advise me. So I thought, Dave's Garden members have answered other questions of mine, so what better place to try???? I would greatly appreciate ideas and experiences.
That should give you a place from which to start. Of course,
you have to pick and choose according to your and your son's
tastes and pocketbook, but it will give you some ideas to
build on. And, congratulations to your son.
I'm sure it will be a lovely wedding. Just remember to not
stress yourself overly and enjoy being there with those you love.
Anita, thank you so much. Good sites. There are contradictions in the toastmaster sites on some things. Oh well, I'll figure it out. I read them quickly and did not see anything about a Mother of the Groom speech - Whew!! But I will do a small one anyway.
None of the sites mention"party favors" at all, and they do not mention a rehearsal dinner either. Our tastes tend to the fancy, but our pocketbooks are a bit strained. What is it, a champagne taste on a beer budget?
I wish I could follow your advice about not stressing - I just do. But when it is all over maybe then I'll take care of myself.
I don't know how different Southern weddings are from the northern & west coast weddings that I've been to, but I haven't typically seen party favor gifts at rehearsal dinners. The one thing that a friend of mine's parents (friend was the groom) did that I thought was nice was to leave little gift baskets at the hotel for the out of town guests--little things like snacks/treats, sunscreen, etc.
ecrane - our paths cross again. I am getting away from the idea of party favors for rehearsal dinner guests too, I don't see how I could come up with something for 120 guests (but some of them are families, of course).
This wedding is a bit discombobulated, bride and groom live in different cities, the wedding is in the bride's home town, and most people are coming from out of town, and even from the West Coast. I just don't have the mental and to some extent financial ability to come up with little gifts for everybody. I agree, ecrane, that what you describe from your friend's wedding, was a really nice touch.
I will report back how this whole thing ends up. In addition, now I am being asked to come up with the actual gift baskets for the wedding party - I know I can do that. Those basket will contain something like the following (patterned after another occasion that was suggested): nuts, chocolate, nice water, half bottle of wine, fancy soap?, some other smallish goodies.
i had coordinated several weddings and believe it or nor one was $100,000.00 budget. i keep an updated etiquette book and I had seen nor read anywhere where you give gifts to your guest at a rehearsal dinner. what I always advise is send invitations for the rehearsal dinner so it does not get out of control. sometimes the out of town guest are invited if your budget allows. As far as baskets for out of town guests it is nice and you do not have to spend a fortune. Buy baskets and make it yourself, water, crackers, cheese, clear plastic cups, napkins,bottle of wine if budget permits. the bride family can make some for her guests and you can make some for your guests. When is the wedding? Good luck. Belle
Well, the wedding is over. I ended up making "gifts" for the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Here is what I did: I got bags from the Dollar Store, put in two bottles of a fancy water (as instructed by son), a can of nuts, a fancy little box of chocolate candy (special - courtesy of friend at fancy goodies store), small package of fancy European cookies (contributed by visiting sister/aunt), a nice apple (as instructed) and a small bottle of hand sanitizer (LOL). I did not spend a lot at all. My son distributed his on the evening of the rehearsal dinner, the bride forgot hers until the next day.
We had about 120 people for the rehearsal dinner, and more than that for the wedding. Weather was great, a little warm, but not sweaty fortunately.
Thank you all for your advice. I am still recovering.
