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Yes we have all done it, and I admit to it as well!
There was a recent program on in England about the Naked Gardeners, which was quite amusing, to say the least. It is a good job they never had a cactus collection. I do however would draw the line at cutting the lawn in no attire, at all!
However when we were at the Chelsea flower show this year, a lady came out of the Champagne and smoked Salmon tent, a bit the worst for wear!
She collapsed in the shrubbery, and was quite happy snoring away, so I took a picture of her.
I do hope you like it.
There is nothing wrong with what nature gave you, for we love plants in their full glory, so what is wrong with the Human body?
Regards from London.
No her partner put the hat on her face before he collapsed into the shrubbery. Unfortunately he went for a toiletry trip beforehand, then collapsed, with his pants in an awkward place (down)!
So to preserve his dignity, I did not take a picture of him with his pants down and a bottle of Moet Chandon Champagne in his hand!
Nice way to go to sleep, or maybe not quite.
Lawsuit what lawsuit? He was firstly very drunk and improperly dressed, not that it bothered me as one certain part of his anatomy was like a tiny button mushroom. I know my camera has macro on it and a telescopic lens, but I do doubt, if even that on full power, would have captured the offending part!
I do not know what you call Solicitors or lawyers where you are, they are called a lot of things over here and I cannot put it on D.G.!
However I was making a japanese garden, I had designed for a big Law firm in London.
A big Bank collapsed in the 1990's and it was chaos there, so I was asked to give a document to someone, which I did.
I know the City very well, and all it's little alleys and twists. So I gave the Gentleman the said document and in true Army fashion made him sign for it, in triplicate. the lawyer was out when I returned (liquid lunch), and then claimed, i had not delivered it and I was sacked! Upon my way to the car park he came down very drunk and hit me!
So I flattened him over his black Porsche. Why take on a six foot two and a half ex Army, Rugby player and a gardener, when you are just a desk bound Lawyer?
To cut a long story story short he could not sack me, but did make my life Hell, as I had evidence I had done my job!
So I waited for my chance again. There is a saying here "The big wheel always turns, one minute you are at the top, the next minute you are on the ground."
So at the firms Christmas party, he suddenly went missing with a pretty secretary! So I followed them very discreetly. There they were in the buff on the Board room table, with the securities C.C.T.V. on them. I bet the security people loved that?
He never came back to the firm I wonder why? I finished my job and went on to others!
Regards Neil.
Gosh, Neil--- I am beginning to think England is wilder than I thought...Ha! Do people normally drink alcohol at the big flower shows? (That is a funny photo you took! I think someone should have placed a few flowers on her so she would have blended in with the flower show). The Christmas Party incident with the secretary sounds about normal for alot of workplaces; having cameras there...that Is something to laugh at!
Dear Petalpants, England is a nice place, if you know where to go. They do drink alcohol at the flower shows and most other events. It gets cold and wet here, and the wind chill is awful at sometimes of the year, so we warm ourselves up with a drink!
So if the sun does come out, we go gardening in our Birthday Suits, if it is cold, then it is sweaters and a waterproof jacket.
It is our National tradition to have a pint of ale; most men stop of in the pub from their way home from work, for a relaxing pint, unwind in front of a log fire, before having to face the ball & chain (wife), and the Rug Rats (children).
I do not like Christmas parties, the drunken atmosphere either ends up in a fight, or something I have mentioned before.
Then a lot of people regret it afterwards, especially if it is on camera!
Most of the firms have cameras, the only place you are not allowed to put them is in the Toilets, I do not would like to think what goes on in there!
I do believe there is another Commandment in the Bible, which states "Don't get Caught."
Petalpants I do not know what you have done to our weather, it is 110 f at the moment, the couple next door have just given me a nice cooling glass of wine. They are of course in their Birthday Suits; I have to water the greenhouse, do I strip off, or go out in my clothes and get very hot?
Wish me luck!
Regards Neil.
p.s. did you get my e-mails?
Ky, that's a good one! I think in England they 'add' their own Rules & Regulations--- 'as long as you don't get caught'! Ha!!
Neil, if you go around nude over here it's called 'indecent exposure'; I'm not really sure if they can fine you, if you are nude in your backyard?? Maybe Ky knows? Even our beaches have rules against nudity, although there are some Somewhere I think on private beaches. If you wanna go Skinny-dipping here in the surf, you go late at night, & drive waaaay down the beach where nobody is. I like the beach at night, cool & breezy, esp. with a full moon!
Hey, Neil, how come people over there don't just wear shorts or other 'cool' attire, instead of going around nude in their yard? What about children nearby? Here, we try to protect our kids from viewing people who are exposing themselves; I mean, there Are some weirdos out there... well, since it is the Next day, I didn't have to decide what you should wear to the greenhouse! (Thank goodness!)
Neil, I'll send you an email today, probably; our regular comp. keyboard, wireless, is not working,...so I'm using my husband's laptop which I'm not used to...Hey, I promise I did not send you that much Hot Air! I just wished you 'Sunny Days'; would you prefer a downpour of Rain? Or Fog (like in the old Vampire movies?) =)
Yep, Indecent Exposure. I tried nude sunbathing when we first moved out here in the middle of the woods, where I was sure nobody would see me...until I noticed a small aircraft circling overhead...true story! Ruined my tan!
It is called indecent exposure here, and is illegal, in a public place! On the street etc people do not do it, as you would be arrested instantly for that!
As your own garden is not a public place and has fences around it like most innere City garden do, it belongs to you do what you want!
Obviously you must know your neighbors, and it goes without saying if are there any children in the area who might be able to see into the gardens, you would not do it!
As for beaches we had England's first legal nudist beach opened years ago at Brighton. It is very popular in the summer, and as long as you do not stray out of the signed areas, then it is fine! There is more now but that was the first one!
There are some events when it is legal to go naked in public places like; the naked bike ride, which is a charity ride through Hyde park, and others in London.
Regards.
Neil.
Ha! Ky, ROFL! That sounds about right...you check out the area, think no one is around,...and, Surprise! An airplane!! Hope it was a small private plane, but if it was circling around it wouldn't have been a big Airliner. Do you think they got out their binoculars?! A similar thing happened to me on a hot afternoon while riding one of my horses, in the middle of a large, brushy pasture, alone. I thought, why not, it's so hot, no one around...and 10 minutes into my fabulous ride, an airplane flew overhead! It was a small plane, flying Low! Oh, well, that's the last time I did that, & I was only about 21; I told my husband about it, but Never my parents! (or my kids!) I did try sunbathing nude once in a corner of our side-yard by the cedar fence, but wouldn't you know it? Five minutes after I lie down, I keep hearing Knock, Knock, Knocking on my front door; can't see who it is, scramble to get dressed, get to the door as they were driving off...then the phone call from that person, "Are you sick?...because your van was there, but you never answered the door."...of course, I just said I was in the backyard...(Nosy people anyway!Ha!!)
Neil---Are you serious? A bike ride through a big park, nude?! Oh, my gosh! ...so is it mostly professional bikers or the general public that ride?...Well, at least it's for charity! Just sounds kinda risky if you happen to have a bike wreck & you end up with scrapes, not only on your knees & elbows, but also on your buns & other tender places. What do you think Ky? Think you would try that ride thru the park, because, it Is for a good cause!?... Neil, have You ever ridden in that bike ride?
LOL, not with this body--the charity would lose money. I wouldn't have the nerve, no. But I'll bet that event draws a lot of attention and makes a lot of money. The fundraiser who thought of that was a genious!
No I have never raced or ridden in it, as you have to pedal them! I like bikes with engines!
Hyde park is a Royal park and is massive, and luckily mostly on the flat, for you would not like to come down a steep hill and fall off!
It is for the public not professional riders, so they can raise as much as possible for whatever charities they are doing it for.
You can ride whatever bike you want as long as it is road legal i.e; must have a bell, lights, mudguards and a chain guard, brakes and a reflector. The lights are in case you want to keep going into the night, but it starts at lunchtime!
The idea is simple; you get sponsorship for each lap you do, as there are a lot of cycle tracks (safety tracks for cycles only), as we call them, you go around the long course they make out on them ,to see how many laps you can do!
They make an awful lot of money out fro charity every year, and apart from a few scratches there are are never any serious injuries, as the cycle tracks are very smooth (even on our roads), and next to grass in the parks!
Regards.
Neil.
Neil, that is Soooo lazy! Can't ride because the bike has pedals! ...of course you like engines, don't All men?! Both of my older teen boys want a motorcycle, and we keep saying NO! Around here, many people in big trucks & SUV's just don't watch out for motorcyclists; intersections are the worst, & many get hurt badly or killed. We had a good friend who was in a wreck on one, & it took a year for him to be able to go back to work! I don't like them because you have little protection...and yes, I have ridden on several, on the back with someone when I was young (and stupid!) Of course they're fun, I know...just so dangerous. It isn't usually the driver of the cycle who is at fault, but the one in the big vehicle that doesn't see the cyclist, at least around our city.
We have marathon races here, running, that is; some runs have become annual events & draw crowds from other states, like "Beach to Bay" run; most of the time they are for charities and such. We do have some bike-a-thons, but they have to mark off a section so people don't run them over; we just recently had bike-lanes installed on some streets so it is safer for bike-riders. I wouldn't ride a bicycle on a main street around here; too many people on their cell phones while driving, and now texting while driving! It's ridiculous!!
Over here they are not strict on most things but driving they are. If you are caught using a mobile, which you will be as all the Bus lanes have CCTV cameras on them that survey the road and take a flash of your number plate, if you have not paid your road tax, you get filmed. The cameras are mostly automatic but on the worst parts they are manned; so if you are seen using a mobile £100.00p fine and 3 points on your license, if you get caught twice the fine is up to the Judge and another 3 points, that makes six points. Insurance companies have got wise to people who do it and if you have six points they will not insure you.
So you may think people drive without insurance, well they do, but the insurance companies notify the Police and the people who register and tax the cars.
If you are caught without insurance, your license is taken away and your car is crushed, yes crushed!
So it does not matter if you have a brand new £ 1000,000. 00p sports car, no insurance, crushed car!
The cycles and the motorcycles are allowed to use the bus lanes here, and as there is always cameras on all of them any car stupid enough to go into a bus lane, big fine and three points on your licence, you are allowed nine points if you can get insured, the next one, instant ban!
If you cause an accident by using a mobile, prison, and banned!
Caught drunk driving, prison and banned!
Then you do not get your license back you must re-sit your whole driving tests all over again, and tell your insures if you can get one why you lost it in the first place, although they know anyway!
The cost is horrendous, as you are considered a dangerous driver!
We have an Advert on the T.V. over here which shows a stupid card river pulling out in front of a bike, he thinks he is safe.
That is until the rider goes over the top of the car and a huge bike engine goes into the drivers door, and he is trapped with a very hot lump of metal on him!
It is quite frightening and has taught car drivers they are not safe in their little tin boxes!
We have the world famous London Marathon every year, thousands run in that!
Cycle lanes are everywhere here, so they don't just have to use the bus lanes. If there is a cycle lane and a car driver pulls out onto one to try to get into the traffic, three points and a £100.00p fine, so they tend not to do it.
Wow, they Are strict on driving over there in London! Is it like that all over England? I think they should be harsher on drivers over here who disobey certain laws...(but they don't fine you for eating food {like a hot dog!!!}, or drinking a coke while driving, do they? or do women get fined for putting on mascara?---I mean at a red light!!?) Ha... Gee, car crushed, huh?...that IS rather harsh for no insurance. Here, I think it's just a big fine; we always pay for the ins. & it is High now with 2 teen drivers! Our boys are supposed to pay their share; one does, the other one is out of a job currently. I'll be glad when there are only my husband & I to pay for, later on! Maybe the U.S. public safety committee should show that ad about the cycle & the car over here...may make people think twice about getting their truck too close to that motorcycle!
I watered about half of my plants this morning, and came in from the heat; I still need to go finish or else the leaves on some will start drooping or turn yellow. Seen any interesting gardeners lately? The ones around my neighborhood seem kinda boring now that I've heard of the 'Natural gardeners' ! =)
Ky, haven't been to Kentucky before, (but it's on my list of places to go!) but I just thought there wouldn't be bad traffic in that area; do you have people that actually pull out in front of you alot, or what? It would help if people would just put their blinkers on so you'd know what they're going to do! And, also not get on your bumper...and, not change into your lane suddenly without a blinker...and not pull out right in front of you,...and, ' Hey, get off your cell phone so you can turn the corner without hitting me please!' Ha---(of course, it's alright if I put on lip gloss; afterall, my lips are dry from Gardening, and I'm at a Red Light!)
Yep, I generally go the speed limit, which guarantees that I will have tailgaters, as 9 out of 10 drivers here don't care about the laws. It doesn't matter if I'm here on our rural roads or out on the highway. We almost never have police out and about, so they do whatever they want, short of driving nude...but then, I've never really looked down inside their vehicles...
A lot of people said it was to harsh to have your car crushed, however at first they only did it on a six month trial.
Before a lot of people simply never payed the fine as the Court system's are blocked up with work, so millions of fines went unpaid.
So then the Police were given the right to impound the car in their secure car pounds, and the offender had to pay the money first for his fine and then get his car back.
The problem was that most of the people who do this drove away from the pounds without insurance, and they also had lots of other fines that were unpaid as well.
It was so bad a National newspaper got a car sent to the pound, then sent an unknown man with some of the documentation in and said he had paid it at court, and they let him have the car back, and it was not his!
So the Government, Courts, Drivers and Licensing Center, Police, Insurance companies etc. were made to work together to stop this.
When the scheme started if you had to go to the pound to get your car you had to have; a new valid insurance Document, show your Driving License and the new court receipts, showing you had paid the fine.
But people still got away with all the other things like Vehicle Tax etc. no MOT, parking fines, speeding, so five years ago it was all computerized totally!
So now the Police know who you are, what you have done, if you are wanted, if it is your car before they even stop you!
Then when they arrest you, they can do you for driving without insurance, all the other things and tell you how much you owe before you get your car back, that is assuming you get your license back.
If you do not pay a any fine over here within fourteen days now, it is doubled. So an unpaid £80.00 fine if not paid goes up to £160.00p within fourteen days, and if not paid again up to £320.00p, and so on.
So some people end up owing thousands of pounds for unpaid fines, until they are caught driving. Then if they want their car back they have to pay all the fines and other expenses (storage), if they can't afford it, their car is crushed!
They still have to pay their fines though, but they come to an agreement with the court!
The scheme was extended for another year, now legal motorists love it, as their insurance went down dramatically!
The legal people were not paying for the uninsured!
Yes the same laws apply all over England!
The best thing they ever did was the Congestion charge!
If you want to go into Central London in a car or van, then it is £8.00p a day from 7 am till 6 pm!
Before this, the center of London was blocked solid with one person in a car, not now!
Cycles, Motorcycles and Taxis are allowed free.
Also any Nurses, Doctors, firemen etc in their cars and of course local residents are also free. Anybody else who drives into London has to pay!
Use public transport or walk, great idea!
Regards.
Neil.
I mostly go the speed limit, too. Two wks. ago, we were going to San Antonio (about 2 hrs. away), and my husband set the cruise-control on his truck to 70 mph. You wouldn't believe how many people kept passing us, must have been going 80. The problem here is, you never know where the highway cops are going to be, and they are out there; I guess they get some of the speeders anyway. In town here, the city installed cameras at alot of busy intersections to catch people running red lights; don't know how much it's helped, but someone told me that there were now More accidents, because people would try to hurry thru too fast, and then hit another car! So much for newer innovations...
Neil, our insurance is high, & I'm sure part of it is due to the fact that so many do not carry car ins. Now, you Have to show proof of your ins. when you go get your car Registration sticker every year, and also when you get your annual car Inspection. So that has helped some, I guess; can't tell it's any cheaper on our Ins. premium!
Ky, is your local police station short-staffed, or what? I know our city just hired some new people to be trained; I had also voted the last time at a local election, to Pay them more, and maybe we would get more qualified police officers! It is a dangerous job nowadays, seems the 'victim' has more rights than the police.
I must be wrong as I thought the speed limit in America was 55 mph?
Maybe they have changed it, I do not know.
Over here in towns it is 30 mph, country roads 60 mph, and motorways 70 mph.
Although know one takes any notice on the country roads, and that is where most accidents happen!
Our roads are small and twisty, usually edged by hedges and trees and ditches, if you do not know the road, slow down!
They are much loved by sports car owners and motorcyclists, for their is nothing better than speed and twisty bends!
There is an American Air Force base not that far from my cottage, the American flyers hate our roads, they are too small!
They are twisty wet and slippery, the odd tractor crossing them around a corner, or a herd of cows!
There are a few American cars on the base, but they are far too big to get up many of the roads or around the corners!
If you want to go fast on them you need a small fast car, with good handling, braking, and very good reactions.
For one minute you are in the light and as you go around a corner, there are overgrowing trees, and it is dark, with another corner or wall!
Not for the faint hearted!
Good on a motorcycle on a sunny day!
Regards.
Neil.
Wow, sounds like some of the rural roads around here! Police depts here are short-funded, and across the river in Cincinnati, Ohio, they are cutting staff due to tight budget. Firefighters, too. Scary.
Dear KY, I fully admit to not knowing American Roads, though I have been to America once.
We got two weeks local leave whilst in the British Army in Canada, so we hired a car and went into America.
Obviously you drive on the wrong side of the road as we soon found out, not nice!
Also and I am not being an English patriotic, but there were no manners in the American driving etiquette, or indeed skills!
It was more like road rage! Right up behind you, and always wanting to pass you, why?
Surely it is better to be five minutes late in this World, than five minutes early in the next.
Plus American cars are big heavy (especially on fuel), and do not handle.
For instance my wife's car is very small (1.4 l and DOHC 16 valve), yet it can do 125 mph, but if you get caught doing that you will go to prison!
It has anti lock braking, sat navigation, is switchable between city and sports, and two and four wheel drive.
In the city it gives 42 mpg, which is reasonable for a petrol car, as petrol or gas as you call it, costs nearly $12.00 a gallon over here!
Her car is tiny, but it grips the road, brakes very well and is safe, plus has the power to get out of the way should you need it.
Total price $8000, which is not bad on the road with all taxes etc and a five year warranty.
I on the other hand have always been a motorcyclist since I was young. Then I went on to race the things, I admit to getting hurt, but pain is only a sensation, as my sergeant told me, and he liked bad sensations!
There is something about leaning right off a bike onto your leather knee scrapers, totally to the limit, around a corner, that no one can describe. Then the acceleration out of the corner, braking, and the next one, more fun than naked gardening!
Although KY, I must admit the speeds have gone up a lot! For we still have two strokes allowed here, where they are not in certain parts of America, or so I am told!
At Brands Hatch (a race track near us), recently, the smallest 125 cc two strokes were doing over 120 mph.
My old 350 cc would only do 140 mph, oh well
Now the 600 cc four strokes can easily do 160 mph and the big boys 200 mph!
Yes that is bike from a showroom, anyone can buy!
A point of interest, there were a lot of American WWII bomber bases, that were left after the war. Many have rare plants or wildlife on them so cannot be built on.
The Americans did build good runways and surrounding roads, some clever person thought of a good idea; build race circuits around the surrounding roads (i.e. Silverstone), then have track days!
Basically you turn up with your own car, pay a fee ( not much), and after a quick lesson to obey the track rules, you can go round as fast as you want! Medical help and stewards are on every corner, if you slide of you hit the gravel traps, or the grass!
Of course you must wear a crash helmet and have a decent car, a cheap way to have safe and legal fun!
Regards.
Neil.
p.s.
Thanks to the Americans for the air bases, well handy for bikes and cars!
Out of town, on the highways, the speed limit is 70, and some places cuts back to 60; at night, cut it back 5 more. It used to be 55, and actually there were less bad accidents, but then they moved it back to 70---- which seemed fast to me after I'd gotten used to 55 mph! In town here, it's usually 30, but on some larger boulevards it's 40 or 45 mph; you just have to watch out for signs everywhere, & of course school zones are 15 or 20---big fines there for going too fast.
I think America is trying to downsize their cars & trucks; I see smaller cars now than years ago, mainly it's because of the price of gas going up higher---but if I had to pay $12 per gallon, I'd die! My big van seems to take alot of gas; it has a big gas tank, but I just fill up every 2 weeks usually; the thing is, we bought it 10 years ago when gas was much cheaper, & needed it for hauling kids around. I would gladly trade it in for a small car, but right now we are paying off my husband's year-old truck, and we can't have 2 vehicle-loans, too expensive! And his truck is a double-cab, so it isn't small; it's nice, but also takes alot of gas; the thing is, he is tall, and fits better in a big truck; He loves his truck, what can I say? Hey, Neil, You-English drive on the wrong side of the road! If I drove over there, I'd probably just get run over; I don't see how you can 'change-over' if you have to drive in a country that has such different rules! I like twisty, curvy roads if I'm driving a small car, which I seldom get to do. There's a short, curvy street nearby I like, but it isn't much fun in a van, and you have to go 35 mph. What it is, I think, is that it reminds me of driving a go-cart Fast, with my husband ( dating then) & his friends; they had 3 go-carts, & we took them to a vacant school parking lot, where we went racing against each other. We made different, curvy routes, according to the curbs & such, and had so much fun. I usually won, mainly because I was lighter than the guys, and if they got in my way, I ran into them!! Yeah! But, I guess it's a good thing I don't drive a car, truck, or van the same way I drove that go-cart. The police made us leave 'our racetrack' at the school---the neighbors around the area complained because the go-carts were too noisy! Hey, at least we weren't vandalizing the school or getting into trouble!
Neil, $8000 is cheap if your wife's little car was new! They are so expensive over here, at least three times that! Good gas-mileage, too...she should definitely keep it.
Petalpants, yes her car was brand new, and although it may seem small to Americans to us it is not!
It has four doors, a nice boot, is fast enough for what we want. I am 6 foot 2 and a half and I get in quite easily. It takes four people with luggage and cruises at 80 mph, safely, what more do you want?
As it came with a five year warranty, the only things we have had to pay for are tire's and brake pads, which is fair wear and tear.
They service it and do anything that is needed under the warranty, good eh!
As the car dealers cannot sell the cars they have, the Government has brought a scrap it scheme in. If you have an old car that uses a lot of petrol(gas), and is not environmentally friendly, they give you £2000.00p for it, if you buy a new one, then they scrap it!
As they are desperate to sell any new car, the prices are so cheap, using the scrap it scheme you can buy a very nice new car with everything for £8000.00p with £2000.00p off it! So that would be £ 6000.00p or about 9,803.57 USD.
I am talking a nice car for that, with a five year warranty, a years free insurance and road tax!
I would be bored on the straight roads after 30 seconds, I hate motorways as they bore me as well.
I have driven in America and all over Europe and so have driven on the right hand side as well.
Pity the car was not around when the British were in America, you might drive on the left!
Eat sausages instead of Hotdogs, and play Rugby!
Regards.
Neil.
Neil, actually we Do eat Sausage-dogs as well! We grill them outside, and since they are longer, we cut them in half so they fit the bun; then we put whatever toppings we want on them. Isn't Rugby kind of like Football, as I can't remember? You know, sports are Big over here in the U.S., right? I like to go to different games sometimes, but I don't like to watch it on t.v. Well, sometimes I'll watch the SuperBowl on t.v., or the big horse races---because I know I can't Go!! But I like to actually Go to certain games. We sometimes go to the local Ice Rayz games (ice hockey)---I love it! There's so much action, & if you're up front by the glass you get to pound on it and yell at the players,Ha! We also go to local Baseball games at the nice big arena & field we have. Well, have to go... time to fix dinner---not hot dogs! =)
I was talking about real Sausages (98% meat); big, fat and juicy, served with thick rashers of smoked Bacon, Eggs, Black Pudding, Tomato's, field mushrooms and bubble and squeak.
Plus of course slices of bread and a pint of tea!
That is a real breakfast!
The only Sausage Dogs I know are called Daschunds!
We went to see a Baseball match; I could not stop laughing, for it is exactly the same as rounders (on a smaller scale), which young girls play at school over here, in the playground!
Rounders goes back centuries here and works on the same principle; young girls have to hit a ball with a bat, then run to a protected base, or if they hit it hard enough they and everyone else can run all the way round. Hence it is called rounders!
Rugby is nothing like football or Soccer as we call it! Rugby Union is fifteen men per side; then with no protection at all allowed, you try to score a try, and get hurt, a lot!
For running fast and getting hit by a twenty three stone (one stone =14 pounds in weight), prop forward is not good for your health! You are not allowed to pass the ball forward or throw it forward, only backwards and sideways as long as it is backwards! You are also not allowed to tackle a man who is not carrying the ball, and with the latest rules; no eye gouging in a scrum (putting your finger in to another players eye trying to pul it out), or high tackles around someone's neck, neither are you supposed to grab someone's private parts in the scrum, but that still goes on! They also stopped face stamping with studded boots. The worst offense is "pile driving," which is basically two to three players grabbing an opposition player and turning him upside down, holding his legs. Then they ram his head into the turf, usually it can break their neck and leave them paralyzed!
If you are caught doing that you are banned for life, the French were bad at that and the All Blacks, till it was banned!
My wife banned me from playing Rugby, but men will be men, as you probably know!
I was asked to play in a "friendly match," in Rugby there is no such thing; so thinking I was twenty one again, I agreed and got my old Rugby kit out. As it was a cold day I borrowed my wife's training bottoms, and her training top, big mistake!
Half way through the match (no timeouts in Rugby), whilst running for the try line ( touchdown), with the ball, I got hit by a very big and angry prop forward. I did manage to put it down and score, then the World went blank!
I woke up stark naked in a cold shower in the club house, which is normal. Instead of getting medical attention they did it the Rugby way, got me dressed and took me in the bar! I do not know what they gave me to drink, but I was happy and could not feel a thing. Unbeknown to me, they had ripped the wife's training top and bottom, either throwing me in the team van or pulling me out!
Then they dropped me on the step outside where I live (it was late at night by then), and kept ringing the door bell, as soon as the light came on the lads jumped in the van and drove off.
My wife opened the door, then looked down and I was sat there smiling at her, she was not amused to say the least!
When she saw her Rugby training bottoms and top covered in mud and blood and torn to bits she went berserk at me.
She managed to get me in; getting us both a drink, she got what was left of her training clothing of me, then took great delight with a big lump of cotton wool and that antiseptic stuff (TCP), into the wounds, it hurt a lot!
Next morning I could not move at all, the pain was immense if I tried to, I got no sympathy from the wife at all, " self inflicted injury," she said!
In the end, she realized something was wrong, and looked at my ribs, they were black and blue with bruising, so was my wrist, my collar bone and my ankle. She could not move me so got an ambulance, and they took me to Hospital. Verdict; three broken ribs, a collar bone, a cracked wrist and ankle, plus another telling off from the Doctor!
The wife collected me from the Hospital; as they can't do anything for broken ribs, just strap them up, then she stopped off in the pub car park and told me I was buying her lunch! As I went in the pub everyone was looking at me, I could not work out why until I went to order some drinks, looking in the bar mirror, I had two black eyes and a big scar from a boot stud on my face!
My wife was laughing at me, another way of getting her own back!
I bought her a new England Rugby training suit and learnt a valuable lesson!
Do not try to do the things you could do at twenty one, your mind may think it can do it, but the body does not like it!
Regards to you All!
Neil.
Oh my gosh, Neil--- Yes, we wives know you guys have to keep putting on that 'macho' image, even when you shouldn't. And, when you do, we take care of you, but Don't feel sorry for you, as you should know better by now; and can you blame us for snickering a little bit at your antics?! Rugby sounds rougher than football, for at least our players wear helmets and pads, same as ice hockey players---although they get in fights, and the crowd cheers them on! It's only when the umpires catch them, then they have to go to the penalty box. Baseball is less rough, and they wear batting helmets. Have to go!
Dear Petalpants, I am fully aware of what women think of us, but what goes around comes around!
There are two great books one is; 101 uses of a dead cat, this was most useful when the wife's cat died!
The other is 101 ways to really annoy your wife, without her knowing!
I am only on page 14 and have not been caught yet!
Regards.
Neil.
Neil, those books sound awful!!! The only thing to do with a dead cat is bury it, period! Our little fluffy cat, Marshmallow, is buried in the backyard; we practically have a pet cemetery out there. The other book actually sounds worse; must be joke books, I'm pretty sure...were they written by the same author? Hmmnn...why on earth would you want to annoy your wife anyway? Don't you like harmony in your house?! I wish I had her email & I would let her know, so she could go buy '101 Ways to Positively Annoy Your Husband!' ---Ha! (Oh, she probably doesn't even need a book; we women can figure out things to do on our own!!) =)
Petalpants, you are a woman, so of course you will never understand!
If the wife gives me a shopping list I duly go down to the shops, in and out I fly, fifteen minutes later, finished done!
When I get dragged screaming down the shopping mall, for the same things it takes two and a half hours.
She has to look at everything, inspect each shop, especially the shoe one!
If she gets any more shoes you would not be able to get in the bedroom!
Then it is, that is a nice dress to wear for your Regimental do on Saturday; so I stay outside whilst she tries all these dresses on, and jackets and scarves etc.
An hour later she appears laden with bags, and things! By this time my patience is wearing a tad thin to say the least.
So I take solace in the pub; then when all the bags are dumped next to me, it is usually I am going for some make up!
Make up, she has enough make up to do the entire population of England!
On the said night for my Regimental do, I iron my clothes (yes I do the washing as well), polish my shoes, get shaved and washed and dressed. Medals all polished and right, blazer on correctly.
An hour and a half later she is still doing her make up, and we are going to be late, which I have to explain as the traffic was bad, when we eventually get there!
I cook, but I clean up as I go, if the wife cooks it looks like Hiroshima afterwards!
Is this right?
Or am i a man, who basically would prefer things done on time!
Regards.
Neil.
