We came from here
Accessible Gardening Thread #12 (Compassion for...)
We came from here
Hooray for new thread! I used to spit blue words at that thought as a seamstress! Threading the machine or worse...filling and threading the bobbin ya know! ^_^
I HATED threading the bobbin. Probably why my sewing machine has been in the closet for 10 years. :-)
LOL it has been so hot outside I had decided that I would make some new curtains for the for the youngens rooms , the living room , and our room . now I know most of you are rolling on the floor by now but Old Sarge is Pretty Dagum Good with a thread and needle let me tell ya.
However, that donít mean nothing when it comes to gitten out the old Brother Sewing machine we got a few years back , no instructions , just a friend gave it to us and good Lord knows I had forgot what way the bobbin wound up, went in , and the fuffy stuff had took up a home on the bobbin hole so the thing would knot up and brake as fast as it did to set it up .
Now Ol Sarge Donít Have Mush Hair to start with so now I donít have that much for sure now . I finally Called my neighbor and she come over Bless her Heart Miss Kathy (68 yr) sat down and dismantled the thing and cleaned the thing from one end to the other. Oiled what needed to be oiled and I helped so I would know how to do it the next time and learned how to do the bobbin too : >0 .
Then come time to thread the machine she did it . ; > ) I was happy , Ms. Kathy even sewed with it & it made the prettiest stitches on the scraps you ever did see. Then she pulled the thread out and said ok now you thread it !
Man was I shocked LOL but I did git back in there and Right the first time but I had to use the MAG GLASS the thread the needle . The machine works Awesome and I have fixed all kinds of things here in the last few days.
Man, I used to be an ACE, a WHIZ with a sewing machine. I sewed a lot, nearly all in fact, of my own clothes, and some of my boyfriend's clothes too. I could thread my machine, I could make buttonholes and zippers and piping and interfacing and all that stuff I once thought was hard. The saddest day in my life was when I figured out I could no longer control the pressure foot accurately. Well, there are a lot of other sad days too and more happy ones, thank goodness. I once made a linen suit for myself! It would still fit, too, if I ever wore skirts.
Carrie, Kudos to you on the sewing. A linen suit, Don't think i'm brave enough to try linen. Have you thought about finding a pair of pants that would go with the jacket? I made a lot of my girls clothes when they were little.Curtains and bedspreads,all kinds of kitchen odds and ends,bags,sacks and Christmas ornaments.There were times when i could'nt afford it unless i made it. I've still got alot of material in my work shop. Just don't have anything i want at the moment.Reckon i could make a patchwork tent? It could really be colorful, hee,hee hee!
Sarge, I had no trouble beleiving you can sew. I've known several Army men who learned to sew some because they had to repair uniforms overseas and could'nt afford to have it done. I'd feed them, give them a place to stay overnight if they missed the bus to base. Listen to sad tales of woe, give medical advise. But no way would i sew.DH had to beg,plead,and threaten before i'd touch his uniforms.
This message was edited Jul 25, 2010 8:30 PM
Oh, I don't even know what happened to it. That was my old life, Vickie. I should add that it was a linen blend, not straight linen, but everything was lined and hemmed and there were shoulder pads exactly where they were supposed to be (not like today where they'll tack one corner on and call that "in").
I was Single and had a young girl to take care of all by myself , during the years of 18 months to 9 years old. (Her Moma had passed) so I had to be handy with the thread and needle for mending things that needed mending . but a machine was a diffrent ball game for me . LOL
(The Oldest is now 13 years old now & doing Quite well Ol Sarge did Good I Recon in those years alone She has a Good Haead on her Shoulders.)
Even Kay isnít sticking her nose outside today. Heat index of 112 and 82% humidity.
Sarge, glad to encounter another Renaissance Man. Lol. The only sewing machine in the house belongs to me. My mother sewed custom drapes for Sears when I was a kid. She demanded my two brothers and I at learn simple mending at the very least. I was fascinated by the way the sewing machine worked as a kid so I learned a little more than the basics. Iíve always been grateful she took the time to teach me. Especially, when I bought my first house and learned how expensive curtains and drapes could be.
Katie, are plumeria leaves SUPPOSED to be a light shade of green or are we not giving them something they need? Our little plumeria seems healthy, but it is a yellowish green in color. This is our first year growing them.
Sheri, Iím trying to decide what plants would be best in your fall package from Amargia. Can caladium bulbs be left in the ground during winter there? I will find something less labor intensive if they have to be dug up. Just knowing you are in NC doesnít tell me much. Iíve read the state is broken up into 4 or 5 different climate zones. Lol. It seems to depend a little on who is doing the counting. But, there is definitely a lot of climate variation in the state.
Vickie, do you still have any Egyptian (walking) onions available? If so, can we negotiate a trade? (Jim)
Jim, probably best to ask at the plumeria forum. I think mine do OK mostly cause of being in the right climate. And cause i wont' let the dogs play with them even when they look like sticks.
I think a mouse is living in my kitchen. The two bigger dogs have helpfully cleared teh shelves where they think it might be. Anyooe want a helpful dog?
It's very hot here, too. Tony and I were both fading. I told him to leave early if he wanted to. He did. One of the best thinks about being his "boss" is that I can trust him. He's more inclined to wwork until he drops so I go the route of pushing him to take it easier, rather than work harder. Makes it a pleasant work environment for both of us.
While we droop, the epis are growing like weeds. My outdoor plant room is like a jungle. Tony fixed the solid wall with a chicken wire cover so my epis can grow up there.
Tony also poured a concret "surprise" and then took my advice and went home a little early, thanking me. He thinks I'm great, I'm appalled that other employers have never been concerned about heat stroke. This weather can kill people.
I've got the fan blowing on me while I play poker. And drink iced tea.
The good life.
hugs all around, katie
Katie - who r you playin poker with?
Jim- I am technically 7a, but have a Gardenia shrub that blooms each year (supposedly zone 8). I'm sure it does ok cause it is right near the house on the Southern side & protected by a huge Holly beside it. I do know that Caladiums won't overwinter here though. I would love some more of those pink flowered shamrocks. I just love them and only about 1/2 survived. Guess they arn't meant for this hot sun. The ones that did well are closer to or in shade.
Hi to everyone. ~ing @ ya!
Hugs all around,
Sheri & Elvis, Dogwood, Sara & Marly
OK. Big sigh. DD #1 was ARRESTED for underage drinking (she's 19) and another charge which in MA would be a misdemeanor but in AZ where she lives is automatically a felony. Of course, they don't want a bunch of kids walking around with felony records so they usually drop the charges if they go to AA for a certain length of time. She's very afraid, which is probably a good thing. For a year now she's been saying well I would see a therapist there just aren't any in this town. Well, once she asked me to help it took me 10 min with google to find two suitable people who both called me back that day and I chose one and was able to make an appt. for tomorrow. Mom saves the day. I gave her two checks made out to the therapist. "Mom, you can just pt the money in my account, I'm not gonna spend it on anything else!" I don't trust her as far as I can spit, and I can't spit far at all.
Needless to say, this piece of news has to stay on this forum.
This message was edited Jul 29, 2010 12:48 PM
Get Her Mom , Some Times Tough Love is the Best Love . and the worst Whoppen you could ever Give a youngen too . we will Keep you and Her in our Prayers Hun it's going to be a battle but the Good Lord can help you Win that one easy .
Thanks, Sarge. I already feel about 10 years older than I did last week!
I know the feeling it can wear you out fast and seems like you dont know what too do some times you wish you could just wring their neck for the silly things they do . then you wonder what you did wrong . but in reality you did all the right things and they have made their choices some thime you have to let them learn from their mistakes . it is hard to do.
trust me I know but if you bail them out all the time it will never stop because they know Mom & Dad will Bail them out . Yes it will hurt and you have to chose the right time to do it to set them on their Butt and make them think . However stick to your guns when you do it and you will see a huge diffrence in the Growth and development in the youngen the next time the do something .
This message was edited Jul 29, 2010 10:00 AM
I don't understand the concept of putting a "secret" on the internet for all to see........but then, perhaps I am missing something here.
It's not a "secret," Sheri, but I'm not telling everyone-I-know in a public forum. It's not, for instance, in my profile as a writer. Anyone who cares enough about me to track me to this forum is welcome to know. But if you bump into me elsewhere, I wouldn't expect you to say "hey, Carrie, how's your writing career going now that your daughter's legal fees are more than the $50 a month can cover?" I mean, I know you wouldn't, but I don't know why I had to say it. I'm afraid she'll go on FaceBook and say "bummer, I got arrested and now my parents know, too." Those stories NEVER GO AWAY. Here I feel safer, because I love you guys, and I didn't know where else to turn. I mean you're right, but I'm hoping that this forum is out-of-the-way enough that nobody will bother to look me up. I guess I'll never be a Supreme Court Justice now - that and the absence of a law degree. I guess all anybody would have to do is look me up under "my info" and 'recent posts' and "bing-bing-bing-bing" alarms would go off. Maybe I should edit my post. Sheri, it's the getting arrested part that has me horrified, but you're probably right.
This message was edited Jul 29, 2010 12:50 PM
Carrie, you have to have some place that you feel safe enough and comfortable enough to talk about it. This one, qualifies. :-) Yes, a determined person can find it, but you are right that it won't be like posting on Facebook or Twitter or the front page of the newspaper.
I think anyone born post-1960ís who hasnít experimented with drugs would be rare enough to be a news story. And, Kay laughs at my idea that the drug culture began then. She says the late 60ís is just when people started talking about drug use openly without all the weird metaphors. That drug use among young people is a problem hasnít been a secret for more than 40 years. We need to shine the light into lifeís darker corners sometimes.
When someone once criticized Kay for her honesty and openness about things she has been thru. Our minister defended Kayís way saying, ďI would rather deal with someone who has visible scars they donít try to hide. Then, to deal with someone who has festering wounds they try to keep covered. A wound that heals while exposed to fresh air and light is healed for good and always. Wounds that heal hidden in the dark tend to heal only on the surface and fester deep in.Ē I believe he is right. As a relatively new guardian/godfather/step-father, I can tell you that a child gone astray is like taking a wound for a parent.
Iíll check out the plumeria thread, Katiebear. I know what you mean. When people in other parts of the country ask about growing cannas Iím always at a loss about what to tell them. Here you just stick them in the ground and get out of their way. Lol. (Jim)
Hey Carrie, I wasn't trying to be smart toward you. I just thought of that, so wrote it. Sorry if any offense. ^_^
Dang, replied, computer ate it. Good will to all and peace on earth.
I usually eat near mine. The aromas & occasional splaters keep her cool & satisfied! ^_^
Gee, I'm a slob when eating. I don't allow food or drink in the computer room. Did i tell you i'm the proud owner of a new laptop. I have'nt used it yet as i'm waiting to see someone look over my sholdier when i do so i don't press the button that erases the whole WWW.
Carrie I know what you're going thru. I'm going to share something i wish you'd share with your DD. I had'nt heard anything about my DD in Texas all last week. I asked my other DD this morning if she had heard anything. They were'nt going to tell me but DD#1 and her husband had gone to "The Boats" (gambling) Her husband got mad at her and left her alongside the road,75 miles from home,She was very drunk. She walked about half way home and was found under an overpass and taken to the hospital badly dehydrated. The next day her husband picked her up.No one has heard from her in 4 days. I'm not physically able to go down there right now but tomorrow i'll be calling all the law inforcement people down there to find her. Your DD has sense enough not to end up like that. BTW This daughter was salutatorun of her class in HS, class president,school favorite,editor of annual staff. Had a small scholarship to Notre Dame for Volley Ball. And now she appears to be missing, and theres not a blasted thing i can do but pray for her. I ought to be down there looking for her and take a gun and do some Texas Justice. And see how fast her DH and her son can dance with bullets aimed at their feet.
On the happy side DD and i found a few rocks for Kay yesterday. Than last nite i made a rock totem. I saw one in a mag. and could'nt stand it and had to make one.How many totems do you want Kay?
I THINK EVERYONE NEEDS A ROCK TOTEM.
Don't know about drug abuse in the 60,s but in the 50,s it was alcohol and a big problem. In the 70,s it was marajuna(SP)
Everyone stay safe tonight. I'll try to keep everyone updated tomorrow.
That's good to hear Vickie, well, no, not good to hear but sweet of you to share. Her new shrink ($100/hr out of my pocket which doesn't have much left in it) thinks she is bipola Whr. She has sucked her in too, now that I think about it. If she were bipolar, could she fake being a nice sweet sober college student when she's home and punch her bf in the face when she's drunk? I don't know, but I thought that type of mental illness was more uncontrollable. Who knows? Not I.
Vickie, prayers for your DD and you.
I still tend to think of cannabis as old peopleís medicine because that was my first impression. Elderly people in the Everglades, people so old they still spoke the old tongue among themselves, would smoke it to ease their aches and pains before bedtime and to treat certain eye conditions. I was in my 20ís before I saw for myself it had an underside, used by younger people for recreation. It wasnít until the late 1930ís that it was made illegal in this part of the country. And, some places were slower than others to take the law seriously. I believe it was made illegal in Arkansas and other western states earlier than that. My mother always said she thought it would be like Prohibition and eventually the law would be repealed. After all, it was just hemp. I mean, there was a law in Virginia during colonial times that all farmers HAD to grow a certain amount of Indian hemp. Turning over your hemp harvest was how you paid your state taxes. Now, if there is cannabis growing on your property, they confiscate your land and throw you in jail on manufacturing charges. Just like if you were running a Meth lab. The times they have aíchanged. Farmers now walk their land to be sure none is growing as a weed so they donít lose their land.
A totem pole? LOL.
Iíve got a talking book especially geared to older people getting their first computer. Iíll see if I can find it and send it your way.
Hugs, Carrie. Count it as a blessing if she is willing to enter treatment. My eldest is still convinced that it is the rest of us that have a problem and she is fine. I actually DID read post on Facebook to keep track of her. My other daughters decided it was masochistic for me to do that so they keep an eye on her and tell me what they think I need to know. Until she decides she needs help, there is nothing I can do. State law here doesnít allow you to commit a person to a treatment facility against their will. By the time they become a danger to themselves and/or others, it isnít a decent alcohol/drug treatment facility they are committed to. I havenít checked the laws in CA, where she is now, but I imagine they are even more liberal than here. I guess the law has to be that way to protect the rights of vulnerable individuals and prevent abuses, but it is rough on parents. The fact that the ďchildĒ is approaching middle age doesnít seem to make much of a difference.
Note: People with deep roots in the Everglades once spoke a language peculiar to them rather like Creole. It is dead and all but forgotten now. They say at FSU it was a strange combination of five different languages. I just realized when I proofread that is probably very local Knowledge. Kay*
Luckily - or not - my child is *approaching* adulthood, and seeks to quell her raging inner demons by drinking etc. too much. Better to DEAL WITH said demons, don't you think? She used to draw pictures, at age 5, with her arms outstretched, me on one end, her father on the other I always thought she was trying to keep us from fighting, DH (step-father) thinks she was trying to keep us together. I'll let the shrink figure it out. Thank God I was granted a "cruel and abusive" divorce which was effective in 3 months. Why oh why he was given all this crazy visitation which he rarely used but I had to have the kids ready for just in case. It was horrible for the kids - less horrible than being beaten up regularly (themselves or me), but still, not optimal. But it's weird that she has repressed all these memories!
There are those who compare growing up in an abusive (usually alchohol related) environment to being a holocaust survivor. My father was a "nice guy" respectable lawyer who just had violent screaming rages every so often - always at home and we kept it secret, not even discussing it amongst ourselves. The elephant in the livings room, as they say. I'm almost seventy and have been sober almost twenty-five years. I still have "harballs" - the experience when some old childhood memory pops into the forefront of my mind as if it had just happened.
By the way, Ca. laws require that a person be a danger to themselves or others, also. Reminds me of a case I had as a new child welfare worker. But that's another story.
hugs all around,
P.S. I've been in a lot of pain so not posting much. I am here.
Carrie, agree that demons should be brought out into the open and 'slain with swords of purifying fire.' Some people, consciously or not, think the pain from acknowledgment will be worse than the pain of repression, that there is no bottom to the hurt so they keep it buried. For me and my siblings, the getting ready for visitations that never happened kept hope going Daddy would come back and everything would be all right. When he did, it turned out to be the worst thing for all of us, but kids do have 'magical' beliefs. In that light, I think your DH's interpretation is probably correct. Repression is fairly common for kids under traumatic stress--I can't remember most of my childhood or teenage years. Was one of those "if-I-don't-face-it-it-isn't-there" people. Stayed away from drugs because they scared me, but, boy did I drink. And smoke. And eat. And sleep. My escapes of choice.
I am so sorry this is happening. You know we are here to listen when you need it...
I'll agree with Debra sometimes it is nice just to know you can talk to others and hear that you are not the only one that has been or is dealing with a personal issue and folks on here that might be in the same situation or can offer some words of encouragement to you are worth the chat.
There are Many Social groups that are based on Friends 4 Friends Support.
When I was about 11, I started wearing my hair long. Kayís dad took one look at me when I came for a summer visit and said, ďBoy, that hair makes you look like rope smokiní, tug trash. Cut it, if you expect to be aboard one of my boats.Ē One of Kayís cousins finally explained to me what ďrope smokiní, tug trashĒ meant. I think that was when I first learned about marijuana. Coming from a Pennsylvania Dutch enclave I was more than a little naive. Lol. I made up for lost time though when I went to high school in York. But, honestly, I donít think I got as wild as some of the Amish boys during ďrumspringaĒ. That is a time when some sects allow older teenagers to experience the outside world without repercussions so they can make an informed adult decision about their baptism and staying with the community. Funny thing is I donít remember any that chose to leave the community. It was like after a certain amount of decadence; they burned out and found it boring. That leads me to believe the early moral training you give your child will usually click back into place eventually. Kayís eldest has always been rebellious. She thinks because her IQ is at genius level she is smarter than everyone else. You canít teach anyone anything, if they already think they know everything. Kay tried putting her in therapy, but one psycho-therapist told her she was just wasting her money and his time. Evidently, you have to get to a certain stage or frame of mind before therapy will work.
Vickie, I donít know if we will be able to make the trip exactly the way we planned it. One of Kay's brothers is talking about just flying their sister here. But, Iím still going to try to get up there and burn some marshmallows with you in Oct. And, if your up to it, we can drive down to MS and see if we can get ourselves a free catfish supper. Think Scraps would make us work for our supper? Kay says she is willing to do our share of the work, but we have to give her our share of any hushpuppies we are served. Woman is a hushpuppy fiend! BTW: Has anyone heard from Steph? I imagine the heat is really bad there too.
Carrie, they told us at the hospital when we were trying to get help for J. that the meds and stuff would not control her bipolar disorder while she was still drinking and drugging so donít let your DD put the cart in front of the horse. (Jim)
Amen to what Jim just said about putting the cart before the horse. For anything else (including talk therapy) to work, the drinking must stop.
This just reminded me of something funny that happened about twenty years ago when my parents and my older sister Mary were alive I was in Ca.; they were all in Michigan so our contacts were by phone. Over a period of several weeks both parents kept telling me how Mary had been diagnosed as bipolar and was now taking lithium and it was all so wonderful. Ok, I thought. Then one day my mother mentioned, almost as an aside that Mary had quit drinking alchohol.. I said that was probably a good thing as she'd maybe had a problem with it. Well, yes, my mother continued casually, Mary had been diagnosed as bipolar while in treatment at Hazeldon. Hazeldon is, for those of you not in the know, a famous center for the treatment of alchoholism.
My father was an alchohic; my younger sister was an alchoholic with behavior problems with it that were enough to allow my parents to have her committed. I had been in AA for several years. Never underestimate the power of denial. In a conversation a few weeks later my mother was twittering abou how "those people" were telling Mary she should "go to all these meetings and she just doesn't have time for that." At that point I spoke up and told my mother that it was a life or death issue and she should stay out of it.
I cannot believe some of the memories that this topic is bringing up for me. aarrgg - hairballs.
Katie, I love that expression--"hairballs." Do you mind if I borrow it to use for myself?
Jim,LOL The long hair and bell bottoms were in durig my DD,s teenage years. My doctor(who also went to my church) and i had some good discussions over the years. I usually lost,but one i won. He was totally against his son wearing long hair. I pointed out that all pictures of Jesus, shown Him with long hair. He did'nt argue but he did'nt change his mind either.
I'm also sure i have some totally unreasonable beleifs i have no intentions of giveing up. LOL
Both my DD,s are having serious troubles right now.
The oldest was left beside the road by her DH. She was drunk. She apparently walked about 30 miles and collapsed at an overpass. Some one called an ambulance but she refused treatment.and they left. when i was an EMT in Texas, When we thought there was serious trouble, If the person passed out we had implied concent. We'd sit there and wait awhile. I guess people are not as kind anymore. She is back home and wants to leave her husband and son and come up here. But she wont leave without her pickup and they wont let her have it. My nephew and I will chip in and give her the gas someway. but not untill she,s on her way. The other DD,s boyfriend got drunk and drove off a sharp curve into a canion (about 180 feet.) He totaled DD,s pickup but he was'nt hurt. He was too drunk to stiffen up. I've seen it before. She had just spent a bunch of money making it drivable. Now she has no car and no way of getting one. And her BF is in jail and since it is his 4th offence He'll be spending a year in prison.
I feel very sorry for her but i've no intention of helping in anyway. I still just want out of Dodge. She can sell HER land. I probably sound unfeeling but there has been too much against me in too short a time. For my sanity i need to get out. I've been packing and have cancelled my propane, the tank is empty. I wish i could hang around till October. I will keep you up to date where i am(Thanks to Debra)I wont be far away and can come back for awhile cause i want to get rid of all my flowers as no one would take care of them here. I also plan on having a yard sale here. Right now i've got boxes everywhere and of course cannot find anything even tho they are semi sorted.I really want you to come. The condo will not be touched.
Hey Jim and Kay, I can make hushpuppies. It's a requirement in my family, along with homemade bisquits and gravy, pinto beans and cornbread,and homemade butterscotch pie. Are we southern or what?!!!!
Carrie, Try to keep your DD in line if possible.Tho i sure don't know how.
Also Bi-polar disease. One is never happy. They go from extreme highs in that they are super hyper and will do extreme things like going out and buying any and everything they can get their hands on in other words extreme pleasure, but it does'nt make them happy. at the other extreme they get so depressed they could harm themselves. They can be helped drinking or not. The problem is it takes a long hospital stay and intensive therepy. The goverment nor insurance will pay for long intensive hospital care.NOT IN THIS COUNTRY. I was lucky to have had all the depression therapy before it got so expensive.Now they more or less babysit you and give you a place to stay without any stesses. They used to give you written tests(took a whole day to complete) that would pinpoint your disease.From what you said i doubt she has Bipolar disease
I have'nt heard fom Steph either. I'll call her tomorrow.
Have a good night all, I plan to.
Help yourself. It seems a perfect description for those memories that pop up and leave us gagging.
LOL....Hairballs...sure is a good description of getting deep into the nitty gritty or rather ushy mushy of the past......Uck!
Hugs all around,
Hang tough, Vickie. You are doing the right thing with both your daughters. It's clear that it is not easy for you and you would be one sick mother if it was. Sounds like you are doing what is the best thing for you and that is the best thing you can do for your daughters - show them a person who can and does take care of herself. Keep putting yourself first. Seems very unmotherly at times but it's the right thing to do.