Hello Iris, this is the first cyber love letter, that I has ever writ.I want you to know, that you is the prettest Mezzer, I has ever seen.I hopes you look as good, as your picture, cause seeing your picture, has had me actin like I'm on nip.Old unkle Tigger says, "You will get over it", but I don't think I will.I am the happest Mezer that the world has ever known.I am so glad, that I have you to write to.I hopes to hear from you. Simon
Letters to Iris, from Simon
Omigoodness Simon, thank you for the very nice letter. I no Souky gets them alla time from that rascal Huck, but I had no idea you wood send one to me. Thank you very much. You seem to be quite a gentleman in spite of your tender years. I wood like to say I am a lady but unforchunitly I am always in search of fun and somtimes it gets me in trubble. Not bad trubble. Just mom yellin at me. Nobody here is any fun. i hope they gets a noo kitty that will want to play becaz all these other cats is old or lazy.
I must confess I has another admirererer, and his name is Nutella, but he hasn't sent me a letter for a long time so you don't need to worry about it. He looks just like me. You look like a sealed-with-a-kiss point. That's a cat joke in case you dint no.
You are very handsome. I bet Souky is gonna be jellus. Here's a picture of me when I was your age, just for you.
Dis...is jusss pathedic.....you is barely lidder box trayned....and you iz in loves with iris....and she is like 3 ears old I think!
Huck, (who is muches more eggsperienced with the love issues take notes)
UH, uh. OOOO....It must be kitty love.````````` (the two footers will only get the tune if they are from the high school time of 60's 70s'
I am standing right behinds my daddy, and we are writting this letter to my bright breath of string, Iris. If you Huck, thinks I don't know much, well just yesterday, I stands ups to Tigger, a very seasoned feral, and mades my self known, that I'm nots gettin whopes on the head, just for going to the food dish. You might not knows this, but Tigger has a very strong left, and we comes to a good understanding.
So now dudes, my Dr. apointment is, Oct.26, and Maybe then I'' slow down, or not fight with Baggy, or Tigger, coarse thats up to dem.
How beautiful my Iris is, and it grows in my heart.Iris is not worried, bout me nots being, as you say," barely litter box trained," That don'ts matter, cause my daddy was claimed, by momma, for he was litter box trained.At least I'm not as dumb as baggy, who has been in fights with possums, yes, two, to be exat, and I'm not sure who came out the best.
Any way, M&D are getting ready for Jay man, and Tigger, and Baggy are concerned, but not me, I might share my bed wiff him, but he better watch how he talk, cause I spends more time in that bed, so its all mine.I heard him tell daddy, that "There won't be any D--n cats in my room"I must come up with a good one, cause my daddy blowes up a baloon, and puts it under the covers, and I pounce on it. He better not look like a ballon, in my bed.("Barley litter box trained")! Huh-HuhI
Iris, don't listen to old juvies, abouts my feelings, I'll tells you myself. Simon
I knews, it was a madder of time before Nutella showed up to claim his woooman. Sigh. Its like a harleqwen rooomance novel on here sumtimes.
I can juss see Iris all puffed up and struttin.....thinkin she has all the boys fitin over her.
Simon, don't you or Daddy take any business from Jay man....its your howze and he needs to respeckt your Daddy and his wishes for his own home. Or he can go sleeps in the garage! It is called FURRniture for a reason...a cat belongs on it!
I gotta go....the world needs saving. No worries, me and Dexter, we gots your back.
Offs kours she isn't sociable.....Princesses must sleep up...and on pillows. Its in the fairy books.
Thanks Nutella, yous keeps sleeping, and I'll take care of Iris. Yous has a very nice fambly, and yous not so bad youself.I believe "alls fair in love, and war", buts I likes love the best.Now when it comes to dealing with ole Jay Man, we are goina takes care of that. Aunt Debbie, yous right, its furrniture, and I sleeps in there.Baggy, and Tigger opened the phone book up to (Hotels), sos daddy can get the idea.Daddy feels too obligated to Jay Man, but we sees him different.
Iris, I want you not to worry, and all I ask is Pick the best, and I know things will work outs well.There is an old song, back in M&D years, that goes "On top of ole smoky, I lost my dear lover, from courting too slow", and I'm not the one sleeping. Simon
Simon, cuty kitten, this is Nutella's mother.
He doesn't know what's coming, we are getting a member of the K9 family to join the family in 2 weeks. Nutellie-king's sleepy days are quickly coming to an end!
Iris, you have grown into a lovely lady cat!
Here is a picture of the dog, who are naming Simba, after the Fox Terrier I had growing up in my young years!
OOooOoohhhh he isn't gonna be a happy cat...nope. That one has chompers.....
My mom is here "oooohhhh puppy....how cute" Ackkkk
At leeest he isn't big enuff to eats you like Izzy is....but...he is gonna eats your foods.
I know that Nutella will like the new dog, because it has such a sweet face, and am sure its "Cat frendly", and my daddy says he likes the new dog, and wishes he could get another, but mom gots too upsot, when "Heather" died, that daddy won't get another.Thats alright, they have us, and Baggy, and Mitzi love Daddy best, and I loves momma best, so do Tigger, so thats works out.
Yo sure do have a comfortable bed, Iris, I woulds Love to Cuttle in there with you. You will find me very presonal, and loving. The pic was of me helping Momma reads the paper.I has to turn the pages.Sometimes I fells asleep like this, on the arm of the couch.Daddy says we needs a new couch, but I likes this one best of all. Simon
OOOOOUCH! Ohhh that hurtz bad...I can tell. Did you have a raybees booster? I thinks I am gonna cry from your boo-boo....I am only 10 weeks old ...so I can still cry for a frend.
I don't know where mom gots my kowch...she said its an old moddle and she has had it for bouts 21 years....WAY before my time.
Sumtimes its not very deepennadable...and lets my brudder Dexter sits on my head.
Hey Weve, how you get tangled wiff a rakkoon? Baggy fights the possum, when it comes around to eats whats lef of the food, and his ears are all hurted, but he don't have the boo-boos what you got.Ouch !!
I don'ts got a koutch like axl has, but I bet I can gets one. Nutella how come yous gots rid of the koutch, what you had? I thought they gets more compfy wiff age. Simon
Poor baby, did anybody write any pawetry on your bandage?
You bedder puts it back on Weave-meister....its gonna gets and infekshion...espeshially if you visits the box.
Don't eets it like Izzy does...thats just bad.
Maybe if a note is written with a bit of bling...pretty and safe ink..it will be cool enough for you to wear.
Iris, with all these kitty concerns, lets us just flootaways on our emaginary love cloud to a place like shang re la, and pretend we has forever to splore our inside thoughts.I know your sister has this tghing for Huck, but I doubt his magination is as detailed as mine.We can floot on a ship, through the sky, and look down on Huck, and Souky, and they will enves where we is going.Stay wid me, and beyond the sky is the limit.We can leaves after the 27th of Oct, cause I has to keeps my appointments wiff the Vets.
Take care of yo buitiful self, and don't listen to Huck.(Don't knows how to use a kitty box!!) Simon
Hello love birds, this is Simon, and I jest ocomplished anuter miles stone, that I has to tell yous about. You knows Baggy has issues wid me, and I guess ebery else, but he came into the kitchen, and saw me, and I guess i'm not supose to be whar he is, so he puffs up, at me, and I lets the air out of him.Why do eberbody think cause I's a Meezer, that they have to bes afraid of me?Do other Meezers walk around like dat, and gets the right-a-way?I don't understands that.
Another thing, when Daddy sits where mommy, and me sits, on the koutch, I does all in ,y power to get him to move, cause thats mommy, and my seat.Let daddy go figure. Simon
Hehehe, Simon, I do the same thing with Mom. She is my MOM...and noboddy elses....and I don't share her. Ifn' I wants Mom time...and someone else is there...they gotta go. I climb on mom and clame her. Same with the bed at nights time...nobody on my mom in bed...I chases them right off....unless I sayz it is oK. IFn' dad is too klose...I sleeps in the middle of the bed....so he don't rolls over on her.....
Juss doing my job.....and I am nots a meezer.....
BUT...you know....it cood be kauz you hasn't had your surgery yet....and the other male kiddies know....and things cood change after that little surgery.
Hey Simon and Tiger...and Baggy....did the jayman leeve you alone and did you sleep on your bed likes you suposed too?
Iris is probalee cryin in her milk she hazn't herds from you......
We gots nastee storms here coming....Mom is upsotted about twirleybirds in the air possibles....and boomers.
Oh I has no worrys about Simon, I am far too busy rearrajing the airya rugs and pruning plants to worry about mail. I think he is busy too wif all thos other cats to edukate and trane. to say nothing of guests whoo think they are entitled to hav the hole bed to themselfs. Our visiters no better, and we are willing to share as long as they don't take too much of our spays.
Waving to Simon!
Iris you knows I holds you in high esteem.You is, not only bootiful, but you is smart too.We have alls had a say to Jay man, about how he needs to respect us, and we sleeps where we wants.
I hopes yous sleep wonderfuls, Iris. Tomorrow, I goes to the vetspittle, and will have to stay over night, and will return thursday, a brand New Man.Wisshes me luckes. Simon
You alreddy gots lucky Simon, wif Uncle Mike taken care of you! Tell him the vet shood check your eyes too, cuz mine yoost to get reddish like that cuz I had a fekshun in them. now they are all better and wen mom cleanz them she alwaz uses a tishu. I hopoe you get a good nap wen they do yor operashun, and wake up feelin good.
SOUKY Meezer...is you over here flirtin with Simon, and rigts in fronts of me and Iris. You not sposed to be lookin at nobodys eyes but mine.
I spose I been neeglektin you, I am sorry. I shood be writin luv notes to you on our thred....but I am layzee...and Moms ADD is off the walls. If its bright and shiney, we loose her...bam, there she goes. haha
I am still kid sittin...I sat on him til mom yelled yesserday...then I tried to box him up and ship him somewhere....all the parts wooodn't fits in.
Simon, I knows you is at the vetspital....I iz a sayin a prayer for you, and feel yurrr pain....been there. Its for the best...you don't need any kiddens like this one around. And someone just dumped him and his sisssters when they was a few weeks old.
Fist pops to ya dude.....you de man.
Now Huck don't gets your tail all atwittled, I'm just eksprsing simpathy for poor little Simon on behaf of Iris whoo isn't to quick on the keybord. An I was asposed to sign that for Iris but I;m yoost to riting to you and made a misteak altho im ushyooly more akurit. Stay colm.
ROFL, I figureed that was sumthing like that dat happened. You womenfolks get konfused eazalee. I knows all about it kauz of mom with her ADD, thankfully she is more like a turtle or snail with ADD kauz she is gettin old and don't move too fast to have ADHD. Don't tell her I sayed that...I won't get treats.
And, since you brought it up...my twitterin tail is mauled. That little nittwitt seems to think me and Dex has tails only for his entertainment purpossess.
I am so sikk of the word "awwwwww" between him and the new yoooman baybeee comin over....its not rght.
I's don'ts want no responsiablities, so you knows I don'ts want any little kittes, at my responsibilites.I does hopes my operation will fix that, and I can live free, and wid th family, what I picked out.Dat way I can keeps having funs wid my Iris, and Huck, you will be some kind of BIL, or sometin lik dat. I guess what I trying to say is, we's all fambly. Simon