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Jokes & Humor: Dog's New Year's resolutions

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    Communities > Forums > Jokes & Humor
    Forum: Jokes & HumorReplies: 0, Views: 68
    AuthorContent

    flowAjen

    flowAjen
    central, NJ (Zone 6b)

    January 11, 2012 6:01 PM

    Post #8964061


    15. I will not eat other animals' poop.

    14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

    13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

    12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

    11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

    10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.

    9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.

    8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

    7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!

    6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.

    5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

    4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

    3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
    January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

    2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

    AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...

    1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND

    "From Joke of the Day"

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