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> Jokes & Humor
Germany (Zone 8a)
|I was in the town this morning when a Japanese man approached me.
"Please...Can you take?" he said, handing me a camera.
As he sat on the wall smiling, I got into a taxi and thought, "What a nice chap."
Went to the Camouflage Shop today, but couldn't find what I was looking for.
April Fool's Day: The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
My wife was furious with me the other day.
I put a stick in a non-stick pan.
I read in the paper that 25% of people are functionally illiterate.
Well, I say read, I kind of got the gist of it from the pictures & graphs.
I'm quite a heavy drinker.
I often have go to court to find out what happened.
I couldn't afford the iphone, so I bought earphones instead.
I think I'd better book my car in for a service.
The "Check Engine" light has stopped working.
I know a drug dealer who suffers from arthritis ...
He's got cracking joints!
Last night my wife said, „ You're the worst vegetarian ever“.
I almost choked on my steak.
I told my wife I loved her this morning...
I wonder if she knows what day it is?
I was eating my breakfast earlier, when the wife came down with a face like thunder.
"I can't believe you've forgotten my birthday AGAIN!" she screamed.
"Nice try Love," I replied, "but you really need to get some new April fools jokes, you try this one every year."
Every time my wife asks whether I notice anything different about her, I wish for a spontaneous zombie apocalypse to improve my chances of survival.
My girlfriend told me to get something to make her look sexy...
She wasnt happy... I came back drunk
The London Sunday Times this morning has a free pull out about a sinking ship...
I can't tell if it's referring to the Titanic or the Government!
I spoke to my Mum last week and she told me that she was so determined to avoid being conned by any April Fool's pranks that she had booked a holiday to Switzerland.
"Why Switzerland?" I asked.
"Well they have lovely mountain views", she replied, "And I've always wanted to go and visit the spaghetti plantations".
Finally got my Canadian history exam results back.. I got an EH
David Cameron "Immigration is essential for Britain to fill the less desirable roles in our society"
I didn't realise they had a national shortage of thieves, muggers, and murderers.
After planning the wedding for six months, the big day is here and I've only one regret...
I won't see her face when she gets the April Fools' text.
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