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Hello Felines, I have decided to throw my hat in the ring, and run for Prsident, on the Feline ticket, and run against Dubs the dog, who belongs to Dick Morris.Those of you who get Dick Morris lunch viedo, you know what I mean.Dubs is representing the K9 ticket, and will be a tough one to beat.The main reason for dat, is Dubs daddy is far more informed, than my daddy, but I'm the one running, not daddy.
I know some of you know me, and you know that I'm all Simeeser, and totaly run my house. Not only do i have charge of my house, but know where every thing belongs, and see to it that its in its place.
To have a meeser cat running the country might sound bad to the K9 party, but believe me the country will be in better hands
I am going to need a good campaign maniger, and even a vice Pres, to run wiff me.
Brovers, we can do it, and make this country, that we love, a better place to live. You all knows that Felines do not gets pushed.
Simon, of Struggleville, (a small subburbe of Danielsville).
Oh, Thank you my love, Iris. You will make the prettiest First Kitty in the US of A, and we will see to it that the stores stock the large bag of "Temptaions", my favorite treat. That is salmon flavored.
Us feline party has a big responsibility, where the country is concerned.We have, without a doubt, more homeless, and hungry, on the streets, than any other speciese.
Wiff all the wasted tax dollars, we could nuter, and feed all the homeless, and gain control of the "run-a-way" population.
One of the greatest problems with our country, is that humans don't want to know the problems. I will do all I can to make people care. I have experience with dat.
I am for vetspitles, at every shelter.Thats really needed.
Huck, I know I can count on you.Thank you, for your suport. Simon
Dis is Camou from the Finger Lakes in NYS. Ifs yous can promise us all Temptations on the counter we wants yous can get my vote too. I will get after my slugs of a brother Scotch, de lard butt to votes for you too. He is all about food. My adopted sister Stitches will do whatsever I tells her to do or elses I will give her a wack in the behinds. Girls yucks.
1-- me and my brodder Scotch, I's the big beautiful fluffy one.
2--me on de roof.
3--my adopted sister and Scotch's real sister, Stitches doing what she does best when she is not bringing chippies into de house. Oh, how we loves dose chippies.
Meow Wallingford, I would like to join the Nah-Nah Brotherhood of Manly Cats. I will ask my brother but as long as you don't make loud noises I am sure he will join too. I am the one that looks like a Maine Coon, my momma was a Himalayan and I don't know my dad. I had a half sister that I look just like. Her name was Ashes but one of the things with the 4 round things got her in front of our house 3 years ago.
Scotch and Stitches came here from the Virgin Islands. My slaves daughter lived there and found us as kittens. When she and her houseband moved to CA we came to live with Gramma and Grampa. It has been hard for them to keep warm but they are gettin better at it.
Thank you so much for the invite, I am not sure how often moms will let me on here. She spends a lot of times here.
Oh - and I have a sister and she saw your picture and thought you had beautiful eyes. She wants to know if you have a special lady in your life or if you are open to corresponding with a attractive *cough cough* mature lady.
Camou, and Scotch, so good to meets you. My daddy been through your area, over 1,000 island, and into Canada, (He can't remember the name of that old city, but he really enjoyed it).
I is so glad yous has met our King, Wallingford, he is a cool dude.
I thanks all yous for supporting me for President, and I likes chippies too. Ny brother, Baggy chases them till they are so out of breath, then lets them looses. He can hunt, but can't kill.
Tao, why do's you smell trouble ? I thinks ebberbody will be alright. Simon
Torrie, sorry To have missed you, in my reply, I will not over looks anybody. I was afraid you might think, I might be bashing women. No, not I.Wommens are very important on the issues, they keeps things strieght.
Torrie, would you concider being my secretary? I needs one. Simon
I be thinkin' all youse heethins are needin some spiritchool help...I has taken the veil and you may call me "Sista Kitty"...I'se even wearin' my reeligis klose and my new veil. You kin all genuflekt to me and I will heer yer konfeshins...all this politikal stuff is bound ta be on the shady side and ya'll gonna have tons to konfess...
"Sista Kitty", you looks lik Baggy did, when he gots loss under the crawl space of de house.
Its true dat politicks is dirty, but I wash in clean water, sted of muddy water, and I has to be honest, or my daddy will sure find me out. Now I knows dat confesson is good for de soul, but it always pays to stay fessed up.I thinks I'll add dat to ma platform too. Simon, of struggleville, your next President
Simon...I sneeked by my mom when she had the door open agin...mom is gettin old and slow and I'ze faster than her...ennyway, I goed down in the seller agin and waz up on the fernis pipes...I musta got'em all kleen yesterday kuz ther was nutti' on my whiskers when I sneeked by mom when she opened the door agin and I come back 'bove stairs. I tells ya, Simon...all that sneekin' round made me 'zausted and I had to have me a sunshine sleep.
Hey Felines, I needs more support.Time is winding low, and there is issues to tackle, baby kittens to kiss, and dirt to dig on my aponant, Dubs, only I can't find any.He is, after all, a modle pooch, and well, I'm a cat, and a meeser at that.
I do try to keep order, around here, after all, I reported Mitzi forknocking over daddy's shoe rack, and turning over the quilt rack, dat he made out of too narrow boards.Momma said that would happenDaddy told her that he didn't have any 2x12's, what ebber that is, and I better learn, cause Pres. need to know ebrething, or act lik they doez. Simon, Feline party Presidentuial candidate
Dont forgets that dogs is tail chasers...and nothing they can do with the dang thing when they catch it. SO, that said...cats don't chase tails unless there is
an issue with it. They chase mice...to rid the houwze and yard of vermin..
Hi Simon u handsum thing...Ize an older Suthern Lady. Ize in that Red Hat age group now. I nose how to vote.
I'm voting for Simon!! Come on all yoze lazy house cats lets vote fur Simon. "Simon, Simon, he's our cat, He'll do right and that is that!! " I like yer slowgun "Iris". Hope you git ta bee first kitty.
Iris, dis is mi favrit hat, butt I wood bee prowd fur u 2 borry it to ware for the inogerashun. I noes I coud git the Lady to puts a wite flour on it fur U. If she dont I'd mak a run line in does faincy hose she puts on her feet. Dont tell her dough.
I is gonna do the bestest job, for the feline world.We are just too "on top of things", to let dogs run the U.S.of A.
Cats are too loving, and honest, and a BIG improvment over what we got now.Maybe "His" dog should take over.Some time the furbies get more done, than hoomans.My hooin dad would gets a lot started, and be busy, as a bee, but not gettin much done.
I have my eye on three brovers, that I has to chose, for running mate. I hopes to makes the choice, by Sat., of this week.(Tigger, and Baggy, are out, and we already has one like Baggy in the WH now.)
I's been dooing some heart mercy thinking, and I gots the sitiation figured out.I has noticed that it only the smart people who creates all the problems in de world, and I has good news for all felines. I has nebber been acused of being too smart, and dat make me a better canidet.I can run on the "not so smart platform".
Thunk about it, has you met a stuffed shirt know-it all, that you could like, and call a friend? NO, and me nether.I campagn for salmon flavored "Temtations", and make it the national treat.
I is so proud of the fact that I is not a smart cat, that make ebberybody uneasy, and carry on stuffy conversations, and cause most of the worlds problems.I'm glad I'm not smart. Simon for President.
I gots a good idea for those that thinks they is soooo smart to be prezzident...let's all go eat something nasty...grass, mebbe, and then go hork on their shoes. They wood all sez that we be dumb kitties...wa-la...Simon can be prezzident cuz he not be smart. Bwhahahahaha...isn't dat too funny? Ya know, I figger the problem iz that hoomans thinks too much. Not sleepin' in sunpuddles and wantin' snuggly time with their furpursens...alwez gotta be doin' sumpin...no time ta just "be".
Dats a nutter thing, you gives me ideas, Huck. anotter of my campagn promices, is for all humans to grow cat ni[p. That will help the tensions, and cause less stress, and we all have better out look on issues, what confronts us. I would be de most lay back pres, what ebber been seen. Humans would say; Hey Simon, yo sore is a good President, and ebber body loves you.
Den I will need to bring peaces in all the countrys in the world. Now I knows dat there some peoples who don't wants to lik anybiody else, and even kick peoples, cause day trying to be mean. I would have no problem sending Baggy there, to trip some of those kind of people. Baggy don't has problemns wid peoples, he just walks under them, and they trips, cause he be where dare foot be. For long, peoples will has more respect, and soon de world will get along wiff each udder.Friends can be made in strange ways. I'm on a feline roll, and Dubs better watch out, cause Simon is campaigning, wiff de help of all his DG friends.
All dis campaigning and too much reading de news knocks me outs. Simon
Ohhh no, hoomane sosiety is NOT kweshitionable...they is honorable. Them kitties and dogs come with MORE love and unnerstanding...along with strays...than any others on this errth. They is what you call grapefull...
Oh, and I IS totally grapefull for my hooman mummy and dad...they loves me SO much, and I don't even skratch my mummy when she calls me Pipsie. I mean, that is just too joovinil, but I loves my forevver home here, so I lets her call me Pipsie. Dad sumtimz calls me "da Pipster"...dat not so bad, kinda gives me a gangsta sound.
Simon saze; dar be so much good in de worst of us, and so much bad in de best of us, dat poo on de restof us, what say anythong abouts any of us.Come on peoples, we be Cats ! Simon, and don'ts forgets to vote
Hey dar brover Camou, hopes one of dem "Finger" lakes don'ts grab you, and takes you under.I has,(we) has been missing you.Hopes you still conciders me for de President, I sore needs all three of yo votes.
Let us, ooh, X squess me, I don'ts lik lettus, disreguard, as day say in polysticks, All gets involved wiff de most importaniest E lection ebber.
Simon says; Better a few treats, in loves, dan a yard full of chippie monks, wid strife.
Simons, sorry I has not been around. Moms is stingy with the puter. We three iz recovering from an offuls day yesterday. Moms and Dads big boy and wifey was here with their new dog. Offuls slobbery, wild, stoooopid and such a dog! He scares me and Scotch somethings terrible. He's de replacement dog for their other one that went to doggie heaven. For a dog the old one was not bad buts still a dog.
Moms is nots sure about dis one either. First time here he widdled in de house on her bookcase and den barked and barked till moms called her son to comes and get him. Dhey was doggie sittin him.
We three is behind you Simon all the way.
Simon Simon he is our Cat on hims we will hangs our hat!!!
Ooh Camou, yo has a nice fire box.We all love ours, and daddy said dat he need to get the chimny cleaned.Daddy use to do dat, so easy, den lost his ballance, and doesn't feel safe on the roof, though he did las ear, and momma nagged him, till he say he will jumps off de roof.
All us likes de fire box, and sleeps near it.Daddy afraid we will get cooked.
Thanks for your vote, and we will be working hard. Simon
Dear Daisy may, Tigger saved my complete sanity this evening, as the chickens were finding their spot.
I hears this noise, lik I nebber has heard, and here is this thing, dat can climb, and eat de leaves from de vines, and it was all streached out.I frize, I axk Tigger if he ebber seen sompin lik dat.He told me he had, but wasn
't sure what they do.I axked Tigger, if it was the thing, what was commin on de earth, to bring abouts the end of time.After all, it had horns comming out of itys head, and it was white all ober.I has heard daddy telling momma abouts this beast, in de black book, dat daddy takes to church, and dat it comming on de earth.
Tigger told me dat he had heard tell of de things in de Bible Book, dat daddy read, and said dat daddy not to worried, about what comming. Daddy said he was more in to living, lik he should, and all dat the word "Beast " is, would mean "living creature". I's told Tigger dat I don'ts know about no creature, and he said, dat daddy, momma, he, and I were all creatures. I said about what kind of creature is eating up ebber thang. Tigger said it was the neighbors goat, dat gots out, and nots worrie. I sure is glad Dat Tigger's not too smart too. I axk Baggy, and he said it looks lik dat creature too. I still running for Pres., and desire your votes.
De Great Creator sore must has a sence of humer, tos make goats. Simon
Me, me...(waving paw wildly)...puleeze let me be your publissity pussycat! My mummy kin helps me rite up stuff an' make up posters...My mummy has had lots of 'sperience riting stuff. Oh, mebbe I should asks...kin hoomans help?
I thoughts dat cats controled the thoughts of humans. Sure, Pip, yous sounds lik a real good publessiness. My daddy really thinks I should be de president, cause I controls ebber thing in de house. Simon
Does they need a publissity deebate? Kin I 'range one?...mebbe we kin git one of the gurrl kitties to keeps them frum slingin' the litter all over when they is makin' their intenshuns known for vice-kitty.
Well, we is cats, and have much more mannerz than those hoomans does for campain ishues...we is sivvilized and way above litter-slingin'...an' we iz better than dogs cz we don't go sniffin' butts either.
Yucks ! We don'ts send our messages by car ( Tire ) either.Its equilly gross, when de reciever get de message.
Yous should see Baggy out side, wiff daddy.Baggy loves daddy, and is jelious of any body, what looks at him.I, or maybe it was Tigger, reported a " Bad " RIR chicken, dat beat up the new rooster, and made him run hide, so daddy puts her outs, and named her Mayble Murfy, and she been outs, and at the time, daddy didn't care whats happening to her.She the one what beat up Baggy.Now Mable loves daddy, and sits wiff him, on the bench.Baggy sit on de other side of daddy, and momma say we needs a poicture of dat.
All dis is annutter reasons why I's make good President, cause I gros's up in dis family, and how many families goes gets de paper, on a 4 wheeler, wiff a chicken ridding it, wiff daddy ? Dats uses, Simon
Mark Twain says its best, "Close makes the man, cause naked peoples has very little influence on society ".
I still is ready for any debates yous has. I won out on treat demands this morning, wiff daddy. I knows Tigger gets more treats, cause he, and daddy has this special conection, and besides, Tigger is bigger than anyone.I just can't sees him as a feral.
Simon for President
Ohhhh...Simon, so's that Twainie guy is sayin' fer us..."fur makes the catz, but nobody is gonna votes for nekkid kitties?" Jist don't find yerself a Sphinx cat for vice prezzident...ooooo...that is WAY skarey. Course he couldn't hide nuttin' underneath, could he? Wood be hard fer me to make publissity for a nekkid kitty running mate...
Your on, Huck, does we starts today, or tmorrow?
I has sampled all the treats, and Its "Temtations ", salmon flavor.
We eats the best food for our conditions. No mousers, or birdies.
Our food is prepaired, thank you very much. Simon
Well, tooday Mom had to take my liddle brudder Axel to the vetspital. AND...they had a food diskussion also. (besides the fact he needs a diet)
and the VetDoctor told Mom that he needs...more moist food...and more water in his food/diet. That him has crystals in his bladder/urine and it is causing
SO, we gots a vote here for more soft food. HOWEVERs, 3 of us feelines here...is allergic to fish. We eat salmon or tuna treats...and we accck all over
the place. What the heck is that for a cat!!!
Huck - me and Sampson have crystal issues, too sometimes. My moms buys us EVO canned food because it comes in BIG cans and has no grains. She buys a case at a time and there are four kinds and none of them have fish. (Drat) Then she makes us a little gravy in our bowls so we gets more water. --Wallingford
Wallingford Dude, thank you for that info...Mom will be gratededful. Does she orders it online or at a store...and does the four kinds come in one case or do you has to buy one case ats a time. We refuse to eats the same food ebberyday or we accck and snub mom. We is speshal.
Huck, Brother Dude. She has bought it online and she can get it froms the pet store, too. The kinds are Duck (which she says is too spensive xcept when she has a coupon), Venison, Beefs and Chicken and Turkey and 13.2 oz in a can. Once she ordered lots of mixed cases and she bought so many they sent whole case of each to make the mix. Hahaha! When Sampson and I had crystals last month she gave us Methigel in our foods to acidify our urine instead of buying Rx foods. It worked very good, too. Takes about a month of pH 6.0 - 6.5 to get rid of the crystals.
I thinks my M&D needs an education.Our vet wants uses on can food, but M&D still buys the purina complete, and lately are buying the (Indoor cat ) type foods.We seems to lik the purina indoor cat food, cause we keeps the feed bowls empty.
I wants ebber body to know that I Don't lik Baths. I thinks I'll do away wid baths, when I make President. My momma was complainning abouts how bad I smelled yesteraday.
My M&D had some patoes go bad, and theys were getting too close to our food station. When I wants dem to know a need, I does ebber thing I can to call their attention to it, so I pulled those bad potaters out in the floor, and in doing it I got the smell all over me Momma tried to wipe me off wiff baby wipes, and I smelled worse, and I'm getting mad.Momma says " Daddy, you'll Have to give him a bath " Daddy knew he would need plenty of space to give me my first bath, so he puts warm water in the tub. He, and I both gots a bath, but he is lik that sreik fellow what goes around wiff that little donkey, dat He Gave me a Scrubbing, and dryed me off. I backed up in dat tub, and hissed, and gave my best bob cat call, but I was clean.You couldn't has rubbed your thumb anywhere on me, that didn't squeek. Dignity, i needs dignity. Simon
Simon, we kants have a stinky Purresident...and you might get the women folks vote ifn' you smells better and look spiffy.
Tell Unka Mike that male cats especially need that extra moisture in their food, and the wet food does that. Mom gives us each a can in the morning and a can at night...and leaves a pan of dry food out we can snack on when needed. We boys tend to get crystals and have urine issues sometimes. Mom gets the big box of friskies soft food...the shredded meats in the purple carry box...NOT the PATE' oh no...we don't like that. BUT you guys might. It is $14.50 for 32 cans at Wallyworld.
Its rayning out...and Mom sayz HUCK get to bed. So guess I gotta turn the lights out on my way up again.
Simon, Huck is right that all cats should have wet food to eat. Dry food is hard to digest because it takes water to make it soft enough to process in our tummies and us cats aren't big water drinkers. Dry foods also makes us fat because they are full of things that aren't meat and we are meat eaters! Roar!
My mom was told to give me dry food when i was a wee baby because it was good for my teef an had fibers for system. Well for 10 years of frustration mom found out that if I had softer food maybe with punkins, I would have less problems with my dijestion and it has worked. I am a better disposition kitty my mom says. I guess she is right, I don't avoid my litter box any more.
Our president must take baths!.
Felines, I must be a good negocator, cause we ate soft food today.Daddy wonders if he will have to shovel the litter more now. What ebber he means by dat, I not to patient wiff hooman talk, but the better we's understands it, de better we gets along w/ our hoomans
Us cats at strugglevill likes the can foods.Daddy opened a can, and said shoo, that stinks, but we were already circling de bowls.We is sold on the ( Healthier ) food, and likes it a lots. We haven't decided on feeding Baggy, (outdoor cat), this caned foods just yet.We needs input on dat too. Keeps in mind dat Baggy will eat foods dat he catch, and ebber thing will stay down, but the shrews.He ack den up.
Yous heard, " if it ain't broke, don't fix it ". Well guess what dumb daddy did. He takes me to the , just because she called, and said I was due.Due what ? I is healthy, and doing fine, but he tricks me, and takes me to be violated by the vet Two shots, invaded my back end, Hold my mouth wide open, I tell you a guy has a most difficlt time. Do you really think that I'm gonna respond to, " Come here Simon "If you does yous got real problems. Simon, still running for President.
Simon dude, sorry about the vetspital trip...but if'n you is gonna be puuresident...you gotta be healthy and you gotta kiss kiddens and everything. SO, you needs your shots. Heven forbits you get a viral from an uggly kitten you had to kiss.
Goshes, don't know what to say about Baggy. It wouldn't hurt him to have some of the soft food...its got vitamins and good stuffs to help keeps him healthy. Does he eats hard foods outside too...or just what he catches? That can give him parasites...eatin outside critters.
Simon, the hooman prezzident gots to have vet chex, so it is jist anuther one of dem tings you gots to suffer thru. Hmmm...wonder if they invades HIS back end too???? Jist tinkin' of dat makes me howl-meow and teary...jist tooooo funny, eh???
Aunt Debbie, I is gonna be the cleanest, best president yous has ebber seen, and I is gonna keeps tradition, buts drop litter slinging.We has enough of dat, in de world. Yes, Baggy eats purina complete, and loves it. A bowl full will keeps him going 24 hours, unless the neighbors dirty dog comes, no, sneeks over, and eates his food.He love to hunt, but we are not sure of all he eat, and I mean what he catches.
Pip, you is such a comedean, yous keeps our sides hurting, from laughing.I woods love to see that discusting site, and how many it take to hold him.
I is expecting a nice day here, and the temp a norm, but my heart goes way outs for all dat water has messed up. Hooman, and pets.
Simon sez; there are " Ants ", and da are " Grasshoopers ", in this hear world, buts best of all worlds is Cats, and I are glad I is one. Simond
Thank you Huck, you are a very patriotic cat, and I know you will be a big asset.Too many politicians reverse the word asset, and that puts them sitting on their ---.
We have been hearing some very upsotting news, as to what some hoomans have done, and their life is ruined, not to mention the inocent victom.
Huck, does you thinks we can show more peoples the kind of love, dat would make dem never to do bad things to less fortunant. My daddy say he was born too late, whatever dat means. I still believe love changes ebber thing. Take Mitzi. She neber had anything to do wiff the other cats, but when I's gots there, I made her so mad, cause I showed her love, and she would hiss, and growl, but now she lik anyother cat, and dats from showing love. Simon
Pip...we iz a running against the dog akrosst the street from Simon I beeleve.
Simon, my Mom ...aka Aunt Debbie...tells them yooman kids something. And I think this mights applies to you and Unka Mikes "too late" statement.
Mom said there is a story about starfish...being washed up on the beach. And a little girl was walking downs the beech...throwing all the starfish she could back
in that water to save them.
Some nasty little boy comes along and says "YOU are so stoooopid...you can't make a difference to them".
The little girl picked up another starfish and threw it back in the water and said "I made a difference to that one...and that one...and that one" as she continued to save what she could...one at a time.
SO...it is never ever too lates. For every one you help...today is a new day...and if you goof up today...tomorrow is a new day to try again.
Mom tells them kids...if'n they did something wrong...acknowledge it...learn from it...and next time make a better choice...and start new.
I haz to go to bed...Moms put my snack out and I haz to go snuggles with her.
Pip, the idea is; Showing love to whats in athority to you, ( peoples ), den day shows kindness in returns. I guess I's could say, Love is contagious, and hopefully it will keeps on giving. Yes, my opponete is a DAWG. Somewhat smarter than the average, but we is talking Dawg. Simon
Huck, ifen this post get too big, please gos to a smaller post, so's dem on dial-up can keeps up. Thanks, VP. Simon
Mummy and Daddy sez we gets food once a day, and that is during the dark-time before hoomans goes to bed. Well, it not THAT late, Daddy sez when we does our meow-dance "yew jist wait a bit, it's not dark out yet". So, we iz all happy cats and have lots of time to sleep in the sun puddles and on the fernitcher when we doesn't have to waste time eating till dark-time. So, we don't bother complainin' cuz we knows it not gonna work.
We gets fed twice...kauz there is too many of us. WE gets fed first thing in the morning...then before Mom goes to bed so we haz full bellies and sleeps better.
1/2 can each in morning and at night...and...we gets our dry food down all day to snack for those of us who like that nasty stuff...which I don't.
Pip yous looks lik a fella, dat has a mind, and when its set, It's sot !!
Yes, yous de kinda cat ebber body needs to associates wiff. Hard to pull one over on The Pipster.
We will all needs to hears dem ishews. You, and your dad, reminds me of our dad, and Baggy. Day sits on a bucket, and Baggy fills Daddy, wiff our needs. From Baggy's view point, of coarse.
Da Pipster heer...Da Dawg has lost hiz bid for the prezzidensy. The Simon/Huck prezedenshil is bound for the Cat-House. Three big Meows for Simon and Huck!!! MEOW, MEOW, MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, Kitty an' Candy, my girl-housemates, sez Yay for Simon and Huck too. They hopes there is kitty treets for all.
Simon sayz, Dog what lives with a bunch of cats---Live lik termite in yo yo.
Ofcorce Izzy is a good dog, and has lived with all you, and what did yo feel about gettin her to do the things dat cats lik, and leaves the dog in an incomplete feeling. Really dudes, we needs to concider the emotions, and well beings of our adopted bros, and sistas. Simon