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Jokes & Humor: Vocabulary!!!

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singleyellowros
Kittanning, PA

November 29, 2001
1:35 AM

Post #18719

FINE

This is the word we use at the end of any argument
that we feel we are right about
but need to shut you up. NEVER use
fine to describe how a woman looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the
five minutes that your football game is going
to last before you take out the trash,
so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means something and you should be
on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used
to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting
to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and
end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want
because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow
"Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you
in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is still
often a verbal statement very misunderstood
by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you
are an idiot at that moment and wonders why
she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over
"Nothing".

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement.
"Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that
some men actually understand. She is content.
Your best bet is to not move or breathe and
she will stay content.

OH

This word followed by any statement is trouble.
Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or,
"Oh, I talked to him about what
you were doing last night". If she says "Oh"
before a statement, run, do not walk,
to the nearest exit.
She will tell you that she is "Fine"
when she is done tossing your clothes
out the window, but do not expect her
to talk to you for at least 2 days.

Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies
that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie
more to get out of it, or you will get
raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so
unspeakable that I can't bring myself to
write about them.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements
that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay"
means that she wants to think long and hard
before paying you retributions for what
ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay"
is often used with the word "Fine" and
used in conjunction with a raised
eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the
near future when she has plotted and planned,
you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer.
A woman is giving you the chance to come up
with whatever excuse or reason you
have for doing whatever it is that you
have done. You have a fair chance to
tell the truth, so be careful and you
shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint,
just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different than "Thanks".
A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
when she is really ticked off at you. It
signifies that you have hurt her in
some callous way, and will be followed
by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask
what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh",
as she will only tell you...

"Nothing"


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