Just a little smile!

Valley Head, WV(Zone 5a)

Living on a farm in rural West Virginia many of our out of state friends and relatives tease us about livng in red neck country - all good naturedly of course. Me - I think they are strange for living in the big cities!

Here's a bit of that red neck humor:
A hill country red neck passed away and his wife goes into the small town newspaper to place his obituary.
>
The guy at the newspaper tells her it will cost fifty cents a word for the notice.
>
>She thinks for a few minutes and tells him to make it "Billy Bob Died".
>
>The newspaper guy then informs here that there is a seven word minimum.
>
>She deliberates a few moments longer and then tells him to make it:

"Billy Bob Died - 1983 Pickup For Sale"

Hope this brought a bit of a smile to your day!

Batchelor, LA(Zone 8b)

Mamakane
With a few minor changes, your story could easily be
about Boudreaux et famile, Cajuns extraordinaire.
More!
Bud

Brewers, KY(Zone 6b)

Love it momkane! You can tell Billy Bob's and I'll tell Boudreaux's (jokes that is) thanks for the smile. Bye! Lisa

Brewers, KY(Zone 6b)

Here is another smile for today: One time, ol' Thibedeaux (tib-eh-doe) had a Bar-B-Q in the back of his house. Well, ol' Broussard (broo-sard) saw one of Thibedeaux's children running around with a real strange outfit. Broussard said "Hey, Thibedeaux, wot dat yor baby got on hisself?" Thibedeaux said "Man, dats a Pampers, cher (shah)!" Broussard said "Wot you mean a Pampers?" Thibedeaux said "It's like a diaper, but you don' got to wash it, you don' got to fol' it - you jus' tro'ed it away." Broussard said "WHOO MAN! I need ta gots me some o' dem Pampers!"

The next weekend, ol' Broussard was having a crawfish boil in the back of his house. Thibedeaux said "Whoo man, looks like you gots some a dem Pampers on yor babies!" Broussard said "Yeh, I love dem Pampers, cher. You don' gots to wash 'em, you don' gots to fol' 'em, you jus' tro'ed 'em away."

Thibedeaux said "Wall den, you need to change dat Pampers on dat little Pierre." Broussard said "No I don'." Thibedeaux said "An yes you do!" Broussard went and picked up Pierre and shook him a little and again said "No, I don'!"

Thibedeaux said "Look at dat! He got de shoo-shoo come out de back o' de Pampers. He got de shoo-shoo come out de front o' de Pampers. He got de shoo-shoo run all down his legs! Man, WHY you not change dat pampers?" Broussard said "CAUSE! De box says its good for 18 to 23 pounds!"

Chelsea, AL(Zone 7B)

Did yall know that the federal govment is banning the round bails of hay and going back to the sqaure ones.

They think the animals aint getting a square meal.

(Zone 6a)

YOU KNOW YOUR FROM ILLINIOIS IF;
1. You've never met any celebrities.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
3. "Vacation" means going to Six Flags.
4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
5. You measure distance in minutes.
6. You know several people who have hit a deer.
7. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
8. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
9. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
10. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
11. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
12. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
13. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
14. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
15. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
16. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
18. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
19. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
20. You carry jumper cables in your car.
21. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
22. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
23. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
24. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
25. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
26. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
27. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
28. You think that deer season is a national holiday.
29. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
30. You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
31. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
32. You know if another Illinois is from southern, middle or northern Illinois as soon as they open their mouth.
33. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

southeast, NE

Some of these may apply to you even if you're not from Nebraska. (I don't admit to the football crazies)

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM NEBRASKA IF...

During a storm, you check the cattle before you check the kids.

You are related to more than half the town.

You can tell the difference between a cow and a horse from a distance.

You don't put too much effort into a hairstyle due to the weather.

Your quarterback is hurt and it is the top story on the six o'clock news.

You use your inheritance to attend the Nebraska-Colorado game.

You can wear red and white overalls in public without being embarrassed.

There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for the tornado.

The local convenience store sells live bait.

You keep track of the grain and hog futures on the radio.

You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.

You go to the State Fair for your only vacation.

You get up at 5:30 A.M. and go to the coffee shop, where the waitress never asks what you would like. She already knows.

You are on a first name basis with the county sheriff.

Little smokies are something you serve only on special occasions.

You have the number of the Coop feed store on speed dial.

You know what the "Sea of Red and White" is.

All your radio preset buttons are country-western stations.

ALL the radio stations are country-western stations.

You think that using the elevator involves a corn truck.

Your mayor is also the doctor, barber, and/or dentist.

You can drive 80 mph on a two-lane dirt road with one hand, but driving 45 mph on a four-lane expressway in a city scares you to death.

You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

You call the wrong number by mistake and end up talking for an hour anyway.

Your excuse for being late for school is that the cows got out.

You know cow pies are not made of beef.

Your early morning prayer includes rain, cattle, and all the injured football players.

You aren't surprised when the Huskers are scheduled to play Iowa Deaf and Blind in the fourth game of the season, but you're upset when the score is 82-0 and you don't go up in the national ratings.

You use manure on your grass instead of Weed and Feed.

You listen to "Paul Harvey" everyday at noon.

Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.

You leave your snow tires on year-round.

You know the difference between feed corn and sweet corn... while it's still on the stalk.

You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.

Football schedules are consulted before choosing a wedding date.

You don't clean up a dog's mess because it's just fertilizer.

You wear cowboy boots to church.

You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays (before the Sunday drivers come out).

It takes 30 seconds to drive clear across town.

You can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feedlot.

True love means you'll ride on the tractor with him.

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