Dave's Garden - Gardening Community
Sponsored Links: Winter Landscaping - Gardeners Supply - Mail Order Plants - Flowering Bulbs - Landscape Design - Plant Nurseries Mail Order

Jokes & Humor: House Cleaning Hints for Busy Gardeners

Ace - The helpful place

Click Here

  Welcome!  
You've found the famous Dave's Garden website! Join this friendly global community that shares tips and ideas for home and gardens, along with seeds and plants!

Check out the DG homepage for a brief overview of what you'll find in this gardening mega-site.

  Login  
If you don't have an account yet, visit the registration page to sign up.

Username:

Password:

Forum: Jokes & HumorReplies: 1, Views: 126
Print -
AuthorContent
Wandasflowers
Cedar Rapids, IA
(Zone 5a)

September 22, 2003
11:42 AM

Post #657212

Helpful HintsHandy cleaning tips (Sounds like good advice to me!)

Dirt Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.

Cobwebs: Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What? And spoil
the mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them & call them Halloween decorations.)

Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.)

Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the doorknob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see
our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes."

General Cleaning: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere."

As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean... Works every time.

Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck, always keep several get well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've been sick and unable to clean.

This thread has one reply. This forum is accessible only to subscribing members of Dave's Garden. There are many free features here, and about half of our forums are completely open to all members. Take a tour of our site and learn more about Dave's Garden, and explore the benefits of becoming a subscribing member.

Want to join? Register here. Already signed up? Click here to login!

Other Jokes & Humor Threads you might be interested in:

SubjectThread StarterRepliesLast Post
been wanting to tell this for a long time! justmeLisa 9 May 31, 2007 12:33 PM
What's the strangest thing that happened to you. Georgiaredclay 24 Oct 13, 2008 8:17 AM
Bumper Stickers For Women!!! singleyellowros 7 Oct 23, 2009 11:38 AM
The Folks of DG mystic 83 Jan 17, 2008 7:22 PM
Old Weather sayings..... roadrunner 21 Sep 30, 2007 3:03 PM


We recommend Firefox
Overwhelmed? There's a lot to see here. Try starting at our homepage.

[ Home | About | Advertise | Mission | Acceptable Use Policy | Tour | Privacy Policy | Contact Us ]

Back to the top

Copyright © 2000-2009 Dave's Garden. All Rights Reserved.
 

NameMedia Home and Gardens
Share on FacebookShare on Stumbleupon

Hope for America