I was inspired by a post in the "compliments" thread on this forum " [ I don't get compliments, but I do get comments of marvel like, "Oh my gorsh, it bounced 4' off the floor!"
It was supposed to be a recipe for Chilis Relenos. Waddaya think I did wrong?]"
I can remember a couple of kitchen catastrophes that are worth mentioning and I'm sure I'm not the only one. When I was in my early teens I came across a recipe in the local newspaper for "Sqaw Bread". I think somebody was trying to duplicate the reservation favorite "Fry Bread" and got it wrong. Anyhow, I followed the recipe and put these little balls of dough into hot oil. I wasn't aware of any problem even though I could hear a couple of my brothers yellling in the background. Finally I heard something whiz by my ear and realized that these little balls were exploding out of the pan and flying through the kitchen. My brothers re-named them "Cannonballs".
We had one of those hoods over the stove and it tended to be kind of dark over the burners because of that. Once I was cooking something and thought to myself "Gee, it seems kind of lighter here than usual" ---- totally oblivious to the fact that I was holding a flaming pot holder in one hand.
The absolute prize for kitchen mishaps in my family is held by my mother. I was probably about twelve years old at the time. My mother had thrown a dish towel over her shoulder and walked by the stove where a burner was lit. The dish towel caught on fire, but she didn't know it. I can't remember whether it was me or one of my brothers who sounded the alarm. I really can't remember where this quote came from, though I remember my father quoting it from time to time "When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!" That's exactly what my mother did when alerted by one of us. Unfortunately, as she ran in the required circles, she passed by one of my brothers and the flaming dish towel singed all the hair on the top of his head as he was exactly the right height for it.
C'mon, I'm sure I'm not the only one with stories like these to share.
My first incident was when I was about 10 and decided to surprise Mom with homemade biscuits. I "faked" it with the recipe cause I had watched Mom so many times I knew what to do. Since I couldn't reach the baking pan, I put them in a cast iron skillet and put them in the oven. When they were done, I couldn't lift the skillet out of the oven it was so heavy. Mom put them on the table for dinner, and no one could even make a dent in them with their teeth they were so hard! My Uncle, who saved me, said "Debbie, these are the most awesome paperweights I have ever seen, taking one home for my desk!" And he did! I don't think it ever decayed!
My second comes from my first attempt making a birthday cake totally by myself. I was 19 and it was my ex DH's 21st birthday. He was in the service and I wanted to surprise him. Well I sure did! Don't know what I did wrong, but there was cake on the ceiling, walls, and cabinets...it exploded! It was a simple chocolate cake! I gave up baking for several years after that!
And now, the most humiliating and the one the family loves to tell the most. My family likes tuna cassarole, so I was making it for them. I "inadvertantly" forgot the tuna. So, we were eating and all the sudden my son, who was about 8...said Mom, there is no tuna in this? So to hide my embarrasment, I said "its tuna surprise, surprise, no tuna!" Well DH knew I had forgot it, the can was out on the counter! So, next time I had it on the dinner menu, DH got really smart and made up about 50 post it notes, put them in the fridge, cabinets, medicine cabinet, front of the TV...you name it DON'T FORGET THE TUNA! Well, I said haha, funny funny! He put two cans of tuna on the counter with big signs on them and all fun! Well, the day was hectic, I was running and getting salads and all ready, put the meal on the table...and guess what? Yep, I forgot the tuna AGAIN! I thought I would fall off the chair, and to this day, about 5 years later, have not lived it down. My daughter has taken over making the tuna cassarole!
THere are many more, but this should give you a few chuckles for now.
Thanks for sharing! I was beginning to think that I was the only one who'd had this kind of experience (or at least the only one who would admit it).
Hope you don't mind that I did get "a few chuckles" out of it --- and showed it to my Mom for good measure. I've got to say that I can't imagine how you did it either, but I loved the exploding cake! What a secret weapon! I can just imagine that on an episode of "Get Smart" or even James Bond.
Okay, my day to day life lately seems like a comic strip but since I don't do the cooking much anymore I am having to pull from the memory banks. My biggest mishap was when I was 8 and it was my best friends mom's birthday. She was like a second mom to me and we wanted it to be extra special. I walked to the store and bought the supplies at 8 in the morning, went to house and started cooking. I followed the recipe to the letter except for the size of pan to put it in. The box said sheet pan, so the only thing I could find at the store that said sheet on it was a cookie sheet. Yup, I made a cake on a cookie sheet, within 15 of placing it in the oven the whole house was full of smoke and smoke alarms blaring. My friends mom WAS asleep, and we all made it out to the yard in time for the fire department to pull up. It was a running joke that I am not allowed near the stove in her house for many years.
The one other one that comes to mind was only a few years ago. I was making Rice a Roni and trying to get dinner together quickly. I really wasnt looking at what I was grabbing from the frig when reaching for the butter to brown the rice. I thought it melted funny but really wasn't paying to close attention. I served the kids and DH and finished up what I was doing and sat down. The kids just stared at me as I took my first bite. I spit it out all over the place. DH said Thank God and the kids just screamed. I had grabbed the new squeeze mustard instead of the butter.
Oh and DD gave me the permission to tell you about her mishap. She wanted to surprise my mother and make spagetti. She did an awesome job on the sauce after follow my directions step by step, but unfortunately she didn't ask how to make the pasta. She filled up the pot with cold water, added a pinch of salt and a drop of butter to the water and then added the spagetti. By the time the mixture reached a boil she had a pot full of doughy mush. Laughing at her for this one is my revenge for the giggles about the rice a roni.
Okay McCool ... you asked for it. LOL I couldn't cook a lick when I got married and I was 19. Had to learn all on my own. I lived out of town from my Mother and that was before cell phones so I couldn't afford to call every time I had a question. wouldn't call my DMIL either. that would have been too embarrissing. ;)
Anyway, one of the worse things I've ever done was the time I wanted to make salmon patties. Now I had a recipe from the back of the Crisco can. All the ingredients were listed ... and the last one was *naturally* Crisco. So, I measured each ingredient very carefully ... adding the Crisco last just like it said. Needless to say they were a *bit* greasy. hehehe That was what you were to cook them in. LOL LOL
The next *really* horrid thing I did was the ham casserole. Now this was Mama's wonderful casserole for using left over ham. The first ingredient on this was 1 sqant cup uncooked macarroni. She listed all the ingredients like any recipe. then underneath had ... Directions. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, she *never* told me to cook the macarroni. Hmmm, have you ever tried eating a casserole with macarroni that has been baked in it raw? I don't advise it. :) I'm like Debbie ... there's plenty more, but I really think we should laugh at someone else now. LOL
It was the first summer of our marriage, I was 18 years old my husband 23. His mother had given me a beautiful large, antique crystal pitcher that she wanted to have for ice tea. She told me how to make it, first boil water to make tea, then make a syrup with water and sugar. As I poured the syrup in the pitcher about to add the tea when the pitcher cracked and broke into many pieces, flying all over the kitchen floor, as I turned in dismay I slipped on the syrupy kitchen floor, fell flat on my stomach and could not get up for I kept on slipping and ended up cutting myself, fortuntely not badly.
What a mess I had to clean up, not just the floor but myself too. There was no ice tea with mint that hot summer day for my husband thar evening!
His mother said to me later, I should have told you to put a silver spoon into the pitcher before you pour boiling any thing in it.
I can think of more funny happenings in my kitchenI. Will tell another time.
Our memorable disaster was part kitchen and part other. I have a vague recollection of having told it here somewhere else, but can't find it and the search engine isn't working. So, if you've already heard this story, just scroll on.
It was summer of 1970. We'd had a heat wave which had just broken and we invited friends over to dinner.
Those of you who were around in those days may remember wine bottles which had an ice cavity in them. You could buy just the bottles, or you could buy a wine which was packaged that way. We did the latter. It was also a time in which pump wine openers were very popular - you inserted a needle through the cork and then pumped in air until the cork came out.
Well, with a relatively cooler day, I spent much of the day making enchiladas including tortillas from scratch. Somewhere close to dinner, I ran out to the grocery store for something, leaving DH to watch dinner. (Closest grocery store in those days was about 6 or 7 km away). While there, my old Studebaker decided not to start for the trip home. I called DH to rescue me with his pride and joy - a 1965 Porsche 356C Cabriolet (which we still have in original condition).
Disaster #1 - he didn't turn the stove off under the dinner.
We got home.
Disaster #2: In those days we had just a carport, rather than a garage. He let me off to discover the burnt dinner and then proceeded to roll the car back in the carport. This he did with the driver's door open. When he got back as far as he wanted to go, he reached for the brake but got the clutch instead. He ended up hitting the carport pillar with the car door, knocking it off it's base. He got out, assessed the damage and closed the car door (which looked OK) only to find it had been sprung just enough that it wouldn't open again. And he also had to deal with jacking up the pillar to get it back on its base.
Well he did that and the friends came - I have no idea what we fed them but we found something. Then,
Disaster #3 - when we tried to open that bottle of wine. You've probably already pieced together what happened. Bottles like that have areas of thinner glass unlike regular bottles, and long before the cork came out, the bottle exploded all over the dining room. We found bits of glass and remnants of that wine when we took out the wall between the dining room and kitchen 21 years later.
Somehow, we all survived it. The local Porsche shop was able to get the door open and put a shim in which made it work. And as I mentioned, we still have the car. Don't remember what we ate, but we are still friends with those people tho they now winter in Mexico and summer at their cottage, having sold their house which was a couple of blocks away.
This one goes back 25 years... when I was first married, and living in an apartment, we had over the now ex's Dad and step - Mom for dinner. First time I was going to cook for them. My mother makes really great pies, and I learned how to make a good pie from her - so I thought making a good old fashioned apple pie would really impress them. The rest of the dinner prep went well. I took the pie out of the oven shortly after they arrived. His step-mom was not a very good cook, and they were really looking forward to the pie after they smelled it baking. I knew when I took it out of the oven something did not look right.
After dinner, I cut the pie - and it seemed harder to cut than normal. I went to lift the piece out of the pan, and could not get the spatula between the pie crust and the pan. I tried and tried.
It finally struck me that I was so nervous about them coming to dinner - before putting the apples etc. in the pieshell... I had pricked the crust all over with a fork, as if I was going to bake it empty !! So all the sugar and good stuff had run out of the pie through all those holes, and down between the crust and the pieplate, cementing the crust to the pieplate. We ended up scooping out the apples and top crust, and joking about it being apple cobbler instead. They never let me live that one down in all the 14 years we were married.
Thanks every one of you who admitted to their kitchen mishaps! For the most part, they seem pretty funny viewed from a few(?) years down the road. I have to say though, Maria, I really couldn't laugh that much about yours because you actually were hurt and even now that's not funny. I'm sorry that happened.
I've got a couple more to share -- one of mine and one that one of my customers shared with me a couple of years ago that's just too good not to repeat.
Mine happened not in the kitchen, but while camping at a folk festival that I used to attend every year. I had brought my then boyfriend who was a Hindu (and therefore vegetarian) and we were joined for supper at our campsite by two of my brothers who had also come for the festival. I had packed a couple of jars of vegetable soup in the cooler and we planned on that for supper. I decided that it looked a bit thick and grabbed the container we'd been using to ferrry water from the pump down to our campsite, totally forgetting that we'd used said container to mix orange juice that morning. As I started pouring the "water" into the soup, my eyes just about bugged out of my head --- it was orange! I just stopped at that point and grabbed an empty container and headed for the pump. I met my boyfriend there and told him what had happened. He responded "You did WHAT?" and we both exploded into giggles. Everytime we caught each other's eye we both started laughing again. One of my brothers remarked that he was glad we were having such a good time. Luckily, the tomato base of the soup was strong enough to mask the orange juice and they never knew the difference.
There's one more story that I'd like to share even though it isn't "mine" and it's more of a dining room mishap than a kitchen one. A customer at my store related this one to me and she was a good enough story-teller that I could just see it happening in my mind's eye. There is a historical recreation village not that far from here and, among other things, it contains a turn of the century blacksmith's shop. This woman purchased a lovely and pricey candle chandelier from said shop and installed it in her dining room. She decided to have a dinner party, put tapers in the chandelier and lit them. About a third of the way through the meal, little wrought iron "missiles" started to descend from the chandelier right into the diners' plates. Of course, to make matters worse, she was serving marinara sauce, so you can imagine what the guests looked like at that point! When she went back to the blacksmith to complain, she was greeted with "You weren't actually supposed to light the candles!" Apparently he had used an extremely low-melt solder to attach the candle holders to the body of the chandelier, and the rest, as they say, was "history".
LOL,,,well, lets see,,,this isn't a long one but kind of embarassing. I was making something that needed to be put in a glass 11x13 cake pan. The directions said to heat water to boiling and pour it into the glass pan. I thought I would save myself a step and heat the water in the glass pan on top of the stove. I did that and put the next ingredient in the pan and put it on the oven,,,the darn glass cake pan Exploded. I had glass All over the place. What a mess to clean up.
Never heat water in a glass baking pan on the stove and then put it in the oven.
Another time, I was going to make some nice ribs for dinner, so, I put them in my small roasting pan, put some water in and popped them in the oven, after an hour I added the BBQ sauce and was going to leave them for another hour. Well, I sat down on the couch,,,pretty soon I started getting sleepy so I thought, I'll just lay down for a few minutes,,,I woke up when Bill came home and asked what I was burning for dinner,,,LOL That whole mess went in the garbage,,,roasting pan and all. Come to think of it, I haven't replaced that pan either,,,LOL
My stepdaughter decided to bake a cake one day while her dad and I were at work. She preheated the oven, as directed, then put together the ingredients and mixed them. She then poured the batter into a floured pan and set it in the oven. Next she knelt down to light the oven through the broiler door. Needless to say, the built up gas that had been 'preheating' for about 20 minutes exploded and her hair caught on fire. Her brother stopped the blaze by smacking her repeatedly with a damp dish towel.
When her dad and I got home, the house smelled of burnt hair, the kitchen looked like a hurricane hit it, and Becky had no eyebrows. One side of her lovely, long brunette hair looked like a matted charcoal bricket. Thank goodness, she was OK, but we took her to the emergency room and hairdresser! Every time she looked in the mirror and saw her reflection without eyebrows, it reminded her that you don't 'preheat' a gas stove without lighting it first!
I was about 15, making brownies, I had over cooked them a tad, and had read that dipping a pan in cold water can help keep the bottoms from being so burnt. I don't think they meant for this to be done with a glasss pan. oops!
As a newlywed, I was quite confident about my skills, since I'd been cooking for years. Biscuits were a breeze. However I wasn't smart enough to know not to use old baking powder. You can imagine what the result was. Of course, my also newly wed husband tried to be helpful and clean the kitchen, and for some reason, he flushed the rock hard buscuits. It took Roto rooter 2 days to unclog the plumbing for the entire trailer park. we at least had sense enough to keep our mouth shut about the cause.
Last Christmas, I started a batch of candy. Bring sugar, karo and water to 300 degrees. Take my advise, don't let someone at the door distract you from this task. I went back to the kitchen to find the syrup had boiled over and caught fire. Fortunately, other than the loss of the pan, no major damage was done, but it took days to rid the house of the smoke and burned smell.
One of my friends and I decided to make up a casserole for lunch one summer when we were about 15. She got out the blue box mac and cheese, a can of tuna, a small can of tomato sauce, shredded cheese and nacho cheese Doritos. We ended up making a "run for the border" it was so digusting.
My mom and I came home one morning after going out to the farmers market and the house was "cloudy" and smelled like my dad and brother after eating beans! Mom had put a dozen eggs on to hardboil and forgot about them. After the water boiled away the eggs burned and exploded up onto the ceiling and then continued to burn. Thank goodness the house was OK, although the smell lingered for a few days.
This is my favorite. It was my Aunt's story, I am sure she won't mind that I share.
She was a newly wed and decided to bake a birthday cake for new Hubby.
She started mixing the cake batter and discovered she was out of plain flour, so she substituted self rising flour. She was measuring the salt over the bowl and when she tipped the box the top was loose and almost half the salt in the box fell into the flour. She scooped out what she could and went ahead with her mixing. The recipe called for buttermilk, she didn't have that either so she put in regular milk and some butter. The cake batter looked just fine so she poured it into the pan and started to cook. She looked into the oven while it was cooking and it was beautiful, puffy layers. When she took them out of the oven they at once fell to about 1/2" thick. LOL
Not to be out done she decided to go ahead and just make extra frosting. She couldn't get the fallen cakes out of the pans except in pieces. She finally got most of the cake pieces out and arranged the bottom layer on her serving dish.
New hubby loved chocolate so she melted the choc. bars. When she poured the hot chocolate mix into the glass mixing bowl it broke. Chocolate was running all over her counter and dripping on the floor. Still determined to present him with a cake she scrapped all of the chocolate and the glass off the counter and continued mixing. She knew at this time they couldn't eat it anyway.
She spread a generous amount of frosting across the bottom layer and then reached for the second layer, forgetting the chocolate that had dripped onto the floor. She next found herself sitting on the floor with both the layer spread with chocolate and the unfrosted layer on the floor beside her. Still not to be out done, crying and laughing at the same time she cleaned up the cake and the chocolate, rearranged the cake and put on the top layer and finished frosting the cake.
After dinner she dimmed the lights and came in with her beautiful birthday cake covered with candles for her "True Love". We sang to him, he blew out the candles and she threw her cake in the trash. Then she shared her story. It has been many years and this is still our families favorite birthday story. LOL
Mine was recently which makes it the most embarrassing part of it, I should know better by now (!) but the mistake wasn't catastrophic.
I greased and "floured" a pan for brownies but thought it would be much sweeter to sprinkle the pan with powdered sugar instead of icky flour. Who'da thought the sugar would melt down and help the brownies become one with the pan instead. Hehe.
That sound like something I'd do:) Just something I have tried...mix some cocoa powder in with the flour, like 1/2 and 1/2 and that will work = ) I read that somewhere when someone didn't want any white flour residue on her chocolate cake. I used a blend but you could probably do all cocoa powder too.
I have a new one to add. Sigh. Shoulda known better I suppose!
Did you know if you bake in a glass casserole dish and it's hot from the oven you DON'T put water in it to soak in the sink! BOOM! I've often done this with no problems but recently took the pans contents out and put the pan in the sink with HOT water almost immediately. BOOM!
DH came in the room to ask what had happened when he saw the shards. Luckily it all stayed IN the sink and broke into many easily removed chunks.
YES! I've been vindicated! At least SOMEONE else agrees with me?! Who knew! I've done it before with no problems. To bad because it was a glass casserole dish which had a plastic lid with steam release hole for microwaving...sigh.
This one is recent and not exactly mine. On Sunday my boyfriend decided to bake a cake for his fathers birthday. While he is good at cooking many things, cakes just aren't his strong point. He grabbed a new cookbook that I just bought and found a recipe that looked good. He's not very good about reading the whole recipe before the first attemp, he just sort of skims through as a goes. Well he got to the part that says 'add the remaining sugar' and let out an exasperated groan. What remaining sugar? We'll I took that batch away from him and put it in the toaster oven ( It turned into a slightly odd gooey fudge that tasted pretty good). After reading the recipe again (all the way through) he made a second attempt but failed to make an important connection. He grabbed the next pan that was about the right size, an old 9” springform, and worked through the recipe again. The last step of the recipe is to pour 1 ½ cups of boiling water on top of the batter and this makes a fudge sauce in the BOTTOM of the pan. Well the batter held the hot water away from the seam on the pan just long enough to get the cake into the oven and walk away. I smelled burning and opened the oven to find chocolate water running out the bottom of the pan. At that point DB was furious and I told him if he had a tantrum and broke anything I would give him a swift kick in the shin. I sent him to the garage long enough for the oven to cool so we could clean it. Then I made a regular chocolate cake with no drama (and DB went back to the garage where he belongs :)
My most memorable kitchen mishap was when I was a teenager in the 70s. I had been lying out in the sun and came in to get something to eat. I had a hankering for fried eggs, so I set about frying up a couple. Being from the south, frying means using lots of grease...in this case, bacone grease. As I went to turn the eggs, they slipped off the spatula and splattered grease all over my nekked tummy. I had second degree burns with blisters...on top of a sunburn. That night my boyfriend came over to see me and when he went to hug me ferom behind and put his arms around my belly, I went through the ceiling. I explained about my mishap.
The weird thing is the very same day his mother was making tea and hadn't let the tea cool down prior to pouring it in the glass spitcher. Because the AC was turned really low, the temperature cahnge caused the pitcher to shatter...spilling scalding tea all over HER stomach. For years after that, long after we broke up, he swore we were fated for each other because hs mother and I had both burned our stomachs in the kitchen on the same day!
My story goes back to the early 50's. I had an aunt who lived in Augusta, GA. She was very rich and had servants. For some reason, she liked to spend a wk. with us in our 3 bedroom, 1 bath house (my grandmother, mother, 2 brothers and yours truly). One summer while she was visiting, she took it upon herself to cook supper. While my grandmother and mother were sitting out on the front porch, she went into the kitchen, turned on the gas in the oven and THEN started looking for matches. (This was before elec. ignitions). Our kitchen opened onto the backporch. I had just stepped into the kitchen from the porch when BOOM. The blast blew me back into the screen of the porch, blew out the windows in the kitchen and dining room, destroyed the stove and partially the wall in back of it. Blew my aunt across the kitchen table and into a cupboard. She paid for all the repairs and a new stove.
I have a gas stove now, but am still leery of it. Liz
My children could (and would) give ya'll Lots of stories...but there is one they will never let me forget.
The children were all quite young and we were having a backyard picnic. They were all allowed to invite friends. I was cooking on the grill, etc. Everything was going along just fine until it was time for the ice cream.. I thought it would be fun for all of the kids to see how the old crank churns worked (still like those best) and was going to give each one of them a chance to turn the crank. I bet we cranked on that thing for HOURS. I knew something was wrong but just kept getting the kids to take turns assured that EVENTUALLY, the stuff would begin to harden. Finally, my oldest son had enough. He said, "Mom, there's got to be something wrong...we give up and are going to play". Being defeated, I took the freezer back into the kitchen and started taking it apart. I HAD FORGOTTEN THE PADDLE. The cream itself had never been turning! I never told the visiting children a thing. I simply inserted the paddle and cranked away in the kitchen The neighborhood children thought I had worked miracles. My own children knew what had happened and always make sure that I put the thing together right. Of course, each time they come for a visit now, they insist on home-made ice cream just so they can tell that story!
I also have the rock-hard biscuit story. My young DH swore we could pave a sidewalk with them. The dog used them as chew toys for ages!
My children have all given me kitchen timers as gifts because I am the Burn Queen!
First let me say, "What a fun thread". Now the mishaps.
When I was engaged to my DH, about 36 years ago, I decided I wanted to learn to bake homemade pies. My DD could put pie dough together without even measuring and it always turned out great. Well, after watching him I thought I could do that. I made the apple pie put it in the oven to bake and was so proud of myself until it was time to take it out of the oven. The top crust had ballooned up about 9 inches! It seemed I had forgotten to put vent holes in the top crust. ROTFL
Then a couple of years ago. After pretty much mastering pie baking I was asked by my DD to bake the pies for Thanksgiving dinner. I made a pecan pie, an apple pie and pumpkin pies. Well, I got a piece of pumpkin pie and wondered why everyone was watching me take a bite. I put it in my mouth and swallowed and said "I forgot the sugar!" Yuck. How embarassing.
Then one time I made lasagna in a pyrex 9x13 pan. Smelled great looked great and then when I was taking it out of the oven and it hit the (I guess) cooler air of the kitchen it exploded. Hot and I mean hot lasagna fell on the floor and my foot. Luckily no serious damage but I can't remember what we ate instead.
Just a quick couple:
DW once made a beautiful chocolate cake, but used the seasoned flour instead of the plain - lots of garlic in that cake. Tasted good, just had a heavy odor.
When we got our first microwave oven - cooked a 4# chicken hen whole. Followed the instructions from the oven manufacturer, but it did not look done. Gave it another 20 minutes. Looked better - maybe another 20 minutes. Looked like a picture from a cooking magazine. Opened the door and removed the bird - smelled good - went to cut some breast meat - hollow bird - tried the thigh - same hollow bird. We went out to eat - and have laughed about the microwave chicken for years. The desiccated carcass weighed about 6 ounces.
This happened to my neighbor, but I think you can all appreciate it.
She had 3 boys - all between 4 and 7 years old. She had put
them down for a nap and had laid down on the sofa for a bit.
Well, she fell asleep.
While she was blissfully napping on the sofa, her boys got out
of bed and decided to help mom by making Jell-O. They dumped
every package of it she had in the house, then added lots of water,
just as they had seen mom do - except that they mixed it all on
her kitchen floor.
When she woke up, there was Jell-O everywhere and, of course, it
had solidified with the A/C on in the house.
I'm not even gonna tell you about the tears and the cussing and the
work to clean it up, but you can well imagine.
Many many years ago, I had taken to reading Adele Davis' book on Cooking it Right. Her recipe for fish was a baked whole fish, just to 145º so the oils didn't break down and smell fishy. Naturally I did this for company, and with a BIG fish.
Took it out of the oven to check interior temps and it wasn't quite up to the right temp. So, back into the oven. HOWEVER, in those days cooking thermometers were glass with mercury. I forgot to remove the thermometer when I put it back in the oven so you can guess what happened. We ate salad, LOL.
A few years ago, I had a license to cook and bake items for sale in a state certified kitchen. I had an order for several of some kind of little cakes, can't remember now. Something like carrot cakes or something. I made the cakes and they came out very small...couldn't understand it. Tasted one and they tasted fine. I packaged them up and sent them off with a lable "Itty Bitty [whatever] Cakes" It wasn't until after I delivered them and a few days later when I was doing inventory that I realized I still had a lot of eggs. I had completely forgotten to put the eggs in the recipe! I never had a complaint,...but come to think of it, I don't think the store ever ordered from me again, LOL.
Kitchen mishap..How about making home-made, from scratch, flour tortillas. I was a young bride and truly wanted to impress my DH. Trying to impress was only my FIRST mistake..The last one was being so aggravated..waving a "tortilla" around...CLEARLY not a happy camper...having it fly OUT of my hands..only to knock a small chunk out of the wall!!
I have not, nor will I ever, attempted to make tortillas again!!!
LOL! I can recall trying to make whole wheat bread without using any white flour at all. The resulting loaf was so heavy, I threw it outdoors for the birds. It was good entertainment to watch the blue jays and crows grab chunks and attempt to fly away with it!
My worst mishap was when I baked shortbread cookies and used powdered sugar instead of corn starch. The "dough" balls contained basically nothing more than butter and powdered sugar. I put them into the oven. They melted instantly and started smoking up the house. I got them just in time... A few moments later and the whole thing would have gone up in flames. I threw the cookie sheet out the open window to get rid of the mess it was making in my kitchen.
When I was trying out the Atkins diet I bought a thickening agent (can't remember the name) used for gravies and sauces -- instead of using the oh so terrible white flour. Anyway, I added the amount recommended and nothing happen. The gravy did not thicken. Added more, nothing. Added more and then more. Before I could blink an eye, the "gravy" became a large, glutenous glob that doubled in size in the sauce pan. I had a sci-fi event happening before my very eyes. Needless to say, the meat entree was served sans gravy.
This did NOT happen to me but to eldest daughter who doesn't like to cook if it's going to take more than one pan or more than 3 ingredients. She just likes to eat...
Anyway, the other day she needed to fix dinner so she got out the crockpot and went to the cabinets and freezer to see what she could gather. She remembered a recipe she had seen for the pot that included chicken thighs. ok. She went and got the chicken thighs. The recipe called for skinless, bone-in thighs. The ones she had were skinless, boneless, MOJO seasoned thighs ok. She puts those in along w/carrots, celery, onion. No measurements - lots of carrots. Recipe called for tarragon - no tarragon - use thyme (it starts w/a T) no measurements. ok Calls for salt and pepper. Too much salt in MOJO so just add pepper. ok Add chicken broth. ok Calls for 8oz fresh mushrooms - have 16 oz - just add it all. Cook for 4-5 hrs. ok Tastes at 3 hours ... horrible. looks in cabinet again. Ah, a can of salsa. Adds the whole thing. After 6 hrs. and recipe of rice made, announces dinner...Result: stewed, salty, carroty stewed chicken stuff over rice. Really horrible. Husband and son will not eat leftovers so she feels she has to. Two more meals of stuff. Moral: 1) don't crock pot chicken like that again and 2) write company that recipe was horrible.
Well, now that we are "tellin off" on others(heehee), I have to share THIS one! I must have been around 8 or 9..my sister, Carla, was around 13. She decided she was gonna help Momma out by cooking supper for us. She was gonna fry chicken. She got out the "oil" and poured in the pan..already having cut up(butchered is how she used to say it) the chicken. She had her oil justa heatin away..The kitchen began to smell funny and smoke..Lordy, never seen so much smoke..Thank goodness Momma got home bout this time, coz the "oil" Carla had used was not oil after all..It was Karo Syrup!! Never again did Carla ever attempt to fry chicken!! She used to call me when ever she wanted for her and her bunch to have fried chicken. I teased her relentlessly over this one. Carla is gone now..we lost her way too soon at the young age of 41..But at least we had that many years with her..and we still have a lifetime of wonderful memories of her!(p.s..to be honest..Carla never really EVER got the hang of cookin from scratch! And I know she wont mind me sharing this tidbit of info with yall!.luv ya Carla..miss ya oodles!)
Thanks billy! She was such a hoot! I am really so grateful to have had the time I did with my big sis! When I think of her, and I do often, rarely am I sad..We had so many wonderful times and tons of laughter..She had the neatest way of throwin her head back and lettin loose with a good ole "belly" laugh...So, those times..those memories...are forever!! I know right now she is sayin..Now Ran..get on with it..live well, laugh much!!
First time I had my new inlaws over for dinner, I had made a lovely plate full of appetizers and was so proud. I was so proud to offer my MIL an " Hors devors" pronounced just like it looks. She could hardly keep a straight face, but bless her heart, she did. Years later, she and I both acknowledged it and laughed.
I had read the recipe in a cook book, how was I to know it wasn't pronounced like it looked ? LOL
I've had a LOT of mishaps in the kitchen, but, 2 of them really stand out in my mind. The first one was on Thanksgiving day when I was much younger. Mom, Granny, and my aunt were busy trying to get the last of the dinner cooked. Mom had boiled the giblets for the gravy and had them sitting on the stove. She had all of the celery strings, bad lettuce leaves, etc., (throw away stuff) in a pot right behind it. She told me to take the big pot of scraps and throw it out...well, I did, when she came back in the kitchen, she realized I had thrown away all of the giblets for the gravy and there sat the pot of scraps. She still made gravy, but it certainly didn't have as many giblets as it normally would have, the family still picks on me about this every year.
#2 - When I was engaged to my first husband, I decided I would impress him with fried chicken. Well, I had actually never fried chicken myself, but had watched Mom do it for years...how hard could it be. Mom said this was MY dinner, so I would have to take care of all of it. I went to the store - bought a chicken, at that time I didn't realize there was a difference in a frying chicken and a roasting chicken, needless to say, I had not bought the fryer. I came home and commenced to cutting it up. There was another job. Then I went to frying, I also didn't realize the fire couldn't be on so high, the outside of the chicken "looked" just like mom's. The inside was an ENTIRELY different story, of course that's after you tried to chisel your way thru the crust. I found out after we divorced, Mom and Dad were really hoping the chicken experience would have kept him from getting married. They had never liked him, and figured he deserved the leather chicken that was raw...LOL. When I got ready to marry the second time, Mom and I had a lesson or two on picking out a chicken and frying it. Now when I fry chicken, my DH is real happy he wasn't the one "they didn't like".
Hey yall! Got a little thing I gotta tell yall...Not to do with kitchen..but since yall are the most patient bunch..here goes..
I have my 2 and half yr old grandson for a few days. I got out some movies and was naming them to give him his choices. I came to the Hans Christian tale of "The Ugly Duckling". He said, "Mamaw, I dont watch any ugly movies"..I bout rolled with laughter!!
Like they say..outta the mouths of babes!!
This one could be titled "Dumb Things I've Done... lately." LOL
I'm really big on cooking in quantity and dividing up into portions for meals and freezing it for convenience. One thing that is great to cook up and freeze is rice. It's so easy to pull a pre-cooked portion out of the freezer, microwave it and add to an entre' for a quick fix dinner.
Last night I got the bright idea to put a bag of rice in the crock pot, add the salt and water and wake up to nice rice this morning. ... NOT.
I figured if I put it on low, it would be great. Nope. It was awful, all sticky and mushy. Not only that, it made a really tough crust around the inside of the crockpot that was so hard to clean off.
So just in case you ever get that idea...just pass it bye. Makes a mess. LOL
Been married and cooking for 37 years now, and just now discovered this, DUH ! Never too late to learn how to make a new cooking mess. :))
I was very young (maybe 8) and my grandmother ("Nanny") was visiting us. She was helping me back a Big Bird cake (it was a mold of Big Bird's Face). The cake baked up fine, and when frosted, it was absolutely beautiful. Then we tasted it. My Nanny asked, "How much baking soda did you put in?" My reply? "1 1/2 cups, Nanny, why?" She smiled, pointed to the recipe and said, "It's 1 1/2 teaspoons!" Ugh, it was horrible.
My first roast chicken was only a minor disaster. It smelled great, looked even better, and then I went to carve it. I couldn't get the knife into the chicken. I was thinking, "Why is there so little breast meat between my knife and the bone?" Well, it was because I'd cooked it upside down. Not a real disaster, since it actually tasted fine, it was more of a first-timer's silly mistake.
I cooked mine breast down, meaning to turn it halfway because I hate the soggy skin on the back. It smelled done, and the meat thermometer shot up to 195*. So much for flipping it over :() It wasn't overdone tho .
After reading this thread, I cooked my chicken breast down on Easter Sunday... on purpose. Oh, it was so nice and moist ! I'm so glad I had a chance to learn this good thing, which you originally thought was a bad thing. :))) Thanks for sharing with us.
I started this thread quite some time ago and am sorry to admit that I just did something that qualifies for at least an "honorable mention" in this category tonight.
It's been a long time since I've deep fried anything, but, encouraged by Alton Brown's "Good Eats" program on the Food Network, we bought an electric deep fryer a couple of years ago. I used it once, I think, and then put it away. We decided to try homemade fish and chips and duly went out and bought a gallon of cooking oil. I was all set to make the meal and then couldn't find the power cord for the cooker. Drat! Here we are a few weeks later and the cord miraculously re-appeared! Okay. Now we're in business. I found the recipe, made the beer batter for the fish and cooked the fries as directed. Here comes the "what were you THINKING part. I proceeded to batter half the fish and placed it in the wire basket. DUH! Of course, the batter cooked right onto the wires of the basket and I had a wonderful time picking the fish and batter off in tiny pieces. At least the other half came out nicely!
Well, here I am again. I have to admit to another little fiasco. Those of you who know me know that I've just re-located my store --- an exhausting and stressful job!
We got home late one night, tired and hungry and I stuck a cast iron skillet on the stove to heat. I must have gotten distracted by something as I left the pan heating just a tad too long. When I sprayed it with cooking spray it immediately burst into flame (which at least answered a question that has been in the back of my mind for a long time. Being a born pessimist, I always wondered if the fire would flow back and make the can explode in a situation like this. I'm glad to report nothing of the sort!) Since there was very little "fuel" there because the spray has a minimal amount of oil, the flames went out before I could even wonder whether to grab a pot lid or the fire extinguisher. Okay, no problem, right? Wrong. About then I noticed the flaming pot holder which was hanging on the wall next to that side of the stove. I quickly grabbed it with the metal tongs I'd had handy to use on the hot dogs, threw it on the floor and stomped on it. It retaliated by melting a bit of the rubber on the bottom of my sandal and sticking to it, but by then the flames were out. At this point I noticed the second flaming pot holder which I grabbed, threw into the sink and sprayed with water. Phew! At least there were no casualties except for a pair of potholders.
you are dangerous girl. LOL! glad it was only potholders.
i did something similar when i was a teen and mother worked nights. i put the iron skillet on the stove with some cooking oil, forgot about. when it started smoking, i slid it off the burner, and of course the sparks lighted the oil.
i spilled some on my bobby socks which caught fire, and put the skillet in the sink. no one ever told me NOT to put water on an oil fire. of course that's what i did, it roared, and burned up mother's new curtains before i got it put out. then a neighbor took me to the ER and i still have scars.
My first husband's family was over for dinner.. (this wasn't a disaster of my doing.. well not completely)
I wasn't paying attention to what my sil was doing but she had turned on the oven for the brown and serve rolls. Not disastrous yet.
I saw what she'd done and quickly turned off the stove. Which was a good thing because this was an old stove without a pilot lite. You had to light it with a match.
So far everything is good and right. Now the disaster. I told her about having to light it with a match and promptly bent over and stuck a lit match in the oven. ... ...
Yea.. my eyebrows got singed and so did my bangs and a loud "thwomp" went through the house.
I didn't let the gas air out .. so even though my Sil was upset that she could have killed me.. It was my fault.. I should not have been so quick on the match.