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Not meant to be ?

Sultan, WA(Zone 8a)

I've just got to know!

I haven't worn make-up since I got married. For your viewing pleasure I have enclosed a pic. I used to all the time when I was single and working but stopped when I met my husband. For whatever reason . . . He has never seen me with make-up on and neither has anyone else I know in this area.

So I got a wild hair and put on my make-up to go to church. Had to find it first . . . Surprisingly, the mascara was still in good shape. Another good reason not to buy the cheap stuff!
I came out of the bathroom and my husband took one look at me and gave me a look. Who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-my-wife look. "You look different." was all he said. So at church, all of my good friends and aquaintances kept giving me this same look. So I cornered a trusted lady friend and asked her honest opinion.
She said my make up looked good. I just didn't look right in it. It just wasn't me. By that time, I started feeling weird about it too.

Is it just not meant to be? I feel sad. I liked getting all gussied up for a change. Should I just throw it all out for good or try to aclimate everyone to its presence on my face?

Thumbnail by renwings
Sioux City, IA(Zone 4b)

First of all, you and your husband make a nice looking couple. Now to the makeup. You say that you have makeup on in your wedding picture...I think you look very natural. If you wear makeup that simply enhances...not over powers, I think you should continue to go for it. People will get use to the "newness", change takes a little time. I know that I feel better about myself when I look my best, not a thing wrong with it!
Men certainly can be hard to read. Did your husband like your makeup?

mid central, FL(Zone 9a)

wear whatever makes you happy. do a little experimenting. i don't know how old you are but one thing i do know, powder makes you look old. it settles in the lines. stick with a nice light liquid foundation, something like Covergirl Smoothers and make sure it's not dark. you don't want "the mask". i always blend a tiny bit of lipstick (yes, lipstick) onto my cheekbones and then mascara. btw, throw the old mascara. it breeds eye problems. get a new one every 4 mos. and whatever you do, don't use dark lipliner. that's an aging thing too. these are just my opinions of course, except for the old mascara, your eye doc will tell you that. debi

Vancouver, WA(Zone 8a)

The makeup gal on What Not to Wear has used a light spray foundation that she dabs on w/ a tiny sponge for a very natural look, so she says. I can't tell it is tv. She says not to use powder foundation as they tend to crack etc but use 'silicone based foundation' for a more natural look. I am not sure she is not just promoting the product that may sponsor the show. renwings, how long ago was this photo taken? You ought to go to Nordstrom or Macy's for a face make up w/ one of the cosmetic lines for fun.

Palm Bay, FL(Zone 9b)

Where does one get spray foundation?

What are brands of silicone-based foundation?

Palm Bay, FL(Zone 9b)

BTW, Renwings, by this picture, you will always look lovely.

I think people are just not used to you wearing makeup. These young people's answers (an assumption, but I think they are young) give some good ideas for natural-looking products.

While we like to please our spouses, you don't know specifically that he was displeased.

I have a feeling that you are a good judge of how to enhance your lovely looks. It was probably just the fast transition of no makeup to now makeup.

Hey, I am learning a thing or two on this thread.


This message was edited Mar 11, 2006 11:33 PM

Sultan, WA(Zone 8a)

Well, thanks for all your comments! I am 24 now. I feel old sometimes, but I'm not.

My husband didn't like the makeup. He tells me I look better without it. But he's only of those guys that is attracted to "granola" girls. As her puts it. So his opinion is somewhat biased already. Besides, we already have an ongoing battle with the toilet seat. I don't have much sympathy for his point of view on this particular matter!

I was a little worried about the mascara. It just amazed me how fresh it still was! I kept the brush though, after I gave it a thorough cleansing. I want to try it out as a lash seperator, since I don't like the normal ones that are a comb/brush combo. I agree on the lipliner thing though, it was a popular way to do your makeup when I was in highschool. I always thought it looked garrish.

What a fun girls day out! Go get your face done up at the makeup counter! Do you make an appointment or pay for the service?

I'm going to start doing myself at least once a week. I think that is a good compromise. Maybe work into it a step at a time for everyones sake. Start with mascara, then eye-liner, then shadow, etc.

upper hicksville zon, Canada

You obviously want to wear make-up again so why don't you start with an extremely natural look so that your DH and others aren't even sure you are wearing any. Then gradually wear slightly darker/brighter colours and they may not even notice. I think the shock was in the contrast from no make-up to a fully made-up look and "wild hair".

Vancouver, WA(Zone 8a)

re: make up counter. just show up. Eliz. Arden, Clinique, etc. those gals are selling the products so they will push for everything under the sun.

Guilford, CT(Zone 7a)

But the gals at the counters will have you painted - anything to get you to BUY their products! I too have not worn makeup for a long time. I would never have left the house without my face on! In the past, my friends told me I looked 100% better with the makeup. I was so dependent on it in the past. But now I wonder if I look too made up with it on, or if I look like a Barbie doll. Other people don't care as much about makeup as WE do - They just like us for who we are. And that is a GOOD thing! So now I will put on light mascara, a little lipstick - Not too much, but just enough to make me feel pretty. How nice to know that is isn't so important!

Odenville, AL

Renwings, the most important thing is how wearing or not wearing makeup makes YOU feel. Sometimes, that makeup makes us feel more polished, which translates into a more confident attitude. I wear and recommend the mineral makeup by Bare Escentuals; this stuff is fabulous! It does not "settle" into lines, it never "cracks" (some of the powder comments from above- this is not a normal powder). It reflects light, giving you a little illumination like natural skin, so you don't look all mask-y and matte. I am older than you (34) but I have very "young" skin in that I have no wrinkles and I still get some blemishes. This makeup does not irritate or cause blemishes. It seems a little expensive at around $30, but it lasts 4-5 months if you wear everyday. Also, it is SPF 15! Please, even if you NEVER wear makeup, always wear a sunscreen... I lost someone dear to me to melanoma.


Boerne, TX

Go to the internet to marykay.com and find a beauty consultant in your area. You will get the best attention from someone who is trained to help you buy and apply makeup. With Mary Kay you always try before you buy with their samples and if you buy something that doesn't work, you get your money back or a replacement product that you DO like. All of this can take place in the privacy of your home. Plus, you will make a new friend.

(Zone 5a)

I can wear eye shadow, but I've always looked dumb wearing mascara. Even as a teen. I guess I don't need it.

Hulbert, OK(Zone 7a)

I had to comment, neat thread.

Once upon a time I made sure every eyelash was perfectly painted with
mascara, my foundation was just so, eyeliner, the whole nine yards.
Working in the garden for quite some time now, I see that all that nonsense
on my face just made for obligatory routines before heading to town.

Now if it is a special occasion or I just want to feel good and have extra time
(huh? extra time???) I wear it, curl my hair, etc.

When I see women with all that stuff on their face (not regular makeup, some
women around here wear it like war paint) it makes me want
to rush home and scrub my own face, even though I rarely wear makeup.
An old high school pal once talked me into being a guinea pig for one of
her makeup shows, and my gosh, I can't imagine having that much time to
do that every day, much less spending all the money on the products.

When I do wear makeup, I realize it makes me look entirely different, but
I don't need or want it on a daily basis.

I think a lot of men prefer their women without makeup for many reasons, one
of which is they may think that when we wear makeup, it sends a "Look at me"
signal to some men. Hubbys get comfortable with us looking like they
are used to, and then one day we look entirely different. When I put on
clean clothes without rips and patches, my husband asks where
I am going, LOL.

You look beautiful no matter what!

Guilford, CT(Zone 7a)

That is the key - to feel comfortable in your own skin, the way nature made you. I used to worry what others would think of me without makeup, & a roomate even told me that I should not ever go without it. How shallow & insensitive! The only part of our faces that tell others who we are is out eyes - shining eyes witrh happiness behind them say "beautiful" to all people. This has been proven in studies - people react to faces by their eyes, not their lipstick. But what a HUGE industry!

Pearl River, LA

sweetie no one should tell you whether you should wear makeup or not.....it is a very personal choice......I myself am sixty six and I do not wear makeup around my home daily but I would not be caught down the street without it....I call it putting on my face.....without make up I have no eyes my brows are much to light..... on the other hand I like to let my skin breath and do not smother it with make up all the time....shirleyt

Claremore, OK(Zone 6a)

Ahhhh, to be 24 again. That's 30 yrs ago for me.

Back when I was 24, I *thought* I needed makeup to look good. Now I'd love to have *just* that look with nothing at all on it.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If your hubby thinks you're beautiful without it, and you're comfortable without it...........you're one of the luckiest girls I know.
Makeup is for us older gals who need to cover up the less than perfect shin tones. Or for the gals who want to make a certain style statement. Or for the ones that have too many imperfections that need to be covered. Or for those who are actually beautiful, but don't have confidence enough to believe that they really are.
Any of us that fall into these catagories would gladly give up the makeup, time spent, and expense of it all to have just a natural simple beauty. If that's what you've got...........enjoy it while you can. Beauty is a fleeting thing on the outside. The only real and lasting beauty is the person beneath the visable part.

A funny story our pastor told from the pulpet one day concerning women with madeup faces................ "A little paint on an old barn, .........once the wear starts to show, ain't exactly a bad idea........but you don't want it to look like a circus tent or a carnival." hehe Makes good sense.

Lisbon, IA(Zone 5a)

You can get the spray makeup at: http://www.classifiedcosmetics.com/

I've never mastered spraying it on and so, I don't, I do, however, spray a bit into my hand and use a sponge to put it on. I'm going to try a make up brush one of these days. :)

Right now I'm trying Bare Esscentuals.. Covers well, but if I get too warm it makes my face itch... The jury is still out on it..


Lansdale, PA(Zone 7a)

I am a very high maintenance girl. I am a make-up artist in PA who has had her share of working the cosmetics counter. I had to reply to you. Your husband likes you for who you are. Girls who wear a lot of make-up want to be appreciated for who they are naturally, which is often hard. Make-up is a part of me, therefore someone has to accept me for both. I haven't had much luck finding someone who can respect both which is no big deal. But I remember servicing so many women who wanted something other than what their husbands wanted. My advice is always to remain what it is that your husband wants. The beautiful woman he chose to marry. On your days, whether it is once a week, or once a month. Your moment for yourself when you take a bubblebath or role play, whatever it is that you do...experiment! Start off with a brown elyliner, a mascara which is close to your natural lash color, a lip gloss which is sheer. Get comfortable withenhancing your look,not changing your look. Hey, I love Pamela Anderson, Beyonce, and Jennifer Lopez. I do not mind looking that way each day, but let's face it certain types of men will not marry that. The ones that do you probably wouldn't want, which is why you married the one who loves you for you. You seem very beautiful on the inside. Stay the woman that he chose...but have fun when the mood strikes without it affecting who your image. The best of luck with your marriage.

Crossville, TN

A minister was asked one time if wearing lipstick was a sin...he replied...I doubt it...an old barn looks better if a little bright paint is applied!...LOL That's me! But I can't wear eye make up...no mattrer what kind I use, it bothers my eyes....I may wear it for a short while...but not all day.

I have started using Beauitcontrol products....they are like Mary Kay in that they are home parties...called Spa Parties. I really like their products...especially the skin care...seems to make these old wrinkles...if not better...softer!


Central FL, FL(Zone 9b)

Even the most beautiful women in the world enhance their beauty with makeup. I have yet to see anyone except a teenager look better without it. It doesn't have to be a mask; learn to be skillfully subtle.

Thornton, IL

renwings - OMG! Am I the only one who noticed your husband is wearing a kilt! I bet you he doesn't wear it every day, but only on special occasions, right? That's okay to do for makeup too, you don't need to plaster it on so thick that you're unrecognizable. I honestly don't notice your makeup when I look at your picture, just a pretty young girl. If you use a little lipstick, maybe some mascara? that is usually enough to bring out a natural sparkle, and trust me, after you have kids, it might be all you ever have time for, LOL. That's all I use, sometimes eyeliner for a little more drama and definition. (And concealer, because I have undereye circles, I look so tired without it. That's because I don't sleep well). Obviously, if you have a blemish or a similar problem, you'd probably feel more confident if you disguised it. Makeup is supposed to enhance your looks, not exaggerate them. So unless you're going on stage, eighty-six the war paint and try some of the new matte, natural makeup shades that are popular now. I second the idea of going to Mary Kay, your mom and aunts and girlfriends can join you in a facial and makeup party. They have the best lipgloss color too, Almond Glaze. It works on all skin colors, dark and light. I also think a dark color lipstick is dated looking. And your husband may decide he likes that extra sparkle you get when you gussy up a little, just for him, LOL.

Central FL, FL(Zone 9b)

So, Renwings, did you finally please yourself and start wearing makeup?

Sultan, WA(Zone 8a)

Nah, I tossed it all. I guess I am just a granola girl at heart, really!
It was kind of liberating actually. I don't look twice at the make up isle any more.

Amelia Island, FL(Zone 9a)

Renwings - I was in a car accident while in my early 20's, ended up with a 4" scar on my chin and no chin "dimple". Since then I wear hats in the summer to keep the sun off my scar. I've always been cautious with the amount of makeup I wear. I grew up using Oil of Olay, now I use their Definity. If I use anything else I break out in welts not pimples. I started using Bare Minerals about 5 years ago with no (-0-) problems. No blackheads, nothing unless I'm on my period. I'm 46.

The main thing I've learned is do/use what works for you. Just because it works for me doesn't mean it will for you.

Good Luck!

Thumbnail by MySharona
Auburn, AL(Zone 8a)

If you like to wear it for a change then do...but plz do toss out the old stuff. bacteria can and DOES grow on old brushes and sponges and gets transfered to the powders. As others have said start light and wear what your comfy with.

Central FL, FL(Zone 9b)

On Jan. 16 Renwings posted that she gave up on the idea of wearing makeup. I still think that "granola girls" do use makeup, too. :)

Auburn, AL(Zone 8a)

ahh I got several tree huggin, granola gal pals and they wear make up...look very nice wearing it too! LOL course we did talk one of em into a perm that I'm still not allowed to mention....but....

Toronto, ON(Zone 5b)

apparently, lipstick/lipgloss and eyeliner are not considered putting "make-up" on your face according to my friends. I didn't know this because I don't wear much, or not at all whenever I go to school. To me makeup is already the above that I mentioned. I don't know, but i think it depends on what you're comfortable in. Or maybe just start out with lipstick and eyeliner and gradually increase to eyeshadow and a bit of blush kinda thing.

Marysville, OH

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Sioux City, IA(Zone 4b)

Hi raccoon...you might change your mind when you are a little older! But, enjoy being young, hey, it is nice to see some young folks here at DG!

Marysville, OH

[deleted by admin]

Sioux City, IA(Zone 4b)

=) I peeked at your journal..Hey, good luck with your garden at school...did you get permission yet?


Guilford, CT(Zone 7a)

Makeup is an individual & personal choice, like the clothing we wear or the decor of our homes.
I like how cosmetics can transform people, especially if it makes them feel good about themselves. Now if they would only regulate what goes into the cosmetics... But we can find cosmetics that are free of toxins & chemicals, & make our preferences known to the manufacturers by purchasing only those particular cosmetics. Perhaps then they will listen.

Sioux City, IA(Zone 4b)

I see raccoon got removed...parents must not have approved?

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