Photo by Melody

Equine Forum: You've probably already seen this... horsey humor....

Communities > Forums > Equine Forum
bookmark
Forum: Equine ForumReplies: 8, Views: 131
Add to Bookmarks
-
AuthorContent
Pagancat
(Sheryl) Gainesboro, TN
(Zone 6b)

November 27, 2006
2:09 PM

Post #2947461

The Horse Manual of Appropriate Behaviour

SNORTING: Humans like to be snorted on. Everywhere. It is you duty, as the family horse, to accommodate them.

NEIGHING: Because you are a horse, you are expected to neigh. So neigh - a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting the barn and communicating with other horses. Especially very late at night.

STOMPING CATS: When standing on cross ties, make sure you never --- quite --- stomp on the barn cat's tail. But keep stomping.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the architectural industry... chew on your stall wall, the fence or any other wooden item.

BEDDING: It is good manners to urinate in the middle of your freshly bedded stall to let your humans know how much you appreciate their hard work.



Feel free to add any of your own rules...

DINING: Always pull all of your hay out of the hay rack, especially right after your stall has been cleaned, so you can mix the hay with your fresh bedding. This challenges your human, the next time they're cleaning your stall - and we all know how humans love a challenge (that's what they said when they bought you as a two-year-old, right?).

DOORS: Any door, even partially open, is an opportunity for you and your human to exercise. Bolt out of the door and trot around, just out of reach of your human, who will happily chase you. The longer it goes on, the more fun it is for all involved.

HOLES: Rather than pawing and digging a big hole in the middle of the paddock or stall and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over. They won't notice this if you carefully arrange little piles of dirt. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

GROUND MANNERS: Ground manners are very important to humans; break as much of the ground in and around the barn as possible. This lets the ground know who's boss, and impresses your human.

NUZZLING: Always take a BIG drink from your water trough immediately before nuzzling your human. Humans prefer clean muzzles. Be ready to rub your head on the area that you just nuzzled to dry it off, too.

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while frolicking in the paddock, use one of the other horses to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself. Then the other horse will get a visit from the mean ol' vet, not you!

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of horses. Rock back and forth on the cross-ties, neighing loudly and pawing playfully at this person. If the human backs away and starts crying, advance swiftly, stamp your feet, and neigh louder to show your concern.

This thread has 8 replies. This forum is accessible only to subscribing members of Dave's Garden. There are many free features here, and about half of our forums are completely open to all members. Take a tour of our site and learn more about Dave's Garden, and explore the benefits of becoming a subscribing member.

Want to join? Register here. Already signed up? Click here to login!


Other Equine Forum Threads you might be interested in:

SubjectThread StarterRepliesLast Post
What I'm teaching Cynister Jenks 6 Jun 21, 2007 9:58 PM
My herd in pictures dmcdevitt 49 Jun 23, 2007 12:20 AM
What do you think caused these injuries? Jenks 36 Jun 23, 2007 12:25 AM
You probably already have a toxic plant list, right? mdvaden 42 Jul 13, 2009 12:50 AM
Did you Love the Man from Snowy River? HollyAnnS 65 Mar 9, 2007 7:49 PM


We recommend Firefox
Overwhelmed? There's a lot to see here. Try starting at our homepage.

[ Home | About | Advertise | Media Kit | Mission | Featured Companies | Submit an Article | Terms of Use | Tour | Rules | Privacy Policy | Contact Us ]

Back to the top

Copyright © 2000-2014 Dave's Garden, an Internet Brands company. All Rights Reserved.
 

Hope for America