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Sick Of Leeches

(Zone 1)

I know this is a rant and not going to be productive at all but I am just tired of this scenario and I was curious to know if others are in a similar position. I haven't listed my Have item's for long ( or have more then 1/5th listed ) but I have already noticed an unpleasent trend. The majority of requests I receive are one-liner requests for a particular plant. This request is almost always by someone who has recently joined the site or contributed very very little to it ( ie. 1 image and 1 comment on a plant ). This bugs me enough as it is but combined with the lack of courtesy in these requests ( ie. no Please and just general greedy demanding tones ) I am slowly being brought to a simmer. I have already decided to no longer respond to these requests as I am tired of feeling guilty when I have to type back that I can't fulfill their needs. I just find it really sad and upsetting and a bad indication of how our society has become. I am sure I am not alone and I am sure it is a good reason why many would not even want to post their have lists because of the attention that comes with it. I just wish people in general could be more courteous and considerate and aware that I ( or any other Dg'er) am not put here to serve their needs and that for once maybe they could include offering me something they have or at least saying please! Now that being said I have had two very positive messages sent to me that were both kind and considerate and aware that this plant trade is not suppose to be a one way street for them. Ok my rant is over. I am sure this is a totally useless rant as most of the people doing these requests will never see the forums unless they google searched something and can use the forum to mine for information. I just wanted to vent.

Westocast73

P.S. I am aware I contribute very little in the forums but figure I have done plenty with the images/comments to make up for my introverted browsing =P

Tampa, FL(Zone 10a)

I have to agree with you about the folks who visit the trade lists with the attitude of 'give to me because....' and offer nothing but a 'Thanks' in return.

A good soul would visit a traders 'want list' right after the 'have list' to see if a trade was possible.

I had to remove over half my 'have' plants because they are rare (and apparently very desireable).

If and when I do reply to a request I let people know in my first reply that I am only interested in trading for plants and seeds that are not generally available. I can make a trip to the nursery or seed catalog if I want zinnia seeds.

Thumbnail by DaleTheGardener
Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

Hey Dale i still feel in debt to you though. I did get a reciept in todays post about those seeds i bought you, to go some way to paying you back.
I agree about some people. When i have offered fun trades i have noticed the same people asking for seeds. Even though they asked someone else for the same seeds!

They surely must have the worlds largest seed mountain. they can't be sowing them all.

They did take offence at me mentioning it and stopped asking me for stuff. But i notice they still ask every person who mentions a swap/have list in trading forums.

But hey thats people for you!

Mike

Hey dale you want rare! check this baby out! heheh

Thumbnail by mike_freck
North Augusta, ON

I might occasionally be guilty of that without knowing it...but, hey, Canada doesn't have anything rare!!!!! Unfortunately, people in the south have greater access to the unusual...I can't even find a decent begonia up here......

Tampa, FL(Zone 10a)

LeeAnne, you are an earnest gardener trapped in a bad climate. Your trades have been fair. I am most annoyed by people who ask things for free because they ...blah blah blah. There are no free rides on this bus!

Mike, I get a big kick out of shipping seeds and plants to the EU. It is such a shame that all the goods and services we take for granted aren't available. I like sending a few seeds, knowing they will be well grown and appreciated (the Brit's are all gardeners at heart). It really bothers me that Lizzy can't get her tubers locally. I watched that thread for weeks and I finally couldn't stand it anymore. Those tubers are a waste product here, so my investment is very small. And it is just plain old 'good karma' to help out distressed gardeners. And when she finally gets them I will ask her to send me some recycled post cards (of gardens, plants, flowers, architecture etc to add to my post card collection).

I am considering just getting rid of my trades list. I already have so many plants and access to growers on the wholesale level. I don't need trade, I just like to get uncommon plants into the hands of gardeners that will appreciate (and share) them.

When I get contacted by someone who doesn't post I ignore them. I usually only pursue those people who are active in the discussions (and they had better have been nice to me or else LOL).

North Augusta, ON

Postcard collection you say :))) How bout some from the 30's???? I have a whole book of em here I may have looked at once....prob'ly have the stamps on em too.......now....where did I put those.......

Ballintleva, Ireland

Hi Guys,
I totally, totally agree with your "Rant" ...on all points ....and I am relatively new to DG and to gardening. I have had exactly the same issues happen to me in a very short period of time and don't have anything rare like you more experienced gardeners!
At one time I was thinking not to bother collecting seeds this year, apart from things I wanted to plant...and just concentrating on buying the plants I would like.

However....This morning I received a wonderful box not only containing 11 plants - but also 12 packets of seeds. The amazing thing is that each and every one is a plant suitable to my situation...(Ireland = Damp!)
The lady had asked a few questions, and suggested plants that I hadn't even heard of.
and...she doesn't want anything at all in return (I'm going to send her a different type of present)

So - I reckon...for every bad egg there's a fab one too!
Sue

Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

I have never bothered posting my have list as there is too much other info like where and when plus germination details etc.

Threegardeners..... you do have rare.... your weeds are probably my sought after rare plants! I'm currently looking for Eryngium's (sea holly) some of the hardest to get hold of are are native north american, but because there weeds nobody has seeds!
If you get me any of the ones i'm looking for i'll get you begonias! lol

What about the fab ones that vanish? There was one that i did swap with and before my seeds had come up the where gone! Now they are in flower and still no sign of them!

Mike

Pic is of my seed database! (sad or what!)

Thumbnail by mike_freck
Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

mike, I was lurking,,,,, and noticed you want sea holly-I have no seeds, but plants. Don't know if they would survive the trip, but the plants have a long taproot. I'll have to look up th exact type, I'm not sure. I love sending things overseas!

Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

Hi Tropicanna,
Cheers loads for the offer. Not sure if they would survive or not. I recieved a Rice paper plant last year and that is doing really well now. So i suppose its possible.
Would be good if you know what type it is do you have a picture of the flower? I have alot of the more common ones. The other thing is if it does flower then wait till it produces seed. They germinate easy enough in the right conditions, and are much cheaper to post.

Thanks loads

Mike

Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

Tropicanna, Just checked your want list. hehe If my Rice paper plant seeds or grows big enough to send a piece i will. lol
I see you are into gingers, I bought one this year but not seeing any growth yet though!

Mike

North Augusta, ON

I think everybody, if nothing else, should at least make a want list....that way people can see right off what you want. If they don't have what you want, they might not bother you as much as they will if they see what you have........

Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

Mike,

Yes, I am in the process of trying to grow gingers, and in some cases, not suceeding ;) Hedychiums seem to be easiest for me, you are in a much warmer zone and they should do well.

I'll have to look up my sea holly, it probably is common-lol

Tampa, FL(Zone 10a)

I only have one ginger>a photo from plant piles>

Thumbnail by DaleTheGardener
Columbia, MO(Zone 5b)

I have only traded once so far because although I love to garden I did not know how to pack and send stuff. I had the most wonderful experience with a fellow gardener who lived in florida that sent me things that were common there but somewhat exotic here. I sent him various things that I thought would not be very common there and we each ended up happy I think. It was a lot of fun. That is the way it should work. I have had experience with other things though and it always seems to me that there are a lot of greedy unappreciative people out there, but when you find a good one it makes up for some of that. Just so you know, even though I have not had personal experience with any of you, you are so very appreciated!

Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

dale-that is a lovely ginger, looks like a globba?

mike-my sea holly is common, either planum or ameth-whatever. Prob. not a bad idea I looked it up :) It was nice to offer rice paper seeds and cuttings. Good luck on your ginger, hope it performs well :)

Yorkshire,

I'd overlooked this thread somehow until this morning's browse and thought I'd step in and say 'Hi!' and add a few words.
First of all, I love to trade for anything different. I've had lots of lovely seed trades with other DGers and (this I must empathise) the germination rate from most (not all -'most') of the seeds received in trades is FAR greater than seeds I've bought anywhere else on the internet. I put this down to the DG members knowledge and honesty. Only they know how fresh the seeds they are trading are. I always trade very fresh seeds, it is only fair to the person who is trying to grow that plant from the seeds I supply. I don't know how to get every seed to germinate (I wish I did, so that I could pass on that knowledge), but it is better than a box of chocolates (for me) when I see any seed that is new to me growing. Some lovely people on DG have sent me seeds for Daturas and Brugmansias and I'm loving every second of growing those and watching the plants develop. I'd never even seen a Mirabilis (4 o'clock) before and now I have lots of lovely, baby 4'o'clocks...thanks again to the generosity of my DG friends.
The way I see it is....the world is a big place, with good and bad in every area (yes, even gardening) and it's up to us to try to spread some good Karma, as someone else pointed out. I love the thought of someone else in another country trying to grow seeds/plants I've sent them. Over the years I've tried to shrug off the bad experiences because having so many good gardening friends makes up for the one or two bad ones.
I hadn't meant to turn this thread into my own personal soapbox (sorry westo!), but for me at least I've had many good trades. Unfortunately I can't trade my actual plants with people outside Europe....................Oh, how I wish I could, but 'rules-is-rules' and they're there for a reason.

Just my few penn'orth, for what it's worth.

Terri

(Zone 1)

Terri - No Hijacking. I am glad from the sounds of it most of your experiences have been positive. For the most part any trade ( with the exception of one) I have actually done has gone very smoothly.

Willow - Glad you can relate. I know with my reduced have list I won't be getting as many messages. Glad you had a recent positive experience

Tropicanna - I have/had gingers and I agree the Hedychium are the least finicky. I am down to just a Hedychium Filigree. Mainly for space reasons since none can be left out at winter here.

Threegardens - Good suggestion on the want list. I have been very busy this spring so hadn't even finished my have list.

Dale - I would be surprised if I even got a thanks from some of these people. Whats worse is I am sure most of them are from my generation. =(

Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

One last note-lol

I'd be happy to be solicited for a trade on Internat'l trading anytime :)

and westocast, I wonder if we're from the same generation-lol

Yorkshire,

LOL, me too Tropicana, me too!!

Terri

Powder Springs, GA(Zone 7b)

Nothing worse than sending something and not even get a thank you or an offer of something in return. It certainly makes me go a lot slower on any kind of trades.

Now I let them know up front that I expect something even if it just covers postage and an extra dollar or two to cover materials and a little gas money (like a dollar will even pay for a trip to the post office anymore).

The other thing I detest is a nag. When you finally say you will send something but that the time isn't right (weather usually or maybe the plant needs a little more time to put some size on) and for them to remind you in 4 weeks or more, but they start nagging you a week later is when I usually quit even responding at that point.

Then there are ones that agreed to pay for P&H and don't come across and then I have to start reminding them. Drives me crazy.

I'm just glad I am not in the plant business. No wonder so many mail order places take your money right away and then deliver weeks later and then some are downright awful when you do get your order.

Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

The world would be a lovely place if it wasn't for other people!

Mike

Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

Mike, I finally remembered -duh!- you helped me find a sense of humor this winter. Thanks so much!!! I owe you one-lol You need some ginger or something.....

Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

Lol Laughing is free! Especially when its at my expense..... hehe

Mike

Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

OK-ironically this thread is about people asking too much with trading. I have posted white butterfly ginger (I know a lot of people have it) on the trading page with no results, and now mike will not even take ginger I am trying to give to him! lol -go figure

Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

heheh... Sorry didn't think you where serious.... But to be honest i'm not sure i can grow them yet. So far mine is not doing much. Time will tell!
Gingers are still a new thing over here. Its funny there are a few plants that you all grow that the Uk hasnt jumped on yet.

I tried to give away some of the nettles from my garden and nobody took them! They where nice too. Id trained them to only sting nasty people! You know like my mother inlaw. heheh

Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

Hey, mine is here now-I need some nettles-lol!!!

Tampa, FL(Zone 10a)

Lucky for us, I think the leeches have ESP. I haven't had a request for an expensive/rare plant for a month.

Of course I took all the uncommon plants off my trade page. I have been lurking in the shadows of many threads and when I see a plant that is hard to find I usually Dmail them, the direct approach, rather than put an offer in a thread. A 'public' offer only invites trouble.

Well, time to scurry off to the shadows....

This is me waving>

Thumbnail by DaleTheGardener
Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

I found another plant recently that has a sting. i thought it was only nettles! Might even get the wife with this one... heheh

Dale is sneaky!

(Zone 1)

Tropicana - I am 23 so I am from a pretty poor generation. =P

I like the looks of that White Butterfly Ginger alot but sadly my overwintering space is very limited so I know I couldn't take you up on that offer. Plus I hate that Phytosanitary cost. I understand the reasons behind the Phytosanitary thing but its still a lot of cost if your not getting a plant of great value to you.

Dale - I removed some on my list as well and havent had a request since posting this little rant. I think though part of the reason is probably spring is now upon the whole of North America and less dim wits (I know I am mean) are trying to freeload a new plant for their garden. I think April in general is always the worst month. I use to Offer SASE offers at gardenweb on the Canadian Exchange and I always found April to be the month I would get the most letters with either no postage on the return envelope or no return envelope or no written note of the seeds requested. Drove me crazy and is one reason I never bothered to save so many seeds last fall. Which is a shame cause in doing that I forgot to save a few varieties of my favourite Sunflowers and had to buy them. I like your philosphy of trying to be the one engaging the offers as opposed to sitting back waiting for them. I guess if you advertise the fact you got something your bound to attract unwanted attention.

HCMCDOLE - I had one trade where I sent a leaf cutting and got nothing in return. I chased up on it and kept getting excuses. They got the cutting even had the nerve to message me a month later saying it had rooted and they would try mail mine soon. I just gave up on it and have been more particular about who I will trade with. I am more comfortable and happier mailing someone something as a gift then being screwed around on a trade.

Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

I think you should at least make your wants list-people might not bug you if you only have hard to get stuff on it. I have really only had a few trades gone bad and I have tried to everything to make others happy with trading. Sometimes it is not perfect, but don't let the fun be sucked out of it for you, OK? ;)

westocast, I am 29 :) You're 23, are you hot? Probably should ask if you're a dude first. Just joking, lol -keep your sense of humor!

Tampa, FL(Zone 10a)

I will trade this palm next to my truck for postage.

Thumbnail by DaleTheGardener
Yorkshire,

Dale, that crept up on me unexpected and made me choke on my drink (ever had hot tea come down your nose??) ROFL
That looks like just the thing I need to keep the neighbours kids from climbing over the fence. On second thoughts though, they'd probably be immune to the spines and end up killing it like they've killed my clematis and even my big thorny rose is beginning to look sickly.
Have you heard that old saying, 'Where there's no sense there's no feeling'?
On a serious note though Westo, don't let a few bad trades put you off trading with other genuine folk. I grow plants to sell and help pay my bills....but, by far the most pleasure comes from doing trades. Can you write a little 'clause' saying you'll only mail out your side of the deal after receiving their part. That works when trading craft items on a completely different internet site. Genuine traders would still be interested and you'd still enjoy doing your trades. Just a thought.
23?? What a nice age to be!! Now I'll trade you for that anytime :o))

Terri

Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

Tropic... so do i sniff the scent of a lady? Lol Maybe at 31 i'm getting a bit passed it though. I think someone told me men are in there peak at 18! I can't even remember being 18. ...... I am hot though.... think the heating is broke!

Dale you just answered the question i posted in the other thread.

Mike

Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

"getting a bit passed it "-lol! I certainly hope not, or else there's not much to look forward to, right....

Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

Heheh. You reply to my comment on being passed it but not on the one about my heating being broken and thats why i'm hot! lol ........... Can we rename this thread to "mikes on the pull" Only joking ... honestly ... My wife wont let me date other women... shes such a prude. heheh

Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

I hear you, mike, my fiance won't let me date other men--how uptight!
But mike if your heating is broken and you're still hot, then you might be kinda hot-lol

I was trying to get westocast to snicker a bit, but I think I scared him off!

Lincoln, United Kingdom(Zone 8b)

Now over here a Snicker is a chocolate bar so not sure where you are going with that! lol

I like my women like i like my coffee.....
weak and bitter! heheh


Clemmons, NC(Zone 7b)

Ok- should have said laugh a bit.

Many places you could go with the coffee reference-but I might get into trouble there!

(Zone 1)

Tropicana - Nah you didn't scare me off. As I said in the early stages off this thread I am introverted and don't use the forums much. As for am I hot? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what not. Although to be honest I am not attracted to myself so =P. I re-uploaded my profile image ( it seems it got removed at some point? ) so judge for yourself.

As for dale's offer on the palm. I can pick it up but can you dig it up for me? =O

Terri1948 I think you are forgetting that at 23 you probably didnt have job stability or financial stability. 23 is great from a purely physical perspective but financially and emotionally it's a little more complicated! ( at least I hope things get less complex with age and experience! ) =P

The clause would work I guess but I just wish it didn't have to get to that point. I guess I am young and naive and was hoping the world of gardeners was different from the rest of society and sadly it appears it isn't.

Sorry about the kids climbing over the fence. My neighbourhood is pretty kid free thankfully!. ( trust me you don't want to hear my rant about kids as I feel as sick of them as leeches! )

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