I know this is a rant and not going to be productive at all but I am just tired of this scenario and I was curious to know if others are in a similar position. I haven't listed my Have item's for long ( or have more then 1/5th listed ) but I have already noticed an unpleasent trend. The majority of requests I receive are one-liner requests for a particular plant. This request is almost always by someone who has recently joined the site or contributed very very little to it ( ie. 1 image and 1 comment on a plant ). This bugs me enough as it is but combined with the lack of courtesy in these requests ( ie. no Please and just general greedy demanding tones ) I am slowly being brought to a simmer. I have already decided to no longer respond to these requests as I am tired of feeling guilty when I have to type back that I can't fulfill their needs. I just find it really sad and upsetting and a bad indication of how our society has become. I am sure I am not alone and I am sure it is a good reason why many would not even want to post their have lists because of the attention that comes with it. I just wish people in general could be more courteous and considerate and aware that I ( or any other Dg'er) am not put here to serve their needs and that for once maybe they could include offering me something they have or at least saying please! Now that being said I have had two very positive messages sent to me that were both kind and considerate and aware that this plant trade is not suppose to be a one way street for them. Ok my rant is over. I am sure this is a totally useless rant as most of the people doing these requests will never see the forums unless they google searched something and can use the forum to mine for information. I just wanted to vent.
P.S. I am aware I contribute very little in the forums but figure I have done plenty with the images/comments to make up for my introverted browsing =P
I have to agree with you about the folks who visit the trade lists with the attitude of 'give to me because...' and offer nothing but a 'Thanks' in return.
A good soul would visit a traders 'want list' right after the 'have list' to see if a trade was possible.
I had to remove over half my 'have' plants because they are rare (and apparently very desireable).
If and when I do reply to a request I let people know in my first reply that I am only interested in trading for plants and seeds that are not generally available. I can make a trip to the nursery or seed catalog if I want zinnia seeds.
Hey Dale i still feel in debt to you though. I did get a reciept in todays post about those seeds i bought you, to go some way to paying you back.
I agree about some people. When i have offered fun trades i have noticed the same people asking for seeds. Even though they asked someone else for the same seeds!
They surely must have the worlds largest seed mountain. they can't be sowing them all.
They did take offence at me mentioning it and stopped asking me for stuff. But i notice they still ask every person who mentions a swap/have list in trading forums.
But hey thats people for you!
Hey dale you want rare! check this baby out! heheh
I might occasionally be guilty of that without knowing it...but, hey, Canada doesn't have anything rare!!!!! Unfortunately, people in the south have greater access to the unusual...I can't even find a decent begonia up here...
LeeAnne, you are an earnest gardener trapped in a bad climate. Your trades have been fair. I am most annoyed by people who ask things for free because they ...blah blah blah. There are no free rides on this bus!
Mike, I get a big kick out of shipping seeds and plants to the EU. It is such a shame that all the goods and services we take for granted aren't available. I like sending a few seeds, knowing they will be well grown and appreciated (the Brit's are all gardeners at heart). It really bothers me that Lizzy can't get her tubers locally. I watched that thread for weeks and I finally couldn't stand it anymore. Those tubers are a waste product here, so my investment is very small. And it is just plain old 'good karma' to help out distressed gardeners. And when she finally gets them I will ask her to send me some recycled post cards (of gardens, plants, flowers, architecture etc to add to my post card collection).
I am considering just getting rid of my trades list. I already have so many plants and access to growers on the wholesale level. I don't need trade, I just like to get uncommon plants into the hands of gardeners that will appreciate (and share) them.
When I get contacted by someone who doesn't post I ignore them. I usually only pursue those people who are active in the discussions (and they had better have been nice to me or else LOL).
I totally, totally agree with your "Rant" ...on all points ...and I am relatively new to DG and to gardening. I have had exactly the same issues happen to me in a very short period of time and don't have anything rare like you more experienced gardeners!
At one time I was thinking not to bother collecting seeds this year, apart from things I wanted to plant...and just concentrating on buying the plants I would like.
However...This morning I received a wonderful box not only containing 11 plants - but also 12 packets of seeds. The amazing thing is that each and every one is a plant suitable to my situation...(Ireland = Damp!)
The lady had asked a few questions, and suggested plants that I hadn't even heard of.
and...she doesn't want anything at all in return (I'm going to send her a different type of present)
So - I reckon...for every bad egg there's a fab one too!
I have never bothered posting my have list as there is too much other info like where and when plus germination details etc.
Threegardeners... you do have rare... your weeds are probably my sought after rare plants! I'm currently looking for Eryngium's (sea holly) some of the hardest to get hold of are are native north american, but because there weeds nobody has seeds!
If you get me any of the ones i'm looking for i'll get you begonias! lol
What about the fab ones that vanish? There was one that i did swap with and before my seeds had come up the where gone! Now they are in flower and still no sign of them!
mike, I was lurking,,, and noticed you want sea holly-I have no seeds, but plants. Don't know if they would survive the trip, but the plants have a long taproot. I'll have to look up th exact type, I'm not sure. I love sending things overseas!
Cheers loads for the offer. Not sure if they would survive or not. I recieved a Rice paper plant last year and that is doing really well now. So i suppose its possible.
Would be good if you know what type it is do you have a picture of the flower? I have alot of the more common ones. The other thing is if it does flower then wait till it produces seed. They germinate easy enough in the right conditions, and are much cheaper to post.
Tropicanna, Just checked your want list. hehe If my Rice paper plant seeds or grows big enough to send a piece i will. lol
I see you are into gingers, I bought one this year but not seeing any growth yet though!
I think everybody, if nothing else, should at least make a want list...that way people can see right off what you want. If they don't have what you want, they might not bother you as much as they will if they see what you have...
I have only traded once so far because although I love to garden I did not know how to pack and send stuff. I had the most wonderful experience with a fellow gardener who lived in florida that sent me things that were common there but somewhat exotic here. I sent him various things that I thought would not be very common there and we each ended up happy I think. It was a lot of fun. That is the way it should work. I have had experience with other things though and it always seems to me that there are a lot of greedy unappreciative people out there, but when you find a good one it makes up for some of that. Just so you know, even though I have not had personal experience with any of you, you are so very appreciated!
dale-that is a lovely ginger, looks like a globba?
mike-my sea holly is common, either planum or ameth-whatever. Prob. not a bad idea I looked it up :) It was nice to offer rice paper seeds and cuttings. Good luck on your ginger, hope it performs well :)
I'd overlooked this thread somehow until this morning's browse and thought I'd step in and say 'Hi!' and add a few words.
First of all, I love to trade for anything different. I've had lots of lovely seed trades with other DGers and (this I must empathise) the germination rate from most (not all -'most') of the seeds received in trades is FAR greater than seeds I've bought anywhere else on the internet. I put this down to the DG members knowledge and honesty. Only they know how fresh the seeds they are trading are. I always trade very fresh seeds, it is only fair to the person who is trying to grow that plant from the seeds I supply. I don't know how to get every seed to germinate (I wish I did, so that I could pass on that knowledge), but it is better than a box of chocolates (for me) when I see any seed that is new to me growing. Some lovely people on DG have sent me seeds for Daturas and Brugmansias and I'm loving every second of growing those and watching the plants develop. I'd never even seen a Mirabilis (4 o'clock) before and now I have lots of lovely, baby 4'o'clocks...thanks again to the generosity of my DG friends.
The way I see it is...the world is a big place, with good and bad in every area (yes, even gardening) and it's up to us to try to spread some good Karma, as someone else pointed out. I love the thought of someone else in another country trying to grow seeds/plants I've sent them. Over the years I've tried to shrug off the bad experiences because having so many good gardening friends makes up for the one or two bad ones.
I hadn't meant to turn this thread into my own personal soapbox (sorry westo!), but for me at least I've had many good trades. Unfortunately I can't trade my actual plants with people outside Europe...Oh, how I wish I could, but 'rules-is-rules' and they're there for a reason.
Nothing worse than sending something and not even get a thank you or an offer of something in return. It certainly makes me go a lot slower on any kind of trades.
Now I let them know up front that I expect something even if it just covers postage and an extra dollar or two to cover materials and a little gas money (like a dollar will even pay for a trip to the post office anymore).
The other thing I detest is a nag. When you finally say you will send something but that the time isn't right (weather usually or maybe the plant needs a little more time to put some size on) and for them to remind you in 4 weeks or more, but they start nagging you a week later is when I usually quit even responding at that point.
Then there are ones that agreed to pay for P&H and don't come across and then I have to start reminding them. Drives me crazy.
I'm just glad I am not in the plant business. No wonder so many mail order places take your money right away and then deliver weeks later and then some are downright awful when you do get your order.
OK-ironically this thread is about people asking too much with trading. I have posted white butterfly ginger (I know a lot of people have it) on the trading page with no results, and now mike will not even take ginger I am trying to give to him! lol -go figure
heheh... Sorry didn't think you where serious... But to be honest i'm not sure i can grow them yet. So far mine is not doing much. Time will tell!
Gingers are still a new thing over here. Its funny there are a few plants that you all grow that the Uk hasnt jumped on yet.
I tried to give away some of the nettles from my garden and nobody took them! They where nice too. Id trained them to only sting nasty people! You know like my mother inlaw. heheh
Lucky for us, I think the leeches have ESP. I haven't had a request for an expensive/rare plant for a month.
Of course I took all the uncommon plants off my trade page. I have been lurking in the shadows of many threads and when I see a plant that is hard to find I usually Dmail them, the direct approach, rather than put an offer in a thread. A 'public' offer only invites trouble.
Tropicana - I am 23 so I am from a pretty poor generation. =P
I like the looks of that White Butterfly Ginger alot but sadly my overwintering space is very limited so I know I couldn't take you up on that offer. Plus I hate that Phytosanitary cost. I understand the reasons behind the Phytosanitary thing but its still a lot of cost if your not getting a plant of great value to you.
Dale - I removed some on my list as well and havent had a request since posting this little rant. I think though part of the reason is probably spring is now upon the whole of North America and less dim wits (I know I am mean) are trying to freeload a new plant for their garden. I think April in general is always the worst month. I use to Offer SASE offers at gardenweb on the Canadian Exchange and I always found April to be the month I would get the most letters with either no postage on the return envelope or no return envelope or no written note of the seeds requested. Drove me crazy and is one reason I never bothered to save so many seeds last fall. Which is a shame cause in doing that I forgot to save a few varieties of my favourite Sunflowers and had to buy them. I like your philosphy of trying to be the one engaging the offers as opposed to sitting back waiting for them. I guess if you advertise the fact you got something your bound to attract unwanted attention.
HCMCDOLE - I had one trade where I sent a leaf cutting and got nothing in return. I chased up on it and kept getting excuses. They got the cutting even had the nerve to message me a month later saying it had rooted and they would try mail mine soon. I just gave up on it and have been more particular about who I will trade with. I am more comfortable and happier mailing someone something as a gift then being screwed around on a trade.
I think you should at least make your wants list-people might not bug you if you only have hard to get stuff on it. I have really only had a few trades gone bad and I have tried to everything to make others happy with trading. Sometimes it is not perfect, but don't let the fun be sucked out of it for you, OK? ;)
westocast, I am 29 :) You're 23, are you hot? Probably should ask if you're a dude first. Just joking, lol -keep your sense of humor!
Dale, that crept up on me unexpected and made me choke on my drink (ever had hot tea come down your nose??) ROFL
That looks like just the thing I need to keep the neighbours kids from climbing over the fence. On second thoughts though, they'd probably be immune to the spines and end up killing it like they've killed my clematis and even my big thorny rose is beginning to look sickly.
Have you heard that old saying, 'Where there's no sense there's no feeling'?
On a serious note though Westo, don't let a few bad trades put you off trading with other genuine folk. I grow plants to sell and help pay my bills...but, by far the most pleasure comes from doing trades. Can you write a little 'clause' saying you'll only mail out your side of the deal after receiving their part. That works when trading craft items on a completely different internet site. Genuine traders would still be interested and you'd still enjoy doing your trades. Just a thought.
23?? What a nice age to be!! Now I'll trade you for that anytime :o))
Tropic... so do i sniff the scent of a lady? Lol Maybe at 31 i'm getting a bit passed it though. I think someone told me men are in there peak at 18! I can't even remember being 18. ... I am hot though... think the heating is broke!
Dale you just answered the question i posted in the other thread.
Heheh. You reply to my comment on being passed it but not on the one about my heating being broken and thats why i'm hot! lol ... Can we rename this thread to "mikes on the pull" Only joking ... honestly ... My wife wont let me date other women... shes such a prude. heheh
Tropicana - Nah you didn't scare me off. As I said in the early stages off this thread I am introverted and don't use the forums much. As for am I hot? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what not. Although to be honest I am not attracted to myself so =P. I re-uploaded my profile image ( it seems it got removed at some point? ) so judge for yourself.
As for dale's offer on the palm. I can pick it up but can you dig it up for me? =O
Terri1948 I think you are forgetting that at 23 you probably didnt have job stability or financial stability. 23 is great from a purely physical perspective but financially and emotionally it's a little more complicated! ( at least I hope things get less complex with age and experience! ) =P
The clause would work I guess but I just wish it didn't have to get to that point. I guess I am young and naive and was hoping the world of gardeners was different from the rest of society and sadly it appears it isn't.
Sorry about the kids climbing over the fence. My neighbourhood is pretty kid free thankfully!. ( trust me you don't want to hear my rant about kids as I feel as sick of them as leeches! )
westocast- AT 23 you don't really need a great job or financial stability--just enjoy it while you can. You're young AND cute! Go out and get girls and stuff, don't worry about kids, traders or anything else for that matter ( I traded with some very nice folks and ended up with awful plants and vice versa, life is everywhere). Now is the time for body shots and waking up in strange places-OK! :)
I joke all the time but REALLY I am too hot to put my picture in my profile-have enough stalkers already-lol!
This thread has been helpful. I have listed a fake plant under my have list and been able to write a short set of rules and explanations for things. I think this will help and I appreciate some of the feedback that gave me this idea.
Tropicana - I am a control freak who has never even been tipsy in my life so I don't think body shots are for me. I love to travel and have seen most of Western Europe and South East Asia though and I think thats the one thing I will continue to do in my youth. The thrill of exploring some jungle in Indonesia and a 12th century church in France appeals to me much more then sex, drugs and rock & roll. =P
West I'm scared to look at your pic incase i get depressed as you'll be younger than me! lol
You wanna try the sex drugs and rock and roll, then in a few years you will be so messed up you will think you went travelling anyway! hehehe
The thing about travelling is when your older you can do it in style and in 5 star hotels... much nicer!
Wow, you're very well traveled and lucky to have had those experiences. I can no longer make any more comments cause everything I am thinking of saying (although I am cracking myself up hard) is going to get me into trouble with either you, someone else, or mike's wife-lol!
Have fun in the Indonesian jungle though! And travel as much as you can while you have the freedom :)
And for trading-I basically only list my wants (maybe one or two low-grade haves) and I'm just pretty upfront about what I'd like to happen. Overall almost all experiences have been good-but I am generally very laid back and let people know that I have no intentions of shorting them on plants, but life does occasionally happen and delay things. Most folks have no problems with this, and even when things go bad, I think it all evens out in the end...:)
I like travelling more of the beaten path. Big hotels really dont amuse me as I am introverted and find them way too bright and way too big. Don't worry I am never ending up in Vegas. I need my legs for most of the travelling I do so I don't think it will work when/if I retire. This Abbey was so off the map in France but it was absolutely Gourgeous! Now in all honesty I would rather be exploring this then drinking myself silly. Also this thing was practically abandoned. It is a restored abbey owned by a wealthy French family. It is open for tours and has a vineyard. Only people I ran into were a young german couple and the caretaker. I absolutely love Southern France by the way.
I want to go to Machu Picchu next time I can afford a vacation. ( Time & Money ).
I guess with trading my main problem is I don't have a very good idea of my wants right now but do know my haves. I think I am happy with having my little bulletin posted in my list.
I was fortunate enough to have been dragged around many places with my parents when younger which has made me very comfortable travelling to foreign places. Born in Australia and I grew up in Indonesia as my dad was a professor there for seven years. I quite like the country and still try to go back when I can ( Airline prices dont make it something affordable to do very often though). Europe I lived in for awhile in Holland and Germany and have enjoyed visiting most of Western Europe on several trips. Canada has become home though over the past 10 years.
I have never travelled to the Carribean or South America. In fact the furthest south I have been in the America's was probably Iowa. ( At least I think thats further south then Oregon ? ) I have driven most of the northern states though except the eastern seaboard. Only been as far east as Penn. The southern states as pathetic as it might sound kind of scare/overwhelm me. lol. Guess I am afraid I will run into too many Tropicana's =P
Seriously i do know what you mean about the travelling bit. We try and mix the 2 a little by booking nice hotels in none tourist areas, then book a car or whatever to just explore during the day.
I am still too young to sit on a beach all day!
I don't want to really go anywhere colder than here-lol
Well, maybe a couple of places, but not for long-I could live in the Caribbean, though. It was a a lot more interesting and less cheesy than I expected. People are wonderful.
Vermont is pretty, as are the mtns. of Pennsylvania and New York, and I have had fun in some of the big cities up North, but I really love the South. You're right, westo-too many Tropicannas down here-lol
If you want to arm wrestle with her ... can i set the rules? Which of course i can't post here... ha ha. By the way can you change nappies? If you beat up my wife then you have to change Juniors nappies, Cause i'm no modern man! lol
Can you cook and clean too?
The pic is the right size... she is only 2 inches tall... you ever hear men talk about the "little lady"?
Seriously it was to give some scale to the size of the glacier ... and show there not as icey white as you expect.
You melted the darn glacier and that's why she looks so small.-lol
I am perfectly capable of changing nappies, cooking, and cleaning. However, my true talent is in bringing out the "modern" in any man, (they are all capable of the above tasks, you know) by using means which I , of course, cannot describe here...haha.
OK-enough already, I think I might be getting a crush on you.
No joking it really is hot today-having a new roof put on the house and the significant other doesn't want me out in the yard. Feel like I'm gonna suffocate in here.
The show me yours comment had me blushing a bit, which is hard to accomplish. Honestly, I don't post my pictures publicly cause I'm sure I'll tick someone off and their wife will come after me one day!lol
Ok your ugly... thats fine it takes all sorts to make the world go round... I'm joking...heheh
My little lady is far to independant to stay in if i asked. She helped bring me bricks when i was laying a patio she was 8 Months pregnant then. The night she gave birth we where unblocking the drains! heheh
mike-there is no chance of me ever posting a pic of myself on this forum. I would dmail you a pic, but I am not a stalker. LOL It has been established that you are using pictures of models anyway, so what difference does it make?
Alright, they are finally gone-I am so getting fresh air, even I can't take this heat!
Lavina Mae-I will definitely get your ginger packed up and sent off this weekend...have been wasting too much time being silly. Don't sweat your end, a lot of times I'd rather people receive my stuff before mailing theirs-I just feel more comfortable...but it is getting awful hot. Perfect for gingers though.
Wow, I had the feeling there was a captive audience (the views seem to be way outweighing the replies on this this thread...hmmmm), all the more reason to NOT post pictures publicly. Every pic I have has a friend or family member, and I doubt they would be too appreciative, I do respect privacy...especially when it comes to beer bellies!lol
Hey its sent... lol.. I nearly sent one of me lying on the beach drinking a beer with just my shorts on.. But i have a silly look on my face. Dont you hate cameras some times... if you try to smile you end up looking like your a looney!
LOL at you two (Mike and Tropicana).
Mike, are you trying to become 'Gazza's' next best friend. 'Five bellies' might have slimmed down a bit by now, LOL Would love to see that picture of you with the stupid expression. I could print it out and use it to keep the pigeons off the cabbage plants (just joking...honest!)
Tropic, we need to have a sense of humour to live over here, we have a bunch of clowns running our country. It's a laugh a minute, LOL
PS. Thanks for the giggle, now Mike can stop trailing the internet for pictures of male models to post. **wink**
Aha, now you see Mike, you can't catch me out like that. Those luvverly lads are from my town, unless you've had a 'Journey South' lately.
Not sure where Gazza is at the moment (what would he be doing in Boston?) I was talking to one of his friends today too (should have asked him.) Can just imagine him going for a paddle at Mablethorpe, hehehe
Denise!! How LOVELY to 'see' you!! What you say is true and to me it isn't a rant. I know how much hard work you put into growing your irises and Daylilies and I also know the quality of your plants (wonderful!) so you are justified in doing what you did. I would have done exactly the same. Like you, I do appreciate manners and fairness when I trade. 'Give aways' are completely different things to trades and I think people often **forget** this.
Take a look at this pic. It's one of your irises in bloom, and bloomin' gorgeous it is too :o)
I wish I lived nearer to you, we could do so many great trades, and I wouldn't expect 'something for nothing' either
Mike, if you're one of 'Journey South' how about a journey north :o) LOL
Gazza, coaching Boston...hahaha, my mind boggles.
Glad that the iris are doing well for you...
As you will notice I do not have a trade list or a rating here as I hardly trade anymore. Now if I trade it is plants for my own garden. That way if wrong it is not for the business but for my own enjoyment. Errors can and do happen, that I will never get ticked about but the gimme gimme gimme attitude of many new people who come into any garden forum gets to me...
Do you know every Z lister? Old Geof Capes doesn't look so strong as he once did. Actually i have a feeling this was in Boston... He does openings etc. I think this was to get grant money for sports facilities.
The thread was more of just a rant. I wasn't expecting it to go anywhere so wherever it goes is fine. I am glad ( in a sick twisted way ) that other more experienced gardeners have noticed this same gimmie trend. It sucks how people have taken such advantage of others kindness and hard work.
Irisloverdee - If I had large quantities of Iris or Daylilies I certainly wouldn't bother listing them either. I know the few plants I do list attract enough bad attention and I am sure the more popular plants like Daylilies and Iris would attract even more attention. It is sad but I think just being blunt and very picky is the only way to really be able to trade online.
Awwwwwwww, that's not nice Mike. He has a face only a mother could love, LOL
Tropicana is obviously 'smitten' (a bit like a rabbit caught in headlights, rofl)
Beauty, after all, is in the eye of the beholder :o)
Speaking of which, my variegated Geum bloomed for the first time yesterday and I've seen better looking weeds. After waiting all this time for it to bloom it is so disappointing. Ever had that feeling of your stomach sinking to your feet? Obviously someone out there liked it though.
Hi Westocast, I have recently joined Daves and feel very passionate about your original comment, I sympathise with you. I moved over to the UK some 6 years ago from the Vancouver area and am very used to the Canadian/US seeds.I have most shipped over and I do have a very big collection of some seeds. I do contribute a lot to an English forum and will happilly swap my seeds, the problem I have is that most folks want mine because they are different to what they can get here and yet it is rare that anyone has anything I can get in return, so I find invariably I ended up the loser.
I find also that some folks have no problem assuming that because I might mention something in a post, then I have spares and so I get a lot of requests, and some folks never do offer anything in return,often I get a one liner that is rather abrupt.
A kind polite request will almost always get something from me as I appreciate that folks want something new,and with those requets I am not so concerned that they have nothing to offer me.
I recently did a round robin,I started it and it eventually came back to me,I sent out some wonderful seeds all of which were taken, and I got a bag of junk back and about half the quantity too. I found this very upsetting.
I have yet to come up with a kind way of saying not interested and yet most times I am frankly not. I don't feel I should have to lie or make excusues.
I have never been involved in a round robin or large seeds swap but I do know, one mans trash is another man;s treasure and the person may have thought because he.she loved the flowers you might to. We sometimes set our expectations way to high. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder sometimes.
Also Culture deversity may be why you think others are rude.
Look at my seed list and if you see anything you think worth have I will send it to you.
You are probably very right Lavina and I should not be critical, I suppose I didn't allow for the "one mans treasure" thing as much as I should have.It is difficult to understand why I got mostly empty packets returned though and many were not the packets I sent so I think something went wrong somwhere, however it is done now so that's that.
Thank you for the offer of seeds, I actually do have have rather a lot but I am always interested in adding to a growing collection and indeed sharing ,mine too.
I will try to figure out how to look at swaps offered, and how to post one too.
I have just had another interesting experience doing a trade. I was trading a rooted plant for some cuttings and was requested to add some unrooted coleus as freebie. No problem, I cut back coleus all the time. Sent the plant and cuttings.
Got a mail a few days later with 6 photos of what I will call 'cooked cuttings'. It seems the Postal service had taken their sweet time getting the package to its destination (6-7 days). At first the email said 'just look at what you sent, don't you care?'. I pointed out that I paid for 2-3 delivery and it really wasn't my fault. I had sent free cuttings that weren't even part of the trade. After getting a few mails I finally agreed to send some more. This person had no concept that I had just made two trips to the post office, packing & paying for what was two barely rooted sticks of begonia. I figure those two cost me about $15 each, my time may not be worth much to others, but, it is to me.
I have taken every plant, except coleus, off my trade list. It is going to be very hard in the future to get me to trade anything. I will still be giving away plants and seeds when I have them, but, I am going to make sure that I get my postage up front and I won't be sending anything extra.
Anyone ever notice that there are rarely any people in my photos?
Dale, sorry to hear about your experience. I think when you get to the point where most of your stuff is rare, you get hounded pretty strongly. So sorry to hear that they were rude on top of it. Just wanted to telll folks in the US that you can print out shipping labels and arrange for the mail carrier to pick up boxes at your door (look up usps.com-print labels or carrier pick up). It is so much easier for trading.
I had a lady dmail me for cannas early in spring, I let her know I would notify her when I divided them. Heard from her a couple more times (when I was too busy to even pee) so I went out and divided them (just to have peace), and got together some other nice things she didn't ask for because she seemed like she did not have much in her garden. I dmailed her to get her address and never heard from her again...lol
But the flipside is, I have had so many people be very generous, and I've noticed a correlation between making people laugh and their generosity. I've gotten nicer boxes of plants from traders at times when I've also received boxes that weren't so great from vendors.
Dale, that's dreadful!! It wasn't your fault and to put the blame on your shoulders was totally unfair. I'm so sorry you've had such a bad experience. That was enough to put anyone off trading again.
I think that there will always be people 'out there' who will not stop to consider the time, effort, expense and trouble people go to when sending plants through the mail. The amount of work that goes into digging, splitting, selecting nice, healthy plants, packing and labelling them and then packing and mailing the package is tremendous and most people appreciate that. Many of us have to travel some distance to the nearest post office and we do it because of our love of gardening and to share with other like-minded people. I've been very fortunate that every person I've traded with has been appreciative and grateful. Just as well because an experience like the one you had would put me off for good.
Sue, don't let Dale's nasty experience put you off trading. Some/most of us appreciate it when people offer us lovely plants that we don't already have. There will always be a few bad experiences for all of us if we do lots of trades. Perhaps we should just make sure that our trading partners have manners :o) Trading is a lovely way of getting to know people and to learn about their lives and the plants they like to grow. Yes, we can always go out and buy plants, but then we're not going to get that great feeling that comes with sharing and building 'good Karma', are we?
Oh Dale how sad, I have had a few bad things happen but overall I have been lucky. .
I have some nice coleus from Sugar that are doing great but I was lucky I found them on my pourch before we left for the coast or they would have fried but I would never point out things the wasy that person did. It takes lots of time to do trades.
I needed a good laugh and the Gnome has made my day.
My pet peeve is when you ask for SASBE and they send regular envelope and 39 cent/ 42 cent stamp on it and want 5 different kinds of seeds.
Because of new rate change to 42 cents and bubble envelope small has gone to $1.13 regardless of weight its a mess. I got 4 envelopes this week with 79 cents on it and 34 cents postage due..
And yeah this AM I put 12 envelopes back in the mail with seeds in them and bubbles for the regular envelopes . Plus I put their regular envelope back in the bubble in case they are new and don't understand things yet.I don't mind sending 1 thing of seeds in a regular envelope but learned the 1st year after 3 people told me they got envelopes that were torn and some seeds gone that I had to do something.
Oh my...I can't believe I have NEVER seen the feedback part!!!!
I've just been in to have a look...and I'm thinking of all those traders that must be disappointed that I didn't leave some for them!
How on earth did I manage to miss this!
Wow dale that really does suck. My life has been rather quiet ever since this thread. Have had one trade request that I didn't initiate and it was only for some seeds. I think the lurkers have read my post and are now afraid of me. =P
As for the mooning gnomes. I believe these are the objects e-bay was created for LOL.
Hope everyone had a great spring cause summer is a coming. =D
Willow, ones doesn't use swear words, trust me... it'd be the last word we heard from you! lol
How does a plastic gnome use ebay? i thought you needed a credit card! Have they got there own bank?
I had a mad splurge on sending and doing trades in the autumn but once spring is here my spare time is spent outside, So no trades for me till then really.
I reckon people don't realise there being rude... i'd like to think i have traded fairly and generously but there is allways someone that will think otherwise... but if they do they have said nothing so i can't rectify the problem... if they did i would sort anything out ASAP.
Flatery gets you everywhere... well normally it would... But this time i don't have any...
I have had a disaster with alot of plants this year... due to a cold spell... scarid fly ... and the over use of a pesticide to try and kill them off...(not that it worked) i'm now on biological controls to slow them down..
I have some growing so hopefully later in the year they will have flowered... by this time last year they where nearly 6ft so far this year the biggest is less than 1ft !!!
I have 4 that are looking great. I hope to get lots of seeds from them. They are about 2 feet but its my fault cause I started them late. Saw a 3 gallon bucket at a nursey in Georgia that was about 3 foot high and it was selling for $35.wow I never thought it would go for that much.
I understand the plant killing I sprayed trying to kill wisteria on the porch rails year before last and didn't think about the wind and killed everything except some sedum. It died but put back out. This year the heat went off in the basement and froze all my stuff.
I am one of the lucky recipients of dale_a_gardeners kindness...last year I posted a want for white ipomoea carnea seeds.. (on seed trading forum). not really expecting to find them...until dale came to the rescue..this man was very generous with the seeds(I did send seeds in return ..but don't know if they grew)You are a really good person dale and I would like to think you represent middle america...people like you make these forums really worthwhile...I always love to look at your pics too.Heres one of the ipomoeas ..Thanks Dale I just love it and so do the meat ants lol!
Brical, your welcome. Nice looking plant too. Generous? They are seeds after all, the plants will make more. lol
The yellow 'daisy' germinated and grew - briefly. We have so many problems with pests and disease here. I am not sure what took them. I try not to tell people that I failed, not good for my online persona.
Seed trades have never been a problem, they are inexpensive to send and I don't have to drive anywhere, the postman will pick them up. I have given away seeds more than once. Plants are another matter. Time consuming to grow, expensive to send.
For me the worst part of plant trading has been the lack of plants that are unique. I am always looking for new varieties, things that are not grown in the millions. Since I can go to the wholesaler and buy a 4" coleus for less than a dollar finding a new cultivar is a challenge.Most plants, that most members have, are bought at a nursery. In the US if you see a new color of geranium at the nursery I probably saw it at a trade show a couple of years ago and got one. I am like Mike, I order seeds from companies that the average gardener doesn't even know exists.
Plant trading is just not a very productive activity. I am going to switch my energy over to Photo Safari, trips to public gardens are a lot more fun.
Wow! I just happened on this thread and guess I should've been here earlier. I've gotta say that I have had 2 traders that disappeared on me, but others have been so fun...including Tropicanna and LavinaMae! I'd send either of them whatever I had with no problem and no expectations. They've both been quite generous as I hope they would say of me.
The one thing that happened to me on the forum that was upsetting had nothing to do with unreturned trades, it was with someone who listed lots of 'haves' but no 'wants' on their trade lists. There were several things that were interesting on the have list, so I d-mailed. I also asked what sort of trades this person was looking for. After another exchange, I took some shots in the dark and offered some suggestions for trading. At this time, the person d-mailed back that she was a grower and got requests all the time from people bascially wanting 'something for nothing'. Gotta tell you that stung and put me off trading for a while. I have never asked someone for something without offering things for trade in good faith. How would I have known that someone listing things on the tradeslist would be a grower??? I was just looking at some rain lilies for goodness sake. I wanted to mail back and tell the person that I can drive to Plant Delights any day and have my pick of rain lilies...don't mind paying for what I want. Instead I politely excused myself for wasting her time. Still don't think that I was in the wrong. But why would someone mail back or post on the list if they didn't intend to trade? Is there something I'm missing here?
Oh, gee! I'm ususally so much fun and now I'm on MY soapbox! Right Kara?
Bev,I'vehad that happen too...disapearing traders...but I think the ones like dale have more than made up for the others...there are so many good people on these forums ..they make up for the rest.cheers
I think a 'goofy thread' would be a lot of fun. After all, everyone here at Dave's has a good sense of humour...don't they?
Dale that moth is beautiful, how big was it? I'm trying to judge it's size from the leaves in the picture, but that's not easy :(
Bev, so sorry to hear about your 'something for nothing' experience. Enough to have put you off trading for good. Good grief! Why advertise that you have plants to trade if you don't also have a 'wish list'. That's just inviting problems IMO
I also think Mike should be at the top of the goofy thread, LOL (wink, wink)
The small hibcus leaf on the left, over the wing, is about 1" (2.5cm), wing tip to wing tip about 12-15cm. Had not seen that kind before, a nocturnal moth. No surprise there, since I don't go out at night. I have very poor night vision. She was hiding out in the front flowerbed and was disturbed when I was hand watering.
Goodness, Dale. I so love your eye candy. All the fun, and none of the calories;-)
And thanks for the comments, folks. I suppose that I feel better having ranted 'out loud'. I'm very happy that I got over it, and continued to trade. I've met some great people this way, and consider it worth it to have gotten burned a couple of times. It's certainly not a profit game for me. I'm having a great time and getting to know some fantastic people from all over!
I used to have what I dubbed 'trowel tours' with a couple of ladies close by, but our habits and hours have changed so we've lost touch. This is the same type of thing, right?
Keep sending the candy, Dale. I used to have to buy magazines to satisfy my 'sweet tooth':->>>
Nice pics, Dale!I honestly can't think of many dumb things other people have said on forums, but I can sure recall a few dumb comments I've made..lol!
And Bev, it's so hard to imagine someone not being nice to you, you really are that rare type of trader that sends nice plants, and has a great sense of humor. So if you feel refreshed, it's alright to get on your soap box every once in awhile!
Wow Dale!! That's ***some*** plant!! What is it?? It's amazing!
Thanks for the info on the beautiful moth, I doubt I'll ever see one that big in my garden, although mykitten once caught what I believe must have been a monster moth. Sadly, she'd been playing with it for a long time before I grabbed her away from the poor, wingless remains. I still feel bad about that 20 years later :o( But it was proof that we do have a few large moths in UK.
Keep posting that eye-candy, and thanks!!
And BTW, I love your white butterfly ginger. It's coming up like crazy and making me very happy!
I DO feel refreshed, and am now officially off the soapbox! See, Westo...it really was productive after all;-)
westocast73, you are so right!! I recently became a member and did a few trades and I do send a healthy mailing of plants or bulbs since I don't do well with seeds. I have gotten some real bad trades that makes me wondered ...why bother?
Don't send what you would not like to receive and don't be greedy!!
I haven't had the greedy experiences that some of you have been through. I tend to only be able to keep up with the fairly common stuff as far as seeds go. I'm not brave enough to try to ship plants or bulbs yet. I have a big wishlist but it is mainly for my own reference and truly don't expect anyone here to ante up:) I'll spontaneously offer some seeds for a trade or get into a swap but I'm nervous about just posting a Have List and being bogged down in requests.
I've seen where some of the newer posters with want a rather exotic or rare plant/seed/cutting and only have cosmos and marigold seeds for trades. I've gotten together with a couple of members and combined our orders from a couple of seed companies like Chiltern and Fedco. We each got some we individually had wanted and shared some other stuff that we both were interested in. I hope I haven't been guilty of being greedy here in the trading area and will always keep that in mind if a trade opportunity comes up.
dmac085, that is a splendid way of sharing. I haven't been at the site long enough to fit into a group as yet. When I do trade and get seeds in return, I usually asked the senders not to send me too many seeds since I only need enough to get a few live plants from the trade and I asked only for the seeds that I would like to grow.
well, well, lol...been awhile since I've looked at this thread.
It's been a good year for trading, overall, but honestly the only problems I've had were with people that contacted me for plants (instead of the other way around) not returning their end of the deal. But I still think people should be able to feel comfortable posting a have list as long as they are also comfortable saying no sometimes to folks. At least list your wants, kinda saves everyone the time of having to repeat themselves :)
I just wanted to add that after I see that someone has something to offer in the seed exchange that I would like, the FIRST place I go to is their WANT list. I want to make sure that I have something they would like before I take a tour of their HAVE list. It is kind of self preservation also, because I hate to drool over seeds that I am looking for only to realize I have nothing that member wants, lol! On top of that, I try to make a list of what I have to offer that they would like, and what I would like, to send to the member in the first email. To me, that shows that I am truly interested and a good trader. At times I do email a member even if I don't think I have anything to trade that they are looking for and list some things I don't have on my HAVE list. Those I keep for "special" trades. I have only been a member here since December, but my Mama taught me to say "please and thank you". Sooooooooo, thank you to all of you that represent the great traders.
Kathy from Ohio U.S.A.
Gotta say, I got a lot of chuckles from this thread. I stumbled across it looking for a Trading Primer, because I'm a total newbie to the whole trading deal, and I don't want to be one of those greedy people, or send too little and then get a huge pack and feel like a heel. Maybe I'll just watch and learn a while longer before I try it. . .too intimidating, and I do hate to feel like I've disappointed someone. Guess I need to learn more about how much to send, how to pack it, etc. before I try it.
Anyway, thanks for all the laughs! Got a kick out of all the flirting and bashing. . .
So sorry but I need to vent somewhere and I think this is the perfect place. I am waiting for admin to remove a positive feedback that I left for a trader. It's only been about 24 hours and admin have not gotten back to me yet. I would be surprise if they did.
So, this new member contacted me about rose cuttings and said that she has so and so that I wanted and wanted to know if I wanted to trade her these other rose cuttings. Well, I had just gotten those rose cuttings in another trade, so I didn't need them, so I said no thank you. She sends me another dmail saying may be I might want to trade my knock out roses for so and so. Well, I have plenty of KO roses. Being a generous gardener I told her my mother have some KO roses too and if she wanted some, I would send her some of those too. To make this story short, I sent her the cuttings PRIORITY MAIL. She lives out in a rural area so the post office sent the package to the wrong address and she didn't get it until 4 days later. I wanted to comment that while we were communicating, after I sent my package already, she complained about another trade that was coming from Conn that was being sent regular mail and she was getting "screwed". So I get a snitty dmail from her that the rose cuttings were dead when they arrived on Thursday or Friday. Doesn't matter what I think, I told her I would send her new ones on Monday as I don't like to send cuttings toward the end of the week, sitting at the post office and all. Sent her new cuttings. She said they arrived and they were fine.
Last night, I was reading some of the thread and saw that she had posted a thread complaining that I didn't do the right thing and that I "screwed her over". I almost posted something on that thread, but I thought, well, I'm just not going to get into it. I am done trading with her. I got my trade and she got hers. To make matter worse, her priority package she sent me took 5 days to arrive and all the rose cuttings she sent me were dry, so I don't know what she is griping about...
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know from my own experience trading with you that you are a great trading partner.
It hurts when something like this happens especially when things go wrong after you've posted the items.
(((hugs))) I'd trade with you again 'in a heartbeat' and I'm certain that goes for other DG members too... so take a deep breath and rise above this bad experience. Don't let it put you off trading, Daves is one of the best trading communities you're likely to find anywhere.
Oh, btw, weren't you getting a new puppy earlier this month? How's he doing?
Take care and chin up.
Here's a rose for you (I took this pic. yesterday)
But that is a beautiful and unique looking amaryllis.
Lavina, I love NC. While in college, I had a boyfriend from Black Mountain, NC. His mom had a house up by Blowing Rock area. It was beautiful. I grew up in Charleston, SC, so I'm a Georgia transplant, but I've been here 25+ years now.
I am sure that the majority of DGers are good neighbours. They may be too busy that to add "countable credits" to their names. Often too busy to even make up those "Have" and "Want" lists. In fact, many DGers offer 'trades' for nothing more than an SASE!!!).
But what the heck, deadbeats exist. It's a fact of life. We can b&m over it, or we can get over it. We're not banks, so we can't ask for a Federal Seed/Plant Trade Failure Bailout. If we REALLY get cheated, I'll bet that our DG community will contribute more than enough to make up for it. All we have to do is ask.
I have to say I only trade for things I just want to try out. I've sent out seeds for SASE and I've also gotten seeds that way. No big deal if something goes wrong along the way. What is common to person may be exotic to someone else and if I get something very hard to get then I figure I'm way a head of the game. LOL. My only problem so far has been misnamed seeds (surprise later on) and one dead beat. Not a big deal.