| Author | Content |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 9, 2007
8:35 AM Post #3835875
| Welcome back everyone!
So, you have 10 minutes to make a difference today. What will you do with your 10 minutes? |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 9, 2007
10:16 AM Post #3835944
| Thanks, Candyce: I realized I am getting a bad back from spending too much time at the computer. Part of the solution is to take a ten minute excercise break. I grabbed the broom and dust pan and swept my upstairs hall and staircase. 10 minutes. A better back and less dust on the stairs! |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 9, 2007
10:36 AM Post #3836024
| Gloria:
that sounds just like what I would do. I have a bad back, too. In fact, I am well past the time when the doctors said I would be wheelchair bound. But thanks to actually getting up and doing things, plus challenging myself at jobs where I had to be on my feet all day, I am still ambulatory!! Whooo Hooooo!!
So, every chance I get I am up and moving around. I can really tell it in my hips, legs, and back when I have sat for too long!! |
birdsnblooms
(Zone 5b)
August 9, 2007
10:55 AM Post #3836125
| Spent more than 10 minutes in the garden ripping out some items that HAD to go yesterday.
I failed in the house, though. Went to dry the wash-load that I started in the a.m, but dryer load was still wet (hey, are we supposed to clean that lint thingy? LOL! Oops), so re-ran that, then forgot to go back and do the other wet load. Sigh. Didn't have time this morning, either. So will have to re-wash THAT since it'll likely be icky by that time.
Shoot. |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 9, 2007
10:57 AM Post #3836138
| I had back surgery many years ago, but Ive led a pretty active life so I haven't had much trouble since--unless I sit down too much. thats how I got the problem in the first place - sitting and studying in graduate school. Now I am reminded again, don't sit for more than 15 minutes or so without getting up and using it! So the 10 minute cleaning rule is actually a take care of your back rule. Every 15 minutes, take a break and clean something up!
Ow! |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 9, 2007
11:08 AM Post #3836193
| Absolutely!!!!!!
I just wish that more people realized how important it was to try and move every hour or so. |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 9, 2007
11:20 AM Post #3836238
| While I was upstairs "excersing" I realized a bunch of sheets I had put over funiture as dust covers were really dusty. So I grabbed them all for a trip through the washer and then outside on the clothes line to dry in the sun. |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 9, 2007
11:26 AM Post #3836262
| Okay, thus far I haven't been to spare room to do anything. Not sure if I will or not. I had breast implant surgery yesterday afternoon and moving around is a bit difficult at the moment. One place that I did do something productive is in the kitchen.
I made a bowl of raspberry jello with canned tropical fruit, can of crushed pineapple, chopped walnuts and shredded coconut. I haven't tasted it yet, but does sounds good. I usually use orange, lime or strawberry jello when making this concoction, so the raspberry will be a new flavor.
Gloria, I must have misunderstood what you were asking another person about what to do with books. I thought that you were trying to find something to do with them. I understand feeling connected with certain books and have some nearly 35 or 40 year old ones to prove it.
My husband and I recently inherited 2 six shelve barrister bookcases. The glass fronts make the books and other items look so nice and really cuts down on the dust. I wish that I had a larger room to put the bookcases in, but for now they are in the spare room. If we decid to do a bit of remodeling that I have been thinking about, they will be moved out in to the living part of the great room
I hope that everyone is having a good day. Take care and will check in again later on.
Ruby |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 9, 2007
11:44 AM Post #3836311
| Martha Stewart is helping someone clean up their garage today. She admits to being a pack rat also. She gave the person she was helping a labeler, to help her get organized.
thanks rubyw. Yes. I mean some place to put them. Presently I have most of them on metal industrial shelving. I like the barrister book case idea, they get so dusty if they are not protected somehow.
When I worked in a museum, the recommendation was to make muslin sheets the right size to cover the tops of the books. then whisk off the muslins every once in a while and wash and dry them. |
birdsnblooms
(Zone 5b)
August 9, 2007
12:48 PM Post #3836571
| Who needs Martha Stewart...I'll take Ruby over her any day for inspiration.
Martha needs some humbling...it seems to be the one thing she can't DIY. |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 9, 2007
12:52 PM Post #3836580
| Poor Martha. Poor multi-millionaire Martha! I think she is an incredible role model. Not that rubyw isn't. I prefer to learn from both! |
WUVIE
Hulbert, OK
(Zone 7a)
August 9, 2007
12:56 PM Post #3836593
| Hello all,
Wanted to pop in and congratulate you all on your progresses.
Looking good, everyone!
I'll pop in from time to time, but for now I'm going to unwatch the thread.
The up and coming weeks are full of much to do for me, so I'll see you
all when I can.
Take care, and know that when I put things away I'll be thinking of all
of you.
Bye for only now,
:-) Karen Marie
|
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 9, 2007
3:53 PM Post #3837205
| We'll keep the light on for ya, Karen. |
flowerjen
central, NJ
(Zone 6b)
August 9, 2007
7:16 PM Post #3837882
| I actually had to take a 10 min break from doing paperwork for our a/c business, so I went and put my feet up w/ a book and a cup of coffee.
Ruby-I wish I could inherit some bookcases. |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 9, 2007
7:33 PM Post #3837927
| I have a plan to make easy bookcases that will fit under my staircase.
Actually, this plan is for magazines that I don't throw away, such as Fine Woodworking, Fine Gardening, Antiques, etc. You can buy these but I do have some basic woodworking skills, and I don't want to spend the money for the cost of the finished pieces.
This bookcase is made from cubes. 16 in square. The cubes will be stacked tansu style to fit in the area under the stairs. The first row will have 6 cubes, 5, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1. Some of the cubes will have doors. Some of the magazines will be in magazine cases. And some will just be stacked within the cubes. In the corner across from the cubes is my tall backed orange Chippendale chair with a floor lamp.
No electricity to plug the lamp in, though. Maybe someday. |
NorthCoastGirl
Girard, OH
August 10, 2007
8:36 AM Post #3839644
| Hello, folks!
Operation Livingroom complete! Now for a day's rest, then starting on the kitchen, lol. My cupboards look so much better now, yay!
Gloria.. I kept all my reference books. =) The books I gave away are all the fiction.. sci-fi and fantasy, that I've bought over the last ten years. There are a few old book I kept for sentimental value, as well... a 30 year old poetry book, Charlotte's Web, etc.
Being a sentimental person, though, I have to watch keeping things for nostalgia's sake. Otherwise, items would just pile up, haha! We have a ton of heirlooms from my grandmother who died two years ago already. And keepsakes from my little brother, who died last November. After he died, my parents cleaned out their house and gave all the stuff that was supposed to go to HIM, to me. We just don't have the room to be the family museum curator, unfortunately.
Anyway.. kitchen is next. Old spices, random tupperware without lids, old pots and pans we don't use anymore. Lordy lordy.
Have a good, productive day, everyone!
|
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 10, 2007
8:50 AM Post #3839678
| NCG: Recently on the Oprah show, Nate Berkus helped a family who had lost one of their children. They had so much stuff that belonged to the boy who died and they just didn't know how to deal with it. Nate suggested that they make a "memory wall" in the boys honor. They photographed the things that he liked the best and packed those things up to give away. They decided to keep just one thing, I think it was his teddy bear. That way they had the memories but not the burden of the actual stuff. That seemed to me to be a realistic way to deal with the problem of too much stuff with conotations to sensitive to just throw in the trash or free cycle.
Im not taking pictures of my first edition volumes by Charles Darwin and Charles Lyell, though. |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 10, 2007
8:59 AM Post #3839699
| That's a great way to honor someone! I hadn't thought of a memory wall. Perhaps that something I could do as well. I remember when my Mom died, each of her children kept just one thing that reminded us of her - the rest was donated or given over to the trash bin, but even doing THAT took a few months of working up the courage to do it.
I wouldn't give up ANY first editions, either!!! |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 10, 2007
9:11 AM Post #3839738
| IOf the facts to deal with in getting "old" is that you do accumulate a lot of stuff. Not all of it do you want to get rid of it, so then the problem is how to store it appropriately. Of course you should get rid of the junk. But I would be permanently traumatized (sp?) if someone came into my home and decided to throw away my stuff. Afterall, it is MY life not someone elses. That is not to deny that everyone needs to regularly edit out the garbage, so they can live in their space. |
Gymgirl
Houston, TX
(Zone 9a)
August 10, 2007
10:02 AM Post #3839908
| I like that Idea of photographing the sentimental stuff and THEN letting it go. That way you can have your cake and EAT it too! |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 10, 2007
11:24 AM Post #3840251
| I agree, Gymgirl.
For myself (as I am an older lady) I have already de-cluttered my own personal stuff down to just what I love, use at least once weekly, and need. I have let my daughters and grandchildren know what I want them to have to remember me by, and where I keep it.
I started doing this years ago, shortly after my mom passed. She was a true pack-rat, and it took about a year for us kids to go through her house and toss years worth of absolute junk. I vowed that would never do that to my own children and began right then and there - just doing a little bit when I remembered by oath to myself. |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 10, 2007
11:30 AM Post #3840279
| I am going to join Northcoastgirl and take a day of rest. Not really gonna be a particularly restful day, but will be resting from doing anthinig on my spare room project. I am going in to the plastic surgery clinic later today and let the nurses check the dressing on my incision. If it needs changing, I want them to do it and not me. Too big a chance that it will come apart again if I do it.
So, while at it, we need to also stop and get a plat survey notarized and also go to Staple's office supply and get a mouse. The mouse we are using now, is driving us all crazy. I have tried cleaning the roller ball and the inside but it seems that I need to do that at least once a day in order for it to move correctly. I believe I can find the money in my budget for a mouse. Especially when I have a $5 off coupon that I will use. ha-ha
Due to having surgery on Wednesday, I am going to follow doctors orders and "take it easy." The spare room project will be waiting for me when I am better recovered. My out of town visitor will be coming on Thursday to spend the night, and she will just have to look at some clutter. It is already making a major difference with the very little bit that was accomplished earlier this week.
I need to go in there soon and measure the floor footage and see if the new queen size air mattress that I bought is going to fit, or whether I need to do some more rearranging.
Anyway, TGIF. Have a good weekend everyone.
Ruby
|
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 10, 2007
11:35 AM Post #3840311
| Wow, you are really on the ball Candyce. Yes, I have deceased parents too and can remember how much time and energy was spent going through their things. I kept more of it than is really needed, but have gotten rid of a few things that I was thinking of keeping. I will go through again at some point and get rid of some more of it too, just not any time soon. For now, most of it is hidden away and not bothering me too badly. Out of sight, out of mind. There will come a time that I will need the storage space that some of those things are now using and then will be when I do somethings with it.
Good going Candy and thanks for sharing such a great idea with us.
Ruby
|
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 10, 2007
3:38 PM Post #3841220
| Ruby:
Clearing out the memories isn't easy, nor do I believe that it is intended to be easy. I just don't want my kiddos going through the sentimental pain when it comes to 'divvying up' my stuff.
And, it did take a long time to not only say 'goodbye' to my mom's things, but to a lot of my own as well. I first began by giving my grown daughters all those old school papers that I had been saving for so long. LOL!!! They were absolutely thrilled to get them and show them to their own kids! So now, those things are their clutter, not mine.
Thanks for keeping me encouraged. |
flowerjen
central, NJ
(Zone 6b)
August 11, 2007
2:24 AM Post #3843540
| I can't believe I forgot to tell everyone the ultimate pack rat story. This should make everyone feel better...My hubby's aunt is the ultimate pack rat, school teacher for 30 years kept every lesson plan even though retired for 25 years, parents and grandparents long gone has every piece of their clothing. She keeps everything! Has little pathways in their bedroom to get to the bed and closet. Stuff is stacked everywhere. It's only the 2 of them, never had kids, well they decide to buy a new house, he tells her to decide what to throw out they are NOT bringing all the junk to the new house. She never could decide so they have 2 houses and sleep in one and they do the laundry and get the mail in the new house. She actually had a nervous breakdown trying to decide what to get rid of and had to be put in an assisted living faciltiy. He moved into an apt in the same facilty to be near her so they have 4 places!!!! He's currently trying to clean out the houses so he can sell them. My fil has been going out there a couple times to help(they live in OH and have no relatives out there). Unbelievable huh? But true. |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 11, 2007
5:43 AM Post #3843611
| Wow!!!! What a story. I believe it though. Her saving all that stuff was so ingrained in to her being, that she wasn't able to separate the stuff from herself. What a waste of money on their part. What a shame for all the nieces and nephews who might have been able to use some of their estate money. I guess that spending their money in this fashion is as good to spend it on as anything else. Four residences!!! Goodness!!!
It never ceases to amaze me some of the insane things that some people do. I do understand that to them it doesn't seem unreasonable. So many times, when we are embroiled in the middle of something, we can't see the forest for the trees. It takes stepping back a ways from the situation and taking a look at it, before it becomes clear sometimes.
Take for instance the case of a battered wife. If she has stayed with the batterer for any length of time, she begins to believe the lies that he has told her about the beatings being her fault. Most women are so caught up in the whole horrid mess that they cannot clearly see what is obvious to most outsiders. I have sat at times and listened to stories that people tell me about some situations the are in and shake my head in amazement at how obviously poison some things are to our well being, but because we have never slowed down and quieted down enough from the chaos that we can't make proper healing decisions. We just continue to spin our wheels, right where we are, and thus get more in a rut and in a deeper hole that is harder and harder to get out of.
Sorry ladies, don't know where this topic came from. Just thinking of some of the ridiculous things that people do these days. Thanks for sharing the story jen. Maybe it will be able to help somene who is having a hard time getting rid of things. It has already made me realize, how I "dddn't want to be."
Take care and no offense meant.
Ruby |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 11, 2007
9:04 AM Post #3843893
| Oh. Ruby. You are so deeply wise. Its more than just battered wives who can't see their way out! Decluttering one's space is clearly a psychological breakthrough. Especially, if the decluttering includes getting rid of (or dealing with) the troublesome people in it. I guess at bottom its all about finding out about the present time and moving into it. then the old stuff really doesn't matter. its just clutter. |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 11, 2007
9:24 AM Post #3843938
| You sound wise also Gloria. You last three words says loads - It's just clutter.
Ruby |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 11, 2007
8:21 PM Post #3846062
| Flowerjen:
Thanks for sharing the wickedly weird story. I can't imagine having four residences to keep my things!! But, I know that some people are like that, and it's such a shame that they can't seem to free themselves from their 'stuff'. I've heard, too, that many people who experienced the Great Depression are loathe to let their 'stuff' go. They always feel as though they might need it once it has been tossed out.
And Ruby ...
Your story made me cry. I was one of those abused wives, and it took a long time for me to 'see' what everyone else saw. It's a long, long, story, but I have been a 'free woman' for almost eight years now. My life before now seems like a nightmare, and I have conveniently forgotten a lot of it. So I cry.
And yeah, Gloria. It's just clutter. Or it's just 'stuff'. Same idea, with the same end result. You either keep it to do it honor, or you get rid of it. I now apply that phrase to everything - even food - LOL! I figure that I will honor it if I eat it. If I don't eat it and it goes bad, then that's a dishonor, so I will give it away to someone else.
I simply refuse to be ruled by what I possess. |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 12, 2007
4:35 AM Post #3847031
| Oh yeah, you ladies are making some very liberating and wise closing remarks to your post. I love it Candy, "I refuse to be ruled b what I possess." Wonderful, for sure.
Sorry to hear that you lived in an abusive situation Candy. The way I know what I know, is that I too got out of an abusive marriage. I still amazes me just how blind I seemed to be. I knew that things were not quite right, but gee, when I got out of the mess and healed a bit emotionally, I saw some real eye openers. At least I learned what I never want again!!!
I am very happy to report a very good and solid marraige that is almost 15 years long now. It took a lot of good counseling and a sincere desire to change in order for me to get where I am today. Life is very good thank you.
Everyone have a good Sunday.
Ruby |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 12, 2007
8:01 AM Post #3847158
| I really meant to include in my statement _ 'its just clutter', the troublesome people who can attach to your life and steer you off in a direction of self-denial to the point that you don't even know the person that you are supposed to be. I remember emerging from a severe depression after finally severing ties with one of these oppressive people. One day I found my self whisting the Opera Carmen - and I was surprised to find that I knew the whole thing! Then there were other songs and whole stretches of wordless music that I didn't even know the name of. Then I remembered things I knew how to do, like woodworking and working with plants. All of this had been totally surpressed by this person who wanted to smother all there was about me.
Today I live happily alone with my animals and plants. I am still too vulnerable to being obliterated by relationships, so I avoid them like the plague. I am still finding out surprising things about me, that I had forgotten or never knew.
Happy Sunday, everyone. |
NorthCoastGirl
Girard, OH
August 12, 2007
9:50 AM Post #3847484
| G'morning. =)
Gloria, your post above really struck a cord with me, as well. I'm 35 ( still young, I suppose) and just now discovering who I truely am. Since I was a teenager, other people have told me that I "needed" to be this way.. that I "should" act like this, etc etc etc. What a mess... clutter is a good word for it. It took me so long to come to terms that I'm really an eccentric loner type person who enjoys solitary activities, comfy clothes ( as opposed to fashion), digging in the dirt, daydreaming, learning new skills, my naturally tangly curly hair.. all the stuff that somehow disappeared in the pressure to be like everybody else. =)
of course, it does help that I had the good sense to get re-married to another eccentric loner type, lol. My DH and I are kindred spirits. =) |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 12, 2007
10:01 AM Post #3847511
| Goodness, but we are having some deep and revealing conversations here! But it feels good to have others that understand.
Today is going to be a long one for us ...
We will be celebrating the 'Share' birthdays for August. In our family there are 5 birthdays this month, so we will all get together for a big BBQ and presents this afternoon. I hope the weather holds out because it's nice and sunny now, but rain is expected for this evening. |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 12, 2007
11:10 AM Post #3847718
| Candyce: Im glad you have a big house to accomodate that family get together. I bet they all enjoy coming home. |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 12, 2007
11:17 AM Post #3847745
| NCG: My naturally curly hair nearly all fell out entirely during one of my traumatic episodes. Today it is straight and pure white. I don't look in the mirror that often. I just clean the mirror with a spritz and microfiber cloth and look the other way.
You are so lucky to find a kindred spirit and to have the wisdom to find yourself. |
flowerjen
central, NJ
(Zone 6b)
August 13, 2007
12:03 AM Post #3850511
| Glad to hear that all you ladies are doing well, now. |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 13, 2007
12:28 AM Post #3850580
| Other than the age, NCG just described me, almost to a Tee. I have 16 years on you. Yep, about mid thirties is when I began to gain a bit of wisdom. Before that I wasn't confident enough in myself to not go along with the crowd. Today I enjoy my uniqueness. I remember attending a twentieth high school reunion and the women all agreeing that becoming that age was so liberating and how much more we enjoyed life. It is true.
I wish us all many more good years. Have a good week ladies.
Ruby |
Bettypauze
Victoria Harbour, ON
(Zone 5b)
August 15, 2007
10:23 AM Post #3859218
| Joined this site many years ago...got me organized...so, thought I'd share..no cost to join..receive wonderful organizing tips etc.
Only complaint was from Kyle (grandson)...I purchased their Christmas Organizer and it had monthly, weekly, daily organization sheets...he thought that going as far as organizing what t.v. shows we should be watching during the Christmas season was a bit excessive..what do kids know...lol..
[HYPERLINK@www.getorganizednow.com]
This message was edited Aug 15, 2007 10:26 AM |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 15, 2007
10:41 AM Post #3859300
| Ah, Betty:
i have printed many things from 'getorganized', too. Glad to see I'm not the only one!! |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 16, 2007
10:33 AM Post #3863304
| Thanks ladies, gonna check it out now.
Ruby |
Bettypauze
Victoria Harbour, ON
(Zone 5b)
August 21, 2007
2:29 PM Post #3882580
| Hi there, just thought I'd share a sight that's both fun and gets you organized...makes you find the brat in you that doesn't want to clean or be organized...lol
[HYPERLINK@www.thebratfactor.com] |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 21, 2007
2:37 PM Post #3882617
| I know that website. My 'brat's' name is Charlene ~ LOL! |
Marcy_1
New Madison, OH
(Zone 5a)
August 21, 2007
2:59 PM Post #3882703
| Just found this thread. Tell me what you do when you live with a pack rat, and you aren't one..or don't want to be one?
We are an older couple , married for 47 yrs. He saves EVERYTHING! I am not allowed to throw it away or give it away or have a garage sale, etc. It is beginning to drive me crazy...all the clutter. I would love to clean out some things, to be more comfortable in my surroundings. When I talk to him about it, he just says he loves it.
He has a sister that is the same way. And his parent's house was never this way?
Where do I go from here???? |
Bettypauze
Victoria Harbour, ON
(Zone 5b)
August 21, 2007
3:18 PM Post #3882769
| Candyce..mine is BessieMarie...right now the struggle is 1/2 and 1/2 lol...
Marcy I'm not sure what you can do..sometimes it just becomes a compulsion...someone however is bound to come up with an answer..will check the website for you 'sweetie' maybe I can find a link... |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 21, 2007
3:24 PM Post #3882805
| Oh Marcy ~
I wish I had some answers, but all I have are suggestions. Is his pack-rat stuff in every room of your home? If not, is there one or two rooms that you can declutter and be an example for him?
Sending you hugs ... |
Marcy_1
New Madison, OH
(Zone 5a)
August 21, 2007
4:34 PM Post #3883054
| Thank you Bettypauze and Candyce.
In all fairness, I have to say our main living area is not too bad...except we have way too much furniture for our small house...in each room.
We have 3 rooms upstairs that we don't use for anything but storage. I would love to have a bedroom up there...at least one...for the grandkids.
He has a BIG metal pole barn...full. A BIG ..hmmm...probably would hold 3 cars...garage...full. A storage shed...good sized...full. My (was supposed to be) potting shed 12x18...full. It's just unreal...and totally unnecessary, the way I see it. He saves things...saying...I might need it someday. Well yeah...but if you do...I say...go buy it. He can afford it! Our kids have tried talking to him...they don't want to have to mess with it when we are gone...and I don't blame them.
I just don't know what to do?
Edited to say...part of the problem is..we moved here from a larger farmhouse. We were supposed to have an auction sale..had even signed up with the auctioneer...and then hubby canceled it out. So we put all our 'stuff' into a smaller house...and it's STILL here ...after 10 yrs!
This message was edited Aug 21, 2007 4:36 PM |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 21, 2007
6:00 PM Post #3883352
| Marcy_1: Tell him your are taking your potting shed. Give him a reasonable time to vacate, then take it. Its up to you to claim your space and your life. |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 21, 2007
6:56 PM Post #3883538
| Very good point, Gloria. |
BriarRose74
Moon Twp, PA
(Zone 6a)
August 22, 2007
12:53 AM Post #3884996
| Marcy,
My brother said the perfect plan is to clear it out, put everything outside and what they carry back in they want. Said the first couple times, they are trying to save everything... after that they get down to what is really impt to them. Put it outside when they are planning something impt to them, so they don't care as much about it either. Leave it there, if it gets ruined, so much the better!
He swears by this method with his family. He even came and helped us by doing something similar. We did cut back too. Dumptster helped too! Older DD picked up on it as she saw the fast results. She told me recently that I need to get rid of a bunch more stuff too.
Younger DD was devastated to lose so much of her "stuff", but her room looks much less cluttered! A yr later she still says he is not allowed in her room and cleans better, esp if she knows he is coming to visit!
I say, choose the area most impt to you, for you to reclaim first. Then take everything out of that area and put it outside. If he wants to keep it, he has to consolidate and put it somewhere, like in his pole barn. Then, choose the next most impt area to reclaim, ditto. Ditto for the rest of the house and potting shed. When you are down to all of your areas being clean, the heck with his. Just make sure he doesn't infiltrate your spacw with his "stuff" again.
I have some more cleaning I need to do too... my brother says I need another dumpster delivered! I could have filled a home twice this size with what I had. Got rid of lots, but need to really go through it and get rid of more. Need to be able to use my home. It is like paying mtg for a home but only being able to use 1-2 rooms, ridiculous!
Good Luck! ~ Suzi :) |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 22, 2007
7:30 AM Post #3885278
| Suzi:
That's quite a method that your brother has there. Hope it isn't raining when he does this! LOL!
But, in some ways, I agree completely. The only way I was able to help this family declutter was to be absolutely ruthless as we pulled stuff out of closets, drawers, boxes, and under beds. I kept telling them ... "If you haven't used it, or even seen it in a year - out it goes!!" |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 22, 2007
8:09 AM Post #3885393
| I saw an interview with Mrs. Shriver-Swarzenegger, who said her husband puts all the kids stuff they leave around up in the highest cupboards. They learned they have to keep things picked up or the governor will hide it!
I would not advocate being destructive of someone elses stuff. I think you do need to have a family conference and point out you are not living on your property, you are just warehousing some possibly valuable stuff for the future. You want everyone to think about what they need, and what they don't need. For every new thing 10 or 20 must go.Set a deadline and choose a frontier to reclaim.
Editing one's belongings is a learned skill. Destroying someone's things could lead to permanent hostility. It is a personal decision what is important and what is not. But, if someone is not deciding at all, then they do need a nudge with a cattle prod! |
Candyce
The Monadnock Region, NH
(Zone 5a)
August 22, 2007
10:27 AM Post #3885864
| LOL! I just had to laugh for a moment. At our house we have a 'Toy Troll'. If things are not picked up and put away by bedtimes, the chances of the 'Toy troll' getting them and taking off with them are pretty good. My now 22-year-old daughter remembers the 'Toy Troll' VERY well!! |
Marcy_1
New Madison, OH
(Zone 5a)
August 22, 2007
10:50 AM Post #3885977
| Thank you all for your responses. I think...if I put his stuff outside he would probably walk out on me! I guess he knows that too. The problem is..I am partially disabled and not able to work. So I have to be careful how I handle it. He KNOWS he has the upper hand...lol.
I am going to start upstairs..doing some cleaning out. Maybe I will first get rid of some of MY stuff...and he will see how much better things are! We have sets of dining chairs up there...for what???? We sit on a set downstairs. I don't think we need 3 other sets? And it goes on and on.
But I agree...maybe I have given him too much control over MY life. I think it's time I took a stand.
|
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
August 22, 2007
11:07 AM Post #3886070
| Some times wives think 'being married' means giving a man control over them. The checkbook, the time, their labor, their space. And its something you don't think about until one day you think, Hey, what about me? Its so easy to give up little pieces of your self over the years, then one day realize youv'e given too much away.
Sometimes its not the man's fault. Sometimes it is. But everyone has a right to live their best life, and the responsibility to figure out what that is. |
BriarRose74
Moon Twp, PA
(Zone 6a)
August 23, 2007
12:23 PM Post #3890621
| Maybe if he sees it go out the door to someone/something worthwhile, he won't mind as much. Three dining sets is a bit much. Just be careful that when your stuff leaves that he doesn't see it as a perfect place for more of his junk to infiltrate! Out with her junk does not equal in with his junk.
I def need to spend some time de-cluttering and going through boxes of crap. Stuff that I have had through numerous moves, both pre and post hubby, in the military and since. I so want to have my dishes, crafts, and all my other stuff out to use, but I bought a house that I could afford, which means no cupboard space for all the dishes, etc.
Yes, I am a pack rat too, and that makes it worse. We filled a huge dumpster with stuff from the house. So much more to do: living room still more, side porch, last will prob be the 12x20 shed. De-cluttering is a process. Little by little seems like the least painful way, but brother makes a point that it is so much more rewarding to be able to clearly see lots of progress being made. Our remainder cleaning will most likely be a mix of both these styles.
Later, Suzi :) |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 23, 2007
2:32 PM Post #3891083
| Yep Suzi, that is usually how it works here too. Some times I am able to do whole messes. I have a cleaning lady who comes in on Tuesdays and she is great in terms of being able to organize and arrange things.
If there is something pressing me, I can usually do the 10 to 20 minute routine and whittle away at a pile or two. I pretty much have the spare bedroom done other than doing a better job of arranging things in the glass front bookcases and either 4 or 5 small bags of odds and ends that I need to go through. That is major progress. I looked at that room which was in a state of disrepair since last April when my older son moved out of it. I had an over night guest last week and needed to prepare a place for her to sleep. After getting the clutter removed from there I bought a queen size air mattress and she said that she slept very well on it.
I decided this morning that instead of doing some remodeling that I was thinking about, that I would switch the room where I was planning to put in a sliding glass door and then add on to existing deck outside of door. That room is currently my 17 year old son's room. If I do the original idea, it means moving all of his stuff.
If I choose to install a sliding glass door where the spare bedroom window is now, a person can just open it and step out on to an existing deck, so a lot less work done and also less money spent. We will talk with contractor tomorrow and see when he can start.
Putting in a sliding glass door is my way of dealing with an ever growing collection of house plants. Last winter I had basically two bedrooms with only paths to walk, because of the amount of houseplants in them. My husband commented on how much better he liked the master bedroom without all of the plants when I moved them to screen porch this summer. Since my collection has grown even more this summer, I am planning on using the sliding glass doors as the light source for the plants. I am not sure if I am explaining so that you all can envision what I saying or not. I know what I mean, ha-ha.
Anyway, before the contractor comes, there will be another mad rush to move the remaining furniture out of his way so that he can work. I always hate the mess that remodeling or construction brings, but the final result always seems worth the temporary mess.
I hope that everyone is doing well and making progress on their clutter.
Ruby |
BriarRose74
Moon Twp, PA
(Zone 6a)
August 27, 2007
4:03 PM Post #3906504
| I'm not - but just got back from vacation. I do have some inspiration, got to get to the liv rm and move the bricks outside, comcast is coming to rewire the house on Friday! ~ Suzi :) |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
August 28, 2007
3:52 AM Post #3908788
| Hi BriarRose - Yep, having company or repair men coming will sneak up on us every time. I find a lot of times that having a deadline such as this is when I get the most things done. Otherwise, I have a tendency to let things slide and let them ride. ha-ha
But...can you imagine some of the dumps that these telephone/cable installers walk in to at times??? I feel for them. There must be some real tall tales to be told around the water fountain about what they see in the community within a day's time.
I hope that you had a great vacation.
Ruby |
BriarRose74
Moon Twp, PA
(Zone 6a)
August 28, 2007
8:02 AM Post #3909082
| Did! Almost doubled my mileage (2126 vs 1100 miles) by taking older DD (21) to other side of state first, to stay w/ her friend. Next time, hopefully we can all fly. Or at least her, so it doesn't take me 2 days to get there!
I gotta get super busy today, go back to work tomorrow! YIKES!
Later, Suzi :) |
vonny53
hanna, WY
(Zone 4b)
September 3, 2007
9:41 AM Post #3931257
| Does anyone every watch How Clean is my HOuse on the BBC channel? I love to watch that show . Then I don't feel so bad. They had a marathon on it yesterday. You think they'd be embarassed to have it shown on tv. I don't think that would work over here. lol.. I'm getting a lot done this week because hubby is out of town. I have a long weekend also so I've been going all day. Hope to see much improvement by the time he gets home. Also want to get out and plant some more stuff too. Summer is coming to an end. Yvonne |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
September 4, 2007
5:36 AM Post #3935067
| Hi Vonny. So glad that you posted. I had forgotten that I was watching this thread. I was able to make good use of this thread a few weeks back when I needed to prepare the spare bedroom for an overnight guest. It felt good to have a place to come to and update my progress.
I haven't really gotten too much in to de-cluttering the past few weeks, but am just now reminded that I am going to attack my bathroom vanity cabinet this morning before I shower. I have run out a few things that I think are probably hidden way back in there somewhere. A bit ago while looking at it, I did take out about 9 or 10 bath towels and put them in the hall linen closet.
I have had the chore on my list to do for three days now. TODAY IS the day I do it.
I am very lucky in that I have a friend who comes once a week to help me clean house. She has been great in terms of organizing cabinets and closets for me. Only occasionally do I have to hunt for something that she has hidden. ha-ha
I see that the small walk in closet in the master bedroom needs sorting through again. I am amazed at how quickly things pile up here. One reason is that the house is very small. The other is that I have a tendency to look at clutter and become too overwhelmed to ever begin the job of straightening.
I am getting better at it though.
Again, thanks for sharing your great progress vonny.
Ruby |
shune
Seattle, WA
(Zone 8a)
October 11, 2007
12:07 AM Post #4070766
| Hi folks. I just came across this thread (and your previous) and if anyone is still watching it, I want to thank all of you for the inspiration. I think I need a kick in the pants to get going on my clutter. I've been in my house since 1974, so you can only imagine! I hope to see you all again soon. Sherri |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
October 11, 2007
2:47 AM Post #4071015
| Hi Sherry - Thank you too for reading this and it is wonderful that you found inspiration here. I got things looking pretty good in the spare room for a while. With some major shopping trips recently and having to bring in house plants from outside, the room is almost full again.
I suppose from this I have learned that it is an on going process to keep things clutter free. I guess that I am just going to have to get more organized here soon. I am thinking of going ahead and wrapping Christmas gifts now and put them in the shed outside until the holidays. The closet in that room is way too crowded and not another thing will fit in it.
I have been having a clutter problem for about ten years. Before that, I don't remember having a problem as bad as it is now. I am thinking that I need to dig really deeply in to my psyche and see what might have contributed to this problem and what might be able to help solve it.
There have been several contributing factors that led up to being way too over crowded. Having both my husband and my own parents divide up their households and distribute between the children has left us with a lot of extra furniture pieces that we didn't have a couple of years ago. Along with the furnishings came lots of decorative glassware and other items for display.
There is a time line also between my "hoarding" and a great personal loss that I experienced about ten years ago. The loss has been rectified, but the keeing everything problem is still here. Having been raised by depression era parents didn't help matters. Their belief was to hold on to everything because I might have a need for it someday. I cannot count the boxes of belongings that are in the shed that I haven't even opened in years.
I am going to have to soon begin commiting myself to packing up some things and taking to a charity thrift store. I know that when I make up my mind to begin, that it won't be too hard or take too long to get a few car loads to take. It is the getting started that is hard. ha-ha
Again, welcome Sherry. Maybe we can get this thread topic going again and help each other stay motivated enough to get some things straightened and lighten our loads.
Ruby
|
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
October 11, 2007
9:27 AM Post #4071450
| I think there is a lot of insight offered in this thread. There probably is an underlying psychological component to the problem of clutter taking over your life. I believe it sometimes happens when you are in a "time warp" where you are swept into a new situation (like retiring unexpectedly) and haven't quite resolved the old situation. Where are you going? What do you need?
I still have boxes of my lecture notes from teaching back in the 1970s.
Will I need them? Im 67. I still don't know.
I think Ive hit bottom after surviving 100+ degree weather day after day all summer here in Alabama. Then I was sick. Then there was the medication. Finally, fall is here. Today is a little cooler. What a mess Ive made for myself. I guess Ill concentrate on repairing my mower today. At least that would clear the biggest most obvious mess--an unmowed lawn. |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
October 12, 2007
7:12 AM Post #4074691
| Oh, I agree with that last statement Gloria about mowing the lawn. That is one thing that cannot be hidden. It is there for all to see.
One of these days I am going to ask myself the question about why this clutter problem began. It is going to have to be on a day when I feel particularly strong and in charge of my emotions. I recall what went on in my life at that time, but haven't really ever sat down with it and acknowledged my deepest feeling about it. Boy, don't you love sadness? I don't often use the term sad, but can talk about depression all day long. To me, they are one in the same
Anyway, until I face and admit what inside need has been fulfilled by having way too much stuff, I have the feeling that I will still be dealing with the mess. Anyway... thanks for replying to the post Gloria.
Speaking about weather. We have been having record breaking high temperatures during the month of October. Last night the temps dropped and I actually had to turn the heat on this morning when I woke up. I didn't realize it, but the night before last it must have gotten pretty low too because I see that the three coleus that were outside have become wilted looking and are most likely dead. Thankfully the other plants I had already gotten inside.
Have a nice day.
Ruby
|
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
October 12, 2007
8:11 AM Post #4074852
| Ruby: I had to put a new part on my mower. After determining that yesterday was the day I would do it, I went out and gathered all my tools and started to dissasemble the machine. Then I discovered they had sent me the wrong part! Chaos on top of chaos!
I think the kind of clutter that comes from the past not catching up with the present has to do with comfort. We know the past. Don't know the future--its always a potential source of anxiety.
I once was in field camp with a girl who packed all of her clothes for the summer in a paper grocery sack. Thats all she needed: 2 pair of jeans and some tee shirts. Not me. I had boxes and boxes stuffed under my bed. You never know what you might need. |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
October 12, 2007
11:01 AM Post #4075296
| Very interesting thought you have there lady. Hmmm...the past hasn't caught up with the future, how interesting. Something to give some thought to, for sure.
So sorry about your lawn mower. I am married to a car mechanic and the stories he tells are full of that sort of stuff. They are forever getting wrong parts from the parts company and then about ten more problems arise also before actually being able to complete the job. I hate the thought of having to repair any sort of machine and stay away from things such as that if at all possible.
You made me laugh about how you packed for the summer. Bring it all, so you won't be sorry that you left something behind. Reminds me, of me. We have taken a couple of trips this past month and both times I have packed way too many clothes for the time that we were away. My husband had warned me that I didn't need so much, but he didn't insist hard enough. Hopefully I have been broken of packing too much the next time because on the trip that we took to Cape Cod Massachusetts I found a really inexpensive store that I ended up buying a whole lot of Christmas stuff at. We hardly had any room in the car. So, next time I am leaving the extra clothes at home and saving car room for goodies. ha-ha
Nice talking with you.
Ruby
|
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
October 12, 2007
11:06 AM Post #4075303
| Nice talking to you, also Ruby. Take care and enjoy this beautiful fall and cool day. |
Bettypauze
Victoria Harbour, ON
(Zone 5b)
October 29, 2007
4:08 PM Post #4136455
| Checking in on you gals..wondering how the cleaning is going..
Got up at 5:00 on Sat. and thought I'd get all the top floor dusted, moped and looking fine..by noon I had achieved my goal..sat down and thought, now the front wall of the living room..had new window put it, contractor put drywall and did the mudding..you guessed it, undertook that project and I've dust from one end to another..so there went my cleaning..why couldn't I have had the brainstorm Sat. morning and saved myself 7 hrs. of work...oh well..back to square 1 |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
October 30, 2007
4:54 AM Post #4138491
| Awwwww Betty - I know how you feel, what a bummer!!
I would love to have some carpentry types of things done around my place, but hate the mess that is made whenever something is done.
Good luck with every thing.
Ruby |
Bettypauze
Victoria Harbour, ON
(Zone 5b)
November 8, 2007
4:57 PM Post #4172482
| How are you gals doing..just checking in on you all..are you becoming more organized... |
gloria125
Greensboro, AL
November 8, 2007
6:31 PM Post #4172867
| Not me. Im still in a mess! |
rubyw
Crozet, VA
November 10, 2007
7:27 AM Post #4178070
| Sorry to say that my room has become a piled up mess again. It is full of Christmas; presents that I have been buying since the middle of September. I could possibly go ahead and wrap or bag up and put in shed outside. Haven't decided yet whether I will do that or just hurry and put tree up so that I can place the things under the tree instead of the floor in the spare room.
I am really discouraged by it and just close the door and only go there when I have to get something out of a food cabinet that is there or when I go in to water my houseplants.'
Any suggestions? All of the housing shows say to give the room a purpose vs. using it for two or three different things. It could either be a bedroom if I buy something to sleep on and put in there or it could be sort of a library with a chair where I could go and read. Only problem with idea number two is that I hardly ever find the time these days to read. Since taking up gardening a few years ago and add all the other things that I am involved in, I haven't had time to sit and enjoy a book or a magazine in those same years. I subscribed to at least ten and possibly a few more magazines and haven't read any of them. They are stored very nicely in that room waiting for the day that I can maybe once again take to the books. Oh well.
Awwww gee, don't want to get in to that today. ha-ha I hope that anyone reading will have a great weekend.
Ruby |
