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Tooo funny!
At least you still have a sense of humour regarding this very aggravating subject.
The deer here are constantly nibbling and munching (in the wee hours so I only see the evidence - droppings, tracks, and destroyed plants...)
Can't wait till the elk make their migratory stroll through here. Yikes. They can strip a garden down to the soil and can be aggressive as well.
I love the deranged dash. We've tried it many times at our house. Just last night my husband, made a dash at deer, flailing his briefcase at them as they ate the new tree in our yard that's not even planted yet!
I've resorted to fencing the back yard so that I can garden in peace. I must admit that it's only 6 feet high, but so far so good, except when the landscapers left the gate open! It took me all day to calm down after the damage wrought by the Bambi and his family. We have only a few fenced yards in our neighborhood which the deer seem not to jump as there is plenty of other delights for them in the neighborhood.
I have tried all sorts of deer repellent with various success. Mostly, if it's your turn, then they are going to eat no matter what you've done. A friend of mine told me "Oh they never eat that." Lo and behold, our deer have not heard that and they are munching happily on things they are not supposed to eat. I've resorted to replacing the eaten plants with those they have not eaten. My herb garden is thriving. They tried the oregano when I first planted it, but thought better of it, I suppose. The thyme, rosemary, and lavender are doing well.
I have problems with deer also. I find all the fencing options very expensive. If I build a fence by just running a tight strand of wire at 2, 4, 6, and 8 feet will the deer go through it? Surely someone has tried this already and found out if it works.