Clean and Clutter-free: Ammmm SOOOOOO prettyyyyyy oohhhh SOOOOO PRETTY

Forum: Clean and Clutter-free Replies: 18, Views: 302 Print -

Author Content c0razonsalvaje Miami, FL February 10, 2008 12:45 PM Post #4519683 Hello everyone, hope you are all in good health and in a happy mood... well i guess by now you are saying i have heard this saying before... am sooo pretty ohhhh soooo pretty, well yes u have ... u probably saw the movie with Jack Nicholson called ANGER MANAGEMENT, Wellllll i ammmm soooo soooooo frustrated with CLUTTER that i just don't know where to begin.. I am supposed to be re-locating to either Alabama, Georgia or Tennessee i have no clue where i will end up do to the fact that i like all 3 states, my son recently moved to Alabama but i also will be having my other son moving to Georgia so i kind of want to be in the middle mile wise and i am thinking more towards Tennessee... to make the story short i don't seem to be able to get rid of JUNK ! I have been collecting stuff for about 32 years of my married life and my husband it's just like me! He likes to collect stuff but his JUNK it's outside in our yard! how do you like that? am the inside JUNK collector and he is the outside JUNK collector... To move it's very expensive i am guessing we will need two 18 wheelers to be able to take all this JUNK to our next home state... Guys i am really really deppressed where i can not even function mentally. am i the only one? hope not ! I am drowning in knick knacks that sometimes i do not even like! Have so many stuff i can not even see my dresser let alone the room...BUTTTT I KEEP ADDING TO MY COLLECTION !.. my parents are not like this, did not learn this behavior from them, my mother has lots of stuff but very well organized, my sister and brother are also organized. I do not know why am like this, i am very unhappy and sometimes i do not want to get up from bed just not to see the mess i have in the whole house... JUNK JUNK JUNNNNKKKKKKK all over this house that i feel the roof is caving down on me... PLEASEEEEEE HELPPPPPP ! i don't know what to do... sometimes i wish i was never born ! well guys thanks for reading hope i did not disturb or deppressed any of you have a blessed and wonderful day Nery (a housewife in distress) jeri11 Central, LA (Zone 8b) February 10, 2008 1:07 PM Post #4519750 Hi Nery!!! I find myself in the same situation!!! We got in our motorhome(40') and left for 2 years and survived nicely without the junk!!! Came home to get rid of the junk and 4 years later there is even more!!!! I've decided to get rid of some of it but can't dispose of anything!!! What are we to do? Jeri ecrane3 Dublin, CA (Zone 9a) February 10, 2008 1:17 PM Post #4519773 Are you willing to part with some of your junk? If you're at the point where you're willing to get rid of it, I'd just collect it all up and have a big giant garage sale before you move, and anything that doesn't sell throw it away or give it to charity. Then you can start with a clean slate at your new house. The problem comes in if you're not really willing to get rid of things yet. If that's the problem, then you have to force yourself to really figure out what you love and need to keep and what can go. The way I do it when I'm cleaning out closets or something is to think about when was the last time I used something. If it's been more than a year, then it goes in the trash or to charity. If there's an item that I'm not sure if I ought to keep or not, I think about how much it would cost to replace--if it's something cheap, then I figure if I do end up needing it someday I can always go buy a new one for $10, so I throw it out (and I don't think I've ever ended up needing it and having to buy a new one) If you end up with a lot of things that you don't use often but can't bring yourself to get rid of, rent a storage unit and keep them there. That way they're out of the house, but you can always get them again if you need them. Then after they've been in storage for a year and you've never needed them, you can feel better about getting rid of them completely (plus every month when the bill comes for the storage unit, you can think about whether you really want that stuff bad enough to keep paying for storage, or if you should just get rid of it) The other key is to do things slowly...don't expect that you're going to spend a few days and do nothing but organize things, you'll never get up the motivation to do that. Instead, pick a room, set a timer for 10 minutes, and during that 10 minutes do as much as you can in that one room. Stop when the timer goes off. Do those 10 minute chunks as often as you feel like, and before you know it you'll start to see real progress. It's just too hard to work up the motivation to tackle a huge overwhelming mess, but it's a lot easier to motivate yourself to spend 10 minutes on it. You can also use your upcoming move as inspiration--have a moving company come out and give you an estimate of how much they would charge you to move all your junk, chances are you will be absolutely shocked by the price and that might be the motivation you need to get rid of some things. And also when it comes to selling your house, a house overflowing with clutter will take many, many more months to sell and sell for a much lower price (if it sells at all!) than a neat, clean house where people can actually see the house and not just your stuff. c0razonsalvaje Miami, FL February 10, 2008 1:51 PM Post #4519897 thank u jerri11 and eucrane3 for your replies... Jerri all we can do is i guess take all the advise we can ! eucrane those are really great ideas, but i do not think i want to spend that money in storage that means paying more for the junk that i have and do not really want... i do have problems getting away from my stuff getting rid of it for emotional reasons... so right there i have a huge hurdle to cross... i will try the timer idea it sounds really good... thanks for trying to help me i really need it... God bless ecrane3 Dublin, CA (Zone 9a) February 10, 2008 2:52 PM Post #4520120 The reason I suggested paying for storage is that the moment you start having to pay to keep your junk, it helps break that emotional connection and may make you more willing to consider getting rid of it. Nobody really wants to pay to keep things, so after a month or two of storage you'll feel much more willing to throw everything out. It can be a way to help break the emotional attachment to the items--as long as you're keeping them in your house and it's not costing you anything, it's too easy to say oh, I could never get rid of that, but when you're having to pay $20 or so a month to keep those items, you all of a sudden lose some of that emotion and it becomes a more rational financial decision. The 10 minute trick is really meant to help if you're emotionally ready to get rid of things but you're feeling totally overwhelmed and don't know where to start, it helps break things into manageable chunks. But if you're still feeling emotional about a lot of your things and aren't really at the point yet where you're willing to get rid of them, the 10 minute thing really isn't all that helpful since it doesn't help you decide get rid of things or not, it just helps you get moving on the process by making it not feel as overwhelming. c0razonsalvaje Miami, FL February 10, 2008 8:37 PM Post #4521414 I got you now very good tips... again thank you for the time and suggestions, will try to do that and see how it will go... have a great night... Bubba_MoCity Missouri City, TX February 11, 2008 11:36 AM Post #4523809 Cost of moving things you don't really want/need adds up. We eliminated about 6 pickup loads wen we moved from CA back home to TX. The thrift center that was the beneficiary, was so excited to see what we brought in. By the third trip, was watching some of our stuff go out the door, so know they made some money, and made someone happy to buy it. And we got a really nice tax deduction, not to mention saving at least a grand on the move. In fact we got a refund check from the moving company once they had the actual weight - we had paid based on the estimate. growgirl59 Saint Louis, MO February 11, 2008 2:11 PM Post #4524413 I had (and still have, if I'm not careful) the problem of keeping too much stuff. I would panic at the thought of parting with any of it. I grew up with almost nothing and would always think back to what these things would have meant to me back then. Problem is, that time is past and these thing were weighing me down - physically and emotionally. My stuff was neatly displayed, but every bit of space was filled and little by little I stuffed my garage, shed, basement and finally the attic. (You wouldn't believe what I had to do to get up there.) I knew I was hoarding and that it wasn't healthy, but I couldn't bear to get rid of my stuff. A few years ago we rented a condo for a week in Florida. It was fully furnished and the brochure said the kitchen had everything needed for preparing meals. When I got there I looked around at the clean, clutter free look of the place. No way could you live for a week with so few things --I was sure of that. But it was plenty. I loved the feel of the extra space in the pantry and kitchen drawers. I could grab what I needed without untangling 5 other kitchen gadgets from it. Dinners could be made in this clutter free environment in less than half the time and clean up was finished in no time at all. We got through the week with 1 shampoo and conditioner, not the 8 I have in the shower. We rotated 5 towels for the week, and always had a fresh one. I counted 23 towels in my linen closet. (There's only 3 of us here). The list goes on and on. The condo had knick knacks displayed, but only enough to be of interest...not so many as to overwhelm. You get the idea. So---when I got home, I invited my sister over to go through the basement with me. I knew she would be brutally honest and tell me which of my "treasures" were actually trash and how many of each household items were necessary and what what was excessive. I was amazed at what I discovered. There were certain things that were so out of control that didn't seem odd to me until she pointed it out. For instance, I had 119 cans of room freshener. I'm embarrassed to even put that in here. But for some reason, I did. There were several items like this that I seemed to have no control over. It took 3 days to go through this stuff and I fought the urge to go out to the trash to retrieve things that were "still good". I got through the basement and started in on the garage. Eventually, I made it through everything, keeping only the "cream of the crop". The rest went to a thrift store for the Kidney Foundation. It helped to know that it wasn't going to a landfill and wasted. Long story short, I still have problem areas. Plants, candles, lamps and soft blankets seem to be my weaknesses. I realize that's alot of problem areas, but I had 25 or more weaknesses before. I struggle with it everyday, but my house is clean, organized and for the most part, clutter free. There's a book by Don Aslett called "Clutter's Last Stand" that really makes you stop and think before you add another thing to your home. I highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with the urge to hoard. When your house is free of the excess, you can enjoy it so much more. The chaotic feeling of the room coming in on you is gone. You feel lighter inside and happier all over. It's so difficult to do, but SO VERY WORTH IT. Hang in there...you can do it. Maybe my sister can come and help you! I'll even throw in a free can of room freshener!!! This message was edited Feb 11, 2008 12:16 PM Bettypauze Victoria Harbour, ON (Zone 5b) February 11, 2008 3:57 PM Post #4524773 Not much clutter remaining in my home..love the country look for much of the clutter was seen as 'treasures'! So did a little trick that I saw on one of the clutter threads on another group and made it into a game..took an empty role of toilet paper..and played I spy..quickly aim it into the room..in that section I would go through, place what had a home to it's original home storage and what I had to hesitate for a moment on went into a bin for either garage sale or Salvation Army drop off.. it was certainly done in work bites, not overwhelming! I find myself now never leaving a room unless I glance around to see if something is out of its element... irisloverdee Lebanon, OR February 12, 2008 7:29 PM Post #4530049 I collect and used to collect even more than I do now. How it came to be that I finally could part with alot of stuff that at one time was a treasure to me. First one family member is such a pack rat that they can not even use the bathtub, only the separate shower, all halls are so narrow filled with collectiables that a normal sized person must go sideways. They finally cleaned out one room was told and it took them 6 months to empty a 10x10 room that I kid you not was filled floor to cleaning, wall to wall with stuff... The biggest help came when my mother in law passed away. I had to go thru everything...clean house but every corner, cabinet, closet, shop and garage was filled. Papers! old linens not heirloom stuff but just old towels sheets etc. Reason she remembered the depression too well. Took me 2 months of full time sorting, cleaning, and was pushed because we had to sell it FAST...then what I could not figure out what to do with, put in storage and when you PAY to keep it you start thinking WHY. I do not want my kids to have to do this. Where my biggest problem is that I am a crafter. I now have gotten it down to sewing, beading, and painting...still too much with another type of business that takes ton of time. A commerical iris/daylily grower. Start early and many excellent suggustions here that I wish I had long awy. Good luck Denise posyblossom Athens, PA (Zone 5b) February 12, 2008 8:27 PM Post #4530350 UhOh! I am considered a high risk to have around clutter. I go too far the other way and have tossed stuff I wished I'd kept☻and have made my DH upset because here is the rule: If I don't use it or look at it in one year, I toss it out or give it away or give it to someone else for their yard sale ,not yours,too dangerous! My sister-in-law and Mom used to go through every thing I tossed in the trash. Sometimes I'd recognize an old pocketbook or pair of boots,etc. and they were thrilled with their find. Ah, but I had bare spaces and empty shelves to look at. One time I threw out almost everything in the garage and DH got so mad at me, he started throwing out the stuff I was keeping. I had to rescue good hoses and shovels from the trash haulers when they came. Remember, if you don't use it,you lose it,one way or another☺☺☺☺LU flowerjen central, NJ (Zone 6b) February 22, 2008 12:41 AM Post #4571343 I would not recommend a storage unit, you'll never go thru it all. If you are willing to part with your stuff have a major garage sale(s) before your move. So you can start fresh at your new place. scutler Charleston, SC (Zone 8b) March 9, 2008 3:59 PM Post #4642943 DG is getting to be such a big place, and I don't get out of my corner very often. I was just wandering around a bit today and stumbled onto this thread. Well, I suffer from this problem, too. I made it down to growgirl's book recommendation (you almost had me there) which sent me rushing off to Amazon to get that book. Naturally once I got there I found a bazillion and a half other that I also need desperately, books by the same author, books on the same subject. AND, many were available used and real cheap. I was filling up my cart when I realized, oops, books are one of my problem areas! (I had been on a roll there thinking I was doing something 'good' buying all those books I'll likely never have time to read.) I have to disagree, BTW, with the idea that clutter doesn't start to cost you anything until you move it to a paid storage area. It is already costing us a great deal in emotional baggage or else we wouldn't be here. Seems like moving it to storage shifts the cost a bit more towards a more visible and rational (I like that word used above) form of currency. I haven't read past the book recommendation yet because that was my cue to go off happily gathering more stuff - but for a good cause, of course. How about that? Gathering stuff to eliminate clutter. Hmmm. growgirl59 Saint Louis, MO March 11, 2008 10:07 PM Post #4652825 Scutler, I had to laugh when I read your reply about making yet another purchase in order to get rid of things. Ironic, huh? I used to buy every organizational item I could get my hands on ... until they themselves became out of control. Not one was used for its intended purpose. Those of us who tend to over-acquire face withdrawal symptoms much like drug addicts. I really have the other areas of my life in pretty good order. This need to acquire confuses the heck out of me, but I know I have it and I work EVERYDAY on keeping it under control. It gets easier, but never seems to completely subside. It comforts me some to know that I'm not alone. I struggled for years with the problem, but "Clutters Last Stand" made me really stop and think about what the clutter was doing to my life. I found the book for 50 cents at a garage sale, but most libraries have a copy. Just so you know, I obtained more than 25 other self help books on the subject of clutter and never made a change that lasted over a week. This book is easy to read and makes you look at yourself the way you are, not the way you envision yourself. Lastly I want to add that my biggest fear was to want back what I got rid of and to my surprise, I found that I can't recall 95% of it. I feel lighter, happier and better about myself without the excess baggage. Now, if only I can remain strong through GARAGE SALE season!!! This message was edited Mar 11, 2008 9:09 PM Pyewacketcat54 Fort Worth, TX (Zone 8a) March 12, 2008 7:56 AM Post #4653822 3 of my friends and I have tried to declutter,we have found all we are doing is passing it all to each other.LOL Now ,one has a DIL that will be moving close,she is going in the loop,because they are arriving with very little, that should do it. :) bsavage Cave Creek, AZ (Zone 9b) March 21, 2008 9:13 PM Post #4692974 This may sound trite, but I don't mean for it to. Have you ever watched the show "Clean Sweep"? (I think it's on TLC). Or the BBC version "How Clean Is Your House"? "Clean Sweep" is really good at addressing people's need to keep so much stuff, at an emotional level. The reality is, if you're keeping and hoarding, there is probably an emotional reason for it. I hope you find the help you need, it will do you so much good to clean out... kind of like you feel after a good haircut or a nice hot shower after playing in the garden all day. I wish you all the best... Brenda Zaijovan Omaha, NE (Zone 5a) March 25, 2008 3:32 PM Post #4708556 There is a free website out there that can help as well. FLYLady.net. I have been on her group for about 5 years. I only really got things together about a month ago though I just wasn't ready until then. In the last month I guesstimate that I threw-out, recycled or donated at least 500 pounds of clutter. I had help from my folks and from a friend. I made most of the decisions starting in one room. The others helped me carry out, shred, break down boxes, or detail cleaned after I had swept through the room for obvious clutter. This is not the recommended way from FLYLady, she recommends 15 minutes at a time and only throwing away 27 or so things at a time. Each piece of junk mail can count as one thing though. You can sign up for e-mails if you like or you can just get the information from her site. At first you will think she is a bit nuts, but if you follow her suggestions you can start to declutter your life. She really does recommend going slow and not doing everything she recommends from the very first day. There is also a book based on the site called Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley who is Flylady. I still have plenty of clutter. I have a shed a basement and an attic that haven't been decluttered. I haven't gone through all my drawers or cupboards yet. I expect it will be a lifelong fight for me. bsavage Cave Creek, AZ (Zone 9b) March 25, 2008 5:16 PM Post #4708868 If it hasn't already aired in your area today, watch Oprah today and tomorrow. It is a repeat of a family whose 3000 sq. ft. home is completely filled with clutter, and they get help with de-cluttering and determining why it has gotten that way. It's a really interesting show. Brenda flowerjen central, NJ (Zone 6b) March 28, 2008 12:31 PM Post #4721679 Wow, saw that Oprah show. That is just wild once you see all the stuff that was kept in a 3000 sq ft house spread out in a 10,000 sq ft warehouse!!!

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