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Article: Gardener / Masochist: Living life on the edge!

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Forum: Article: Gardener / MasochistReplies: 31, Views: 262
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chrissy100

chrissy100
Sydney
Australia

February 29, 2008
3:12 AM

Post #4603343

Thanks for a good laugh! mate...having been known to wave axes at stubborn plants in the past, the episode of tree battering to induce flowering was priceless . These days I just sing to them and they flower in self defence!
chrissy
Zuzu
Sebastopol, CA
(Zone 9a)

February 29, 2008
8:39 AM

Post #4603987

A wonderful, wonderful article, Victor. The scene of that man beating the lifeless tree with a baseball bat has been printed indelibly in my mind. I resent it when my plants die for no good reason, so the idea is ludicrous and appalling, yet oddly satisfying too.
doccat5
Fredericksburg, VA
(Zone 7b)

February 29, 2008
9:43 AM

Post #4604013

Victor, you "scored" yet again! Great article!
debi_k
S of Lake Ontario, NY
(Zone 6a)

February 29, 2008
10:08 AM

Post #4604024

You had me laughing at 5am! Great article.
Dutchlady1
Naples, FL
(Zone 10a)

February 29, 2008
10:17 AM

Post #4604027

Ditto!! Thanks for the great start to my day.
grammyphoeb
Upper Hudson Valley, NY
(Zone 5a)

February 29, 2008
10:30 AM

Post #4604045

Enjoyed the article very much! Eleanor
svplantingfool
South Venice, FL
(Zone 9b)

February 29, 2008
11:45 AM

Post #4604127

Perfect article to get us ready for a weekend of gardening!
Dea
Frederick, MD
(Zone 6a)

February 29, 2008
1:01 PM

Post #4604242

Priceless article - oh my, the things we do as gardeners, to ourselves and our plants - I rolled with laughter at this - thanks !!

pixie62560

pixie62560
South China, ME
(Zone 5a)

February 29, 2008
1:30 PM

Post #4604300

Great laugh this morning Victor, thank you! So how many baseball bats do you own?????
Seandor
Springfield, MA
(Zone 6a)

February 29, 2008
2:09 PM

Post #4604394

OMG - the part about ordering plants and hiding it from dear spouse was sooooo painfully accurate! LOL
pirl
(Arlene) Southold, NY
(Zone 7a)

February 29, 2008
2:25 PM

Post #4604444

Victor!!!

What a wonderful article and so true!

One aster just wasn't happy where I wanted it to grow so I moved it and still it wouldn't bloom but the third time was the charm and then it took over the entire area and ran wild. Then there are the lilies I planted in full sun only to have that little sapling take off and create a shade garden.

Very enjoyable morning read, Victor!!!
AYankeeCat
Fairfield County, CT
(Zone 6b)

February 29, 2008
2:53 PM

Post #4604519

Waaaay to funny! Please tell me there is not a 12 step program for plantaholics.
gloria125
Greensboro, AL

February 29, 2008
3:46 PM

Post #4604713

Leave it to Victor to expose an underlying psychosis!

I don't know how many times Ive killed the rose Peace! This year I bought another one! This plant is going to be blooming by July, OR ELSE! Who ever named this rose was a perverse person indeed.

Thanks,

Victor
JasperDale
Long Beach, CA
(Zone 10a)

February 29, 2008
4:40 PM

Post #4604911

Another great read, and filled with your much loved humor!
Thanks, Victor !

Mike

victorgardener

victorgardener
Lower Hudson Valley, NY
(Zone 6b)

February 29, 2008
4:42 PM

Post #4604915

Thanks all! Glad you enjoyed it.

carrielamont

carrielamont
Bedford, TX
(Zone 8a)

February 29, 2008
5:36 PM

Post #4605119

Ho ho ha ha hee hee, Victor, the title was not enticing, Gardener/Masochist? Certainly not me!, thought I, but then I saw our well-known humor columnist's by-line and decided to keep reading. Good thing, because I recognized myself over and over. Well, let's say I recognized the previous owners/builders of my house in the 1950's. They were already old and in a hurry; everything, in terms of landscaping, was planted too close to the foundation. Of course, everything they planted soon outgrew its appointed spot, whatever it was. Those cute little burning bushes they planted all along the house and garage are now HUGE and neither cute nor little; in fact, unlike the dwarf burning bush cultivar, ordinary burning bush is now a noxious weed in Massachusetts. Anyway, an enjoyable as well as thought-provoking article, and I thank you. x, Carrie
Sharran
Calvert City, KY
(Zone 7a)

February 29, 2008
5:51 PM

Post #4605174

Ahh, Victor. You scored again.
I had instant success after the third replant of my first Japanese Maple. Having accomplished that, I knew I would have instant success with my second JM. It had a lovely first year. I waited attentively for it's second year, and finally after doing the scratch/ bark test and waiting well into its third year, I even called my nursery guy who pronounced it "well and truly" dead.
I now have another one in its place...in its same place. We'll see how its second year plays out.
A great read, as always, thank you.

melody

melody
Benton, KY
(Zone 7a)


February 29, 2008
9:44 PM

Post #4605966

Great read! We can all see ourselves somewhere within this article. I snorted tea out my nose reading about the baseball bat incident.

carrielamont

carrielamont
Bedford, TX
(Zone 8a)

February 29, 2008
9:52 PM

Post #4606001

LOL Mel!

darius

darius
So.App.Mtns.
United States
(Zone 5b)

February 29, 2008
11:19 PM

Post #4606266

LOL Victor... you've GOT OUR NUMBER!
roybird
Santa Fe, NM

February 29, 2008
11:29 PM

Post #4606294

Ha, ha! This explains why I spent several, miserable hours digging up day lilies and red hot poker plants to thin them but then left the rest planted in the same place so I can enjoy digging them up another time, soon.
elsie
Lafayette, NJ
(Zone 6a)

February 29, 2008
11:42 PM

Post #4606333

Two thumbs up Victor. I thoroughly enjoyed your article. LOL
gloria125
Greensboro, AL

February 29, 2008
11:42 PM

Post #4606335

Sounds like a good plan to me, Roybird. A daylily/red hot poker factory!
roybird
Santa Fe, NM

March 1, 2008
12:58 AM

Post #4606557

I sold some off at a garage sale, in fact!

victorgardener

victorgardener
Lower Hudson Valley, NY
(Zone 6b)

March 1, 2008
1:00 AM

Post #4606573

Thanks everyone! I appreciate it.
JasperDale
Long Beach, CA
(Zone 10a)

March 1, 2008
2:19 AM

Post #4606925

I had a good laugh at the baseball bat incident as well. Great imagery it conjures up !
I have one of those horrible fruitless Mulberry tree's in my garden, which the brown leaves hang on to for months, so I go out with a pressure nozzle to blow them off and my neighbors are ready to have me committed.

victorgardener

victorgardener
Lower Hudson Valley, NY
(Zone 6b)

March 1, 2008
2:58 AM

Post #4607113

Get a bat.
rcn48
Lexington, VA
(Zone 6a)

March 1, 2008
9:06 AM

Post #4607839

LOL, once again, an excellent and humorous article - thanks for the laugh!
bbrookrd
Nantucket, MA
(Zone 7a)

March 4, 2008
3:49 PM

Post #4621288

Victor, Too funny and oh so true. I loved the baseball bat part as I know it is sometimes used to get a non blooming wisteria vine to bloom again, but only it is alive. Duh? Patti
JasperDale
Long Beach, CA
(Zone 10a)

March 4, 2008
4:27 PM

Post #4621464

Good one Patti ! It's like the saying, "Why beat a dead horse?"

victorgardener

victorgardener
Lower Hudson Valley, NY
(Zone 6b)

March 4, 2008
4:37 PM

Post #4621512

Thanks Patti. JD, that's exactly what my friend was doing!
Pyewacketcat54
Fort Worth, TX
(Zone 8a)

March 16, 2008
2:31 AM

Post #4669129

The article was a riot,but I have to ask,you know of a 12 step for us? I have done all but the bat... and can't even go near a nursery or anywhere that sells plants without buying at least one.Glad to know it's not just me,thanks for the laughs. Becki

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Other Article: Gardener / Masochist Threads you might be interested in:

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