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I have posted in the parenting forum a couple of times.
Over all DS has been doing better. We did a series of home drug tests (which were recommended to me by someone in the field saying they are reliable.) It seems like, for now, we have gotten past that hurdle. I even "overheard" -via his text messages on his phone- that his GF has a friend who is struggling right now and he even came to me and asked me where I got the home tests as they were trying to help this friend. More than a month had passed from when I read the text to when he asked me so I didn't feel as though it was a set up to gain my trust.
Anyway, the past few days (weeks maybe) he has been very uptight and tense. Of course being the one person in his life he knows will always love him, I get the brunt of his moods! We have been arguing a lot and I have been trying not to get to tense over it.
Today he had state level solo and ensembles and I sorta thought that was what he was tensed about. When I went to s & e today he was a bit short with me even after the performance. Admittedly, I was having a bad menopause day today. I told him I was going to just leave (he was taking the school bus w/friends). I hadn't eaten all day and was getting very hungry. He said there was a place with food in the next building so I thought maybe he would go with me to get food. I asked if he had eaten and he said he wasn't planning on eating. Then saw his GF and her parents were starting to move away so he said he had to go and took off. I said "I guess I'll just leave then."
He sent me a text message a few minutes later saying:
Yea. Im sorry. I'll talk to u sometime soon. I just cant do anything right lately.
I sent him a reply:
You do a lot right! It's not all you but it's not all me either. I haven't left yet.
I decided to stay and wait for the results. When they were posted (he got a 2nd BTW) I called to let him know they were up and he wanted to know what he got. I asked him what he was doing and he said "Getting ready to eat lunch." I just sorta said "Oh" and he said that he really needed to talk to me and we would probably talk Monday. I said OK and let him go.
I was really hurt because I had wanted to go get a bite to eat with him and he said he wasn't going to eat and brushed me off. Then he went and got something to eat and most likely it was with his GF and her parents.
After that phone call he sent me this text message:
Im sorry. I do love you. Im just doing a crappy job.
To which I replied:
Your just a teen and I am stressed over a lot more than just you. Are you taking the bus home? I'm still in the parking lot.
He replied that he was taking the bus and I then sent this message:
Ok try to have a good day. Know tHat I love you too - NO MATTER WHAT!!
That was the end of the conversation. He is at his dad's house for the weekend so it will be Monday before I see him again.
He is suppose to take medication for ADD and had issues with Aderall and Stratera didn't work well. I just found out 2 weeks ago that he stopped taking the Stratera. I don't know if the ADD meds help with the moods or not. I do not fully understand them.
DS is 17 y,o. so we are at the point where we are really struggling with his reach for independence. He is also the last one at home. On many levels we have a good relationship but then all that teen age crud gets in the way and I have to be "MOM" and we don't get along so great. Don't get me wrong, I know "MOM" is way more important than friend and I am just trying to keep it together and see him through to graduation (one more year!!)
Any thoughts or suggestions before the talk Monday would be wonderful.
I am hoping that whatever he has to talk to me about is just normal teen age stuff that we know is not the end of the world but to a teen it is. I am worried though. As much as I have talked to him and tried, I am 99.9% sure he and his GF are "active". I have always concluded any talk with, if you are going to go ahead anyhow, at the very least PLEASE use protection. But, if he didn't listen to the expectations that he not be active at least until he is out of H.S. and preferable until he is in a serious commited ADULT relationship, then who is to say he listened the the conclusion?
There are so many things he could have to say. I for sure need your prayers and/or positive thoughts. Anything you may have to say will be appreciated as well.
Sorry if this post is too long, I don't always know how to shorten what I want to say.
Sheri
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