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Trying to take a vacation

Tucson, AZ

Hi all,

I'm new here. I live in Tucson and my mom has moved here from NY. She lives in an assisted living center and is very happy and active there. My brother (her adopted son from my dad's first marriage) lives in Denver and has a house here as a vacation home doesn't get very involved in her care as they've never gotten along well. I've had to give up full time employment so that I can help care for her. My husband and I struggle financially because of this. My brother has made a lot of money in his lifetime and is quite comfortable. I asked him about possibly paying me for some of my time helping mom but he doesn't agree. So, we continue to struggle. Anyway, I take a one month vacation every summer to return to NY and, like clockwork, my mother has a health episode either right before I leave or while I'm away. I even hired a part time caregiver to work with her while I'm away and my husband is still in Tucson and is in touch frequently. I know this is not unusual but I'm just frustrated. Of course, I'm trying not to worry but worrying about my mom seems to be my responsibility in life. Yesterday she refused to get out of bed, complaining of an upset stomach and aching legs. Later in the day my DH spoke with her and said she sounded just fine. AAAArrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!

I figure I'm not alone in this and just wondered about the experiences of others of you. Thanks for listening.


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