| Author | Content |
DONNA_11
South Coast, RI
(Zone 6b)
July 23, 2008
06:47 AM Post #5306110
| Very endearing article, you are a very devoted daughter. The photography is magnificent. |
HollyAnnS
Dover, PA
(Zone 6b)
July 23, 2008
09:38 AM Post #5306581
| Wonderful story of Love and Gardening. Very much enjoyed it. |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 23, 2008
10:00 AM Post #5306665
| Thank you both. Donna, it's easy to take pictures out there; the light is always good! When I took those pictures, I was just trying to capture a few shots of what is probably my last trip to Santa Fe. It was not with any thoughts of publishing them! I'm glad you liked the article. |
bbrookrd
nantucket, MA
(Zone 7a)
July 23, 2008
10:04 AM Post #5306681
| Carrie, charming, touching and heartbreaking. I so miss my dad, he died in 1981, like you miss your old dad now. It is funny you talk so much about tarragon. I grow it here in Nantucket. Some years it returns and other years it up an dies. Never flourished, but enough to cook with always. My Dad's favorite chicken dish was one made with tarragon, and mushrooms. This year, now that I have spent a glorious day with you, I can assume that mine burst forth in your honor with more vigor than ever in 25 years that I have grown it in this garden. Here is a picture of it taken yesterday after I gave it a serious hair cut last week. Thanks. Patti 
Click the image for an enlarged view.
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carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 23, 2008
10:19 AM Post #5306801
| http://www.taunton.com/finegardening/design/articles/growing...
Oh, Patti, apparently haircuts are part of the key! I wish I had read that article before I rotted Amy's tarragon start. Yours looks glorious!!! Thanks for reading; I'm glad you enjoyed the article! |
beckygardener
(Becky) in Sebastian, FL
(Zone 10a)
July 23, 2008
01:30 PM Post #5307763
| Carrie - Lovely article! When my dad became ill with heart failure, he also stopped doing all those things he loved. He did a little gardening, but his great love was horses. He used to help my sister with her horses every day until he became ill, then he didn't even want to see them after that. He was a bit angry at times. I think my father missed those hobbies he loved and it frustrated him that he couldn't do them anymore they way he used to. So he gave up on them completely. He lived a short while longer, but never enjoyed his hobbies again. He's been gone for many years now, but his involvement with his beloved horses will never be forgotten by anyone in our family. :-)
Keep trying with your dad. You just never know when something might spark his interest again. Or maybe he needs a new interest? Something that he could easily master? I think it is not just a love for a hobby, but also a sense of pride in doing it well.
Thanks for such a wonderful article!
~Becky~ |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 23, 2008
02:55 PM Post #5308101
| Becky,
I know what you mean. . . part of why we/he decided he should move east was that trying to live his old life was so impossibly frustrating for him! At least in a different place he could start over with a different type of life, at least that was our thought. Harder or more complicated than it sounds! It's like going away to college in reverse. Lots if the activities at his "place" sound like fun to me - learn to salsa dance, movie night, Scrabble championship, field trips - but he's just not interested. That stroke really socked him.
Your father sounds like someone you should be proud of!
Carrie |
twinkielee
Minden, LA
July 23, 2008
03:27 PM Post #5308233
| My dad passed away 16 years ago this week. He was a farmer for most of his life and I got my love of the outdoors from him. He was always laughing and whistling as he worked or fished and was known by everyone as a jovial character. In his later years, as he lost most of his sight to complications of diabetes, he would still amble around the yard and "look" at his flowers with his ever-present smile; but, when he began to have TIA's, his demeanor changed and he eventually lost interest in all his favorite activities. His doctor told us this is common with stroke. I know how distressing this is for you after the most interesting life your father has led previously. He may regain some of that interest in time. My dad rallied after the initial ones but my sisters and I had to really work at helping rekindle them, and we introduced him to some new ones-- books on tapes for one. I wish you the best-- and your dad, too. |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 23, 2008
03:42 PM Post #5308283
| And my thoughts are with you on this anniversary week - I've heard anniversaries can be difficult. My dad's doctor told us the same thing, that a lot of the changes in his demeanor can be attributed to the stroke(s). All we can do is keep trying.
I've been following his orders to bring him no flowers, but I notice that someone brought him lilies. (I try to be obedient. Sometimes.) My garden is looking so good - maybe I'll just pick him a bouquet. . .
Thank you for writing! |
robcorreia
San Diego, CA
(Zone 10b)
July 23, 2008
05:36 PM Post #5308813
| Carrie, I was moved by your article. Don't be hard on yourself. Even if you don't ever get him to enjoy gardening again, do it for him! When my very dear grandma had a stroke, I swore I would turn my garden in a piece of eden and dedicate it to her. She is still working on getting better, and although she can't come visit (the trip is way to long for her nowadays) I love sharing my joys of gardening with her. Make yourself happy, and your dad will be happy to see it.
Roberta |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 23, 2008
05:55 PM Post #5308895
| Oh, thank you, Roberta! It was hard to find the perfect balance of how to write about him, because things are still very much in turmoil week to week. I appreciate your concern, and I won't give up! He is happy that I am writing articles (when he remembers that I am writing articles).
Carrie |
robcorreia
San Diego, CA
(Zone 10b)
July 23, 2008
06:04 PM Post #5308937
| See? Make yourself happy, and that in itself will be a joy for him! : ) |
beckygardener
(Becky) in Sebastian, FL
(Zone 10a)
July 23, 2008
06:06 PM Post #5308957
| I like your advice, robcorreia! :-) |
bivbiv
Central FL, FL
(Zone 9b)
July 23, 2008
06:15 PM Post #5309000
| Thank you for a lovely story. I lost my father when I was only 8 and still have wonderful memories of him. My most cherished possession is his shaving brush. |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 23, 2008
06:17 PM Post #5309012
| I agree. You cannot make anyone else happy by neglecting yourself OR by neglecting the other person. In a relationship, that is, and Dad might be past being able to participate in a relationship. Still, it is excellent advice! |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 23, 2008
06:19 PM Post #5309029
| Thank you for sharing that with us, bivbiv. I'm glad you liked the article! |
CapeCodGardener
Mid-Cape, MA
(Zone 7a)
July 23, 2008
06:51 PM Post #5309195
| Carrie, a lovely and moving article. Many of us responded to the love you expressed for your dad. My father also lost interest in his usual interests after his brain surgery for a tumor, and it was hard for me and the rest of the family to accept (though perhaps not so hard for him--hard to tell.)
Anyway, I have grown tarragon in pots for two years. This herb doesn't make it through our MA winter (unlike chives, thyme, and others) but I just purchase a little pot at the nursery and enjoy it all summer.
| Quoted: | | I wish I could ask him about tarragon, which I've tried to grow, unsuccessfully, back east. |
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Jan23
Salem Cnty, NJ
(Zone 7b)
July 23, 2008
07:17 PM Post #5309293
| I'm typing this with tears in my eyes. Thank you for jogging my memory and I'm sure ,even though this was probably difficult to write, it was a Good thing for you to do. Yes, continue to try to share your joys of gardeneing with him,
We didn't realize how sick Dad was when they moved down here (10 yrs. ago Labor Day) He really didn't want to leave the farm, but it wasn't physically feasible for them to stay. He quickly turned in on himself, and sadly, but thankfully his illness ended his life pretty quickly. It just pained him to leave the farm. Try not to be too hard on yourself. (easier said than done from one speaking from experience) We miss him sooo much. He knew everything about gardening. Wish I had paid closer attention.
Will be thinking of you. Thanks for sharing.
HUGS, Jan |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 23, 2008
08:25 PM Post #5309553
| Jan, I appreciate all you've said. It's difficult to be the care-takers, the ones making the decisions, instead of just the kids, isn't it?
Emily, how could he get his tarragon to be perennial in zone 6 or even 5, and we can't here? I think it's too wet here, but Patti can do it. It's all about drainage... Still, I think your solution would be perfect for me!
Thank you both for writing! |
Jan23
Salem Cnty, NJ
(Zone 7b)
July 23, 2008
10:50 PM Post #5310306
| What is the term for us - the sandwich generation - taking care of children as well as parents? Not sure. Yes, it is difficult. All kinds of emotions are in play everyday. |
Jan23
Salem Cnty, NJ
(Zone 7b)
July 23, 2008
10:53 PM Post #5310328
| Actually, my kids are grown, but you never stop parenting them. You just do it in your head and try not to intervene. lol Now it's time for helping with the grands too. |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 23, 2008
11:35 PM Post #5310522
| Oh ho no, my kids are not quite grown - teenagers, one just starting high school, the other just starting college. Student loans and cheerleader squad. Ack. |
Jan23
Salem Cnty, NJ
(Zone 7b)
July 24, 2008
08:36 AM Post #5311437
| Ohhhh, student loans. Sports, but not cheerleading, actually, the oldest was a cheerleader in college. He was tall and he could throw the girls up high.
One of the twins went to the Coast Guard Academy in CT. so no loans for him. Yippee. With 3 in college at once it was rough.
Good luck with the sorting out. Doing some of that here also. Mom kept every card, etc. lol |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 24, 2008
02:33 PM Post #5313073
| Yeah, my 9th grader (girl) is tall and strong! |
bbrookrd
nantucket, MA
(Zone 7a)
July 25, 2008
01:05 AM Post #5316342
| Carrie, cactus dish? Maybe he would like that. Here is a sedum one I made for your pal, my DH, for father's day. Will you ever forget his dramatic readings of the plant labels at the Arnold Arboretum? He deserved this old shoe. It was actually his clog that our dearly departed old dog, Jessie, had stolen from him years before and buried in the woods where I found it last fall. The planter looks much better now a month later than when I took this shot. You must be cheered by all the floods you have caused with your tender memories. Patti 
Click the image for an enlarged view.
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Jan23
Salem Cnty, NJ
(Zone 7b)
July 25, 2008
08:27 AM Post #5317033
| Patti, love the clog in the dish.
When my dad broke his foot they had to cut his workshoe off, so we took the sole home and our dog, Fritzi, loved to chew on it. |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 25, 2008
11:24 AM Post #5317854
| Interesting idea, Patti. . . it would have to be smaller than that as his windowsill is not big at all. And the pot should be blue, of course.
OH YES, the dramatic readings at the Arboretum!!! Good one!!!
Unfortunately, as I was just discussing with my DH, you can't save the rain for when you really need it, or send a little of it off to the SW or the SE. The whole Emerald Necklace is (or was) flooding, traffic really slow yesterday. DH said I had caused all the rain, thunder and lightening with a dirty look at a tree but he calls me a Goddess. |
bbrookrd
nantucket, MA
(Zone 7a)
July 25, 2008
11:54 AM Post #5317973
| Carrie, Oh, a blue long narrow planter with mini cactus. If he objects, tell him it is from your "thorny side". Off to visit my 93 year old mom in Canada after a stop tonight at Tanglewood to an all Brahms concert. We are stopping again on the way back to hear Yo Yo-Ma. I will think about you. Patti |
carrielamont
Milton, MA
(Zone 6a)
July 25, 2008
12:58 PM Post #5318274
| Chalk me up for jealous. Haven't been to Tanglewood in manymanymany years. ♫♫♫♫♫ |
