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The following was a tribute to my Dad inspired by our recent family reunion.
Title: I give ‘em what I can but that ain’t much.”
Papa you would have been proud! I can picture you sitting , a slow almost shy smile on your face, as you watched the fourth generation of your family running, dancing, laughing, playing around their parents, uncles and aunts.
You once said to me: “I’m just a po’r man, all I got is a eight grade education, and my hands to work with. Nah, I ain’t got much but my kids……..they mean everything to me….I give ‘em what I can but that ain’t much.”
Oh, Dad, how I wish you could have been there Saturday night. We had come together earlier to officially bring three new members into the clan. Tanya, her children, Samuel and Abigail, seemed a little overwhelmed that, suddenly, they have so many relatives, but I’m sure they’ll get used to it.
We have come together like we used to in the “old home place.” Just to be together. We are in Georgia; but the hearts of at least two generations, are in South Carolina at that humble grey stucco house sitting in the pine. One uncle told a niece: “ Sometimes, I just want to go back to the old place, I wish I could go home.” We all do.
I smile, your BBQ sauce recipe is a treasured portion of your grandkid’s cooking repertoire. They are even putting together a collection of “old family recipes” to preserve this part of your legacy.
Four generations, can you believe it? We’ve lots to be thankful for, no, to be proud of. Your world was black or white, sometimes, and we could not always understand ; but your core values never changed: honest to a fault, fairness to all, when life deals you a blow--first cry , then pray, stand up brush yourself off, move ahead doing what you believe is right, pray again always pressing ahead. Not spoken words, but we watched and we absorbed.
A generation of six kids. Now we are the older generation, most of our mistakes are behind us. We have survived. Apparently we have cried, prayed, salved our bruises, prayed and pressed ahead. Tonight we can see the rewards of our efforts. You can be proud that not one of the original six or any of their offspring have shamed you. In a world that so easily could have knocked us down and stomped our values in the ground we have triumphed.
We may have chosen some paths other than ones you lay before us, and we understand you are disappointed, but your legacy has kept us strong as we went down those paths. Always do what you feel is right, you taught, we listened and now we pray that our children can tell it to the next generation…….to the third and fourth generations after us.
I wish someone else could have been with us -- my oldest sister. I wonder if she would be grey haired and skinny as a rail? I know she would still be the peacemaker of the family. By now she would be focusing on teaching two more generations to stand up and fight. She would feel the satisfaction of having helped her siblings face life and triumph. All soaking wet ninety pounds of her would be saying to us: “See, I told you, just hold on. Everything will be alright.
Dad, She was your pride and joy. She twisted you around her little finger. We all knew it. I never realized the loss you must have felt until my own girls grew up, swellng my heart with pride most of the time (but sometimes making me want to kick their butts!!) She lives on through two of your granddaughters who each bear her name. I wish they could have known her.
“A name is to be chosen rather abundant riches; favor is better than even silver or gold.” Dad you were so wrong: “Nah, I ain’t got much but my kids……..….I give ‘em what I can but that ain’t much.”
You gave us life, faith, you gave us values, you gave us courage through example. No man can give his family more. These make us rich beyond compare.
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