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I know a little bit of Flylady stuff, I'm just not fully in to it... at least at this point. One thing that really struck a chord with me though, is her very accurate description of my life. I have CHAOS: Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome.
Especially as my garden is developing I really want to share it with people, but it's kind of embarrassing to ask someone over if I intend to walk them around the side of the house to the backyard, never allowing them to set foot in the house! Plus, living with the (literal) chaos inside really takes a silent toll. I can't truly relax, I waste lots of time looking for things that shouldn't be lost, and it just doesn't make me happy.
As per a song from Carolyn Ahrends, my resolution is that every day is New Year's Day, so I can resolve anew - every day if necessary - to try to erase CHAOS from my life. It'll take a while, I know, but I suspect it's worth the struggle.
How about you? Do you have CHAOS?
If you have beat it, what helped? What worked? What didn't?
This is my fourth attempt at responding to this thread; it's a subject I find difficult to talk about. I admire you, maggiemoo, for the guts to post.
I don't have CHAOS anymore, but I did for about 15 years, and it did a number on my children and me what with the embarrassment, inability to have friends over, panicking when the furnace was going to require a repairman, feeling inferior to those who made housekeeping and clutter control look so easy, and just generally being so overwhelmed I couldn't even start.
About 12 years ago a friend told me I needed to make my bed every day and my house would get cleaner. I thought she was nuts. She was a fastidious housekeeper who didn't understand and you can bet she wasn't allowed in my house again. About 18 months ago, in desperation, I thought about her and what she said and I made my bed. I had to step over shoes and clothes and boxes just to get it done. It was a beginning that made a big difference. In about two weeks, my bedroom looked great.
There are other things that happened as well. It wasn't as simple as just making my bed, but I believe that's what had the biggest impact.
Okay... I'll go make my bed right now. What the heck, baby steps, I'm already pretty much into the clean sink thing. Only I do mine first thing in the morning - it usually leads to at least one more thing getting done.
LOL!! I love your sign! I hung a sign over my desk at work: "My desk is not a mess, it's creatively organized"
McG, thanks for sharing that. It's very encouraging to me, it sounds just like what I have to do to make my bed (stepping over shoes, clothes, boxes). Since you did it, I know I can do it, too. I'm going to make my bed right now!
Somebody ask me tomorrow if I made my bed (I'll ask you, Blooms). I'll even try to shine my sink!
:-)
well, i just haven't gotten past the sink & bed thing. i've been doing those quite a while, & its spreading too slowly. i think i make headway, but then it irritates me that i am not finished yet...
what flylady commonly referrs to as "hotspots", just keep on moving around LOL
i'm going through a post holiday disgusted/exhausted/"where's my chocolate?" phase...
Okay, I started not to post here, but here I am.
The things that get me are the people who talk about doing windows and blinds and curtains and stuff like that that I just don't do for months. I know some people that do them routinely. I feel like a slob and don't enjoy being around them. I'm always wondering if they're checking mine when they come over to my house. :)
You mean we're supposed to clean our windows, blinds, and curtains? LOL I don't do mine for months either, IO1.
Well, I definitely have CHAOS. I am working on the baby steps and the shiny sink, but as for making my bed...there is usually always someone IN my bed. My DH works nights so there are only a few hours of the day that our bed is empty. I guess I could go in there and make the bed after he gets up, but by then it's time to pick up the kids from school, help with homework, make dinner...the usual.
I don't make ours everyday either. Shhhhh, *please* don't tell. I *really* do try to keep a tidy house, but I'm just not a clean freak. I refuse to make my life miserable worrying about the things that don't get done. There are things I *can* do and things I *can't*. hehehe
I'd say you guys had been peeking in my windows, but they are so dirty I don't think you could.
Since I was diagnosed 3 years ago and I have had 2 surgeries on both of my feet, I got out of my routines and I have let the housework slide right off my radar. Then we moved last year and I just feel completely overwhelmed. Guys, I had to move dirty laundry. And not exactly a small amount either.
I know I'm in trouble, and I know I need help. My kids walked in the living room yesterday while I was trying to do a little picking up and the oldest one asked "who is coming over?" Their rooms are trashed because they have a lousy example in me. I feel like a hypocrite if I tell them to clean their rooms when you can't walk thru mine either.
For today I will tackle my desk. Baby steps, right? I'll probably burn the motor out on my shredder, lol.
If I haven't posted by Monday, someone call the fire dept, ok?
Lol! You are right, baby steps, baby steps, baby steps!
My bed is not made, but it's only because I stripped it to wash everything. I'll get it made before bedtime tonight. ;-) The sink has not been shined, I'm still trying to find it as I get dishes into the dishwasher, etc.
mg, maggiemoo is exactly right...babysteps, babysteps! My desk (and every other horizontal space in my livingroom) is still piled high with stuff, but I feel good knowing I've done a few other things around the house this week that really needed to be done.
maggiemoo, you gave me 2 really great ideas. My DH just got up, so I think I'll go change the sheets on our bed...and my dishwasher is full and needs to be run...as soon as he's out of the shower I'll start it! Thanks!
My explanation for nearly forty years of chaos has been too much to do away from home, too much work to bring home, and no time or energy left. I have just re-retired from teaching and counseling and am decluttering and cleaning my home -- deep cleaning and reorganizing. (Just now DH needed a lubricant pen that used to be in the kitchen junk drawer, which I cleaned out last summer. I checked the container in the garage cabinet that contains lubricants and somewhat confidently told him I did not have it. He checked his desk drawer and found it where he had put it. I get one point!)
I have been making my bed each morning, faithfully loading and unloading the dishwasher, and keeping countertops uncluttered and wiped off. My messy man has even been wiping up after himself without my saying anything. Well, I haven't said much, just a few deep sighs!
I'm certainly not there yet, but right now I could let someone come in the front door and not be embarrassed. The guest would NOT be allowed in my bathroom or closet yet, but the living areas of the house are presentable. I am trying to tackle one small area at a time, maybe just one drawer, and go back over the tidy areas lightly every few days. I have trouble staying focused on one task, and when I jump from one thing to another, I end the day feeling nothing has been accomplished. For years I had to put out what was on fire, and the chaos accumulated.
We American women really do try to be superwomen. We juggle careers, child-rearing, homemaking, often foregoing hobbies and relaxation, and then beat ourselves up over not achieving a high level of success in all areas. My career was good, my grown children are great, my house is coming along, and my garden is a mess.
I loved reading Erma Bombeck and will never forget one piece of advice she gave about housekeeping. She said if someone rang the doorbell and the house was a mess, pull the vacuum out into the room before going to the door and tell the guest that you were just getting ready to start. I tried that with my best friend years ago, and she told me that was exactly where she had seen my vacuum sitting two weeks earlier when she came by. I still love her and let her in!
I understand why my grandmother stuffed so much stuff under the bed. And I understand why my mother never did. I hope I can hit a happy medium!
When I was a teenager, my mother said I was a slob - I of course said no way, I just wanted not to clean my room. Years later I had to admit she was right. I am a slob. I keep everything. Clothes are only the most visible and space consuming.
So today I started on the clothes. There's stuff there I haven't worn in six years. I know because i haven't been to the bottom of the closet in that long. Please laugh. ~Blooms
oh yeah, it's a three choice system. Never gonna wear. Might wear. Do wear.
Patricia, good to see you! You are an inspiration Lol, love the vacuum cleaner scam you tried! I may try it some day, but I'll try to get the house at least presentable, first.
Okay, so make the bed, load/unload the dishwasher (and shine the sink), and you are right, keeping the countertops uncluttered and wiped off makes such a difference!
I read somewhere that it takes doing the same thing for 21 days straight to make it a habit. I'm going to see if I can do those things for 21 days, straight. Maybe mark them off on my calendar. It seems like if those things are done, it may not feel so overwhelming to try to do one more thing. And then another, and then another.
And if I can't do all three of those things right off, I'll try just one of them for 21 days straight. Baby steps, baby steps...
OMG, i did the vacuum thing today before reading this! my sis was ocming by, and the biggest tree is still out, so i drug out the vacuum and set it in plain sight!!! made me feel better anyhow... she is here now too, and asked "you are gonna take that tree down, aren't you?" LOL. my knuckles are bleeind again, and i just can't stand the thought of more "handy" work... i had to explain to her that i did good putting up the other six trees, Santa collection, wreaths, etc, and would get around to the BIG tree, as soon as i found some help hauling off the big sofa... anyonw need a BIG sofa?
i started on the entry way a year and a half ago. i thought haven't it prettied up would look nice and more hospitable. well, i got window caulked, the insulation put in, the outside eaves redone, the trim painted, the door painted, the wood around the roof apinted [what am i forgetting?] the wall sealing/painting about a third done before it got too cold. next thing you know, i decide it is a perfect place for hanging lights and shelves to start plants. weel, i am not starting plants this year, the shelves collected gardening junk, and now i have a sheet over the mess. good thing too, we had carolers this year, and they wouldn't all fit in the entryway LOL
so i guess this year i can get back to work on the entry way, since i won't be gardening much...
Okay, the dishes have been washed and unloaded from the dishwasher. The countertops are clutter-free and wiped down (except for the hold-out, "junk" counter, I'll tackle that tomorrow) and the sink has been shined. I am now about to crawl in bed. Oops! Haven't put the clean sheets on yet, so I guess I'll make the bed before I get in, lol.
And tomorrow I'll do the same thing... I hope.
:-)
I'm moving back to NY from Dublin this Spring. My old house is a bit of a disaster (better-natured half has been a bachelor for 2 years while I've lived abroad) - I like the counter-top philosophy but am going to start from the other end - nothing on the floor except rugs and furniture...he has DVD's stacked, plastic crates, you name it!
Has anyone else succeeded with "nothing on the floor?" If so, how do you do it? I'm thinking that if we can accomplish this, it will be easier to sweep or vacuum, etc. Otherwise, it feels chaotic and hopeless.
I'm hoping if I can master the floor, then the counter will be easy.
maggiemoo, after all the effort you've put in, just open the drawer under the cluttered counter and sweep all the stuff into it or into a box if the drawer is too packed with clutter. We should all be allowed one cluttered drawer or box in the kitchen.
Patricia, I am a full time teacher, plus an adjunct instructor two evenings a week, so I understand that too much to do and no time or energy left problem. My paperwork is compounded by the fact of being a composition teacher. (When any of my students ask me about being a teacher, I tell them teach anything but English.) Sometimes when I fall behind, I have to resist an urge to start a bonfire in the yard and put all my compositions into it.
All the floor clutter is in the third bedroom. I know it can't stay there.
What's it like living in Dublin?
Oh, I LIKE the nothing on the floor idea! You're right, it's much easier to sweep or vacuum when the floor is clear. It might even make me want to sweep or vaccum... well, let's not get carried away, lol.
It was so nice to wake up today to clear counters, so I'll now work to extend that to the floor. It won't happen right away though - baby steps! fireant, that's a great idea to clear the clutter-counter. I do allow myself one clutter drawer, and it is packed. The good thing about moving everything into a box is that I can take it to another room to sit down and go through it, while already enjoying the clear counter!
I've been working on my laundry since yesterday, and making headway. I can see my bedroom floor now, and once I have tossed some empty shoeboxes and put up some other stuff, the floor will be clear! The dresser and bedside table may take longer to clear. I have to be able to keep up the little changes I've made, but I'm commited to not adding anything more to those surfaces.
You guys have been so helpful and encouraging, thank you! I feel like really good changes are in the air, and it's invigorating!
Very motivating - honestly, I just made up the idea of "nothing on the floor" because of my frustration when I visited NY and there were dust bunnies on the floor and I had to pick up stacks of DVD's to get things swept and mopped (hardwood floors). Doug lives the bachelor life and I fly home a few times a year to do deep cleaning. *sigh* - and I am NOT a clean freak, but am embarrassed to have friends over the way it is. That said, a true friend is one you'll let in the door even when it's messy.
Sooooooooooooooooo, it's an experiment/theory/idea, I'll keep everyone posted when I move back this Spring.
fireant - Dublin is OK, just another city. Given my choice, I think I'd rather be in London, Prague or Barcelona, but silly me, I picked Dublin when I had a choice between Dublin or London. I'd compare it to a small city like Boston - it's only about a million people, but terribly expensive. My nice-sized 2-2 flat in a good part of the city would easily be a million euros (believe me, rent's not THAT bad) but purchase prices are INSANE. There is so much money here, almost hard to imagine. My house in NY, only about 135K when I bought it, living in a place worth almost ten times as much with less space and amentities...oh well, glad the company is paying for it.
What a great thread! I already had enough trouble keeping my place in order (didn't succeed, by the way), and then my boyfriend moved in with me, and he has TONS of stuff...oy. I've started building floor to ceilings shelves everywhere...(I'd rather build something than clean!), but the house is still a disaster. So, I finally gave in, and even though I can't afford it, I have a housecleaner come twice a month. I kind of look at it as paying for my sins! Now I have to give her money that I would otherwise spend on my garden or something else equally enjoyable (which means I'm starting plants from seed this season instead of buying plants!). And she has to clean AROUND the junk. But, at least I now have a CLEAN junky house, with stuff on the floor and everywhere. And, once the house is clean, I actually do make a little more of an effort to keep it that way. So, it's a start.
Speaking of Dublin, they just moved Francis Bacon's art studio there. Intact. This pic is of his studio. Quote from Bacon: "I feel at home here in this chaos because chaos suggests images to me. And in any case I just love living in chaos." I envy those who can feel content in their chaos. I'm trying to find a happy medium.
I don't keep things on the floor, but the DH's office is a nightmare. I enter that room at my own risk. They say opposites attract. Well, that trait in him certainly doesn't attract me. Now counters are a different story. There's one in the kitchen that no matter how hard I try ... it stays a mess. It's where all the junk stuff goes. potato chips, carb bars, almonds, and all my nifty little appliances. Ugg! I can not keep it cleaned off.
You guys crack me up!! Especially the vacuum in the middle of the floor. Except in my case, I'd have to FIND the vacuum underneath all the clutter. hahaha jk My neighbor always comes over on my messiest house days- or maybe it's BECAUSE she came over that I realize the house has gotten so bad.
I was recently in the hospital for 2 weeks and my husband made trips home to feed the pets, etc. But he's a real slob. When I got out, it still hurt just to walk and I didn't bother cleaning up a thing. My DMIL came over and asked if she could clean my house!!! HOW EMBARRASSING!!!!
One of the keys to taming chaos for me has been ... throwing things out. You know, I used to hold on to old high school papers (I'm 39, that social studies paper that got an A was a triumph. 11 years ago.) The thing is, I never looked at them. Never used them. The Joe Graham presidential library isn't going to be built any time soon.
Some things you hold on to for a real reason, receipts, etc. for seven years for tax purposes. Other than that, if I haven't used it, thought about it, or missed it for six months, it's a goner the next time I see it. This includes clothes, tchotchkes in boxes, anything. As I have seen on "Clean Sweep", TLC, and "Life Laundry", BBC, the items are not the memories, and vice versa. If it's something new that I meant to do, and never got around to, I ask myself why I never got around to doing it, if anything has changed that would allow me to use this thing today, and if not, it goes in the next family garage sale.
I let go of some sentimentality, and let go of a *lot* of useless clutter.
My house is orderly, if not perfectly clean. I do stuff like blinds and curtains on a seasonal basis, 2 to 4 times a year. I do walls when I think of them. I do floors, sweep and mop, more regularly. I do some tasks as needed. The dishwasher is used regularly.
I don't tolerate sugar, creamer, or coffee rings on my tables, which is what the dishcloth in the sink is good for.
For me, the outer chaos was also an expression of inner chaos. As I learned to relax and to structure my life to reduce negative stress, I found myself with more time, and more desire to maintain my living space.
Things changed for the better.
They can change for you too. :)
Peace,
Joe G.
P.S. Sorry for the rambling nature of this. It's pretty stream-of-consciousness, because I have to send this and run out the door to pick someone up, but hopefully you get the idea. :)
Yes, Joe, thanks for your stream of consciousness. The outer/inner thing is something we haven't talked about yet, and I really know it's the truth!
By the way, made my bed today, and the counters in the kitchen have reamained clean. Tomorrow's the real test, I go back to work. I am not a morning person, and wait until the very last possible second to get up in the morning. But the counters will already be clean and the sink shined from the night before, and it doesn't take very long to make the bed. (Just keep telling myself, lol.)
My big thing is the dining room table. It seems to attract bits of everything... mail, papers, things that should be put elsewhere but don't take the time to do it till it all piles up. Every time I clear it off, I swear it'll stay that way, but it starts right over again.
I suppose if we ate there instead of the kitchen It wouldn't be a problem.
I don't clean nearly as much as I did before DH retired. I'm an early riser and have always done most of my cleaning by noon, but somehow with him home I just can't get " in the groove"
Also, I love to move the furniture around, so what may have been a cleaning day sometimes gets pushed off for moving. At least when I do that, the whole room gets a good vacuuming.
sbarr, just take your time, and take little steps. I went through a room at a time, sometimes a wall at a time, or a surface at a time, with a trashbag, and a good trusted friend to help me decide about the hard things. :)
Also, during multiple moves I worked on simplifying each time before I repacked and unpacked. Each time I moved less non-essential stuff.
Maggie, don't try to cram in too much stuff all at once. If you spend a week working on one area, take a day on the weekend as a reward. Don't try to do everything all at once -- it's too intimidating.
I once had a friend who told me "sort your problems like mail." He was referring to the internal chaos, but I found it also applied to my external chaos. What he was referring to are the mail boxes found behind some old hotel desks. A pile of letters is nothing but an unorganized, chaotic, intimidating jungle. On the other hand, going through the pile letter by letter and putting each in its appropriate box completely eliminates the pile. What's left are individual, sorted, organized boxes that are more manageable.
Once you have broken a task down into smaller steps (it takes practice, try writing out the steps at first -- it helps), make yourself do the steps you can do *that day*, and don't try to overdo it, or place unreasonable expectations on yourself (instead of just doing the dishes today when I get home from work, as part of the kitchen cleanup effort I am going to also pick up the clutter on the floor around the walls, sweep, and mop, as I am managing the kids' homework and bath times, and making dinner ...) Do dishes one day, pick up the floor another day, wipe down everything on the third day, sweep and mop on the 4th day, on the 5th day celebrate somehow. Buy a new potted plant and put it in the kitchen window you used to be unable to see. Serve dinner that night at your newly-revealed kitchen table. :)
When I finally have the surfaces cleaned up, I deep clean. I start at the top of the room and work my way down, because dirt settles. Dustmop first, wipe down with cleaning solution second, floors last. :)
Be sure as you are cleaning a room you don't sabotage yourself by recluttering it. Certain habits begun now can help keep clutter from re-occuring. Sort your mail as you get it. Throw out junk mail immediately. Put all the bills together in one place. If no one reads a certain magazine, or the newspaper, why are you subscribed to it?
Take out the trash to the trash can when bag gets full -- don't let it overflow. If it's green, if it's fuzzy, if it's mysterious, it doesn't belong in your refrigerator anymore. Don't assume someone else will take their pop can to recycle bin. If you prompt them and they won't do it, take it there yourself, then recycle in a timely fashion and be sure to spend the money you get from turning in your cans on something for *you*. Tell your family about it. They'll get better about picking up their cans. ;) Go through your freezer once or twice a year. That cutlet from 2002 sounded good at the time, but now it's nothing more than beef jerky. It must go away. The same goes for the rocky road ice cream you can't eat now that you're on a diet. If no one else will eat it, it goes too.
If you don't want to waste food, remember that in the future and either don't buy things you do not plan on eating in the next three days, or stick to your diet a bit better, or eat those leftovers instead of letting them sit and develop into new life forms. :)
Again, my house is not spotless. I don't beat myself up over what I don't accomplish (I let go of expectations.) I celebrate what I *do* accomplish. Rather than have a single day set aside for housework, I break it up over the week, and I do certain tasks on a daily basis (sort mail, wipe counter tops, put dishes away, pick up clutter), some on a weekly basis (sweep floors, clean toilet and tub, wash clothes, take out trash, clean cat boxes, water indoor plants), some things on a bi-weekly or monthly basis (mop floors, change bedding, wipe down cupboards, clean mirror and fixtures in bathroom, dust), and some things on a seasonal basis (wash curtains, wipe down walls, wash afghans, etc.)
It all balances out, and if you have kids, you've got built in slave labor, which is a great bonus. :)
If I can get organized, anyone can, and sometimes I still leave dishes sit in the sink until they make noises. Why? Because I used to be in an abusive relationship where I would get yelled at for not doing the dishes, so today I *treat* myself to the occasional period of sloth, knowing I'll do them one of these days. :)
Also, it's OK for my motivation and mood to change on a daily basis, as long as I make sure that when I *do* feel good I do some of my maintenance tasks. :)
About getting the bed made. One thing that motivates me that direction is my little poodle. If I don't get the covers pulled up and the pillows covered, he will gladly plop himself up on my pillow...yuk. Some days I don't "get the bed made" per sey, but I "always" get the covers straight and everything pulled up over the pillows. That is at least a start, and it seems that if the bed is made, the whole room just looks better, even if it's not really.
Joe, thanks for your message, lots of inspiration there! Night before last I was especially tired, went to bed with some dishes stacked waiting to be washed (can't be washed in the dishwasher.) I didn't beat myself up about it, was just glad that other than that, the kitchen looked great.
I have a friend who has kitties who love to sleep on their pillows. She has some special pieces of fleece that she lays on top of the pillows after she's made the bed, the kitties sleep on that and then she just takes it off when she goes to bed at night.
Little by little my other stuff is going out the door, or new stuff just doesn't even come in. We're having some especially stressful days at work right now, so it's nice to come home and have some areas that are orderly. It's easier to relax!
My goal is to have the house orderly enough that I'll be comfortable inviting some friends over for tea in the garden when the weather is nice and things start to bloom... and I won't have to make them walk around the house, lol!
yes, after all, the bed is at least 50% of the room.
i have a kitty, plus dust bunnies LOL
so not only does the bed get made, but i have those HUGE pillows in big fancy shams that go on top of the pillows, since i like the comforter to the floor at the foot, and that doesn't leave enough to go over the pillows.
Okay, as I have read through this thread, I have gotten some good tips. Thought I might share a couple of mine (probably not anything that hasn't been thought of, but just in case).
By the time I get home, fight with the kids, feed the dogs, cook dinner, etc., rarely do the dishes get done after we get finished eating, but I have found that it works just as well to do them in the morning when I first get up. Get them loaded, if the dishwasher isn't full, I leave it and put that day's dishes in their also and if it is full, I go ahead and run it right then. While I am cooking dinner, I try to get it unloaded, so that the next morning, I can start all over again.
Laundry is kind of the same way. I will put a load in when I first get up. By the time I am ready to leave the house, it is done and I can put it in the dryer and put another load in the washer.
I like to think of it as multi-tasking. I have to go to work, but still can get some housework done at the same time. Besides, if I only do one thing at a time, I will never get finished.
As far as clutter, my kids were gone one weekend and I unmercifully cleaned their rooms. I would hate to admit how long it had been since that had happened. If it was broken, paper, etc., it all went in the trash. Other toys we gave away. It has been about a month now and they are still clean. If I go in and something is out of place, I remind them to get it picked up. The big thing that they needed (other than removal of half a ton of "stuff") was storage and shelves. My youngest son had one side of his closet that he doesn't use for clothes, so I went to Target and got some wire cubes and set up in there. We just use plastic boxes to smaller toys in. Cars have a box and action figures have a box, etc. When they start to play with it, they pull the whole box out and when they are done, it is easy to put the whole box away. It doesn't take up floor space in the room, but he still gets the benefit of the storage. I used the same wire cubes in my oldest son's room, but used them in the room and there is a cube for books, one for cars, one for movies, etc. NOW! If I could only get my stuff that organized, I would be doing good.
There's a hall closet that I need to explore one day (it won't be today).
I have been a previous student of flylady and it was very helpful in setting me on my path of getting rid of things. You should know that I moved into my husbands childhood home and his mother never threw anything out, EVER! It was 1996 and I found a 1975 phone book in one of the kitchen drawers... yes, it was that bad! It had taken years for me to go through and through this home and purge and purge.
I had been a fan of garage sales -which flylady is against, and I had put all this stuff into the garage and we never had our sale this past fall. Well the salvation army took what they wanted today and I am going to freecycle or craigslist the rest for free. We haven't parked in the garage all winter and I get perturbed when the doors are left open for the neighborhood to see our never gonna happen yard sale junky can't park in it garage. The way I see it, I am letting this stuff go to bless someone else and giving myself space to allow a blessing in my own life -like parking in the garage and not having to freeze in the mornings!!
I use to leave dishes to pile up and now I make sure there are none in the sink overnight and it feels sooo good to wake up and start the day fresh and not be burdened by yesterdays dishes. Flylady really did help me and my husband sure was glad to see this change in me. I still don't make the beds every day.. I'm in the mists of major household improvements and it really does throw the home into chaos. i do feel positive about it right now though since I know that I am making positive change and am moving toward a good thing.
My rule of thumb when i am deciding to keep or part with am item is to ask, Do I love it? Do I need it? Do I want it? If no, it goes. it's been hard to let things go that were in the home when I got here, but i am finally making this home my own and with my own style. I just finished a book called Positive Energy by Judith Orloff and she says that our homes really need to be our sanctuaries. That is what I want.. my home and garden to be my self created sanctuary. It's taking time, but I'm getting there.
My home *is* my sanctuary, and my garden is becoming an extension of my home out into the world. Right now the bones of the garden still belong to the previous owner, but little by little I am making it mine. :)
The previous owner was fond of chaotic plantings. I am bringing my own sort of order and logic to them, the same way I worked on my home. :)
My inspiration for my home, inside and out, is summarized in the adirondack chair at the very top of this page:
I love the colors, I love the styling. With the addition of lavender/purple, coral/salmon, and mint green, minus the orange, this shall be the feel of my home. :)
This thread has inspiried me to go ahead and post my free things today and get them out of the garage sooner than later :) Lots of paint that salvation army would not take.
I still have to tackle the papers piled on my dresser. I hate sorting through papers.
Other than the papers, I have the rooms looking neat. What I need to do now is go through drawers, cabinets, and closets to declutter and reorganize. I went through all my Christmas things and packed them up in an orderly manner.
All of my daughter's things are either in her room or the spare room. I've removed all my things from there so that she could sort and pack things up without being distracted by my stuff. I still have to tackle the china cabinet, the kitchen cabinets, and the pantry. My pantry is chaos. The garage is okay, but I need some shelves or storage cabinets to put things away.
joegee, here's an Adirondack chair my nephew painted for his dad, using pretty much the same colors as J&P - thought I'd share. thanks for sharing the link to J&P too, it's been so long since I ordered I think I fell off their list.
I did succumb to temptation yesterday at the checkout [they are SO sneaky] and get a Garden Ideas magazine. I flipped thru ;it and at least the pics were new ones so a little later today I'll be sitting in the sunshine reading about front yard landscaping. LOL
All I've done lately is make a dent in the piled up laundry. and continued sorting of clothing. The to go pile went yesterday, but there's another growing there already. yeah for me. ~Blooms
I'm ahead of the chaos. At least the parts of the house I have deep cleaned are still okay. I start making the bed before I get up, pulling up the sheet and comforter on DH's side. Then when I get out, it's an easy finish. Yesterday I had it done before I remembered it was time to strip the bed and wash the sheets.
The kitchen is easy now. I don't mind unloading the dishwasher so much since it is not over full. Today I Swiffered the downstairs, wet mopped a few spots in the kitchen, and used the Dust Buster to pick up tufts of cat hair and stuff the Swiffer did not get. The tile floors look as good as they did a week ago when I spent the entire day vacuuming and running the floor scrubber. The cats must spend the entire night having cat litter wars in the sunroom. It's a big enclosed porch, and I find litter on the far side away from the litter boxes. I may stay up to watch some night!
Now I should choose another area to work on. I'll just sit and think about it for a while. LOL
Great job, Patricia. You sound all pulled together. For your cats, you could get them a box with domed sides. I have one for my cat and it does seem to help keep the litter in the box.
Okay, so I didn't do nearly as well as patrob, but I did organize my spice cabinet and throw out a bunch of stuff and got my grocery shopping done with a food plan for the next two weeks. I know that is not CHAOS, but for me it is a big deal since I HATE to cook and it is a lot less stressful for me, if I have it all planned out in advance. I am really trying to get organized in all areas of my life. Get my house in order, get my health in order, everything. Not all at once, but I try to do a little in each area every day. Whatever I accomplish, I feel good about.
Yes, alphabetizing is a good system for a lot of things. It's handy for CD's canned goods in the cabinet and many other things. I'm sure you think that sounds crazy, but when things are alphabetized ... when you are familiar with the items you can reach for them almost without thinking. :)
I spent the day getting organized yesterday and it feels good to walk into those areas.. More today. :) I really need to get my home to comfortable place before I get into seed sttarting mode.. at least I really want to.
Everyone's doing so great, and so many great ideas. I love your "inspiration piece", Joe! The description is what I want for both my home & garden - color, comfort, and fun.
The last several days at work have been pretty bad, really intense pressure and stressful. It was sooo nice to come home to a clean kitchen and to be able to climb into a made-up bed at night! And since I've been maintaining those things, I find myself just picking up after myself more, not adding to piles, etc, which has resulted in the living/dining area slowly getting more picked up. I've even picked up a few piles of papers and dealt with them!
I made a to-do list for the weekend, intending to get the biggest things done for sure, but won't beat myself up if a few of the items aren't finished by Monday. So far, so good. Vacuuming is next, but I'll have to get the floors uncluttered.
We had some brief periods of sunshine today, and wandering around the garden, I was thinking how nice it will be to have that garden party this Spring. I really know it will happen, and you're all invited! (And yes, I really mean that.)
Oh, yeah, I also have a couple of green plastic Adirondack chairs, I think they'll be fun to paint!
That chair is priceless. :) Many a good book could be read in the comfort of that chair, sitting out in your garden under a shade tree sipping fresh lemonade. :)))
OOOOh, and what about some of that yummy sweet iced tea from way down south with some of Critters spearmint leaves in it. Ooooh, so relaxing!
... Elaine
Oh YAH! :) I spent some time working down in South Carolina last year. I am convinced that no one has the art of genteel relaxation down better than those of you way down south. I spent so many evenings sitting out on jasmine-scented restaurant terraces enjoying fantastic meals and extraordinary company. :)
Love that chair!
This is a photo of some chairs outside a little restaurant called the Oasis. I've always thought these look so bright and cheerful.
I am the brown haired gal and the blonde is my sister.
The nephew painted a pair of these chairs - wish I had a picture of the other. They are the 'real thing', Adirondack chairs made just down the road in the Adirondacks. LOL
The arms have that exta wideness that holds whatever yu want to put on em. The paint job was a present on chairs that had been around for a while.
My Garden runs to pinks and purples, with the occasional slap of red. which reminds me... the older sections of my gardens ressemble the house, the bones are good but they're a bit over-run with enthusiastic, easy care types. And my red flowered greggi sage 'Autumn Red??' was reduce to only two branches by the encroaching Lavender Cotton / Santolina.
Rambling, but it only just now occurred to me that house and garden are suffering from the same disease. CHAOS
Welp, take care of the house right now, the garden in the spring. First things first. :)
Starzz, that picture reminds me of a lovely little alleyway in Aiken, South Carolina. If there were jasmine vines and small magnolia trees planted every ten feet or so amongst the cobbles, it would be exactly like that lovely little alley. :)
Isn't it wonderful to be able to go somewhere and sit outside enjoying a drink or a meal? I WANT SUMMER BACK, YESTERDAY.
Off topic, I was given an earth box a few days ago that I am thinking of turning into a jasmine and gardenia garden. :)
Down here, our summer is your winter. I mow the lawn once per week, sometimes twice, and take care of the plants, but I stay away from strenuous garden projects because the heat is too instense. I started my pond last August, but had to quit until October. We are getting into our best weather now.
oooooooooooo...im not alone! great posts, thanks for all the honesty. told my buddy today i was at a point id rather sell the house than clean it. guess i'll shoot for cleaning...again. excellent! yea! wattago kiddos!
Just found this thread; so I'll return to the original question.
I have much less CHAOS than in the early days of my marriage. I've come to regard housework as a bit useless. I'll do the basics and when I feel like it I'll do a good job. Granted, certain company helps, but I can whip through 3 bathrooms and make them presentable in 15 minutes. And if someone's gonna look for dirt, let there be a bit for them to find and make their day. LOL
Hello, my name is Maggiemoo, and I have now kept a neat kitchen and made-up bed for 10 days. I hope to get a one-month pin in another 20 days. :-)
It's so nice, the unclutter is spreading, slowly but surely. The house is not spic and span - it never will be, I like a home to live in, not a laboratory, lol - but I would not be embarrassed if someone dropped by unexpectedly right now. It would only take a minute to straighten a few things in the "public" room, and they would be able to see that I at least care about my surroundings.
Ann, I'm with you. "Let them find dirt!" (A little, that is.)
:-)
My living room is my neatest room. I keep all clutter out of there, and there's no place to stash stuff. In the dining room, I have to tackle the china cabinet drawers and shelves, but the display part is neat. The kitchen also appears neat, but the drawers and pantry need reorganizing. I've lived here for ten years and have been shuffling stuff around in them and adding things, so now I need to pull everything out and reevaluate its use. I regularly clean the cabinets with dishes, glassware, and utentsils, but the others tend to get neglected. I need to rearrange things that they are more accessible to the work area. It's easier to keep the main bathroom clean since my daughter is at college, but the toilet is not working properly, so I had to shut it off. Now I've got to get someone to look at that.
I'm still on track with keeping the part of the house I have decluttered and cleaned in good condition. I just have not made myself really tackle a new area. I did start in our bath yesterday by vacuuming and washing rugs. Today, though, the sun is shining, it's going to be warm enough to be outside, and it's time to plant peas! There's a good chance of rain later in the week, so I'll save the bath for then.
I do plan to rake up some of my dog's treasures that are covering the back yard (bits of chewed up water hose and black plastic pipe stolen from the drip irrigation for the fruit trees, chunks of insulation that used to be inside faucet covers, shreads of stuffing from the squeaky toy my sister gave her). Sara will be disappointed to lose her things, but the yard is a depressing sight right now.
You certainly aren't a freak of nature! You're the norm!! I have worried for years that I might be killed in an accident, and people would come into my home and wonder how I could have lived in a mess like this. I now have an orderly downstairs (DO NOT LOOK IN MY CLOSET!) and plan to move to the upstairs soon. Very soon. LOL
Make the bed every morning as soon as you get out and keep up with the dishes. The rest will follow. If it doesn't one day, that's why God created another day.
Welcome to the group, Haleysaunt, I really think there are more of us Chaos types than Neat freaks. giggling here. I have fallen astray. Dishes piled in the sink and on the counter and bed unmade. I will do better tomorrow and at very least will get those things accomplished.
Haven't even done anything interesting in its place either so I've nothing to chat about. Just welcome to the newbie. ;-) ~Blooms
A friend of mine called today and asked if she and some of my other friends could bring dinner into us tonight (I had some minor surgery earlier this week, and it kind of took the wind out of my sails.) While my living room still looks like we just moved in (didn't get everything back into the attic before surgery), I was very happy that 15-20 minutes of straightening made my den and kitchen look presentable enough for me to not cringe when these women walked in.
IMHO< making the bed and keeping up with the dishes is a BIG part of being able to get the house in decent shape at a moment's notice. And yes, something about a made bed leads to a neat(er) bedroom and closet, and the organizaton starts to creep out into other parts of my life.
Ditto with a clean, dish-free sink = clean(er) counters = a tidier, more organized kitchen, and even begins to work on adjacent areas of my house.
Welcome, haleysaunt! I'm glad you found us, because we all need the encouragement of others.
Terry, sorry to hear about your surgery, hope you'll be feeling 100% soon. I too got to experience the joy of someone calling to say they were coming over, and it only took a couple of minutes to straighten up. She's a good friend form down the street, and she was shocked to see my "public" rooms, lol. The sheer pleasure of being able to have someone inside the house without feeling ashamed was so magical. I try to keep remembering what that felt like, as I continue to work on everything.
Still need to finish my bedroom, then get to the computer room, and finally the "project" room. But for now, simply maintaining what's clean now is a giant step.
:-)
Maintaining is a giant step I am looking forward to...not there yet, but I did get active before work today and made some progress.
I lived in Shepherd Texas for a year, and I have been to Conroe many times. Nice to chat with someone from that part of the world. My sister still lives in Shepherd, also nephews, nieces, great nieces, etc... I love Texas, going for a visit in two weeks, and I can hardly wait!
I feel hopefull about the house, I am not giving up. :-)
We have a DG member - HeyCharlie - who lives in Shepherd. He and his wife have a produce stand on Hwy 59. Are you going to Shepherd when you come to visit? You'll have to look up Charlie, and maybe you could stop by here, too. (At least my public rooms should be presentable. :-) )
We've had some bad family news this week. I find myself either pacing, or sitting and doing absolutely nothing when I get home. I've let a few things slide for a couple of days, but at least I know now that it won't take long to clear up. Tomorrow is my short day at work, so I'm going to make a point of cleaning up what's been "sliding". I'll feel much better starting the weekend with a tidy home.
I am sorry to hear about your bad news, maggiemoo. Hope things get better soon. I can relate to the feeling incapable of movement, when overwhelmed, I do the same.
Yes, I am going to Sheperd, to stay with my sister, but part of the week we are driving together to see my Grannie in Arkansas. I have probably bought produce from Charlie, when I lived in Shepherd. ( Hi, Charlie )
Thanks so much for the invite, it is very kind of you, but I am already trying to cram so much into 1 week, I don't think Conroe is going to be on the schedule this trip. :-(
Hang in there, and stay in contact with friends for support!
Don't put too much pressure on yourself when you're under stress like this. One of the points of having an organized home is it can slide for a few days without slipping back into total chaos. You'll get to it when you get to it -- family emergencies are reminders that there are some things more important than keeping a spotless house.
We went through our drug cabinet today and got one full drawer and one huge shelf and part of anohter one organized. we pitched a BIG garbage bag of expired things. Hurrah!
Then I got inspired so we took down the shower curtain and washed it with the floor mats and the seat cover and little rug to step out on and those are all clean and smelling like Downy...
I used the clorox ready-mop to clean the floor too so it's on its way to looking pretty great, at least for our messy house.
It felt good to get thos mats cleaned and put back down. The cats all wanted a turn at sitting on the "new" mats. Too funny.
Good for you, Janie. :) Do it, but don't over-do it. Pace yourself so you don't wear yourself out, and give yourself enough time each day to do minor pickup in the areas you've already cleaned. Things will get better. :)
Made a major step today, well, this past week I guess. I quit smiking last Saturday AM, so I have been nuts trying to keep busy. Well, my girls had friends invited over Saturday so I knew that at least the living room and dining room had to be "presentable". I worked on it a bit at a time every evening, and by 1 PM Saturday, I was sitting down, organizing the things the kids would be using (we had a Valentine's Day Box decorating party LOL) andf when they left, clean up was simple.
Today, I tackled the 2 computer desks in the dining room. I was pretty ruthless. I went so far as to dump the crayons and throw away all the broken ones and ones missing lables. Understand that the kids have a shoe box full of crayons, it made a big difference but we stiff have enough for a couple years LOL.
I completely cleaned off my desk, and wiped it down (wanted all the cigarette ashes off of it) and then re-organized it and threw so much stuff away. In all between the 2 desks, I had 3 13 gallons garbage bags of stuff to throw out!!!! That is unreal.
I got a phone call from my landlord today, she is coming down in 2 weeks so I'm glad I got this started. Now if I can just get the kids to put their stuff away.
I'll keep you posted!
Hugs,
Janis
I have been quit smoking for 1 Week, 1 Day, 13 hours and 55 minutes (8 days). I have saved $42.21 by not smoking 257 cigarettes. I have saved 21 hours and 25 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 1/28/2006 4:00 AM
Janis,
You go girl as a former smoker I understand the challenge and am really proud of you. I quit smoking 17 years ago and still consider it my biggest achievement. Like most things in life each one of us can experience the same activity a little differently. For me the challenge of quitting came in waves of three's. The first three days being the most difficult I wasn't even able to handle all of the extra oxygen my body was getting and felt dizzy most of the time. The third week was a cross road I could have chosen at that point to go backwards and pick up the cigarette the monkey on my back was urging me to take. The third month I now had to remove the safety nets I had put in place as protection. I needed to have a cup of tea or glass of wine without their favorite companion. I also needed to work my way back into society by sitting around other smokers without wanting to mug them for their pack of smokes. Trust me Janis if I could do it you can too. Katy
GO JANIS!
Quitting smoking was one of the best things I've ever done. I love not smelling like smoke. I love not having to worry about dumping stinky nasty dirty ash trays all the time. I love not harming others.
I'm very proud of you!!!
Reward yourself with some febreeze on things -
it makes such a big difference to get that smoke smell out of the house.
I quit almost nine years ago. Everyone else has given you great advice. The hardest thing for me to learn was that first cigarette is the one that gets you re-hooked, so don't smoke that first cigarette, even if you're tempted. Keep yourself busy!
I did the same thing you are doing, cleaned all traces of cigarettes out of my home. It did two things, made my home smell better, and made me realize that the goop I was washing off of my walls was also going into my lungs. Ick.
Although today I allow smoking in certain places in my home (I had to quit smoking for health reasons, I didn't *want* to, and I still like the smell of fresh smoke, plus I always vowed when I was smoking that if I ever did manage to quit I wasn't going to be one of those militant anti-smokers. I tell people I have to get my nicotine somehow. If needs be, I'll get it vicariously.) I no longer crave cigarettes.
Every time I see a new tax on ciggies, I give myself a mental pat on the back for all the money I have saved, plus, I would have been dead by now, so I have that too. :)
The solution I made for wall-cleaning was one part vinegar, two parts ammonia, and nine parts water. Worked beautifully, and it was amazing how much crud I had on my walls.
Again, good for you!!! I'd add to the advice, drink LOTS of fluids, water especially, to flush the remaining nicotine out of your system, and when I craved, I would do deep breathing, on purpose, to get that O2 head rush, which seemed to take care of my nicotine craving. There are also extraordinarily tasty sugar-free hard candies you could keep around to suck on when you wanna suck on a ciggie. I look for candies made with isomalt, or low-carb candies, just don't eat half a pound of them at a time. You might find yourself making sudden trips to the bathroom (isomalt in quantity has a mild laxative effect.)
Joe, gonna try that wall cleaning recipe... sounds like just the thing I need. Dh still smokes, and I'm not gonna turn the house no smoking, cause almost everyone in my family smokes, but I am gonna be alot pickier about ashtrays and stuff. Yuck.
Made DH go wash his face and beard and brush his teeth last night... couldn't even kiss him :( I can't believe I smelled like that for so long.
I am just taking it one day at a time, and even 5 minutes at a time if I have to. Chewing lots of gum, and doing lots of Sudoku puzzles :)
Well, have a dr appt today, but will post progress in the LR and kitchen later. :)
Hugs to all
Janis
I have been quit for 1 Week, 2 Days, 6 hours and 34 minutes (9 days). I have saved $45.62 by not smoking 278 cigarettes. I have saved 23 hours and 10 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 1/28/2006 4:00 AM
I still haven't tackled the papers on my dresser, but I did dive into the kitchen cabinets and pantry and got those organized. I did one at a time, taking everything out. Most things went back to their original spot, but I did do a lot of reorganizing. I threw out broken items and put things I no longer want in a give away box. The pantry has the most dramatic change. It's nice to have it all cleaned, sorted, arranged, and decluttered.
I don't smoke, but I like the wall cleaning recipe.
Woofens, I forgot to mention: test a small, inconspicuous area of each wall before you go applying this liberally. It works beautifully, but I only used it on painted walls. I am not certain how wallpaper or panelling might respond.
Joe,
No problem. We have all painted walls except the kitchen which is paneling and wallpaper (also scheduled to be remodeled soon). The only problem I can think of is that the paint is really cheap stuff they got just to make it look good to sell. I'll check it first, if worse comes to worst, I'll have to repaint (which is what I figured I'd have to do anyway).
The good news is, DH told me tonight if I wait til he is off this weekend, he will help me :)
Janis, you probably know this, but when you start to wash your walls, start from the bottom and work your way up. That way you avoid streaks. I learned this the hard way. ;)
Oh my...yes I have CHAOS! Back in August DH and I decided to close our business. At that time our home had turned into the biggest mess. I don't think we threw anything away for the past 7 or 8 years. It just seemed like there wasn't enough time to go through everything and take care of things, so it all got stuffed into a box or cabinet. Yikes!!! Now I'm paying for it.
I'm really liking this forum and love this thread. I feel so much better now that I've read it. LOL My Grandmother was a pack-rat (but she kept everything neat and orderly) and my Mom is a HUGE pack-rat! And I'm heading down the same road as them...and I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT!
Baby steps...I like that and I will continue to remember those words. When I look around and see all the jobs that need done they look so overwhelming that I just think...oh, I'll tackle that tomorrow or next week. LOL But I don't! This forum is giving me hope! Thanks for all the inspiration everyone! Keep posting...LOL...this feels like a big support group to me!
I was just re-reading this thread. Regarding leaving clothes in the dryer while you go out and do your running: DON'T!!!
In 1995 I put some pillows in the dryer to fluff while I ran a quick errand. Thankfully, the errand was very quick, because by the time I got back the laundry room was engulfed in flames. I got smoke inhalation trying to save my cats (who were all smarter than me -- they just hid under furniture.) Everything in the house was covered with thick black soot.
Talk about chaos. %)
Anyways, the belt that turned the dryer barrel broke, and the pillows laid on the bottom of the barrel next to the heating element and caught on fire. Later on I found out that dryer fires are a relatively common occurance.
Today I never, ever leave the house with the dryer or the coffee pot running.
I hope you read this. Everyone, please think twice before you leave any heated electrical appliance running unattended, and always, always make sure you clean out the lint trap on your dryer.
I just returned home yesterday from NM, my FIL died last week. Coming home after leaving so quickly, and after an emotionally exhausting time, it was comforting to come home to a tidy "nest." I agree with Brinda, this is like a huge support group. Thanks to all who encouraged and supported me as I have begun this journey out of chaos. It isn't done yet, still lots of baby steps to go, but I can't go back where I was before.
I read that we should be washing our lint filters in our dryers with detergent and rinsing carefully - fabric softener gets gooed up in the mesh of the filter and causes it to become almost a solid mass instead of a mesh -
washing it removes the residue and makes it much more efficient.
Also read we should be cleaning out that exhaust pipe regularly.
Oh, dear, oh, dear. I just found out I live less than a mile from a lady I met on another forum. I have been working on the mess, but have a bit to go.
Thanks for your well-wishes, another way this group has been a great support.
LulaLu, that's neat that you have a DG friend so close by. Even if you have a ways to go, just remember to take baby steps, don't get overwhelmed. Now you have another goal to work towards, as well. I think I mentioned before that my goal is to be able to have friends over to enjoy my garden this Spring. It looks like it will really happen. My home (and my garden) may not be perfect when they come, but they will be comfortable - both for my guests and for myself.
Can I join? Like Alcoholics Anon, "My name is Dom, and I have CHAOS! "
Seriously, I have reached a point that I might be able to gain a bit, although I am married to the world's biggest packrat. I am not willing to get rid of him, but the clutter he comes with!
We moved a couple of months ago, into a house provided by our employer, and started the job at the same time, so all we moved were the bare basics, kitchen, bed, living room furniture. I don't even have a dresser here. But the part time job has turned into a 24/7 job for us both, and we have had absolutely no time to move. Plus, we have learned the owner of this place is an absolute jerk, so we made a pact not to move more in here than we can move out in a day, so we can quit anytime we want. I have no dresser, no hanging clothes, none of my books, not even all the stuff out of the bathroom. I absolutely love it and better yet, so does the packrat! So now, when we go back to the old house to start to finish to move (I know that doesn't sound right, but it's true) we are going to look differently at all the junk. We really DONT need it all! So, we are sitting at night making lists of things at the old house, bring here, donate, storage, and trash. Since the Bring here list must be kept short, and the Storage list means we will have to pay storage on stuff, I'm pleased to say the Donate and trash lists are getting long.
Cross your fingers for me.
Anyone know the trick to making kids actually take their stuff with them when they move out?
Anyone know the trick to making kids actually take their stuff with them when they move out?
Be sure you notify me if you ever find out, lol! I finally have almost all of my son's stuff out of the garage, but the closet in his old room (it's now called the "project room") is still packed with his stuff. Oh well, I guess baby steps apply there, too. That's how his stuff got out of the garage.
I have a feeling there will always be something of his here. Perhaps it will help me to keep from missing him so much, and he will always feel this is home.
I'm considering inviting them for dinner, and while they are eating, I'll sneak out and stuff their cars full. Some of those old sneakers ought to make for a lovely drive home in cold weather.
Hope you don't mind if I pipe in on this conversation as it has been a struggle for me too. I finally took a hard stand with both my grown children about 'their' stuff. It was about the same time I came to the conclusion that clutter was ruining my outlook on life and I wanted to change it. I couldn't force myself to dispose of my children's keepsakes... my son's old scouts, soccer, football, and baseball keepsakes, and my daughters cheerleading stuff... but mostly her dolls, old books and toys. So, I didn't. I packed them up and I took them to THEIR house. I didn't ask them to take them home because I had tried that before and it didn't work. They always said they would go through them but it didn't happen. So, I loaded my car and delivered the neatly packed and labeled boxes myself. I told them that I had saved those treasures for 25 years... while they were in college & the Navy. I said that hopefully they were sentimental enough to want them at that point, but if they didn't... and they wanted to throw everything out, just not to tell me about it and I have been strong enough to never ask. What I DID NOT give them was the things I personally wanted to keep like their baby books, early art work, and pictures. Those are 'my' things and they can dispose of them when I'm 6' under.
When I started to get rid of my clutter, it started with 'clean dishes and made up beds'. It worked for me. I get up now and make my bed before I ever leave the bedroom. My dishes are washed as I use them, even if it's just one pot. What I still struggle with is paper. I seem to get huge amounts of paper... junk mail and newspapers, magazines, notes, just STUFF...over night. I try to keep it under control, but it's been the hardest thing to deal with.
Solitaire, your story really struck home with me. I think I married the 'twin packrat' because my husband is really addicted to 'things'. It almost cost us a marriage in the early years. What I have done with mine (because we can't change them..) is to put his 'junk' in
