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My gardening friend, Susan, said it only took her seven years to get rid of her lawn altogether, filling it instead with scrumptious daylilies, irises, and morning glories. On a garden tour last year, one of the hosts said it only took her seven years to amass the luxurious garden that once was a mere yard. I want a garden with no lawn. I itch for one. I’m willing to work at it for seven years. But only seven.
Now the trouble is that Susan and the garden tour host began with relatively small lots. We have three, and we began with not so much as a tree.
I read about lasagna gardening, and about Ruth Stout's method, but Handsome Man was leery regarding our compacted construction clay. The Seven Year Plan includes planning two beds, tilling the hard clay, adding compost, tilling again, laying wet newspaper down, and mulching the whole thing. I call it “Half-Baked Lasagna,” because it includes a layering of newspapers. From there all similarity ceases. With two new beds a year, seven years will go fast. There are undoubtedly better methods, including those already mentioned, but this is ours.
In Year One, last year, compost was easy since Handsome Man worked at a farm then. We have a pickup, and mulch was cheap last year. But then there was the tiller. Some poor little woebegone tiller borrowed from the brother-in-law, who borrowed it from an uncle, was the first lost victim of the Seven Year Plan. It wouldn’t run, then it wouldn’t move the clay, then it wouldn’t run again. Handsome Man hurled it across the yard while yelling something about a varnishing piece of mechanical wizardry. Varnishing? Handsome Man has a PhD in Creative Cursing, which is handy when tilling up a new bed. By the way, when it was safe, I learned that “varnish” refers to when an engine gums up. One year later, the weeds were nonexistent, and the bed had some initial plantings.
This year, Year Two, we knew what we were in for and prepared in advance. My sister and I pulled all the slick sheets out of the newspaper before ever leaving the recycling center. Last year’s use of slick paper netted many unwanted toadstools in the flower bed. One hundred bags of mulch lay piled in the driveway in anticipation. Handsome Man bought a new pickup with which to haul the rented tiller. Bagged compost, purchased on sale in July and totaling only $20, meant no more shoveling doo-doo out of the back of the pickup. New pickups aren’t meant for that sort of degradation anyway.
Labor Day is for labor when you are on the Seven-Year-Plan. I painted the outline of the beds with orange parking lot paint in the morning. The shape of the bigger bed looked odd from the street, so it was enlarged toward the east. Then it was beefed up southward and again eastward. It became large. Very large. Handsome Man kept saying something about not mowing as much. I tried to mentally fill the space with dainty dianthus and frilly delphinium, but had to resort to envisioning mighty hibiscus clumps and daunting masses of 15-foot pampas grass. The first step in the Seven-Year-Plan, planning the bed, was abandoned of necessity.
Tilling went well from my sitting-on-the-mulch-pile perspective. At times Handsome Man commanded the tiller like a pro. At other times, the tiller pulled him around as though it were in charge. At lunchtime, Handsome Man’s teeth still chattered from the tiller vibration of the morning.
The bags of compost had gotten wet and sticky in their two months behind the house, but we carried them to the new beds forty pounds at a time. The good news is that tilling is always easier the second time through. Stinkier maybe, but definitely less labor intensive.
Newspapering was another story. Do not attempt to lay newspaper down on a windy day. That note bears repeating. Do not attempt to lay newspaper down on a windy day. You can’t water it down quickly enough if it’s windy outside. Trust me on that one. Newspapers ended up in the city park. Honestly, it couldn’t be helped. Do not attempt to lay newspaper down on a windy day.
Mulching was relatively painless. Bags of mulch don’t weigh what bags of compost do, and by then we were inspired by the vision of Year Two’s project end.
The result? The Year Two Plan was for two beds totaling 884 square feet. We now have over 1300 square feet of newly tilled, composted, newspapered, mulched earth awaiting spring planting. With over 17,000 square feet left, perhaps a Fourteen Year Plan is in order. But I have a Seven Year Itch.
About Lori Geistlinger
Lori and her husband, Handsome Man, garden in the heart of Tornado Alley in the Midwest. She likes perennials, because if they don't come back, chances are she forgot she planted them and doesn't realize she killed them. Don't take her too seriously.
Posted by GardeningGramma (from Elma, WA) on October 29, 2007 at 12:23 PM:
I truly enjoyed your article on gardening. Although I live in a trailer park, (something we are trying our best to change) I dug out all the sod that was in small tight places, so my son would not have to mow so much. He does not manage well in tight spots. My neighbor and I have taken over more yard that was was originally allotted us, and we have had fun. We have employed some of your methods of mulching, namely the newspaper. But I shred it up (confetti style) and spread it down in the fall, so as to discourage the weeds from growing so much over the winter. And yes, here in the NW the weeds to grow all winter! Then, in the spring the newspaper serves as a soil conditioner when it is 'dug in'. My neighbor has laughed at me when I go digging up another spot, and swears I will have the whole yard dug up soon. But she and I both enjoy planting more plants and flowers and bushes. We have recently started a small chocolate flower spot. This is proving interesting as well as fun.
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Subject: Good Humor!
Posted by 1mary2 (from Chesterfield, MO) on October 29, 2007 at 12:03 PM:
I enjoy reading your articles. I look forward to your next installment.
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Subject: Growing near the Red River
Posted by Ladybeetle (from Gainesville, TX) on October 29, 2007 at 11:54 AM:
Actually this is to the pros out there close to me. I want to know the status of your vegetable garden right now! I'm new at this and have just 'made' my hay bale coldframe.(I'm almost to the Red River in North Texas.) I'm going to attempt to grow lettuces in it.What do you think is the best way to do it?
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Posted by Bubba_MoCity (from Missouri City, TX) on October 29, 2007 at 3:40 PM:
There is a Strawbale Gardening Forum, and threads on Southwest Gardening and others.
Winter gardening here in SE TX is wonderful - almost no bugs. Only time I can successfully get cabbage, brussles sprouts, lettuce. Any other time, it's probably 80-90% bug food. Only chemical I use is Murphy's Oil Soap. I do pour a quite a bit of black coffee on things to slow down the snails, but still have some damage.
I know you are several zones north if us so hope someone closer can chime in, too.
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Posted by podster (from Deep East Texas, TX) on October 29, 2007 at 6:44 PM:
My time is shy for a winter garden here so not able to offer much assistance with your question, sorry. I am guessing you are growing loose leaf lettuce? I know that in a conventional bed you can plant garlic and onions as well right now. They need no cold frame protection.
BubbaMo ~ have you ever tried spreading crushed eggshells around your plants to deter the snails? And, please share how you use the Murphys Oil Soap?
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Posted by Bubba_MoCity (from Missouri City, TX) on October 30, 2007 at 11:51 AM:
I'm just beginning with the egg shells.
I mix an oz or two in a 32 oz spray bottle - fill with water and spray everything except tomato leaves. Seems to keep a lot of flying insects in control, and I have never seen any aphids in my garden.
Biggest problem I have is with the @!#$ leaf-footed bugs in the spring/summer on the tomatoes. They are killable when nymphs, but the only thing that works once they are adults is a rock and a hammer.
One of the DG'ers suggested I try Ortho-Max. I really hated to use any chemical, but mixed up a batch in my chemical sprayer. Hit one of the buggers straight in the face - drenched it. It took off flew up about 10 feet over the garden and flew clear to the street and beyond - over 150 feet before I lost sight of it.
Poured out the rest of the OM, and went back to Murphy's. They don't like it, but it won't kill adults or damage any of the good insects.
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Posted by podster (from Deep East Texas, TX) on October 30, 2007 at 8:44 PM:
Excellent, I will save that info and treasure it! Even tho I am not sure what these buddies are ~ LOL
Quoted:
the @!#$ leaf-footed bugs
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Posted by Bubba_MoCity (from Missouri City, TX) on October 31, 2007 at 9:57 AM:
There are several pictures in Bug Files. and I posted one #2331104.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to directly point you to that thread and post.
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Posted by podster (from Deep East Texas, TX) on October 31, 2007 at 7:59 PM:
Bubba ~ I will see if I can find it by that #
If you ever want to make a link, just go to that picture or thread and click on the tool bar address.
When it turns blue, right click on it and you will see a pull down menu.
From that menu, click on copy.
The computer will save that address and you can come back to this thread.
Locate the spot you want to put the link and right click again.
Wallah ~ there it should be...
Have to admit, I didn't learn that till I joined DG. Wonderful place in this garden... pod
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Subject: 7 year plan
Posted by Laurie1 (from Burwash Weald
(United Kingdom)) on October 24, 2007 at 2:25 PM:
Cute article. Wish you and handsome man good gardening. Look forward to seeing it over the next 5 years.
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Posted by bsavage (from Cave Creek, AZ) on October 24, 2007 at 6:19 PM:
You are a very funny and entertaining writer! Love your story, can't wait for the sequels. Best wishes to you and Handsome Man.
Brenda
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Subject: New beds.
Posted by CountryGardens (from Lewisville, MN) on October 24, 2007 at 6:58 AM:
Lori, What a fun article!
I think you & Handsome Man could very well start a new business with all your experience.
"Half-Baked Lasagna.com".
Here the wind never quits blowing, it just changes direction. Yesterday I thought it was going to blow my tractor over. There were 50 MPH gusts reported.
Keep these interesting articles coming,
Have a Great Day!
Bernie
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Posted by TwinLakesChef (from OC, CA & Twin Lakes , IA) on October 24, 2007 at 7:32 AM:
Good to see your property progressing, Lori!
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Posted by Joyous (from Himrod, NY) on October 24, 2007 at 7:56 AM:
Lori, great article, my dream too! Unfortunately energy levels are no where near what is needed to accomplish it though. I will watch for more of your articles.
Joy
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Posted by debnes_dfw_tx (from Fort Worth, TX) on October 24, 2007 at 10:51 AM:
Oh Lori!!
I needed that! What a delightful article. I was relating to you right off the bat because I started last fall shooting for the "no mow" thing in back. My "Handsome Man" is so sweet that he lets me do ALL the work.... So far so OK, LOL! I will probably fight a lot with the obstacles for the next 6 years, but I will remember your article a laugh while I do it.
Thanks!
debnes
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Posted by Dyson (from Moneta, VA) on October 24, 2007 at 11:04 AM:
Neat article Lori!
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Posted by broncbuster (from Waxahachie, TX) on October 24, 2007 at 11:10 AM:
Lori, please show Handsome Man your sincerest appreciation for running that tiller! I just got finished enlarging the beds bordering our home and adding another bed out in the yard. My hands ached after tilling all of that with a little Mantis. I feel his pain. I haven't been able to get the newspaper down, yet, as the wind has been howling for the last week or so. We're working on our 3rd year in our home, and you've given me hope for the next four at least. It's alot of hard work but hopefully it will all be worth it. Marvelous article, as usual! Thanks for writing it and keep 'em coming.
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Posted by Ticker (from Lisbon, IA) on October 24, 2007 at 11:12 AM:
Oh Lori, you make me laugh!! Keep the articles coming!
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Posted by psychw2 (from Boise, ID) on October 24, 2007 at 11:14 AM:
Lori, I laughed at loud when I read your husband's teeth and hands were still shaking at lunch from the tiller! I did not set out to completely eliminate our little lot's grass but it's looking like a very real possibility. I'm sure glad it's NOT the size of your lot though!
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Posted by GrammysGardenAZ (from Cochise, AZ) on October 24, 2007 at 11:17 AM:
Lori, Thank you!!
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on October 24, 2007 at 3:57 PM:
Great article.
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Posted by Islandshari (from Kwajalein
(Marshall Islands)) on October 24, 2007 at 4:33 PM:
So much fun! And some good info hidden in the humor...great job Lori! Keep it up!
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Posted by amazar (from Eau Claire, WI) on October 24, 2007 at 5:08 PM:
Well, I'm on my seventh year in the house I live in. We have no specific plan about when the lawn completely disappears, but (by agreement) I'm eating away at it a little bit every year.
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Posted by Candyce (from The Monadnock Region, NH) on October 25, 2007 at 8:17 AM:
Such a great article. I laughed and related to almost every word. I have no 'Handsome Man' myself, but I have been shaken by a rotortiller often!!
Keep up the great work. I always look forward to your articles.
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on October 25, 2007 at 9:03 AM:
Uh-oh. You all are suggesting I keep you updated as to the progress? I think next year will be the water feature. That ought to be good for a couple of laughs since we are clueless as to what we're doing. We'll need water, right?
Bernie, Handsome Man thought "Half-Baked Lasagna.com" was pretty funny! broncbuster, you must remember that Handsome Man got a brand new pickup with which to haul the rented tiller. Can't say I'm not good to him, now can you? I'd do stuff myself, but he won't let me near machinery or tools with blades. I think that's another story.
Ha ha!
Thank you all for your kind comments.
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Posted by debnes_dfw_tx (from Fort Worth, TX) on October 25, 2007 at 9:55 AM:
Your doing it again Lori, ROFL! ..Do you take that act on the road? LMK, I want good seats in the "friends and family" section!!
debnes
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Posted by lincolnitess (from Lincoln, NE) on October 26, 2007 at 3:26 AM:
Great article Lori! Wish I had a Handsome Man to help me. You are really taking on a big job, but sounds like you're off to a good start. The water feature should be a fun project.
susan
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Posted by debnes_dfw_tx (from Fort Worth, TX) on October 26, 2007 at 10:06 AM:
I would be slap happy with an Un-handsome Man to help me... What with all the fall work to be done in my "no mow" back yard, it could get ugly..
:-O debnes
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Posted by knottthemama (from Duncan, OK) on October 29, 2007 at 5:08 PM:
My friend is planning a grass-free lawn, and apparently looking for my help and suggestions, of which I have few if any. I have a perfect spot for my own though. My step-dad spent his 92nd birthday digging holes out there that you could hide the Atlantic in, and he had been doing it for years. He was so proud of his garden, but really, if he ever managed to raise anything, it was by accident. But it kept him around for a very long time. Strongest 92-year-old-one-armed man in the world. He called himself a 10 minute hoer. He'd hoe for 10 minutes then nap for 20. Only trouble is, he'd go driving down the road looking for mowers. And when he found one, he'd gather up whatever they'd mowed down and bring it in for mulch. Therefore, I fight vetch and Johnson grass out there now. So my Oklahoma red clay is already softened up very well, so the tilling shouldn't be too hard. I'm looking forward to suggestions and ideas, and have really enjoyed reading what you've had to say here. Thanks.
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Posted by lincolnitess (from Lincoln, NE) on November 6, 2007 at 2:51 AM:
My only suggestion is to making sure you leave walking paths so you can enjoy the garden and also weeding paths so you can weed and groom your garden easily without stepping on plants.
