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By Victor Carrano (victorgardener)
January 27, 2008 Mail this article
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Views: 1,282

"Gardening?!! That's for women." That is what I was told by one of my NYC childhood friends when I mentioned my new hobby some years back. Though I cannot print my initial response, it did afford me the opportunity to consider gardening and gender.

Gardening picture If membership at Dave's Garden is any indication, there remains sizeable gender gap when it comes to gardening. Women outnumber men at DG by about four to one. If the breakdown of actual gardeners is anywhere close to that, it is truly a lopsided distribution. Why is that, and what can be done to 'enlighten' more men? That is what I will attempt to explore.

Why do many men still view gardening as a hobby for women? Is it all about flowers? Is caring for flowers equivalent to eating tofu or sprouts, instead of 'men's food' like dripping red meat and potatoes? Possibly. To those men I say start a 'man's garden'! No flowers permitted. Use only scary looking plants. If you can grow them in your area, try cactus, Euphorbia or Agave. (Oh yeah - and don't ever use botanical names, whatever you do!) You will beam as your neighbor walks by with his rottweiler and nods his approval. Contrary to what women believe, we men can empathize too - we just can't admit it. Spines, thorns and other weapon - like plants show the world that this is a well tended 'man's garden'.

Too far north for those plants? Well how about roses? Roses?!! Don't they have flowers? How can they be permitted? Stay with me guys. Yes, roses have flowers, but we have sharp tools. Imagine the joy you will feel when you go out on that beautiful spring day, whip out your best hunting knife and lop off every annoying little bud you find! Even better - use one that is dull so you mangle the plant in the process. What will be left is a sight that would bring a tear to Conan the Barbarian - a shredded, decapitated pile of thorns. Another northern option is barberry. They have convenient thin thorns that go way into your skin before breaking off. I am sure I still have some from 1998 inside me. Invasive in some areas, you say? Bring on the invasion, the real man says. Now it's getting personal. 'Cultural conditions' and 'amending' don't register with us. But invasion we get. Put these thorny babies beneath the windows and now you're also protecting the women and children. 'Tim the Tool Man' would be grunting away!

Of course no man's garden would be complete without meat eating plants! Do plants get any scarier? How cool is it to have plants with the same food tastes as us? I wonder how they like potatoes. Junior slacking off on the homework? No need for the trip to the woodshed anymore - just tell him 'Walk with me, talk with me', as you casually stroll to the flesh-eating bed. Point out that these babies get much bigger, and remind him that he used to have two older brothers. Bend down and show him the fly that landed on your sandwich yesterday. Ha - he should have done his homework too. Maybe he would have landed on neighbor Bob's sandwich instead.

A bit too sophisticated for this lowbrow approach, guys? Then how about this? Get into gardening just because women are into gardening! News flash for the single guys - the quality of women is better at the nursery than at the bar. Go to an overpriced garden center, find a lady that interests you and start asking the salespeople questions in a loud voice. Say that you a) feel it's time to give back to the earth, or, b) are interested in attracting Nature's creatures to your garden, or even, c) want to use plants to explore your creative side. She'll be drawn to you like flies to your rottweiler's...uh, well you get the point.

Married guys - want to rekindle that spark with the Mrs.? What better way than through your garden? Into working out? Then on your next day off, leave your shirt inside and get out there and double dig that new bed your wife has plans for. Pick a time when you know that stay - at - home mom down the street walks by with her stroller. Your double dig will result in a double whammy. First, your wife will be shocked at your gardening effort, and then, when she meets said stay - at - home mom, who comments on both your body and your new hobby, she will once again look at you with that gleam in her eye. (Hallelujah!!!)

Not into working out? Well gardening is one way to start turning that Michelin Man look into an Adonis look. With all the required walking, bending, stretching, digging, etc., it is a great way to ease into a regular exercise program while improving your home at the same time. Of course you need to be healthy enough to start and should consult your physician. A few of my friends who scoffed at gardening believe driving around in a cart, and taking a few swings at a little white ball actually counts as exercise.

No discussion of men and gardening would be complete without touching on a subject men hold near and dear - beer! Its work is not done once you finish drinking. Let the beer do double duty. Don't flush it away. Why waste water and all that beneficial yeast that beer contains? Take a walk (more exercise!) to the compost pile and help activate those little buggers that get the pile cooking! The nitrogen in your urine will also help the process. This is extra fun in the winter when the steam cloud rises from the pile. Spelling out your name while going is optional, however. I usually get into trouble when I try to cross my 't'. A little 'man's math' lesson - just because number one is good, does not mean number two is better. Adding your pile to the pile is a big no-no.

Gardening truly is a wonder I discovered when I bought my house, and its appeal is the same whatever your gender may be. There is nothing 'feminine' about being privileged to take part in Nature, as opposed to simply witnessing it. Or about nurturing something from feeble beginning to strong, independent maturity. Or about growing your own food and knowing that it's been grown with your labor and love, and not sprayed with some unknown chemical in some far away country, and where transportation equals the number of steps to your door. Last, there is nothing feminine, nor masculine, about both showing faith in the future, and helping assure it, by planting.

Okay - still not convinced guys? Then consider this. Would you rather share your feeeeelings with your lady? Didn't think so. See you in the garden!

Credits: Thanks to palmbob for his photo of Euphorbia ferox
Thanks to Calif_Sue for her thorns photo
Thanks to Equilibrium for her photo of Sarracenia 'Night Sky'

About Victor Carrano

My background is in engineering, but these days I am a stay at home dad. I have always loved Nature, but had no idea when I bought my house that I would become the gardening fanatic that I have. Gardening both stimulates and relaxes me, appeals to all my senses and gives me the privilege to be part of the Nature I love.

Subject: None of the Super hots?

Posted by smokemaster (from North Hills, CA) on January 28, 2008 at 6:11 AM:
Can't have a "Mans Garden" without Bhut Jolokias,Naga Morich or Dorset Naga Super Hot Peppers or at least a few Scotch Bonnets nestled between the man eating gotch yas,the belcher farts,and the shooting spined cactus plants.
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Subject: Good article!

Posted by gabagoo (from Yonkers, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 8:05 PM:
Very funny, Victor!
I thinks some men don't mind the gardening thing when it comes to their lawns or tomatoes.

I have a friend who will admire my garden but say, "If it was MY space, I'd have peppers here, tomatoes there.... "

No pretty little flowers - they want BEEFSTEAK tomatoes! LOL!

There's a guy who lives near me who is OBSESSED with his lawn.
He has the PERFECT lawn.
I have driven by and seen him on his knees with a clipper cutting INDIVIDUAL blades so there's nothing uneven!
I am not kidding!
When Autumn rolls around, I think he has a force field over the lawn that prevents any leaf from landing on it.
It's scary.

I think the garden issue is similar to the cooking issue.
There are some guys who can't (or won't) have anything to do with a pot or pan in the kitchen.
But put them outside in front of a grill --- they transform into GRILL KING!

Nancy

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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 8:13 PM:
Thank you Nancy! I have seen plenty of lawn obsessed men too. Ever see the movie 29th Street with Danny Aiello? Great movie. He is in love with his Kentucky bluegrass!
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Posted by smokemaster (from North Hills, CA) on January 28, 2008 at 6:00 AM:
Grill King?
What a wimp,anyone can burn meat on a grill.

Now smokin stuff,thats art.
The perfect mix of spices for the rub,then there is the mop and aslow,cold smoke at just the right temp. for the right amount of time using the perfect blend of hardwood.
If I didn't cook me and Shy Ann would starve.
We don't eat out,ever.
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Subject: Your humor at its best!!!

Posted by DonnieBrook (from New England/Florida
(United States)) on January 27, 2008 at 5:12 PM:
Victor, I have just finished reading this article to my DH and both of us have been howling at your clever suggestions - one after the other. This was such fun to read, and the message is too much to ignore!! Thanks for letting us get a glimpse of you (head omitted) during your workout.....very effective!! LOL
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 5:19 PM:
Thank you, but there has not been a positive ID!
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Posted by DonnieBrook (from New England/Florida
(United States)) on January 27, 2008 at 5:24 PM:
Impressive, nonetheless! LOL
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 5:25 PM:
Thanks - I'll let him know.
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Posted by DonnieBrook (from New England/Florida
(United States)) on January 27, 2008 at 5:36 PM:
Also tell him he has a future in calendar modeling!! LOL
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 5:37 PM:
That should help him find dates.
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Posted by DonnieBrook (from New England/Florida
(United States)) on January 27, 2008 at 5:43 PM:
Between authoring articles and posing for calendar shots, that guy may have to tell his wife to stay home with the kids so he can cover all of his responsibilities to his public!! There will be book and calendar signings.........
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Subject: Pitchfork Man Contest

Posted by gloria125 (from Greensboro, AL) on January 27, 2008 at 5:05 PM:
[HYPERLINK@davesgarden.com]

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Subject: Loved this article!

Posted by Moby (from Lincoln, NE) on January 27, 2008 at 2:27 AM:
And sending it to every "manly man" I know! LOL
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Posted by doccat5 (from Fredericksburg, VA) on January 27, 2008 at 5:31 AM:
ROFLMAO!! Me too!
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Posted by grammyphoeb (from Glens Falls, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 8:04 AM:
Cute Victor!! Enjoyed the article! I'm glad I'm the other gender so I can enjoy gardening without going through all of that!! LOL Maybe I should show it to my DH!! He will help with some heavy work but not with a smile on his face - just to keep me from hurting myself. I have to sneek new plants into the gardens. If he sees them sitting out in pots he whines about more plants but if they are in the garden already he doesn't notice and I can tell him they just grew there - he believes me (not actually a lie is it?) !!! When my father got sick of my mother's flowers he used to drive over them on his riding lawn mower!! (and he was a farmer - he grew just "man crops") He would tell my mother he was sick of them and mow away!! :-( Keep gardening Victor and I'm glad you have more than just "man plants"! Eleanor
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Posted by AYankeeCat (from Bridgeport, CT) on January 27, 2008 at 8:39 AM:
OK, Victor - who is that gardener? Can I p-l-e-a-s-e have the name of his favorite garden center?
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on January 27, 2008 at 9:00 AM:
I sent it to my husband, for yucks! Cat, I don't believe Victor uses a stunt double. xx, C
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Posted by grammyphoeb (from Glens Falls, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 9:10 AM:
Do you really think it is Victor?? Eleanor
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Posted by Dutchlady1 (from Naples, FL) on January 27, 2008 at 9:50 AM:
funny.
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Posted by pixie62560 (from South China, ME) on January 27, 2008 at 10:22 AM:
Good article Victor, glad to see your spreading the word that gardening is not just for women anymore!
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Posted by Dea (from Frederick, MD) on January 27, 2008 at 11:43 AM:
What a fun read Victor! DH is a man's man gardener too :)

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Posted by darius (from Appalachian Mtns, VA) on January 27, 2008 at 1:01 PM:
Well said, Victor!
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Posted by JasperDale (from Long Beach, CA) on January 27, 2008 at 1:34 PM:
Victor: That article was superb...beyond superb. You captured everything I've thought for years. I had an uncle who was the epitome of a "man's man" who grew the most incredible flowers I've ever seen.

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Posted by Sharran (from Calvert City, KY) on January 27, 2008 at 2:49 PM:
For what it's worth, Victor, it was my uncle who got me into gardening in the first place, and though he is fast approaching 90, his daylilies are still more abundant and more beautiful than mine.

Thank you for a great and fun read!
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Posted by bigcityal (from Menasha, WI) on January 27, 2008 at 3:04 PM:
That is funny Victor. As a man I can vouch for your men to women gardening ratio being correct. I met 4 of my 5 wives gardening.LOL
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Posted by AYankeeCat (from Bridgeport, CT) on January 27, 2008 at 3:04 PM:
So, Al, how are your abs?
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Posted by bigcityal (from Menasha, WI) on January 27, 2008 at 3:06 PM:
My son says I have a 1 pack - is that good?
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Posted by AYankeeCat (from Bridgeport, CT) on January 27, 2008 at 3:08 PM:
Don't know until I see it.
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 3:09 PM:
Thanks all! I appreciate the comments. I cannot reveal the identity of Pitchfork Man.
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Posted by JasperDale (from Long Beach, CA) on January 27, 2008 at 4:04 PM:
ah ha ! That means it must be someone of questionable gender!
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Posted by Sofonisba (from Putnam County, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 4:11 PM:
Way to go Victor! Nice going torturing all us desperate ladies out here... Hope your article works to motivate those lazy guys out there!!
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Posted by DiggerDee (from Ffld County, CT) on January 27, 2008 at 4:25 PM:
Hmm, JasperDale, I'd have to say that Pitchfork Man is definitely, well, Pitchfork MAN, lol. No questions there, IMO!

Great article Victor! Thanks.
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Posted by gloria125 (from Greensboro, AL) on January 27, 2008 at 4:36 PM:
Victor. You Nut! Excellent! Did you know there is a contest to reveal the identity of Pitchfork Man?
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 4:50 PM:
Thanks! Hee hee.
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Posted by Sharran (from Calvert City, KY) on January 27, 2008 at 4:53 PM:
Funny Victor that you spend all that time writing an excellent article and we all come away with the Pitchfork Man hanging out in our minds.
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 4:55 PM:
Ha ha!
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Posted by Sharran (from Calvert City, KY) on January 27, 2008 at 4:58 PM:
years from now we will be reminiscing......"I remember that cold January on DG when I read the amazing article about the Pitchfork Man....."
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Posted by gardenwife (from Newark, OH) on January 27, 2008 at 5:11 PM:
Victor, this article is great fun! I'm sending it to a lot of guys! :D
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Posted by Sofonisba (from Putnam County, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 5:35 PM:
Cruel! I tell ya, Victor, you're cruel!!
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Posted by JasperDale (from Long Beach, CA) on January 27, 2008 at 6:48 PM:
I'm a little slow today, ( TODAY ??? LOL ) and just now realized that the guy in the picture is holding a pitchfork. I thought it was Victor holding on to the railing going upstairs from his basement.

It DOES look like a railing, doesn't it?
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Posted by Sharran (from Calvert City, KY) on January 27, 2008 at 6:56 PM:
Something about it reminds me of Albert, the gorilla in San Diego.
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Posted by AYankeeCat (from Bridgeport, CT) on January 27, 2008 at 7:35 PM:
So it is Victor!
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Posted by grammyphoeb (from Glens Falls, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 9:42 PM:
I have to go back and take a good look - didn't see the pitch fork!! Eleanor
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Posted by grammyphoeb (from Glens Falls, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 9:44 PM:
Yes I did see it before, but like JD I thought it was a stair railing!! Eleanor
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Posted by JasperDale (from Long Beach, CA) on January 27, 2008 at 9:47 PM:
Thanks Eleanor...I'm glad I'm not the only one who didn't see a pitchfork !
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Posted by grammyphoeb (from Glens Falls, NY) on January 27, 2008 at 9:51 PM:
Thanks JD! I can always be counted on to be "out to lunch"! LOL Eleanor
p.s. - I wasn't really looking at that part of the pic very well anyway!!!!! ;-)
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Posted by DiggerDee (from Ffld County, CT) on January 27, 2008 at 10:13 PM:
Yeah, we know what you were looking at, lol!

The same thing we all were looking at!

Gee, I guess there ARE more women in gardening, huh?
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Posted by smokemaster (from North Hills, CA) on January 28, 2008 at 5:50 AM:
The guys holding on to the rail of his hospital bed.
His back went out while hefting a few bags of composted cow poo and he's in the hospital trying to farm a few nurses and a sponge bath...
Besides,he's holding in his stomache.

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Posted by rcn48 (from Lexington, VA) on January 28, 2008 at 7:44 AM:
Victor, sorry to be so tardy with my Congrats on a great article! I loved it the first time I read it and it only gets better :)
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Posted by lorettamar (from Southold, NY) on January 28, 2008 at 10:56 AM:
Great article, Victor. Very funny.
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Posted by girlgroupgirl (from Atlanta, GA) on January 28, 2008 at 1:17 PM:
Who do we thank for the muscle man photo?

We're lucky to have more men gardeners in the neighborhood I live in than we have women gardeners! I loved your article and have always thought gardening is for everyone!

girlgroupgirl
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on January 28, 2008 at 1:19 PM:
Thanks everyone! Wow, that is unusual, ggg. Not so where I live.
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Posted by marie_ (from West Central, WI) on January 28, 2008 at 3:32 PM:
I absolutely LOVED the article! What a hoot!

Truth be told, I didn't see a pitchfork. I guess that all I saw was that fine specimen of masculinity.
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Posted by Seandor (from Springfield, MA) on January 28, 2008 at 6:06 PM:
Moi aussi . . . .
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