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Two People, One Garden, and No Plan - Can True Love Conquer All?

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By Carrie Lamont (carrielamont)
February 14, 2008 Mail this article
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Views: 845

I plant a tiny lilac tree, he mows it down. I plant a slightly larger lilac tree, and this time I mark it with an enormous metal stake that says "welcome to my garden". Well, golly, of course, he has to move the stake in order to mow that side of the yard, and so... well... he mows down the lilac tree again.

Gardening picture

Sigh... I buy another lilac tree, but this time I plant it in a pot so it can grow big enough that my dear husband can't possibly miss it when he's mowing. And I'll ask him to plant it instead of getting someone else to do it. And I'll put one of those round plastic collar things around it. And fill it up with impatiens or maybe a groundcover like Creeping Jenny (Lamium) that will grow well in shade (in case the lilac ever gets big enough to make shade). But when your Significant Other sees significance in other things, it can surely test a relationship. Whether you have a partner, spouse, mate, or friend, that person is part of your gardening life, so read on. ♥

I don't know of any break-ups that can be directly attributed to a difference in gardening styles, although I don't just mean that I like a wild look and he likes an orderly look. No, in some aspects of garden planning, I like a living look and he likes a dead look. Take roses. I don't know about you, but every single St. Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, birthday, and anniversary, I get a bouquet of roses. Some years, a spectacular, sunset-colored, three-dozen-stem bouquet. Other years a limp, grocery store bouquet - but always a bouquet of roses. Even when I forget the date, I get the bouquet. I ooh, aah, and exclaim over them, and a week or two later, they're dead roses. I wonder, for the price of one or two bouquets, could my dear, darling husband have bought a rose bush? A live rose bush? A $10 rose bush to plant in a $50 hole? ♥

But, let's concentrate on gardening style. I've been reading and learning and absorbing. I've learned that gardens do look better and more natural with flowers in groups of one, three or more, not twos and fours. And curving lines, not straight rows. My dear, darling, wonderful husband has the job of planting out the perennials I purchase online, even though it might be rainy, cold or even snowing. But next spring, when it's wheelchair weather, I see short flowers coming up in regimental rows behind taller flowers in regimental rows, which in turn are blocked by the plants that he buys on his frequent errands to the local big box store (which he does without complaint and without delay). ♥

He - my dear, darling, wonderful, loyal husband - knows a perennnial from an annual, and thinks that a perennial is the better deal although he often is tempted by the showy blossoms of the annuals (aren't we all). So after his zillionth quick trip to get more potting soil for me, he'll say "look what jumped in the cart when I wasn't looking, Sweetheart, can we keep them?" and bring out 5 or 6 Bee-balm (Monarda didyma) that are destined to be 36 - 60 inches tall! The back wall of my tiny garden is already full. We have the semi-dwarf, Pizzicato poppies (Papaver Orientalis Pizzicato), not the full size ones, and I'm hoping to grow some Pixie Meadowbrite Coneflowers (Echinicea Pixie Meadowbrite) next year - they're the smallest I can find.♥

So I think I will trade away my tall Bee-balms and keep the Love-of-my-life. After all, I do make the gardening decisions, and my decision is that from now on everything that comes in has to be a dwarf, mini or petite variety that is slow growing. And no more planting in the snow for my Dear, Darling, Wonderful, Loyal, Beloved Husband (that's my DDWLBH). Because in my garden, True Love conquers all!♥

Thanks to Todd_Boland, Bigcityal, and Poppysue because nothing in my own garden ever looks this good!

You can buy seeds for the Pizzicato cultivar of poppies here, as well as other places.

About Carrie Lamont

Carrie has two teenage daughters, which is exhausting all by itself. She has been married for seven delightful years to her husband, who works for an airline, facilitating Carrie's frequent need to travel. She is forever coming up with crazy and irreverent schemes and trying to get others to do it her way, but is learning to be humble as she ages. Carrie has a masters degree in Music, and sings as she gardens a small urban plot from her wheelchair.

Subject: lilac bush

Posted by tterral (from Sudbury
(Canada)) on February 18, 2008 at 10:30 AM:
Your story is so familiar. My first bush met its death by mower within a month. Hubby doesn't cut grass too often and didn't see it. Ditto the second one. The third bush made it through several seasons. Had buds on it. Helpful #2 son, tired of hearing mom complain of not being able to see the lake for the grass, decided to cut grass. I told him to avoid the lilac. At the end of our lawn was a poplar sucker. Yep, you guessed right. Lawn cut, bush gone, but sucker lived to grow to full size.
...
Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 18, 2008 at 10:35 AM:
I have one now in a nice big pot - I'm trying to grow it big enough that it can stick up for itself out there! Do you now have a lilac? x, Carrie
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Posted by ownedbycats (from Southern, NH) on February 19, 2008 at 11:01 PM:
My hubby did the same thing. I bought two at the same time - put 1 at the side of the house. He mowed it down 3 times the first year - and one more time the next year --
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 19, 2008 at 11:28 PM:
Are lilacs especially vulnerable? I wonder. . . . . . x, Carrie
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Subject: Great story for today ;)

Posted by doccat5 (from Fredericksburg, VA) on February 14, 2008 at 6:46 AM:
He sounds like a keeper, Carrie. They sell more lilacs.........
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Posted by Dutchlady1 (from Naples, FL) on February 14, 2008 at 6:54 AM:
Cute story. I agree; keep the DH.
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Posted by Seandor (from Springfield, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 7:54 AM:
What a sweetie . . . . :-)
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 8:19 AM:
He is a sweetie, I am keeping him and next time we're collaborating on the placement of the lilac. . . .!
x, Carrie
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Posted by CapeCodGardener (from Mid-Cape, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 11:47 AM:
Romance conquers all! I love it! Especially on V-Day.
--Emily
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Posted by angele (from Elephant Butte, NM) on February 14, 2008 at 12:22 PM:
Very fun reading, thanks for writing!
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Posted by critterologist (from Frederick, MD) on February 14, 2008 at 12:23 PM:
What a fun article! Thanks, Carrie!

I didn't get a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store today... I got a plant I fell in love with last Sunday when my tolerant DH treated me to a stop at a local nursery. He'll stop to browse in a bookstore any time, but plants aren't quite so much his thing. :-)

Happy Valentine's Day!
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Posted by tcs1366 (from Itasca, IL) on February 14, 2008 at 12:41 PM:
Carrie -- great story!! I actually have tears from giggling. What a great guy you've got...

Happy Valentines day!!

my DH says he does not celebrate Hallmark Holidays ...
so if i want flowers, i buy them myself... but I usually wait til Spring and buy a new Rose bush.
...
Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 2:03 PM:
Good plan, tcs. I would prefer not to celebrate Hallmark holidays myself, but I've got a big mushball for husband.

"Oh, sweetie, I really didn't mind that one year when all I got was $5 worth of Godiva chocolates and not $50 worth of roses - dead roses - I mean beautiful incredible unbelievable roses! (How much did he charge you for the balloon? You're kidding me!) Thank you, darling, mmmmmwah!" -me

"You deserve so much better, i should have got the filler foliage too." -him

Yup, he's a keeper.

xx, Carrie
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Posted by tcs1366 (from Itasca, IL) on February 14, 2008 at 2:09 PM:
ROFLMAO

I thinik DH bought me flowers ONCE in our relationship. It was my 20th Bday and we were supposed to be going out to dinner and he got called away.... At the time, he was working for a charter operation out of O'Hare, mostly flying transplant teams... so, when they need ya, ya gotta go. OH, and no cell phones back then... so i came home to a note.

I still have the lil wooden sign that came with the flowers.

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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 2:24 PM:
Awwwww. I had a guy when I was 20 - never bought me flowers nor little wooden signs. Sounds like we both got keepers now! x, C
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Posted by tcs1366 (from Itasca, IL) on February 14, 2008 at 2:28 PM:
you're just too funny!!
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Posted by tcs1366 (from Itasca, IL) on February 14, 2008 at 2:35 PM:
OH bummer -- i can't add an image to this post

well, here is my lil wooden flower 'card'
[HYPERLINK@www.smythcustomknives.com]
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 2:57 PM:
sniffle... sniffle... isn't that just the sweetest? Is that the actual exact one? Wow.
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Posted by tcs1366 (from Itasca, IL) on February 14, 2008 at 3:00 PM:
yea -- it's the same one. I figure, with DH, those lil trinkets are few and far between.... so i'd better keep it.
He's a super guy... but far from romantic.
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 3:02 PM:
Ha ha, I got super and romantic, just not clairvoyant, and doesn't take a hint, either.
x, C
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Posted by amethystsm (from New Haven, CT) on February 14, 2008 at 6:31 PM:
great article, Carrie! my DH rarely brings me cut flowers anymore - he's learned that since i've started gardening, i just don't feel the same about bouquets... He doesn't buy me the growing kind either, but he digs out poison ivy for me, and what more can a girl ask for?

amy
*
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Posted by darius (from Marion, VA) on February 14, 2008 at 6:49 PM:
Appropriate message for the day... and fun!
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 8:14 PM:
Thank you all.... DH still feels like a Real Man would buy me a huge bouquet of dead flowers... This year, lucky for me, we're too broke, so he has to help make compost!

x, Carrie
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Posted by Seandor (from Springfield, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 10:12 PM:
My DH always buys chocolate - then helps me eat them :-)
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 15, 2008 at 10:28 AM:
That's the spirit!
x, Carrie
(What brand does he buy, though?)
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Posted by Seandor (from Springfield, MA) on February 16, 2008 at 8:45 PM:
Hershey - we are not affluent enough to buy elite chocolates
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 17, 2008 at 9:52 AM:
See's - if one is going to buy candy once a year, might as well buy what one will eat. Otherwise I'm just feeding the mice, and they could stand to lose a few ounces each. May the spirit of love shine upon each of us. . . .

xoxoxo, Carrie

edited to say except the mice in the attic.

This message was edited Feb 17, 2008 8:53 AM
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Posted by Seandor (from Springfield, MA) on February 17, 2008 at 11:37 AM:
Well, I eat less of the grease-bar chocolate! If it were REALLY good stuff, I would eat it all by myself :-)

No mice in the attic!
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Posted by amethystsm (from New Haven, CT) on February 17, 2008 at 3:21 PM:
O gee - i can't do Hershey's. If i have to have over-the-counter chocolate, it's gotta be at least Russell Stover's. Choxie at Target has some good stuff, and pretty too. Trader Joe's chocolate bars are inexpensive good quality.
It's pretty cool that FINALLY in recent years there is more quality chocolate becoming available in the US.

amy
*
(chocolate snob)
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Posted by tcs1366 (from Itasca, IL) on February 17, 2008 at 3:41 PM:
OH -- i just love TJ's Organic Dark Chocolate ... they're good for you too.

This thread did get me thinking.... it's not like DH doesnt buy me things on a whim ... but they are things that you would think of .... like a custom marble with a rose in the middle. I get things that are more like his interests or hobbies.
So if i said I got a 25th anniversary Walter Brend .... you'd have no idea what i was talking about... but its' a stunning gift.
So - guess he can be a softy.

Chocolates.... he knows better to buy me those.... I'll just slap'em right to my thighs!!
...

Subject: Nice story!!

Posted by grammyphoeb (from Upper Hudson Valley, NY) on February 14, 2008 at 6:16 AM:
Carrie - What a nice story and especially for Valentine's Day!! You're very lucky to have a DDWLBH - even if he does mow down lilac bushes!! LOL Eleanor
(Here's a pic of my lilac bush just for you)
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on February 14, 2008 at 8:21 AM:
Aw, shucks, Eleanor, now I REALLY want that lilac bush!

xxx, Carrie
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