This is a call to all gardeners to unite in providing bed names with definition according to form and function. Perhaps the Bureau of Standards could be involved. They're the ones who say what size light bulbs have to be, and how big margarine tubs are. Did you ever see a 12.7-oz. margarine tub? Of course not. Gardeners could set their own standards, so that when talking about a garden, everyone, even non-gardeners, would know what they are talking about. The following are suggested names and definitions for what will hereby be known as the Standard of Named Beds.
Posted by critterologist (from Frederick, MD) on February 19, 2008 at 1:20 AM:Lori, I never quite know what to expect from your articles... but I always know I'll enjoy them! You had me giggling and occasionally hooting with every bed description on your list. I recognize quite a few from my yard, but I'm not telling which ones... ;-)
Thank you!
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Posted by beckygardener (from (Becky) in Sebastian, FL) on February 19, 2008 at 1:37 AM:
Lori - You are such a hoot! Loved the article. It had me laughing ... and thinking!!! I very much enjoyed it! I look forward to your next feature article!
Thanks for the laugh!
~Becky~
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Posted by chris_lcf530 (from Peachtree City, GA) on February 19, 2008 at 7:52 AM:
Perfect article for the morning coffee. Thanks for the great wake up.
chris
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Posted by Moby (from Lincoln, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 9:15 AM:
Now you have me thinking what other beds I need to install...... :)
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Posted by vossner (from Richmond, TX) on February 19, 2008 at 9:47 AM:
adored it
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Posted by Bubba_MoCity (from Missouri City, TX) on February 19, 2008 at 10:27 AM:
Mine must be "Unmade bed" - it looks a mess all the time.
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Posted by cheryletanner (from Waycross, GA) on February 19, 2008 at 11:24 AM:
How creative! Thanks for the giggle.
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Posted by cathy4 (from St. Louis County, MO) on February 19, 2008 at 11:46 AM:
Wasn't quite sure where the title was leading me, but I sure liked the trip! Right now mine look like death beds.
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Posted by AYankeeCat (from Fairfield County, CT) on February 19, 2008 at 12:43 PM:
How fun!
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Posted by langbr (from Olathe, KS) on February 19, 2008 at 1:18 PM:
Ummmmmm.....what to do when ALL your beds are Murphy Beds??? Great read!!!
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Posted by 2pugdogs (from Winfield, KS) on February 19, 2008 at 1:39 PM:
Thanks Lori, this was a great article. I am still laughing.
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Posted by Mahnot (from DFW area, TX) on February 19, 2008 at 2:30 PM:
Oh, Lori ! I must be the only one with a Death Bed -
everything I plant there dies, except the weeds :o(
Loved your so-funny and informative article.
Never knew there was such variety in the type of
garden beds.
Anita
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Posted by amethystsm (from New Haven, CT) on February 19, 2008 at 3:21 PM:
hysterical - loved it!
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Posted by amethystsm (from New Haven, CT) on February 19, 2008 at 3:27 PM:
How about a dog or cat bed?
i think a flat bed is what you get when someone mows or weed whacks what you planted. (Been there!)
A guest bed? Where you grow things to be shared with others? Or where you grow things other people gave to you?
amy
*
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Posted by PrimroseSue (from Medway, MA) on February 19, 2008 at 4:39 PM:
Touche! A delightful read! (Do I sound like a book critic?)
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Posted by Dutchlady1 (from Naples, FL) on February 19, 2008 at 5:38 PM:
great and humorous article.
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Posted by LarryR (from South Amana, IA) on February 19, 2008 at 6:06 PM:
What a great sense of humor, Lori! A delightful read :-)
Larry
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Posted by GrammysGardenAZ (from Cochise, AZ) on February 19, 2008 at 6:53 PM:
I'm always pleased to see your name in the article list. Know it will lighten my day! Thanks again, Sue
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Posted by tucsonjill (from Tucson, AZ) on February 19, 2008 at 7:27 PM:
That was wonderful! I think I have some re-naming to do!
Thanks for a great read!
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Posted by grampapa (from Wheatfield, NY) on February 19, 2008 at 7:43 PM:
Lori, your profile says not to take you too seriously. how could we possibly? you're adorable! I just loved this one. Now I absolutely will take a lighter approach when I name my next bed. I should come to you for suggestions ;0)
thanks for hi-lite of my day...jan
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 8:56 PM:
Thanks, everyone! You're all so kind. Perhaps we should have a second article with the continuation of cathy & Mahnot's Deathbeds, Bubba's UnMade Bed (why didn't I think of that?) and all Amy's great ideas. :-) You all could be contributors!
When all the beds are Murphy Beds, it's time to move. Must be the heat. Or the cold. Or the soil. Or the deer. Or... LOL! Notice I didn't tell which ones I have either. (Giggle)
Wanting to know if PrimroseSue is a book critic,
Lori
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Posted by soapwort243 (from South Milwaukee, WI) on February 19, 2008 at 9:08 PM:
You know for the last couple of weeks, i've been thinking about, in spring, getting the old metal headboard and footboard and putting it out in the yard and planting flowers in it. I like the picture in your article. It gave me an idea, that the wood boards around it look good.
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Posted by marsue (from Cabot, AR) on February 19, 2008 at 9:21 PM:
Very funny and imaginative article!
Being new in this house, all my beds are "baby beds". I'll be glad when they grow up to "toddler beds", at least. LOL
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on February 19, 2008 at 9:50 PM:
Very good, Lori! Lots of fun. You might add pull-out bed - for those experiments that did not work. Futon - for the Japanese themed bed. Inflatable bed - balloon flowers and friends. Day bed - daylilies, of course. Thanks.
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Posted by Moby (from Lincoln, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 10:04 PM:
Then the toddlers get 'bunk beds' (terraced). Would a raised bed be a 'loft bed'?
This message was edited Feb 19, 2008 8:07 PM
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Posted by marsue (from Cabot, AR) on February 19, 2008 at 10:13 PM:
This is way too much fun! I think Lori has created a monster here! LOL
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 10:18 PM:
Nail Bed. Real gardeners don't have any decent ones left.
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Posted by Moby (from Lincoln, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 10:23 PM:
I know that I've seen a "truck bed' somewhere.......
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on February 19, 2008 at 10:31 PM:
Platform bed - dedicated to those hideous 70's plants. Sleep number bed - each side can be adjusted to the garden partner's taste - more perennial, less annual, etc.
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 10:34 PM:
LOL!
What about a Pedestal Bed? Ooooh, that's a tricky one... Anyone have any ideas?
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Posted by GrammysGardenAZ (from Cochise, AZ) on February 19, 2008 at 10:35 PM:
Garden art of course!
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Posted by marsue (from Cabot, AR) on February 19, 2008 at 10:37 PM:
Pedestal Bed--a flower bed in a birdbath? Maybe?
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on February 19, 2008 at 10:38 PM:
Pedestal bed - for the henpecked male gardener.
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Posted by Moby (from Lincoln, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 10:40 PM:
DH suggested a hide-a-bed. I think I might be offended! ;)
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Posted by vossner (from Richmond, TX) on February 19, 2008 at 10:40 PM:
not very imaginative, but here's my attempt
rollaway bed, put some casters on that puppy and voila
adjustable bed, style adjusts to whatever lives
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 10:41 PM:
You guys crack me up! What about Bubba's Unmade Bed? One that will look beautiful just as soon as you get around to it? A bed that needs entirely covered up?
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Posted by marsue (from Cabot, AR) on February 19, 2008 at 10:43 PM:
Dry stream bed?--one that is full of gravel?
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 10:46 PM:
Oh, oh, oh, that's a good one! Which leads us, of course, to River Bed. Whatever grows under the drainpipe maybe?
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 10:47 PM:
Downspout, I meant. Not drainpipe. Drainpipes go with sewers, don't they? Definitely not with beds anyway.
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on February 19, 2008 at 10:48 PM:
Loft bed - for all those 'found' plants.
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Posted by mistygardener (from Saint James, MO) on February 19, 2008 at 10:48 PM:
How about a heart shaped bed-full of love.♥
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 10:53 PM:
Which would contain scentuous flowers, right? ;-)
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Posted by mistygardener (from Saint James, MO) on February 19, 2008 at 10:54 PM:
Why of course. :o)
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on February 19, 2008 at 10:55 PM:
Guest Bed - for those invasives you can never get rid of - like Uncle Henry.
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Posted by marsue (from Cabot, AR) on February 19, 2008 at 11:02 PM:
Oh, that's funny--guest bed!! LOL
Sweet, Tammy--a heart shaped bed!. As a matter of fact we have two of those already and one of them has roses in it and roses stand for love--right? The other one is still "cooking"--just waiting for all those "scentuous" flowers!!
Now what would you put in a River Bed?
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 11:03 PM:
Moss? Toads and fish?
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Posted by vossner (from Richmond, TX) on February 19, 2008 at 11:03 PM:
I'm out of my league with all you clever people. In fact, I'm going to bed!
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on February 19, 2008 at 11:04 PM:
Something from Crimea??
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on February 19, 2008 at 11:05 PM:
What kind of bed, voss? LOL!
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Posted by mistygardener (from Saint James, MO) on February 19, 2008 at 11:06 PM:
Ok Mau, I wanna see pics of your 'love' beds! ♥
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Posted by marsue (from Cabot, AR) on February 19, 2008 at 11:09 PM:
Tammy, if you will go to my gardening blog here at DG you can view those beds. Remember, they are new and there was nothing much in them when the photos were taken but you can see the heart-shape.
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Posted by marsue (from Cabot, AR) on February 19, 2008 at 11:14 PM:
| Quoted: |
| Something from Crimea?? |
I'm kinda dense--explain, please?...
Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on February 19, 2008 at 11:14 PM:
Air Bed - Euonymus 'Blondy' and of course, Daylily, 'Dumb Blonde'.
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Posted by victorgardener (from Lower Hudson Valley, NY) on February 19, 2008 at 11:15 PM:
Crimea River (famous song - Cry Me a River)
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Posted by marsue (from Cabot, AR) on February 19, 2008 at 11:16 PM:
Oh, you funny person,you! ROFLOL
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Posted by beckygardener (from (Becky) in Sebastian, FL) on February 19, 2008 at 11:20 PM:
ROFLMBO! Y'all are killing me! I love the "Guest Bed"! Too funny!
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Posted by mistygardener (from Saint James, MO) on February 19, 2008 at 11:23 PM:
HA HA HA you all are way too funny! :o)
Mau, will need updated pics this Spring! :)
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Posted by marsue (from Cabot, AR) on February 19, 2008 at 11:32 PM:
Air Bed---now I'm going to bed on that one--if I can stop laughing long enough!!
Tammy, you'll have those updated pics just as soon as there is something in those beds that goes to blooming!!
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Posted by mistygardener (from Saint James, MO) on February 19, 2008 at 11:33 PM:
Obakabie baby! :o)
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Posted by beckygardener (from (Becky) in Sebastian, FL) on February 19, 2008 at 11:34 PM:
Water bed? Perhaps a bog area of the garden???
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Posted by PrimroseSue (from Medway, MA) on February 19, 2008 at 11:53 PM:
Victor, who gave you permission to sneak out of the NE?
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Posted by amethystsm (from New Haven, CT) on February 20, 2008 at 1:02 AM:
i forget - was there a four poster bed? a canopy bed?
i guess a canopy bed would be for shade plants...
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Posted by angele (from Elephant Butte, NM) on February 20, 2008 at 1:27 AM:
LOL, glad I didn't miss this one! Fun!!!
I love fun
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Posted by frausnow (from Winterville, GA) on February 25, 2008 at 9:31 AM:
Oh, you clever people! Lori, thank's for a great read.
JoAnn
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Posted by hydrangea80 (from Council Bluffs, IA) on March 7, 2008 at 2:32 PM:
I haven't kept up with these articles like I want to but I am glad I was able to find this article, Lori! You are so creative and fun, and I laughed and laughed thinking about all of the names we used on garden tours! What a great new pasttime!!! :)
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