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Fligh Buhnight Nurseries at Helengone, Arizona, is pleased to announce its recent acquisition of the rare and exotic. This week only, we offer to the public those plants and products recently discovered in remote location along the shores of Nevada, and bulbs previously known only to the Sasquatch in the mountains of Iowa.
Also included are scarce specimens and unfamiliar hybrids from the scientists at Heer T'Deigh Gaunt Mar Oh Greenhouse, representing major breakthroughs in horticulture.Your landscape may never look the same again.The following are the offerings of the week, representative of the greatest finds of this century:
The Blue Tulip ~ You heard us.The elusive blue tulip is now available by mail order only.The new cultivar in the Greggii division, Blue Taboo, will delight your friends and fill your neighbors with envy.Beginning as a dark navy blue, the colors lighten with age, to the irresistible shade of denim.Tulips bulbs are planted in the fall, but we recommend ordering and paying now and we will store them for you until fall.They will even perennialize in Alabama!
Grow bananas in cold climates with our exclusive Bananoak Tree!That's right.Fool the squirrels!While the squirrels wait for acorns, you can rest assured they will be fooled when the oak tree produces bananas.Amaze your friends!Take a banana to work and explain to them you grew it yourself in Minnesota.Specimens are small, but will produce bananas after 5-7 years of careful nurturing.
You've seen the bi-colored Daffodils, but we assure you that you've never seen any like this!This select hybrid, called Redlow for its alternating petals of red and yellow, is available for a limited time.Bulbs are gigantic.Supplies are limited, so order plenty of these enormous bulbs early.
Guaranteed Rabbit and Deer Deterrent available only at Fligh Buhnight Nurseries.Don't let bunnies nibble your lilies any longer.Bambi will take extremes to avoid your garden with our guaranteed deterrent.Our product is much more environmentally friendly than harsh chemical treatments that may not work.Caution must be used in the application of our deterrent however.Too much adrenalin and our guaranteed deterrent will mow down established plants.Too little nourishment and stimulation and our guaranteed deterrent may languish with ambivalent sloth.
To order these and other fine products, send your $100 money order to the following address and we'll hold the products for you until shipping time!
Fligh Buhnight Nurseries
P.O. Box 13
Helengone, AZ12345-6789
(This is SATIRE!)
*****Special thanks to Dea O'Hopp (Dea) for providing photos of the blue tulips she found in her garden and making them available to the public for the first time ever.
About Lori Geistlinger
Lori and her husband, Handsome Man, garden in the heart of Tornado Alley in the Midwest. She likes perennials, because if they don't come back, chances are she forgot she planted them and doesn't realize she killed them. Don't take her too seriously.
Posted by 3Merrymen (from Clarendon Hills, IL) on April 7, 2008 at 11:55 AM:
I've been looking everywhere for a Japanese Angelica tree. There was a picture of it in the "Birds & Blooms" magazine in Oct/Nov 2007 (page 16) I found a place called future forest but they are in the UK and don't ship to the US. Is there anyplace in the states that I can purchase a tree?
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Subject: From April
Posted by Aunt_A (from Tulsa, OK) on April 1, 2008 at 11:51 PM:
Hee hee...
I loved it!
I've always loved April Fool's day...I guess I thought it was my personal day meant to fool everyone.
You got me this time!
Fun and funny. Thanks for the good laugh.
Aunt_A
aka: April Campbell
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Subject: Ordered from them before...
Posted by BrightStar (from Chesapeake, VA) on April 1, 2008 at 11:23 PM:
I'm sure I ordered from this company before...it sounds so familiar...I thought the bananaoak was tropical, though,and not hardy in my Zone 8...
I would like the rabbit and deer deterent product, though...
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Subject: What a hoot!
Posted by LarryR (from South Amana, IA) on April 1, 2008 at 12:16 PM:
Thanks for the chuckles, Lori. You have a wonderful (and clever) sense of humor! Thanks also for the reminder that it's April Fool's Day. I tend to forget and invariably end up in somebody's Gotcha!--Larry
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Posted by KaperC (from No. San Diego Co., CA) on April 1, 2008 at 12:47 PM:
I'll take one of each! Well done, Lori.
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on April 1, 2008 at 9:53 PM:
I'll send one of each as soon as we get your money. LOL! Glad you both enjoyed it.
Lori
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Subject: ROFL
Posted by doccat5 (from Fredericksburg, VA) on April 1, 2008 at 11:38 AM:
Thank you for sharing!! What a total hoot! I loved it!!
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Posted by AnalogDog (from Mountlake Terrace, WA) on April 1, 2008 at 7:01 PM:
And I got suckered in....
Argh!
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on April 1, 2008 at 9:53 PM:
Gotta have a little fun once in a while, dontcha think? ;-)
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Posted by heavenscape (from Tabor City, NC) on April 1, 2008 at 10:46 PM:
Oh my!!!!!!! This is proof in itself that either she's unable to play in the dirt, or been too long in the sun!!
Lolol!
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Subject: I completely forgot
Posted by LiliMerci (from Norcross, GA) on April 1, 2008 at 10:56 AM:
I thought the pictures looked digitally enhanced and then I remembered - It's April Fools Day!!! That was so funny.
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on April 1, 2008 at 9:52 PM:
"Digitally enhanced" might be an understatement. :-) Glad you enjoyed it.
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Posted by bigcityal (from Menasha, WI) on April 1, 2008 at 11:22 PM:
I had forgot all about the daff project you had!
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Subject: looked at pictures first
Posted by cathy4 (from St. Louis County, MO) on April 1, 2008 at 10:49 AM:
I glanced at the pictures first and almost had a heart attack, blue tulips! Get out the checkbook! Now, I'm sitting here, crushed and crying. What a terrible trick to pull on your fellow gardeners! Ya got me good! c4
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on April 1, 2008 at 9:51 PM:
Quoted:
crushed and crying
I think the April Fool is on me! LOL!
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Subject: I think I got one of their catalogs...
Posted by KyWoods (from Melbourne, KY) on April 1, 2008 at 12:07 AM:
ROFLOL One question--do you rent the monkeys out to harvest the bananas?
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Posted by kniphofia (from Ashington
(United Kingdom)) on April 1, 2008 at 1:30 AM:
This gave me a good laugh! Yes haven't we all seen those catalogues? :)
Thanks!
Sue
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Posted by Dea (from Frederick, MD) on April 1, 2008 at 7:10 AM:
Thanks Lori for the morning hysterics - DH laughed so hard :)
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Posted by jlp222 (from Hammond, LA) on April 1, 2008 at 9:11 AM:
Very funny and appropriate for April Fool's Day.
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Posted by peachespickett (from Huntington, AR) on April 1, 2008 at 9:12 AM:
I was all set to order that blue tulip, though I thought it did look like it'd been dipped in varnish. My bananaoak only produces low-quality plantains. It appears also that you have one cute dog, and one terrifying night-demon dog.
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Posted by darius (from Marion, VA) on April 1, 2008 at 10:26 AM:
Cute!
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Posted by Sharran (from Calvert City, KY) on April 1, 2008 at 10:49 AM:
too funny!
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Posted by carrielamont (from Milton, MA) on April 1, 2008 at 11:43 AM:
LOL - I don't think I got one of their catalogs - I know I got a whole pile waiting to be composted! xx, Carrie
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Posted by plantladylin (from East Central, FL) on April 1, 2008 at 1:36 PM:
What a hoot ... made my day!
:) Smiles :)
Happy April 1st to everyone!
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Posted by bugme (from Barnesville, GA) on April 1, 2008 at 2:19 PM:
You mean you don't sell the potato/tomato tree??????
Funny:):)
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Posted by McGlory (from Southeast, NE) on April 1, 2008 at 9:50 PM:
Notes from the company:
Monkeys can be leased by the pair for a mere $50 per harvest. Pay in advance, of course. Rounding them up is the responsibility of the lessee.
The marvelous Blue Tulip does have a lacquer-type sheen that merely adds to its beauty.
The photos of the rabbit and deer deterrent show the same species, although it does appear somewhat more fierce in limited lighting.
The potato/tomato tree is nothing but a farce introduced by less-than-reputable companies. We would never sell such a thing.
;-) April Fool's everyone! Hope you had a good joking day, and thanks for making me smile.
