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Accessible Gardening: #20 Practical Matters for Physically Challenged Gardeners, 4 by Agavegirl1

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In reply to: #20 Practical Matters for Physically Challenged Gardeners

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Agavegirl1 wrote:
Good Morning Gang :D

Finally rested up, kitchen and patio cleaned up, and pot holders replaced yesterday with new ones (eye roll). Got a few dish towels too. Didn't realize how rag-tag mine were until I had washed them. One of those things not high up on priority list I guess. Keeping the liquor cabinet stocked has been more so.
Not that we drink excessively but when you don't have the money to go out to bars and restaurants you "economize" and make your own fun at home. Hmmm....I can pay on average $25.00 for a whole fifth of booze and get at least 20 shots out of it (or more) and have it several weeks/months OR I can go out and pay $4.00-$7.00 per every 1 drink and drink one night!
It's also nice when we have company/entertain. We can't afford to stock the cabinet all at once but we grab a bottle of something here and there to replace or fill the bar. Guests appreciate it. We've never had anyone take advantage of it, drink excessively or not contribute something to it at some point. So it works. We're all too old to be sitting in bars or hanging out in clubs anyway. Past it.
Speaking of guests and manners..........

Your EX, well I can understand the restaurant thing a little. He probably wanted to take you somewhere decent and was too embarrassed to say he didn't have the money to pay for a big meal plus tip for two. BUT he should have never let you eat by your self. He could have just ordered a salad or just an appetizer and skipped desert.

The movie thing would have been the last time I ever saw him. He asked you out. You didn't ask him. You two didn't say, "Hey let's meet up at..." or "Let's go to the movies" or "We'll go Dutch." HE ASKED YOU OUT! As a woman I always expect this to mean he is taking responsibility for the date, plans and finances. He is in charge of the evening. Beyond asking me what movie I would like to see there shouldn't be anything else he may need my input on.

If I asked him out I would assume the same responsibility of being in charge and for paying. I have done this before. Even so guys have still offered to pay and I've said, "No, I asked you out. You are my guest. If you ask me then you pay." Most would ask me out again. I had a couple call and say, "Why didn't you call? I was waiting for you to ask me out." My response was, "Why? The phone works both ways. If you wanted to go out again you could have called me. We could have just met somewhere and gone Dutch. It sounds more like you want a free meal so that's why you were waiting for me to ask. No thanks, I'm busy."

I have never, never, never, taken money out of my purse to pay for a date that someone asked me out on. I've let them sit there and flounder on why they couldn't pay a tip or had to call a buddy because they didn't have enough money. I often had $50.00 or more in my purse but never offered it.
Maybe I'm odd but I've always felt if you ask or be your guest for an evening out or anywhere then YOU are the person who should have all the bases covered: restaurant/food, tip, entertainment, transportation if needed, etc. If you can't afford certain things there are more modest and even free things to do. If someone likes "you" they're really not so interested in the activity as they are in spending time with you. If you really like them then it shouldn't matter how much money they spend on the date...but they shouldn't ask you to pay for it.

Don't worry I had one with plenty of money but whose ethics I found a little questionable in terms of his work and how he handled his family. I found myself continuing to see him. I eventually wound up engaged to him. I also moved out one day when he went to work. I never said anything or gave any indication. Me, my stuff and any and all traces of my presence disappeared before he got home. I deliberately left his door unlocked and the key on the table. I never got a phone call either from him or any attempts from him to see me at work or to talk to my friends, family, show up at places where I went, etc.
Pretty much told me all I knew but didn't want to see for a long time. I later found out this was standard operating procedure with him in terms of women. I was one of many in a line. Engagement rings, delay tactics and blowing sunshine up someone's butt was cheap compared to having a wife you actually married and who could take half of everything you had when she found out what you were really about. In retrospect the guy did me a favor. Better off for knowing him and how to spot it.
Since hindsight is 20-20 I didn't get married for the first time until I was 37. Lived with David a year at 34-35. Got engaged a year 35-36. Finally married him on September 24, 2005 at age 37. It will be 10 years of marriage in 15 days.
Any young girl, or boy for that matter, that talks to me about unhappy dating relationships I say one thing:
Don't ever settle for less than what you want. The minute you do is the minute you get less than what you settle for.

Sounds like you made a much better choice with Ray :D
Cluttered kitchen or not it seems like you've got a great life with a good friend and partner who makes life, good, entertaining and as much fun for you all as possible. Cool you guys like music. Dave used to play trombone. He's the real music aficionado. I swear between the wires, plugs, and remotes I need manuals to turn on the t.v. and stereo. I love music, appreciate all types, just can't play it, read it or "understand" it. I'm a left brain person. Music is right brain like math and science.
Also feel much better knowing someone else burns their pot holders.

Jim, guests. I think the young lady's boyfriend scared some sense into her. Chris is one of Dave's good friends. Chris is kind of an odd guy with odd hobbies and a lot of people don't get him at work so he's not real popular. He's not disliked, just not real popular and viewed as a nerd/oddball. Dave is one of the few people that gets along well with Chris. I'm sure Chris wanting to maintain his friendship forewarned Amanda (Ms. Thang) that she better not make problems with his friend, his friend's wife of for him personally.

I also think Ms. Thang knew I wasn't going to be in the mood for her especially on my husband's birthday and a house full of people and after cooking a meal that took me 2 days to basically prepare. So Ms. Thang behaved herself. Like I said too, she may just be starting to realize we're not out to get her because she's "younger" and we really are o.k. people she can relax. We will (force ourselves) to be nice to her and accept her as Chris's girlfriend. (Why though we can't figure out).

I'm so glad there wasn't any drama. I was tired. I just didn't have the energy to beat up on someone. Plus I was dressed a little nicer and didn't want to ruin my shirt. It was already a challenge keeping the enchilada sauce and chocolate off it.

But yes...I can and am very frightening when I'm mad. don't let the cute little 5 foot 3 inch me and always smiling face fool you. Takes a lot. I mean an awful lot. Have to push, push, push, push, push me but then look out. I explode. If I'm yelling that's good. It means I get over quickly because I'm just annoyed. I vented and got over it.
If I don't say anything and just avoid you for while then you're in real trouble. When I finally do say something you can expect to be left in a pile of smoldering ashes, right after you just ducked whatever it was I've thrown at you first! Thankfully those are very, very, very rare occasions and limited to things that don't really inflict pain like pillows or a magazine! (red face).
I have to admit I threw a handful of dog kibble one time. Didn't quite have the intended effect I wanted it to. Dog was kind of happy about it though. She got all excited. Thought it was a new game and began bouncing around hunting out pieces of kibble. (lol) Did kind of make me see I was being silly though. We wound up laughing as soon as I did it and the dog thought we were actually playing.

Now don't anyone judge too harshly...we all have tempers and are human. The main point is this is a very, very rare thing and I can probably count on 1 hand in 10 years I have been this mad. Honestly though owning a Greyhound has been good. They are hyper sensitive to people's reactions and tones of voice more so than other dogs. So now we "talk sternly" or just have to talk about things rather than raise voices. Otherwise the dog gets upset and will literally mope for days and avoid us and won't eat! No joke. We can't yell because of the dog! It hurts her feelings and sense of well being in the "pack". And they say having pets is only good for ones emotional health. It does wonders for marriages.

Yeah kitchen flubs. Pumpkin roll sounds good. Much better than pumpkin cake!
Brownie-fudge cake worked I guess. I just look at that thing and think, well....whatever Dave can't take to work and pawn off on coworkers I can let dry out and use it as a door stop or paper weight. It's heavy enough. Also smoked mushroom soup....yummm! It is kind of funny though what one can pull off. I think the key is just convincing others that's what it was "supposed to" be in the first place. There was no such thing as a mistake...just a happy accident.

It does seem like a lot of birthdays are in the fall. Almost everyone in my family both sides are in September. We have several anniversaries in November. Birthdays in December, January, February. I'm the only "Spring" birthday. Nothing in Summer or until Fall again. Dark early? Finally cool enough at night/in the day? Nothing good on T.V.? Women's way of getting you away from sports on T.V.? Don't have money to go out due to upcoming holidays? It is the holidays? Mall is too crowded at this time? More time off from work so you have more energy? I dunno...only reasons I can come up with for this phenomenon.

Ohhhh....funnel cake and fried dough! I love fried dough with cinnamon and sugar. Good old fair junk food. Cotton candy, caramel apples, Philly steak sandwiches, FRENCH FRIES!! Now that's what I'm talking about! Blooming onions don't sound bad either. Go great with that steak sandwich. I wouldn't even make you win me a prize...just buy me fried dough and French Fries! Home made ice cream! :D

I'm not one for the rides. Always because I over ate. Food....and animals were why you went to the fair. Wanted rides you went to the amusement park! At the fair though I used to love the Speed Barn. Canfield Fair in Canfield, Ohio was a huge deal and I think one of the largest fairs going. They had harness racing. Used to go love to look at the racers. Owners would often take them out of the stall and let me pet them (humor a little kid). The draft horses! Clydesdale, Belgian, Percheron. Used to love them. Still do. Really sweet.
They had horse shows, equestrian jumping and quarter horse barrel agility riding events, 4-H, American Kennel club did dog shows there (really cool to see a 'real' dog show), they had cat shows (mom loved it, I dripped, sneezed and scratched); and horse shows (Arabians, Tennessee Walkers, etc.) Of course there were the goats, sheep, pigs, cows, etc. to go look at! You had to go see all the crazy looking types of roosters in the poultry barn and listen to them go off all day.
The 1,500 + pumpkins, gourds, fruits, veggies, etc. people grew. Quilts and crafts people made. Bake sale and contests. Even had antique cars and locomotives/steam engines there. Lot of fun.

I'm with you Jim. I'd rather hang out in the barns with the animals.
When Dave and I were dating it shocked him how much I loved the barns with me being "me" (eye roll). He'd tease me and call me his barn goddess and say I was the only woman he knew who had designer made boots specifically to be worn only when one goes to step in horse poop. (They were a very old pair of equestrian boots I had worn to death but still looked half decent. I wore them with jeans and casual stuff, not my dress clothes any more.)

A lot of decent entertainers performed there too. You''d have to check the computer to see who but at night they had concerts and I know some pretty decent artists played. I'm not a fan of country but I know the Oakridge Boys were there one time. I think Charlie Daniels was too. A few pop and rock artists too.

I miss it. I haven't been to a good fair in years. Went to one out here. We won't go anymore.

Now they're turning them into political events handing out leaflets and pamphlets, kissing babies and shaking hands and voter registration drives. This is BOTH parties. BOTH pushing their agendas. To me this isn't the place for it. Isn't the point of fairs to get away from crap like this in life even just for awhile? Churches doing it too which disturbs me.
Cool if you want to say "This quilt made by the Quilting Circle of the XYZ Church Ladies Group" on the plaque displaying it. Why do you have to say, Award for best quilt give to Suzy Jones, a member of the ABC church? Or each entry will say, Brenda Brown entered quilt blah..blah..; she is a member of 123 Church. Quilt presented by the Ladies at WWW grocery store: 3 members of AAA church; 2 of BBB church, etc.
IT ISN'T A CHURCH SPONSORED EVENT! BUT I've seen this on the entry sheets below the quilts next to the people's names and on plaques and awards. Why? What does that have to do with a non church sponsored quilting competition?

Dave and I mostly avoid the fairs and festivals out here for another reason. You already got people pushing politics and religion...then you got guns! O.K. we got second amendment rights blah..blah. Fine, cool with that.
BUT I...TTC.. don't care to be in a place where all at once you got 2 adverse political parties passing out literature, churches making it known who their members are and ARE NOT, alcohol being served, tons of people who do push, shove, can't line up properly, tired screaming babies, out of control over excited young kids running into you, adults who get mad when you ever so politely say something, rowdy teens and college kids, all the heat (It's Arizona and still 100 degrees), etc. AND THEN you add people who can openly carry and carry concealed weapons and do so with great zeal.
To me, in my mind, that is not a good mix.
Doesn't mean something will happen. Just sets the stage for something potentially happening that could have unpleasant consequences. We avoid it.

Like I said, I miss a good fair or festival. Times have changed. NONE of these things were there before. It used to be a place folks went to just be folks and enjoy the best of what other folks had to offer. I now feel like I need my boots more to walk around the fair than I do for those barns. I hate thinking about what I could step in.
Are your events like this now?

Sorry to hear Kay got stung by a wasp. :( Much different creature than your user friendly bumble bee who pretty much wants to avoid you as much as you do it. Also a lot more painful and more severe in terms of reactions. I feel for her and fully understand her aversion. Hope she feels better.

Love the ornamental Garden pictures of the Japanese garden. One of my favorites. I'll have
to explain a lot of the symbolism with the trees, flowers and fish but I blathered enough.

Pic #1: Chinese Cultural Center near downtown Phoenix
Pic #2 &3 Beautiful lotus blossoms. Symbol of Buddha and enlightenment. Its pristine beauty endures even though it grows in mud. Thus it is seen as the symbol of an enlightened mind and pure soul.
Pic #4. One of the many visually pleasing portals around the grounds
Pic #5 Koi.

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