where are all the funny, laughing, giggling people?

SE Houston (Hobby), TX(Zone 9a)

Ok. Here's my contribution to evoke a few smiles for today (ya'll mighta heard this one before):

Little Johnny was failing his math class miserably, so his mother enrolled him in the afterschool tuturial down at St. Michael's Catholic Church.

The next day, Johnny raced through the door, made a beeline for his bedroom, and finished ALL his math homework long before dinnertime. This went on day after day without fail. And, his mother noticed that Johnny's math scores had zoomed up considerably.

Well, she couldn't stand the suspense anymore and one evening she stopped him in his tracks before his usual room zoom, to find out what was making such a difference in his progress.

"Johnny," she asked, "you're making such WONDERFUL grades in your math class." "What's so different about St. Michael's? " Is it that you really like your teacher, Sr. Magdalena?" "No," said Johnny. "Well, is it the other kids in your class?" "You must really like studying with them?" "No," said Johnny. "Well, what's so different about St. Michael's that's causing you to do such great work?"

Whereupon Johnny replied,"I thought this was gonna be just another math class." "But, when I saw that man hanging up there on that plus sign, I knew they were serious!" ^_^

Fate, TX(Zone 8a)

gymgirl i wasn't smart enough to get what that joke meant at first. but then i got it. lol. now in my day........how old are you?...........we woulda told that out of ear shot of the grown ups. turns out my son jack is sort of like johnny. he needs a graphic reminder from time to time that his life won't go well if he doesn't have a little output.

jack even got put in 6 flags jail last time we went. he was ejected from the park and banned for a year. for running on the train tracks after being asked not to. and that is one of the milder things he's done all in the span of just a few months. what is it with 7th grade that makes these kids nuts?

elizabethtown glad you joined us. bring it on girl.

Southlake, TX(Zone 8a)

I am a Math and Science tutor for 7 grade on up. Should I be taking a crucefix to my study sessions?

loved it bring it on.

SE Houston (Hobby), TX(Zone 9a)

Whew!

College Station, TX(Zone 8b)

I got one, I got one!!!!! When my daughter was little like 5 or 6 she loved all things shiny and colorful. So one evening we had gone to Krogers pharmacy. While I was waiting for my prescription she had wandered a little ways from me looking at some things on a counter. Pretty soon I heard her say in a loud voice "Mommy, this is soo pretty I want this. I gotta have this" She picked it up and was waving it around and came walking down the aisle and said loudly "Mommy, I NEEEEEED this" The stock boy nearby almost fell on the floor laughing, people standing nearby were snickering. I couldn't get that pretty purple foil wrapper out of her hand fast enough. It was a condom. I could have died. lol

Houston, TX(Zone 9a)

Ahh, Anne, the joys of children, eh? Can't they just embarass the pants off you on ocassion?

My grandsons were over here the other day and when their parents came to pick the little dears up, they were very tired and cranky (the kids, not the parents.....well, maybe both). My son tried to get the boys, age 3 and 4, to put their pj's on before they put them in the car, thinking they were so tired they'd likely go to sleep on the ride home. The 4 year old backed up and looked at his dad and said "Do I look stupid? I'm NOT falling for that again!" I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I mean, what could you say to that? They finally loaded them up, as is, and left. I don't know if they ever got pajamas on them that night.

Fate, TX(Zone 8a)

crow those kids know so much because they must have been around 7th graders. awful detestable age from my experience. lol.

and anne i wanna know the whole story. what happened next?

College Station, TX(Zone 8b)

just took it from her put it back and got out of store as quickly as possible. lol

Desoto, TX(Zone 8a)

Not so funny unless you were there to hear it, I guess. Great-Granddaughter is 2 1/2 and her favorite express now is vewy, vewy cool. Don't know where she picked it up.


Tolleson, AZ(Zone 9a)

Ladies thanks for all the laughs. Crow that is too funny, I love when my 5 year old tries to be so adult.

Austin, TX(Zone 8b)

To 'esplane.......my DD lives on a very small quiet street a couple of blocks behind Barton Creek Mall. Teens like to cut thru fast to a main thoroughfare on their little street short-cutting from the mall. One day, a friend of mine had stopped by my house to pilfer plants. My DD and DGS then stopped by later. We live on a rather quiet street with no traffic. All of a sudden, a car comes careening up the hill and shoots past all of us. My, then 2 1/2 yr old DGS yells, "Slow down you Jack#$%!" I missed it because I'm yacking with friend.....but she doesn't. Friend says, "Did I hear what I thought I did?" To which I reply, "What?" Just in time to hear DGS say it again as the same car comes back down the street. There was no mistaking what he said...and I looked at my DD, a little perplexed. She turns beet red and tells us she had gotten so mad at the teenagers cutting thru their street, that she'd taken to running to the end of the yard and yelling at them...not knowing "big ears" was taking it all in.
We know watch everything we say....including calling those bad, bad teens...jackalopes....now. I also have had to clean up my act and stop referring to people who cut me off as .....#4$%^^#'s when he's in the car with me.

Austin, TX(Zone 8b)

Crow.. forgot to say, I sent your pj story to my DD...and she appreciated it as much as me!

College Station, TX(Zone 8b)

Oh yeah, little pictures definitely have big ears. When my son was a little over 2 yrs. old his grandmother was babysitting him one night. Mom loved to watch Dynasty. So ds was in his high chair "watching" Dynasty when Joan Collins called some guy a b*****d. Without missing a beat son picked up his spoon and started beating it on the table saying b*****d, over and over again. How they know exactly which word we really wish they hadn't heard is a mystery.

Hagerstown, MD(Zone 6a)

Love the stories, ROTFL over the crucifix/math concept. Envisioning the PJ parents bustin' 4yo and the 5yo in need of the pretty purple packaged condom -- wow! hahaha laughing all the way to bed.

Houston, TX(Zone 9a)

When the DGS's father was about 6, he came running in the house to tell me to "Come quick, Momma. Me and Chris caught a turkey and we want you to cook it." I couldn't imagine what these two had "caught" in a suburban Houston neighborhood that they thought was a turkey. Imagine my surprise when I went out with them to find they had chased a peacock into the neighbors garage and trapped it there, waiting for me to come get it and cook it! Lord, the things this child got up to when he was growing up. This is the same kid who "planted eggs" wanting to grow baby chickens and wanted to know how many shrimp we could boil in it when the new hot tub went in. If it's true that you have to be "payin' for your raisin' " then he's got a lot to deal with with his two boys. :)

Crow

Oh, love the "slow down you jackass" story.

Desoto, TX(Zone 8a)

Crow, is your son an Aggie by any chance? Old story of Aggies planting baby chicks and not a one came up.

Houston, TX(Zone 9a)

Lou, no Aggie. Just a poor city-boy Texan. When I came home from work and saw him watering a spot of dirt where he'd dug the grass out and I asked what he was growing (I thought he'd planted pepper seed) he said he was growing chickens. I patiently explained that chickens came from eggs and he couldn't grow them that way. He got all indignant and said "I know that. I PLANTED eggs!" I had a really hard time not falling over laughing. I decided I needed to get this kid out of the city more often.

(Phyllis) Flint,, TX(Zone 7b)

hey gang tell me anyone know of a good place to get pots?
I need to get about 37 2 1/2 inch on the bottom pots to use in the lace baskets for the wedding and my time is running out. LOL

Desoto, TX(Zone 8a)

Michaels, Hobby Lobby usually have small pots for crafters. Is there one in Tyler?

(Phyllis) Flint,, TX(Zone 7b)

yes both and I have looked and they don t have' them

Desoto, TX(Zone 8a)

friendly nursery owner that might order for you???

Desoto, TX(Zone 8a)

goes without saying you have searched on-line, right??

Fate, TX(Zone 8a)

could you not make those little newspaper pots, maybe put a little plaster on them and paint them white? you could paint them with something that could seal out wetness.

(Phyllis) Flint,, TX(Zone 7b)

yep been looking online but the ones I did find were really too small ...may have to go wtih something other then a pot to put them in LOL

New Waverly, TX(Zone 8b)

What about Garden Ridge?

(Phyllis) Flint,, TX(Zone 7b)

oooo is that a store in Houston area?
I'm gonna be in Houston Humble area weds thru Saturday stayin at my daughters apartment and helping with the AFS exchange student arrivals

Fort Worth, TX(Zone 8a)

99 cent store in FW had some small pots last time I was in there.
Don't know about your area, but the Garden Ridge in FW and one that my friend in Georgia goes to are all but empty. They are carrying a lot more furniture and a lot less of everything I used to go to GR for. It looks like they are getting ready to file for bankruptacy or have been bought out.
Hobby Lobby or Michael's would be a good place maybe.

New Waverly, TX(Zone 8b)

Here's a link to their website.........

http://www.gardenridge.com/

They used to have a lot of craft and floral. I haven't been there for a while, but we bought most of the floral supplies for my daughter's wedding there. You might consider some small clear vases instead of pots. Very classy wrapped in lace and tied with mini ribbon or some of the small rosebuds in the colors of your daughters wedding, and very simple. Wish I was closer, I love to do things like that.

Buffalo, TX(Zone 8b)

Phyllis, does it matter whether they are round or square?

Charlene

(Phyllis) Flint,, TX(Zone 7b)

I'm gonna have to find the store when I am in Humble this next week and check it out ...man a glider for under $100 I have wnated one since we got here LOL...mmm maybe I should be playing the lottery to win money to go mad shopping hahahahahahaha

I did find some today online but not sure if the size measurements are the right size have to wait til Monday for a rep[y from them ..they are 21 cents a pot

Char square or round no difference just the bottom can't be over 3" and 2 1/2 bottom fits good.
and all the same if that makes sense.
Just want to put a couple plants together in them to look nice and ned them to be cheap as I am going to have to find plants and buy them too

New Waverly, TX(Zone 8b)

Phyllis, the 99 Only store has small plants! I'm not cheap, but somtimes I squeak when I walk!

(Phyllis) Flint,, TX(Zone 7b)

i dont think the one here in Tyler does will look and see before i head to Houston this week other wise will have to check down there maybe lol

Dallas, TX

Kim are you still around? I have been looking for you. Sedric's vet told me to tell you if you decide to come to Dallas, come see them. ... seriously!
Sedric has Diabetes, his glucose count was 464. I give him 4cc of insulin twice a day. His face stays in the water bowl and he floods the litter box. He is back to his mischievous ways, but he eats constantly and anything.
He has also learned that when he gets loud, I come running ... so when he dont see me ... he screams this horrible sound ... he look terrible. They shaved the back of neck so I could see how to give him his shots.
oh ... but I love him so ... He is all I have .. Wednesdays we go to the vet to get more blood work ... if only he will stop drinking all this water and flooding the litter-box :( we will just have to deal with it.
Anyway Mama jack this is whats going on with me. Do you still see Dawn? I have been trying to contact her ... I miss her.
Phyllis What has been going on with you? I dont frequent Facebook too much anymore ... I just dont have time ... I miss seeing your smiling face. lol
So what are y'all looking for at the 99Cent Stop? you dont really expect me to start reading this thread from the beginning do you? LOL

Fate, TX(Zone 8a)

dawn wasn't doin' good the last time i saw her as she was sick. but she's prob. recovered by now. she has lost a lot of weight. to be healthy for her kids. her heart is so pure. but turns out that dawn pretty much looks stunning. really pretty lady with a sweet heart. her kids are doin' good. kati is exceptional let me tell you. she has so many talents. and next swap yall need to hear that girl sing. we'd prob. have to offer her a lot of money to get her to do it though. lol. robert is involved with scouts and video games. they're all real sweet to each other. 'cept when they're mad with each other. tehe y'know i think they are adjusting back into the strong loving family they always were.

(Phyllis) Flint,, TX(Zone 7b)

I'm here Sylvia LOL
been busy workin on trying to stay up on the weeds, keepin things green as much as possible as my daughters wedding is coming up soon Sept. 5th.
the last 2 weeks I've been going into work and helping train new drivers we have 5 that needed do take the driving test for the school bus and happy to say that everyone of them passed the test on the first try.

What we are talkin about is I need about 36-37 (have to go count again) 2 1/2 inch bottom measurement pots to go inside the lace baskets I made for on the tables for the wedding.

Josephine, Arlington, TX(Zone 8a)

Phyllis, how about plastic cups in the color you want, or styrofoam cups wrapped in foil?
They have those in many sizes at the grocery store and could make your life and lot easier.
Josephine.

Desoto, TX(Zone 8a)

There are even clear cups at places like "Party Place". Good idea, Josephine.

(Phyllis) Flint,, TX(Zone 7b)

If the pones I found online aren't the right size then I guess i am going to go wtih some type of cup instead

thanks Everyone for all your help

Dallas, TX

Oh Phyllis it sound lovely, be sure to put the pictures on Dave's as you have been preparing this for a while. are those plants still blooming? Is this your only daughter? This the one thing I regret not having a child/girl is arranging the wedding, probably a good thing, I would end up in the poor house. lol
we got 99cent stores on every corner here, I wish i knew exactly what you were looking for.
Barb ... Dawn is a pretty girl for sure! I told her that when she was complaining about the guys hitting on her right after her husband passed.:) Her Husband was a good looking man too ... Lord I hope she hurry and find peace and contentment. My heart just goes out to her ... so much happen to her at one time. She has really been on my mind ... I even sent her a batch of ferns ... I guess she probably wonders why ... just tell her it was because I had them to give. I am glad Robert is doing ok ... I was really concerned about him ... I never knew Katy could sing though. So do you think she will be at the next swap Barb ... I hope so.
Phyllis I wish I had given you some of these ferns in time, they would fit in with some of your arrangements for sure...
Sheila ... you will never believe what Greg did ... he usually come over on fridays and help me out, cleaning the litter box and stuff. Well the litter was still in the the car. I notice he had changed the container so I asked him did he get the litter out the car ... meantime I am looking in the litter box an its all brown ... I take the top off and you wont believe what he had put in there.... A 35.00 bag of cat food! ... so I decide to put it back... then discovered he poured the remaining litter in there too ... so I thought I might be able to rinse if off or something ... too late ... Sedric had already made a visit! I was never so upset! He has been doing that job for months...oh God whats next?

(Phyllis) Flint,, TX(Zone 7b)

some of the plants are blooming some are getting ready to bloom again who knows what will be blooming come the wedding
This is my oldest child I have 3 ....2 girls 1 son.... the other 2 are up north one in Wisconsin and the youngest my son ( in Illinois) will be here for the wedding as far as I know

I have yet to get the plants to use in the baskets lol.....

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