Compassion for Handicapped Gardeners # 7

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

Here is the new thread. I hope it has as many posts as the last did.

Ozone, AR(Zone 6a)

The other one was getting a little long. Thanks leaflady. I started a thread wishing you a happy birthday,but may as well wish it here too. Have a great day. Knowing you, you're going to work all day.
Nita, DD from Texas is coming down today to stay awhile. This is going to be fun for me.

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

Have a wonderful visit with your DD. With families so separated by distance now those visits become more precious.

I'm not sure about how much I will actually do today. Yesterday was a long day and I feel the need to rest my body. Tomorrow we have an anniversay reception to attend in the late afternoon. Since we will already be in town we may try to stay in for evening church services. Time will tell.

We still have grapes to pick and process. Not a big crop this year but better than nothing at all . The fungus ruined a lot of the crop before Holly(DIL)sprayed for us. Frankly, if we don't harvest the rest of the crop we will still have enough to last for the year as I have lots left from last year. So the birds may get to eat dried grapes this winter.

The pear tree is loaded for the first time this year. It's about time too. That tree is nearly 10 years old!! Varying opinions on whether or not Dutchess is self pollinating has protected it from being cut down because I didn't have another pear tree for about 3 years. The first one I got died and I was remiss in replacing it . I CAN DO pears and apples at the same time because I have Sheila(oldest DD)living here to help me. The Braeburn apple tree is loaded too.

GODS bless and keep each of you.

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Yay for your harvest! I made a big betch of salsa yesterday but it's kind of wet.

Pembroke Pines, FL(Zone 10a)

I am going absolutely "nuts" just resting and not being able to work outdoors because of the heat. Doctor's orders because on 6/6 while mowing my lawn in 95* heat I had a heart attack. Fortuneately for me I had an M.I. in 98 and was very familiar with the chest pain.
While mowing, my legs were feeling weak and so was the rest of my body so I stopped and went inside and sat in my A/C and recliner but within minutes I started to feel pressure in my chest and dialed 911 and they were here in six minutes and I was in the hospital within twenty minutes which saved my life. The doctors there complimented me on my calling 911 immeadiately or the results would have been very different. So I have another stent in me. This sitting around has put on 12 lbs as I am not allowed to lift anything and you tell me a gardener that doesn't have to lift? Well anyway the EBs that I use will allow me to continue gardening and I just picked the last of my delicious Mickeylee watermelons which my son carried in side the house for me. Got my tomato seedlings started a two weeks ago and getting ready for the new season. Hope it is a cool one?

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Booo, poor Ted. Hooray that you acted fast - I bet if my dad had gotten to the ER in 20 min. he wouldn't be in a nursing home doing word search puzzles today. (He had a stroke.)

Ozone, AR(Zone 6a)

tplant, glad you acted fast too. It's amazing how many people deny their chest pains are anything important.
My DH had 3 heart attacks(over a 20 year period) before the last one took him.
You could get someone to set you up some plant containers or raised beds and make your gardening easier. I could'nt give up gardning either even if it came down to a lone pot of African Violets.

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

TPlant, I'm so thankful you acted promptly and got the help you needed on time. It sounds as tho you have a good 911 system where you live.

Give up gardening? I'd rather be dead.No joke, I would.

GOD bless & keep each of you.

Pembroke Pines, FL(Zone 10a)

Thank You so much everyone for your concern for me and your very kind words! It does mean a lot to me as Dave's Garden are my really true friends even more so than those around me. Strong words but very true. Anyway , don't forget, I do most (99%) of my gardening in earthboxes or EBs as I call them so it makes my work very easy and I will never ,ever mow my lawn again. I will leave that to my son although he needs a push once in awhile to get the job done as he is so involved in his model plane and helicopter flying at our local park with his other club members. If I could afford it I would hire a lawn service but I've lost so much money in my retirement plans that I can just about keep my head above water so to speak.

Ozone, AR(Zone 6a)

I hear you about keeping your head above water. I'm afraid the gone south economy has hurt most of us. But i have faith things will get better. I've cut back on electricity and water and propane useage and it has'nt hurt me. Winter might be different tho cause i do not like the cold and when it's 30 degrees outside 65 is COLD. The one thing i would'nt do is cut back on hotwater heater temps. Water has to be hot to be sanitary.

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Vickie, you'll be in your new house by then, right?

Ozone, AR(Zone 6a)

Carrie, scraps is in the new house. I'm in a mobilr home on top of a mountain.
I know i'm always getting things off topic. but i loveto share things i come across. So-o-o-o
I have a few live webcam sites i like to go to. One is the Lick Astronomy observatory in southern Cal, I was just there and the Cal wild fires have closed them down but they still have cams watching the fires.
Their link is
http://www.cham.gsu.edu/CHARA/fire.php Sorry guys, They just took the live sight down and have an old picture up.
I think the telescopes have been saved tho. This observatory is over a hundred years old.

This message was edited Sep 2, 2009 5:48 PM

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

I'm glad to hear Scraps is in the new house. They have worked so hard to finish that project.

I won't get off topic because I don't want to bring the house down again. That is why I don't come here often any more. Can't talk freely so I just don't post.

GOD bless and keep all of you.

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Oh, baloney, I'm sorry, Vickie, of course you're not scraps, who is in the new house, or almost. I didn't know you lived in a mobile home! That used to be one of my romantic girlhood notions - to live in a mobile home - that was really mobile! I didn't know then, that they were so often rooted to the ground.

leaflady, I wish everyone felt equally welcome here. I know it doesn't work that way, on any forum. There are always the talkers and the lurkers and the quiet folks who don't say much. I'm sorry you don't feel you can be yourself.

Ozone, AR(Zone 6a)

leaflady, I've been racking my brain the best way to tell you, You and your ideas are always welcome and wanted here to us. You have left invaluable info here to help all of us. We are a group and i really really want us to stay that way.
If you just want to back off for a little while.....ok but please don't leave us for long. I feel we're like a blooming flower. Together we make a strong beautiful whole. But when one leaf wilts it leaves a vacuum for the rest.
love ya leaflady,
Vickie

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Well said!

mulege, Mexico

I've been away as our town got hit by a Katrine-like hurricane. They say it's the worst in history. I was on my way home when it hit. Took me four days to go the last sisty miles. Had much help from Mexican people.

Many homes and business lost completely. Others are still digging out.

The time and mony spent on my house paid off, as did the fact that I bought on high ground (I've done disaster relief work after floods and hurricanes). Tree branches down but my roof held. Some water under doors but nothing flooded.

Thinking of all of you and hoping all is going well with everybody. More when we're more recovered.

katie

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Oh, goodness! Our thoughts and prayers are with you Katie, and we're all very grateful and glad you are safe!

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

Katie, I'm so sorry to hear about the hurricane that caused so much damage and pain to those who lost so much. I'm also very thankful you are ok and that your home is more or less saved. May GOD bless and keep you.

Ozone, AR(Zone 6a)

Katie, sorry about your tragic storm but thankful you and yours are very well.
Is there anything americans can send or do to help everyone? Sounds like roads are pretty bad. Is there anykind of an airstrip operational nearby?
Our prayers and thoughts are with you. Anything else we're capable of doing. We'll do too.
God keep you and your friends and neighbors safe.
Vickie

mulege, Mexico

Thank you all. We are coming back. The electric company had to put up all new poles to my little suburb which is about two miles from town - all the old ones were taken out by the hurricane. They worked night and day and we have electricity again. Don't know when we'll get water and phone back.

There's not much to do for those who are not here. Mexicans have learned not to rely on outside help. I talked to the man who was head of Red Cross here for eight years and he said Red Cross only gives what they have collected from an area. Would guess there's someone taking whatever International Red Cross sends as we aren't getting much here. Very different from the States where I've worked with Red Cross on several disasters.

Tony and I are still doing some clean-up, also moving ahead on some improvements.

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

katie

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Yikes! You are ABSOLUTELY in my thoughts and prayers. No electric, water or phone? I guess it would be worse if it were snowing, which it usually is doing up here, when essential services are out - but then it's a catastrophe, getting lots of national and DG attention. Hugs to you and Tony!

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

Katie, may you find the strength to get thru this catastrophe. I gather you are a permenant resident of Mexico and intend to stay there? I know little about the Red Cross personally but there is a woman at the thrift store who does disaster relief. I know Red Cross collects a lot thru the stores here. I have heard terrible accounts of poor management of donations in other countries. So sad.

GOD bless and keep you and yours.

SE/Gulf Coast Plains, AL(Zone 8b)

KatieBear, so glad you are okay. You are in our prayers.

Ozone, AR(Zone 6a)

Prayers still going out for you all katiebear.

Ozone, AR(Zone 6a)

Know you are very busy and without a lot of things. Want to let you know we're still with you in spirit thru all this and keeping this thread open for you. When you get a chance to come back online. God bless you and yours and keep you safe.
Vickie

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

Katie, I'm still thinking of you and praying for you.

I don't know much about sending items to other countries, especially south of the US border. I do understand it can be rather costly and maybe just money would be best. A friend of mine married a man from Guatamala an she told of the expense of mailing items to his family there.

GOD bless and keep each of you.

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

Vickie & Carrie, I went back and reread some of the posts. How sweet it was of you to ask me to not leave for long. How could I possibly do that to such wonderful friends? I get discouraged by life at times and that was a time of real stress and discouragement in my personal life. I just felt I couldn't take anymore attacks and put downs. It is almost over for now tho.

I had to get a restraining order against my DD who had been living with me. She has several mental problems and unbeknownst to me had stopped taking her meds back in the last of July. That is what caused all the problems between us that led up to me telling her to straighten up her attitude and behaviors or get out. She chose to leave. But in this state if a person has lived somewhere for 4 months and has had that address at the post office for that long they are then a legal resident and it is nearly impossible to get them out. Since she had left more or less voluntarily that day and turned in her keys as well as sending someone to pick up part of her personal belongings the next week a restraining order wasn't that hard to get the judge to agree to. I had to tell about the fights and her not taking her meds when I filed for it. She could have demanded a trial but she didn't. She is to come for the rest of her belongings as well as the food she bought in Aug. with her food stamps that I told her would not be eaten or used between 6 & 7 this evening. I told the judge I can't even go grocery shopping for myself very much because my cabinets and the freezer has so much of her stuff in it. I feel sorry for the woman who let her move in with her. I need to let her know about the 4 month rule tho she may already know it. I had to do this to prevent her from moving back in as long as she leaves my address as her mailing address and so I could get her belongings out of my home. Otherwise I would be legally bound to take care of them indefinately. The most I could have done is box them up and set them out in the yard but if the boxes were damaged by weather I would have to rebox them and anything damaged by weather or broken would have to be replaced or paid for by me. Before you befriend anyone, friend or relative, folks, check the laws in your state and county and protect yourself at all costs. I have learned a hard lesson. She has once again turned many in the family against me with her lies even tho they know how she has done this before.

Sorry to dump & vent like this, but you deserve an explaination of my attitude and behaviors.

I feel so sorry for Katie and those who live in the storm damaged area. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose every thing you hold dear as well as what we have come to consider basic neccessities of life like that. Our forfathers and mothers did without all these nicities but we are so dependent and accustomed to them that we can barely function without them. If we lose electrical power we would have no internet as well as other things. That would leave all of us on DG without the contact with each other we so enjoy and depend on. We have been so blessed to not lose that here. Our son and his family in Springfield,MO did for 3 weeks a couple years ago due to a bad ice storm. An area only about 20 miles from me lost it for a few days a couple years ago due to a tornado that went thru their area.

I need to get something done today. GOD bless and keep each of you.

Spokane, WA(Zone 5b)

Leaflady, so sorry to hear about your troubles. Mental illness is such a difficult thing to cope with and it must break your heart to watch your daughter go through these times. And at the same time you have to protect yourself and your family from the person who is ill. I'm sending you my thoughts and prayers. And glad you are here in DG where we can support you!
Jacki

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

Thank you, Jacki. We do have to protect ourselves. Most people have no idea what the laws are regarding residency, post office addresses, etc. In this state if a woman is pregnant you cannot evict her no matter what until she has delivered the baby. Then you can evict both of them!!

Ozone, AR(Zone 6a)

Leaflady you have my empathy too. I told this on another forum but did'nt here. My DD went thru this with one son and now another son. She had to get an eviction notice too for the first one and was supposed to for the second. Her problem is that she is an abused wife. This youngest son is following in his fathers footsteps. Both against my DD at the moment. That is why she ended up in the hospital. Her mind simply could'nt take anymore as well as the fact she is an alcoholic. She cannot remember anything from the day she entered the hospital untill she came up here a few days later.The doctor told us the amnesia is not due to withdrawel symptoms. I'm so terrible afraid she is going to break down again. Since she went back her voice sounds more depressed every day. Should she break down again. our family(aunt,cousins,sister and i) are going to court to get her away from there.
This son lived with me for several months a couple years ago. He forged some of my checks. and almost immediately was caught. I pressed charges and he was sent to prison for a couple of years. He is out and on probation now and living at home. She and her family were so angry at me for awhile. They thought i should have let him get away with it. I never would have done that, anyway the bank would not have refunded part of my money if i had'nt.

That is one of the things i had trouble forgiving. I was nothing but good to that boy ever. To steal from your Mamaw. What kind of person is that? I feel like i have forgiven him but it is my choice to not associate with him.
Leaflady you so did the right thing. MY daughter has chosen not to and will probably pay dearly healthwise because of it. I am truely proud of you and know how hard it must have been mentally to make that decision but you had sense enough and thought enough of your own well being to do what had to be done. I pray my DD will come to her senses also. God bless you and know that you did the only thing you could do.
Vickie

mulege, Mexico

Everything is moving along here. I'm so grateful that I was spared more damage. Sill have no water or phone but they are coming.

I am always sorry to hear about other people's problems with friends, relatives, etc. At the same time, I'm glad to know I'm not alone in having had people take advantage under circumstances where it seems unbelievable. I have the most trouble forgiving myself for being "stupid" and trusting them.

I'm so grateful for the friends I have here and elsewhere. Surviving the bad sones and letting them go seems to make room for some really good ones so, as they say, take the lessons and move on.

Someone is waiting to use the computer so I'll close for now.

Back soon.

Big, big hugs all around,
katie

SE/Gulf Coast Plains, AL(Zone 8b)

Leaflady, my most heart-felt prayers. One of my daughters struggles with a drug/alcohol problem and one of the young women who lived at Amargia had some sort of schizo-effective disorder. She was under 21 and not really capable of looking after herself so I could not evict her. I had to sign her in to the Behavioral Medicine ward of the hospital. It was a very expensive lesson for Amargia. She was the last of the young people to live here, needless to say. Iíve had a glimpse of what youíre dealing with. Take care of yourself. People who say a motherís love should always be unconditional and self-sacrificing donít know what they are talking about. That is sentimental foolishness. Such people need a reality check! There are times when ďtough loveĒ is the only way to get through.

That law about pregnant women seems backwards. You CANíT evict an adult female, but CAN put a helpless infant out on the street. That doesnít make much sense to me.

Hope conditions improve quickly there, Katiebear.

God be with you both. *Kay*

.

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Oh dear. We had to get a restraining order for my 15 yo DD this summer - because she is a minor, it had to be in my name against some guy I don't even know. Our story was bad, mostly because in Massachusetts "due process" requires that he be given a chance to defend himself. So we (DH, DD and myself) spent literally hours on each of 3 or 4 different occasions waiting our turn, listening to people plead civil cases, mostly R.O.s, before a variety of judges. Of course, you had the usual frail, frightened wife getting a RO against a big weight lifter who looks like he could break her in half with a glance.

But there some very interesting unusual cases that I really could have lived without. Such as a big muscular athletic guy wanting a restraining order against his ex-girlfriend. He says "she scratches me, she claws me, she beats me in the face and groin, and I'm a man. You can't hit a woman! I just want her to stay away from me! She's trying to provoke me. (Denied.) (We believed the guy.)

A really old, maybe in her eighties, lady is trying to get an RO against her 50 yo son. He has been mowing her lawn, taking care of her finances, doing EVERYTHING for her, he says. Meanwhile, behind his back, his mother has set up a secret trust fund for her illegitimate daughter!!! If his father were there!!! His father's dying words were "take care of your mother." Well, that's what he's trying to do! We can't hear his mother's testimony, she speaks in a very soft voice but is beautifully turned out in a pants suit and an up-do with a matching bow. (We can tell she hasn't bought any new clothes in 40-50 years, but that has no bearing on the case.) (The judge eventually rules for the mother, after a few exciting twists. In one, the son is explaining all the filial duties he has undertaken, mowing the grass, balancing her checkbook, I forget, and the judge says drily "yes, what any son would do for his elderly mother, so skip that part." Later the judge says 'now look here" and the defendant, the son, says "no, YOU look here!" The judge gets really mad; she has no patience for this guy already and he's pushed her too far. They get banished from the courtroom for disrespecting the bench! They get heard again a few hours later.)

Finally, it's our turn. This judge, who has been displaying her womanpower all day, now shows her soft side. "Wait, a minute, how old are you? How old is she?" "15" answers my DD. "OKAY, CLEAR THE COURT. THIS IS A MINOR. EVERYBODY HAS TO LEAVE!" We get sworn in, she's reading the complaint, the fact that this is our fourth time trying to get this simple "stay-away" order implemented. She sees that in fact, the defendant HAS been served with papers and opted not to show up.

She says if there's no imminent bodily harm ... and we explain that there is a parallel criminal investigation in a different district. (We all know that will go nowhere, but nobody says it;; if the guy is the suspect in a criminal investigation, it makes him more worth staying away from.) She tells DD to have more self-respect; this ultra-super-powerful woman tells DD the same things which we, a mere Mom and her DH, had been telling her all summer. That was great.

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Gosh, I had to stop because DH got home. Anyway, anyone who must deal with courts has my sympathy. It would be great if we could all just get along, and it's horrid when we don't. To have to resort to the court system or the police to help us is embarrassing, humiliating... I dunno, it makes me feel more disabled, does that make sense?

Leaflady, and Kay, and Vickie, each of you has my deepest respect. I know what you're going through or have gone through is hard and that you are strong enough to make it through or you wouldn't be here. Katie, I hear where you are too - been there, done that.

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

Thanks you, Vickie, Kay, Carrie, & Katie for sharing your stories with me and the others. Until we speak up we have no idea what someone else is going thru. I have now learned that I truely do have kindred spirits here. That means a lot. Especially when you support my decision and my family doesn't seem to. Everyone at the cafe' and most of the workers at the store support me and don't understand why my children don't understand that I have to protect myself to the utmost.

This was my long day of the week and I am tired but not sleepy. I loved every minute of this day tho.

I'm going to get myself to bed before too long. GOD bless and keep each of you.

Lena, MS(Zone 7b)

Hello Everyone, from scraps, I am in the new house and finally back online. We dropped our house phone and got a satelite from WildBlue for internet service which will be faster I hope. So far so good. I will be unpacking for a year I think at the rate I am going now. I have finally hung a few pictures on the wall and planted a few pansies and mums which all make it feel like home. I have missed you guys all so much. I did not have anyone to vent with when things were not going well or to share the good things going on here either. I love sleeping here because this house is out in the woods and It is so quiet at night that I am sleeping much better now. It is amazing how much better you feel with a good night's rest. I will have to find time to go back and read up and see what you guys have been doing while I was without internet service. Have you guys been good? or naughty ? Gotta run for now for I have to make myself get some work done but I will check in and see what you guys are up to soon. Love and Prayers, scraps

Hughesville, MO(Zone 5a)

So glad to see you back, Scraps. It sounds as tho your life has been interesting lately but with a very good ending. Yes, good restful sleep is so healing and rejuvenating. I'm so glad you are getting some lately.

Since you own both houses you can move at your leisure with no deadlines. You may even choose to leave some items in the old house. Use it for a storage place, lots of room.

GOD bless and keep each of you.

Milton, MA(Zone 6a)

Oh scraps, we've missed you. I'm glad you're back. This is (hopefully) the last week that DH has to work a split shift, with some early mornings and some late nights. I'm looking forward to sleeping better too! I'm so glad you're finally in your new house that you've worked so hard for!

Lena, MS(Zone 7b)

Thanks guys for the welcome back. I feel so rushed because we want to sell the old house to be moved. It is on his dad's property and he is ready for it to be gone from there. I still have to go through all mom's stuff in our storage shed. Her stuff has been in there since she had a stroke about 4 maybe 5 years ago. I have to do something with it all because we need to move the shed. She will never come out of nursing home to use the stuff again because she can't take care of herself. But I hate to get rid of her things and yet I cannot keep everything because I just do not have the room for it. She talks alot about when she comes home but I just feel it will never happen. Anyway there is still alot to do around here to get it all finished but I guess you never get it perfect. I am so ready to be done indoors and get outside. I have missed you guys and I am glad to be back.scraps

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