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My mom doesn't have medicare part B

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Never know Kyle, they might be. I guess it depends on if you can have a meeting of the minds. Have you had any interest?

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

I'm starting to put out feelers and doing searches. Who knows?

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Let us know how it goes. Good luck.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Sometimes churches are good places to put out the word.
You don't have to belong to the church but can just call their
office or stop by. Many times there are people who have
a need that might be a match for you.

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Thanks, all, for the helpful advice. I really DO appreciate it. Kyle

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Hi, everyone. My mom has had her fourth incident of incontinence. My sister said I need to start feeding her a blander diet. I would appreciate any suggestions on a diet that will help a person not to have an upset stomach.
Thanks. Kyle

p.s. I have been really down for a while. She put one of my kittens into my truck with the windows rolled up and I didn't find him until it was too late. The weather here is horrendous. I am still upset about it.

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Kyle, I saw this posted, you might try it: (not to sure about bland, you might run it by your sister)

Dr Sears, the famous pediatrician, has an article in this months Prevention Mag. Aug 2010. He writes that he developed this smoothie recipe while recuperating from colon cancer 14 yrs ago. He describes it as good for the gut & mental clarity. Well, mental clarity is a need of mine now that I am 62 yrs old. Foggy memory and sometimes only a brick wall when I attempt to 'recall'. I have been off sugar/ high carbs for about 3 months now & feeling mucho better w/out those things in my diet.
I take a high protein low carb (powder)mix in the AM. I am interested in this recipe but it has way too many fruits/sugars for me. Please comment on this smoothie recipe and what are the source/ingredients for the 'mental clarity'? I have all of the ingredients on hand but will not use that much fruit/fructose. I do not process sugars of any kind. thank you. mary

Dr Sears Smoothie for mental clarity & your gut

8 oz green vegetable juice or 4 Tbsp power greens w/ 8 oz water
8 oz carrot juice
8 oz pomegranate juice or grape juice or milk
2 c unsweetened greek style yogurt
1 c blueberries
1 c fruit frozen or fresh strawberries, papaya, mango, pineapple
2 kiwi fruits
2 oz tofu
c ground flax seed
c wheat germ
2 tsp cinnamon

Blender makes 64 oz


Optional
Dates, raisin, figs for xtra sweetness 1-2 T peanut buter
Milk instead of juice
Fresh spinach
Multi vitamin/mineral protein powder


PS, please don't allow yourself to let "bland" be flavorless. i.e. use herbs and I always hated it when they left out salt. It doesn't have to be a lot, but don't make it so dull she won't eat it.




This message was edited Aug 13, 2010 6:03 PM

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Whew! To be honest I will never try that elaborate of a recipe. But I will use salt. My sister said 'no spicy foods'. I do give her one Ensure a day though.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Kyle, I work in hospice and will pass along to you that incontinence
often comes with mental decline. In the elderly ward where I work
all patients are diapered even though a few can, with assistance,
use a portable commode next to their beds. In decline, the patient
simply forgets she has to go or doesn't become aware until it's
too late. We don't make changes in their diets or feed special
drinks other than an Ensure-type drink or yogurt for nourishment.
If she simply has diarrhea I wouldn't start giving her very complex
drinks or smoothies at this point. Fluids are very important but keep
things simple. If incontinence persists, please discuss it with her
doctor. It's important to keep him/her in the loop.

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

june, thanks for that info. What about reminding her through the day? Asking her if she needs to go? I did that yesterday. I had to take her and show her the bathroom and tell to sit on the toilet. I had to point it out and tell her exactly what to do.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Reminding her might be a good idea. If practical you might also
switch her over to Depends although they are expensive. Your Mom
is only 76 which is young these days so she may adapt to the
reminders but be resistant to the Depends.

You're on the right track and doing a good job under difficult
circumstances.

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

I don't think depends will solve the problem. She made it into the bathroom and then defecated all over the floor. My brother came over and helped me clean it because it just about ended it for me. He says he will help if it happens again. The future is looking very iffy.

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Kyle, talk to her dr. about that. Does she have diarrhea? Maybe she can't hold it. There are meds she can take if she is going so fast she has no warning. Maybe I am not saying this right.

Talk to her dr.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Kyle, that does sound like something you have to report
to the doctor. It may not even be diarrhea, just incontinence --
loss of ability to control bladder or sphincter muscles. It
comes with some diseases and with aging as muscles
lose their ability to contract and "hold it" until a toilet is
reached. There are meds that can help but they are not
always effective in the elderly.

Please accept assistance from your brother and perhaps
have him sit in on the talks with her doctor to discuss the
next steps for your Mom. I know you want to care for her
as long as possible but dealing with adult incontinence takes
a strong stomach and a lot of grit.

Start with a call to her doctor. You're not alone in this.

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

I called the doc today and left a message.

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Good. Keep on it Kyle.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Excellent, Kyle. Be very honest with the doctor about the difficulty
of the situation. I know it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling guilty
but there is no need for that. You are a wonderful son and doing
all you can.

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Thanks to you both. It's hard to know when the final straw comes. So I will have a professional tell me. I have started taking her to the bathroom whenever she wakes up.

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Things like that should help. Did you hear from the Dr?

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Not today. I will call again tomorrow. If I have to I will go there in person.

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Good for you.

Did your atty say what would happen if you have to put her in a nursing home and you don't have money to pay for it? Do they put a lien on her house? Probably huh?

Push on the dr.

Kyle, I think it would be a good idea for you AND your siblings to have another visit with your attorney. They need to be included in this decision. Also to see what you are up against.

This message was edited Aug 18, 2010 10:47 AM

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

A very nice lady from Adult Protective Services came out today. She is going to be a BIG help and has lifted a lot of weight from my shoulders. She is going to get in touch with the doctor. I plan to call the lawyer tomorrow.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Kyle, that is wonderful news! The APS lady is a blessing and
I'm delighted you are feeling some relief. Be sure to tell her
that!!

And be sure to tell the lawyer about the APS visit and everything
that was discussed. Hopefully your brother or other sibling will
go with you to the lawyer and share some of this responsibility.

Again, you are a good son.

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

We'll be there with you Kyle. Hope we can remember everything. That reminds me. You get out a paper and pen and start writing down any questions you have for the lawyer.

So happy you got the APS to help. Be sure you call your siblings before calling the lawyer and see when they would be able to go with you. You don't want to leave them out. That would not be fair to any of you.

You're on your way Kyle. Doing great!!

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Kyle - I'm just checking in to see how you're doing and to let
you know that you are in my thoughts. Please let us know
what's going on in your life and how your Mom is doing.

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Thanks for asking. Momma is doing a LOT better. I started paying more attention to her and talk to her more. It has made a big difference. I wasn't treating her like I should and I believe that is what made her so difficult to handle. Nearly all my stress is gone.
My problems were my own fault. I am hoping things continue as they are.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Don't go beating yourself up, Kyle. You're just learning and feeling
your way in the care of your Mom and there is no fault in that.
I will hold positive thoughts that things continue to go along
smoothly and that your stress level stays low.

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Kyle! So glad to hear of the improvement. Keep up the good work. You will never regret the time spent with your mom.

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Thank you, both.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Hi Kyle. Just thought I'd check in to see how things are going
for you. The holidays are always a challenge.

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

You have been in my thoughts too.

Jeanette

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Hi, Thanks for asking. Everything is pretty much on an even keel. Trazodone is the only thing that helps when she starts getting out of control. A female friend of my brother's comes by to bathe her about once a week. And I have learned a lot. So all things considered it's going fairly well for now.

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Well, that sounds somewhat better than it was, but I kind of hear a tone of weariness in your statement?? Are you getting out at all? You really need to you know.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

I too hope that you are taking care of yourself, Kyle.
Being a caretaker is very fatiguing, not only physically
but mentally and spiritually. We really do care about
you so stay in touch and let us know if there is anything
you need.

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Yes, I forgot to mention I do have a friend. We go eat out a couple of times a week and we saw a movie yesterday. I am very happy when I'm with him. It makes a BIG difference.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Knowing that you have a friend makes me feel happy, Kyle.
Having someone in our lives makes a huge difference and
you deserve to have that happiness in your life. Good for you!

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Thanks. :-)

Northeast, WA(Zone 5a)

Yes Kyle, that is very nice. Happy for you.

Jeanette

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7a)

Kyle - check your d-mail.

Christiana, TN(Zone 6b)

Are you the gifter?

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