How to keep a healthy level of insanity

lagrange, GA(Zone 7a)

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if
they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Save all your junk mail and send it to other junk mailers in their prepaid envelopes .

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with
the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a
tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!",
I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address
book, even if they sent it to you or asked you not to
send them stuff like this.

Georgetown, TX(Zone 8a)

Jim, you have an evil streak!

lagrange, GA(Zone 7a)

Aimee LOL

Scotia, CA(Zone 9b)

If you really want to have a bit of fun try going to the grocery store and pick up a frozen turkey. Throw it in the air and yell Fly away, Fly away, I set you free! Look directly into the face of the next person and ask them to help you save the turkies.

lagrange, GA(Zone 7a)

Zany you wouldn't, I mean you didn't did you. That is so funny. Made me think about the time I was managing a grocery store and one of the employees came to me and said go to the frozen food section. A drunk came in and crawled up in the case with the turkeys and went to sleep.

Scotia, CA(Zone 9b)

:} Wouldn't I ? lol my son will still not go back to that store!

Pittsburgh, PA(Zone 6a)

Oh my,,soooo funny. I would LOVE to spend a day with you guys. It would be a blast!! Oh, the times I walked through the mall,,looking up. It amazes me how many people look up with you. Or the old laughing box in a bag routine. Oh,,very very funny. Definitely gonna pass that one around.

Georgetown, TX(Zone 8a)

Well, I really shouldn't tell this, because I'm normally regarded as rather too serious, but in my salad days, when my kids were young, we did act crazy sometimes. For a number of years, I worked in records at facilities for mentally retarded people, and several of my kids followed suit in various positions. The kids would volunteer at Halloween to lead the resident "kids" through the spookhouse or other things, and became well acquainted with their daily behavior. We all adopted some of the funnier habits of residents, and it was family tradition to get into a situation needing levity and invoke some of those behaviors. So in a long line at a checkout, when everybody was rude and impatient, my oldest son would put his hands up to his face like bars he was peeping through, as one resident did, and act like he couldn't talk, just make the sounds of Marcus, another of the residents. Other son would then start kicking his instep and making snorting sounds, imitating another resident. Pretty teenaged daughter would tug on my shirt and whine, "Can I have my numnum?". Youngest son would tug on the shirt of older brother and call him Mama, as our residents called everyone Mama, male or female. One of them would invariably act like he was trying to eat his fist. As a rule, other shoppers would sort of back away, and at just the right instant, one of us would snap back to normal, look around as if none of it happened, and ask a totally sane question of a stranger, like, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" As soon as the stranger responded, I would say, nasally as someone with a cleft palate, "hnank que berry munch". (Reactions varied widely.)

Scotia, CA(Zone 9b)

Ok Aimee you can join us shopping! Sledder I wonder if the malls across the country are ready for us!

Georgetown, TX(Zone 8a)

Uh-oh, this should get us more than our 15 minutes of fame. And hnank que for inbitin me.

Scotia, CA(Zone 9b)

Chew air berry velcomed!

lagrange, GA(Zone 7a)

Well Aimee you have an evil streak also. Thank God for the good side. The skipping one hit home with me. I like to embarrass my wife by doing crazy things in public. Once I went in a convienent store and when I came out I skipped to the car. I didn't know she had me on video.

Pittsburgh, PA(Zone 6a)

Zany, I'm game if you are. Bring it on... :) Here's a fun thing to do too... When a telephone solicitor (grrr) called one day, AngelSong answered the phone. They asked for either Mr. or Mrs. . . . . She asked who was calling and then suddenly said "well hi, how are you? I haven't talked to you for years. How's your mom and dad? And the rest of the family?" The solicitor didn't know what to say and they hung up on her.

Anything to make the day brighter and more fun. Life is way too short to be serious all the time.

Scotia, CA(Zone 9b)

OH! Telephone fun! I was waiting for DH to bring the car around at a mall in LA. A pay phone kept ringing ang ringing so I decided to answer it. Heavy breathing on the other end...I just held the phone for a minute and then said, Thankyou and hung up. Seconds later it rang again, More heavy breathing and the old what are you wearing routine, I said I was wearing spiked heels and hung up. Again the pay phone rang and laughing I answered it...What are you wearing with the heels he whispers....I answer that I think he should know that he was calling a pay phone and I would not be there to answer it again...He says Pay phone? and you answered it....Lady you are a pervert! And he hung up on me!!!!

Pittsburgh, PA(Zone 6a)

**giggle** Zany, I wonder if we are the only "crazy" people in the world? There's those "snooty" people who look at us like we're from another planet..maybe we are. But we're sure enjoying it!! What a better world this would be if everyone would just simply LIGHTEN UP!!! Smile!! It makes people wonder what you're up to! :)

Efland, NC(Zone 7a)

I believe ya'll are all KIN to me! I've done SO much of that stuff...from Rainman's habits to, to, well, ya all started when I was only about 12 yrs old. I took an old transistor radio (anyone remember them?) and taped a phone cord to it, stuck the other end of it into my belt, then just loved to go to the store, pull up the antenna and talk into the radio like a police, complete with the static sounds! It was great in the grocery store lines! And of course it was all done in a low voice as if I was on a "special assignment"! Hmmm...methinks I should do that again now that I'm all growed up!
And heaven forbid nowadays if someone should stop me and ask directions! "Yes'm...turn around and go to where Jeb's dog got hit back in '87 and turn right,then go to where the big acorn tree used to be...when ya get there roll your winder down till ya smell the spot where Bobo's choke got stuck and caused him to burn rubber on the gravel road..."etc.... Sorry folks, best I can remember right now!

Scotia, CA(Zone 9b)

ROFLOL Shoe! A couple of years ago I had an appointmet for a consultation at a clients home. The directions to get to their place were...Take the county road to the old highway and get off where the old drivein theater used to be. Follow that road about a mile to the fork and turn towards what used to be the Bradford place. When you see the brown cow in the field go left over what used to be the covered bridge and we are right there where the old schoolhouse use to be...Would you believe I actually found them and didn't get lost! I ended up doing their whole house cause no one else ever got there for an estimate!

Baker City, OR(Zone 5b)

On a slow day you could ride the elevator, just walk right in, stand facing the other people and start singing.
Stand on a street corner and point up to the top of a high building, ask passing people "do you see that?" When a crowd forms slip away and watch from a distance.
Get a buddy to help you with this. Walk opposite ways around a block. When you meet act like you haven't seen each other in years. When you've got a croud watching the "reunion" say "lets go watch the rest of the movie" and leave.

Pittsburgh, PA(Zone 6a)

Here's one AngelSong and I did recently. We both drove to the local mall (we met there). As we were leaving the crowded parking lot we were stopped at the red in front of her. I yelled out my driver's window the she almost hit me. I yelled that she was too close. I yelled that she was a horrible driver. The people around us thought I was using "road rage". The looks on their faces were priceless. But we sure thought is was fun! "T" :)

lagrange, GA(Zone 7a)

Sledder and AngelSong, bad, bad girls.
MaryE maybe theres hope for you. you didn't say you had actually done the deeds.

Pittsburgh, PA(Zone 6a)

Oh, but we did have fun. "T" :)

Newark, OH(Zone 5b)

A friend taught me the entertainment value of the "Honk, then Wave The Other Way" game. LOL - when you're driving, honk your horn at someone outside and then turn and wave in the opposite direction. We had whole categories of wavers: Full-wavers, half-mast wavers, wrist jerkers, non-wavers...It was a hoot.

You guys are hilarious!! When Howie and I left the JC Penney Outlet Store with him carrying the large roller blinds we'd purchased, I preceeded him yelling, "BLIND MAN COMIN', WATCH OUT - BLIND MAN COMIN' THROUGH!" He just rolled his eyes. Thought I'd never see his pupils again, poor man.

lagrange, GA(Zone 7a)

Funny GW. I haven't done this lately but I think I will tomorrow. Driveing down the road throw your hand up at every one you pass in the opposite direction.
I grew up in a small town and as you would pass each other on the sidewalk normally people would speak if they knew each other or not. I guess it might have something to do with southern hospitality also. My sister was real good at this and when she got married and moved to Los Angeles we told her she would be talked her self out the first day there just saying hi to everyone.

Ewing, KY(Zone 6a)

Ok this happened today. We went Christmas shopping. The we is my DD, DS and a friend of DD's and myself. Well I hate to shop with my kids they take forever and I don't like to shop to start with (yeah I know I am a woman and love to shop well not me...... I hate it!) Well DD was in a really good mood today and honking the horn at people etc. She warned me she was going to embarass me today. I thought well you go for it chick. lol Well in the stores she would get in the aisles and do the chicken dance.BUT she always did it when there wasn't to many people to see her.So I told my DS, and her friend that when we got in the middle of that mall where there was lots of people we would all do the chicken dance.. Well here we where walking down the mall and all at once we stopped and started dancing...everybody stopped and was pointing at us she didn't know what was going on until she truned around to see what everybody was looking at she turned about 3 shades of red and kept on walking..... She said I can't believe you did that..... lol Heck it was either have some fun or pull my hair out that she was taking forever in the stores. lol

Jonesboro, GA(Zone 7b)

True story. We had a good laugh when Dad was asked "where the ladies restroom" was and he thought they asked "where Delaney's restaurant" was. It was really hilarious to hear him prepare an answer, as he first asked "which way are you traveling?" My brother about choked on his food when he first realized that Dad misunderstood the question. The ladies were quite perplexed that they would have to travel 12 miles for relief. Dad was serious and helpful as he gave specific instructions and ended with "...when you cross the bridge you can't miss it on the right."

lagrange, GA(Zone 7a)

Azalea that would have to be a true story. No one could make that up. DOUBLE FUNNY

Jonesboro, GA(Zone 7b)

Yep it's true - My DH actually posted this cause it was his story not mine. It happened in the small family resturant that they owned years ago in Pa. so lots of people heard it. You should hear him and his brother tell it tho - they go into great detail about going down Rte 40, and on and on. They are a scream when they get together. Glad you liked it.

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