Best/Worse/What did you learn today? Everyone welcome, a thread where all are welcomed..

Victoria Harbour, ON


We moved from here:

Thumbnail by Bettypauze
northeast, IL(Zone 5a)

Happy Easter!!

Victoria Harbour, ON

Same to you and yours Deb

Itís a glorious sunshine day, wind isnít as strong as usual so was able to burn leaves, I smell like a smoke cooked Betty

Easter Bunny and his Mrs. just went bye along with many vehicles...even in an emergency Covid state without putting anyone in danger they are able to br8ng joy to the entire community..think they are doing every street.

Verona, ON

Happy Easter everyone !!

The sun is shining and it is about 48* here with a chilly breeze. I'll take it. My rhubarb is sprouting up but nothing else. I am worried about my Siberian Iris as they popped up when we had the warm spell.

Kai just can't resist getting into the swamps to chase the Canada Geese.

Thanks for the new room Betty.

(Linda Kay) Del Rio, TX(Zone 9a)

Thanks for the new thread Betty.

Happy Easter.

(Pat) Kennewick, WA(Zone 5b)

I've had tulips and other bulbs pop up only to get a little frozen... only damaged the tips but the plants survived.

Sam is 14 and a beautiful blonde young lady with brown eyes. I honestly do not know why the courts have not honored her wishes but forced her to visit her father. Maybe now that we have SECOND CPS finding the courts will make an appropriate finding & no longer force her to see her father. She met with police last night, I have not yet talked to her directly. I have been following the protocol to not discuss it and contaminate any of her statements.

I do not know what actions the father has implemented to attempt to keep Sam safe. Is he making sure she is NEVER left alone with this 18 YO step brother? Going forward, at the VERY least DD should not be at the residence when Sam visits. For parents to think their child is "Harmless" is a major case of denial. To think "there is nothing that can be done about it" is pure Poppycock. Regardless of the DD stepbrother, she does NOT feel safe with her father because of father's temper.


Pat, to "blow it off because he is DD" is SO wrong. It doesn't matter what the circumstances, he should have been taught a long time about what is appropriate and what is not. THAT much he could have been taught.

Betty - yes, there are great support agencies & friends in the area. As this is a small community, Bob's reputation (and hers) will be SHOT. He's still refusing Marriage counselling, but I gave him a list of what has to happen for me to leave (yes, I know - you'd advise against me being the one to leave, but he's said he won't and he's stubborn. My leaving does not negate my ownership of the home) and it's not going to be cheap for him to assume all the bills by himself. Told him, if he doesn't want this to go through, he knows what he needs to do but I don't think it's sunk in yet. I'm looking at a senior's apartment block in our community. I'm pretty sure they have vacancies. It would end up costing me $10 more per month, and I would take our ph# with me. He'd have to get his own, AND pay for his own cell(s), AND get a lot of the stuff switched over to him paying. He'll have to pay ALL my moving costs & DD. Should be interesting to see once he realizes that I'm serious. I expect a callback from the property manager for the apartments on Mon or Tues. Not sure if they're open on Easter Monday

(Pat) Kennewick, WA(Zone 5b)

If you do divorce, the house is in your name & he may find himself evicted! The RMCP may not be so nice after they figure out he was deceptive with them already once!

When I was still doing mental health counseling and parenting classes, obedience and expectations, just plain old manners were one of the things I stressed with parents. A special needs child does NOT get a free pass to be an unruly monster! According to Adam, Sam told him that one of the incidents happened RIGHT IN FRONT of the step mom and it doesn't sound like she did ANYTHING about her son's behavior!

The police report and CPS reports have been done. Now we wait for the outcome and the legal battle. It is not going to be cheap or fun, that much is for sure.

(Linda Kay) Del Rio, TX(Zone 9a)

Susan, praying you will be able to move back into your own home when this is said and done.
Pat, praying the authorities can keep Sam safe. Sad what she has been through.


I bought the home, but because he & I lived in it together since 2006, common property law says he owns it jointly with me. I have the proof that I bought it, but that's old news.
I found that he's still be slipping over to her place and I'm MAD. I want him OUT of my home. No more Ms Nice Lady.

Victoria Harbour, ON

Morning all..
Itís a sunny day in my neighbourhood, still in my mighty but have been working, I work while relaxed when in my nighty ..

Susan I certainly would not be the one to leave, you mentioned he couldnít afford to keep it going if you werenít there, he certainly could if she moved in with him..he sounds like a live struck teen..not a wonder you are at your wits end..I think I would have police walk him out, you have proof itís your home, let him find a place to live, find funds to fight in court for his no way would I be the one leaving and have to do the fighting..police would be first on my list of to doís

Pat these family issues cost a fortune in the courts for sure, she is of age to really express her wants and needs and court should take them as a priority in their all must be so frustrated.

Dianne, think we are enjoying same kind of weather..this week will be spectacular, think 66f on thursday..Kai seems so have found friends in the ducks, can smell swamp, bet you have to wash him down each time he comes in

I am ready to hang my bedding on the line, so love when you get into a fresh bed, have everything rehung in back patio, have vacuum out there to do rugs then I will wash all the glass top tabletops and wipe down cane and Iíll be thrilled, 3 decks done.

Iím tempted to put pump in pond just to empty so leaves can dry up, make it easier for when I want to clean it up..

Wonít go crazy though, a little each day

(Pat) Kennewick, WA(Zone 5b)

Betty, I hope you are right "a little each day" because the pain of not following that plan will be terrible!

Yes, it has been frustrating. Sam's father is an A$$. Manipulative and selfish, he does not put Sam's needs first. Like her SAFETY ought to be his #1 priority. Her happiness ought to be in the top 3 at least!!!

It's MONDAY, lots to do. Garbage day so I should be out there raking up more leaves & debry. GROCERIES if I want some choice in my food, clean litter & laundry. Marie said she saw my favorite pop on the shelves at Albertson. I have been unable to buy it in almost a year. Got to get a move on.


Betty - because Bob & I have lived in this home since 2006, he has as much right to be here as I do. Tried to get the locks changed on March 4th, but it's "common property" so the only way I can get him walked out is if he threatens me, He's canny & not about to do that.

Victoria Harbour, ON

Susan, Make his life hell then

Pat I was out for 1/2 hour and had enough
Just brought in my bedding and made my bed and now in couch

Las Vegas, NV(Zone 9a)

I had a zoom HOA Board meeting at 9am and went until 11:30. So the majority of my day was shot. I did some watering using the irrigation system. Today was also get the garbage out for tomorrow morning. That is done and all inside trash cans are emptied and clean bags installed. I have a load of clothes in the washer and will put them in the dryer before I go to bed.

Susan, of course he will stay. He cannot afford to go anywhere else. And you will have a hard time going anywhere and leaving him behind alone in your home. He will take everything and run.

Betty pleased to see that you are listening to your body. Our temperature today was 90. Then the wind showed up at 3pm. Just about impossible to keep anything hydrated with these temperatures and wind.

Gonzaga Basketball lost the NCAA Championship tonight so my son and grandson are going to very sad.

I have no appointments the rest of this week, so I will be catching up on my gardening chores.

Three different photos of same area, just from different angles.

Thumbnail by WormsLovSharon Thumbnail by WormsLovSharon Thumbnail by WormsLovSharon

I password protected my computer, and when I'm away from it, I put it to sleep.
I hide my purse with my debit card. I don't have a credit card.
He's pretty useless on the computer, but given time he could find my passwords.
I checked out cell & home phone account, and I have full authority, and should we split the accounts to 2 bills, only I can do it and I would have to give him permission to create his own account. Plus to set up a new cell phone account he would have to pay $45 per cell phone and he has 2.

(Pat) Kennewick, WA(Zone 5b)

He has 2 cell phones?? I only ever needed 2 when I was doing crisis work. If you don't mind me asking, why would he need 2? Is one for Canada & the other US? guess he will need to "tighten the belt" a little, huh? LOL

Victoria Harbour, ON

Morning everyone, going to be a high of 55 with rain moving in later in the day..still have 2 piles of raked I go do that and burn before the rain..

Sharon, sure wish I could be walking through those gardens, just breathtaking..
Sorry your son/grandsonís team lost, always next you also watch sports? How is HOA Board coming along with garden design as well as playground?

I was amazed at the baseball game the other night, thousands, some wearing masks, others not! Sure way to spread disease

Susan, you are making strides in keeping yourself , yes he is 1/2 owner by law BUT only entitled $$$ but he can be made to leave then fight for $$$

Karen are you enjoying your visit?

How is everyone else doing??

Tuesday....the only busy day of the garbage out by 7, some animal knows how to unlock latch on food recycling bin, what a mess..I will have to have Greg figure out something when he comes tonight.

Have pie crust made, once cooled I will make the chocolate filling.

Because Iím in so much pain other than burning leaves I will do nothing to aggravate
It so inside I will stay.., well almost nothing, might try embroidering towels for Darlene..that is just sitting watching machine stitch..

(Pat) Kennewick, WA(Zone 5b)

I hope everybody is doing GREAT. I didn't watch any of the games but I heard that game before last night was AMAZING!
I really was on a roll yesterday, I hope today can be as productive. I got the worst of the back patio cleared off. That job was not near as bad as I feared. The REAL accomplishment was getting my taxes prepared and filed last night!!! I HATE that job and it's DONE, done, done!!!
Now, if I can just get this printer working, and prepare the box for China, I will REALLY be pleased with myself. 2 pages long of custom forms are as bad as doing taxes.


cell phones - 1 is for talk/text, and the other has data so used for GPS. It's a tablet so makes it easier to read. He got a "deal" on it and sure likes his toys.
Betty - just $$? It's a buyer's market, and I do NOT want to sell my home anyway.

I got in touch with LegalShield, which is a low-cost law firm that only works via phone & email/snail mail. Used them before. For a set fee, they will do a limited # of contacts with you & give advice, but then you do any leg work & creation of letters, based on their advice.
I also got in touch with Senior's Outreach for advice & suggestions on who to talk to, such as counselling, etc. The coordinator of SO is a very nice & knowledgeable person. Hopefully Terry can come up with someone/something for me.

This message was edited Apr 6, 2021 9:01 AM

Victoria Harbour, ON

Afternoon all, decided to be kind to myself and just sit in couch with dr, Ho doing his thing and heating pad on..decided not to go out and burn.

Marie and Ted came over to do a few things for me, then hey asked if they could cut down a few little trees. That were dead, I had told her last year she could do above ground garden so guess they are planning their design, Iíve enough to worry about that I have to worry about a little piece of my land being used..

Have supper ready, chicken fried rice, scalloped potatoes, chicken wings, bbq ribs, peas, chocolate pie..enough to fill themselves and extra just incase Kyle comes or someone needs a container for lunch tomorrow.

Talked to my doctorís secretary, she will put me on his next round of home visits and will have pharmacy order the injection meds for shoulder and hips, likely if he comes within the next 2-3 weeks I will be on my 3 month schedule.

Tired tonight, will be telling greg and Mel itís their bedtime early and they will get the hint to go home

Victoria Harbour, ON

Hard at work they are

Thumbnail by Bettypauze

Light at the end of the tunnel. I told Bob that I'd contacted Kneehill Housing about a senior's apartment, and also a law firm. I told him that I would not be the one to move, he would. He agreed (wow!), saying that my desk (8ft long x 6ft tall) would be difficult to move, as would my piano (circa 1872 - upright grand), so if that's the reason he needs, so be it.
Also, he's agreed to counselling (one session only, he says, but I'm hoping he'll agree to more - one session doesn't even begin to fix things), after I asked him "does she mean that much to you?".
I think the fact that I'm going through channels & processes is finally sinking in.
I'm also going to see about getting my will updated (since 2002!!) to take him off as Power of Attorney. I don't need him to know about any of this, and can name my daughter as having PoA, and will have to think of someone else to be a secondary if she can't.
Our physicals on the 20th......... I'll let the Dr know beforehand about my questions re: dementia. We shall see. I WILL look after myself first, and then him if necessary.

Victoria Harbour, ON

You said you contacted Kneehill housing, for him?
Glad he has agreed he will move..Iíd you provide him with a date??
Glad you are crossing your Tí like this must be a living hell

Greg,Mel and Kyle just left, I climbed into bed, pots/pans can wait til morning, (soaking) something I never do but tonight I decided to, now watch me get up during the night and so them lol

Light rain

Las Vegas, NV(Zone 9a)

I never do that either Betty but some times it just to much to finish the kitchen. I went to get the clothes out of the dryer this morning and i had forgotten to put the clothes in the dryer. So I had to wear a pair of pants that are loose around the waist area and will slip down if I bend over. The pants I purchased at Costco ended up being bell bottoms and my daughter took them back. I order an other pair when I ordered with my Mega Red pills from Costco so I should have an extra pair. I only have 3 pair of pants that fit, the rest are too large.

We had a big wind storm last yesterday and through the night. Blew all my neighbors pine needles, pine seeds and pollen all over my landscape and patio.

I spent about an hour just on the pool and KOI pond. I did look through my fence and his landscape did get some of the debris, so all is not lost. This is a bad time of year for me and those trees but they give me lots of shade in the summer.

Betty, you are getting smarter in your old age. Your friends that want to use a small portion of your land probably do not have the proper tools Betty.

Pat, I didn't watch the games either but my son and his son are so into Gonzaga that i only keep track to support them. Grandson Luke is a highly functioning Autistic child and has a hard time understanding losing. Last game Baylor totally out played them.

Susan, I am sure he will not need a place to live because he will probably live with her. I would tell the counselor that you only want to meet with him to clear the air so you would not be angry for the rest of your life and what you could have learned or said during the meeting. At the end of the meeting, stand up, shake his hand and tell him to have a nice life and it has been fun until recently. Then hold your head high, leave, drive somewhere and buy yourself an ice cream cone, make it a double and enjoy it because that day is the first day of the rest of your life and you can make it whatever you want it to be.


Sharon - he wouldn't live with her - first, it's on the same street, and 2nd, it's a small community of 200 people in our hamlet. He'd Never live it down.
I'm strong enough to live on my own, and he says he is too, but at our age (67 & 71)......... well, I wouldn't be getting a 3rd husband or even a boyfriend. Not on the agenda.
Frankly, I think Bob's realizing that although he could live on his own, he wouldn't want to. I'm hoping the agency gets back to me tomorrow, with the name of a counsellor and that it's not too far into the future. I'm being calm about this.

Found out today that Alberta is going back to Stage One as of Friday noon, and no one can see anyone else indoors..... unless it a retail store. Let's meet at WalMart for dinner, ok? You pick the time & place & I'll be there 🤣

This message was edited Apr 6, 2021 11:32 PM

Victoria Harbour, ON

Morning, promises to be a beautiful day 58F rained till early morning, you can already see buds on the shrubs, especially lilacs and the plans are starting to break ground...makes me smile.

Sharon, pots/pans cleaned and put away..drives me crazy when I donít do them after a meal or leave anything in the will be cursing wearing those loose waist pants, you will be tugging them up all day while you work lol. Donít tell me bell bottoms are coming back?? Did your landscaper come back where he can clean the patio for you??

On the other side of the fence is a metal container storage are he has all his tools so he will be ok getting whatever he wants to make and if he is short Iím sure I will have what he needs.

Susan Iím sure if Bob and this lady have been going on with their antics as they have over past months if not a year neighbours are already gossiping, just the nature of small communities and that hasnít bothered them so living together wouldnít give them a second of concern.

he has the best of both worlds right now, you and her..
I am with Sharonís recommendations, know I wouldnít want to be wondering every time he is on the phone, every time he leaves in the car what he is up to regardless how many promises he now makes, he will zap what sanity you have now and for what?

Will make my coffee and talk a walk around the gardens, see what is saying hello this morning

(Linda Kay) Del Rio, TX(Zone 9a)

Susan, sounds like you have everything planned out. Praying counseling will work, but if it doesn't, stick to your plans.
Betty, glad to hear things are starting to show new growth for you. I love springtime.

Victoria Harbour, ON

Are you off to fabric shop Lindakay
Understand Texas Covid numbers are next to nothing so all restrictions including mask are lifted .wish it were so here..emergency lockdown door my area and Doug Ford says with variants more restrictions to follow what we are doing til end of month..think Friday I will stock up on a few more things..just would like them to close all for a few weeks, what they are doing now certainly is not working. Thousands a day go thru Walmart..

Susan, white zone, is that the lowest or highest Alberta has?


Betty - no idea about white zone. All I know is stages and they say we're back in stage 1 - strictest restrictions

Verona, ON

Sunny afternoon here. It is 63 on the sunny deck but feels like mid 50's everywhere else.

Back from a visit to the vet. I really like this new vet and all of the techs. They had to come and get me to be with Chaos while he had his shots. He wasn't snarling or trying to bit them he just wouldn't sit still. He goes back next week to be sedated and have his nails clipped.

Gave myself lots of time to get to the vet's as the last time I got lost. Of course I was able to get there no problem and was over an hour early.

Both Chaos and Kai are zonked out since we came home. Kai even refused his kibble - I didn't give him his breakfast as he as a tendency to throw up in the Escape.

Betty I would stock up too. I have a look and see what is needed. Probably not much but a journey to Foodland anyway.

Deb how are you doing this week ?

Susan it sounds like you are checking off all of the boxes. Just be safe.

LK I wore 1 of your masks at the vet's and it got a resounding thumbs up.

Stay safe and well.

Victoria Harbour, ON

Dianne, Ford just announced emergency stay at home order, the worse yet

Can only be out if for food, Doctor,,pharmacy and work
Stupid, regardless who is out they can just say they are out for groceries..until this settles I would accept a time/day to shop in order to keep numbers less.

New order starts midnight tonight

Too zonked tonight so will be at foodland at 7:30 am

Glad you all agree that the vet is a good fit.

Susan, not sure what white zone is

Las Vegas, NV(Zone 9a)

Susan, I think you are naive if you think he will not live with her because of gossip. If she agrees, he will move in immediately, Men are fools.

Betty, glad you got your kitchen back in shape. Hope you had a great walk around your garden. I am heading out to fix some irrigation and continue cleaning the debris from my neighbor's pine trees. And, of course weatherman say winds tomorrow. Garden helper showed up last Thursday and started to explain why he was missing in action. I stopped him in mid sentence and told him I didn't want to hear it. When he left he told me he would see me next week and I told him "Whatever". Vern hated it when I said "Whatever", because he knew exactly what I was thinking.

Dianne, so pleased they let you in to help Chaos. Our vets have not stopped individuals from coming into the vet clinic but we have to wait in exam rooms and no more than one person and dogs in receptions area at a time.

Our Covid cases are don. Schools are now totally opened and each hotel is holding their own vaccine clinics for their employees. They have not said so, but I think if an employee refuses the vaccine they will be on a short list for removal. In my family there are battles with who is and who is not getting the vaccine. I got mine and if asked, I tell them all it is their own choice.

I will return later. I will take some photos. My new hill is shaping up.

Maryville, TN(Zone 7a)

Back home. For some reason, I cannot access this site on my laptop. I will have to look further into it and see if I can find the problem. It's not accepting my password which I know is correct.
My daughter is doing very well. I knew she would she is a very tough fighter. Her on Dr. told her that if the radiation gets to be to much she is to tell him so he can schedule a break for her. Her son was there from Denver for a couple weeks and helped her a lot.
We had a great time. Celebrated Easter, Walt's birthday and our anniversary several times with several of the families.
I took a few dresses I had made for Jessica about 30 years ago. The younger girls were loving wearing them. So fun to see them worn again. Amelia and Lorelei wore them for Easter to church. I have to bring the photos to this computer and will them post them.

Maryville, TN(Zone 7a)

Amelia and Lorelei.

Thumbnail by siliolegma Thumbnail by siliolegma
Las Vegas, NV(Zone 9a)

Karen those dresses are absolutely priceless. Girls look so darling. So pleased you had such a great trip. And your daughter doing good is wonderful news.

Had a long day, I will explain tomorrow. All about irrigation and sloppy work by garden helper.

Victoria Harbour, ON

Morning, high of 70 today then a week of rain so if there is anything I want done outside best be today!

Great news Karen about your daughter, having you all there was the best you hated to leave. I thought you would have stayed longer as I ts such a long drive.those dresses are timeless, girls look so pretty in them.

Sharon, can just hear you say ĎwhateverĒ that sums it all

I can see the hotels wanting their staff to have vaccines..Iím thinking all my family will get vaccine, questionable about Kyle but Iím sure as more places demand it he will.

Quiet out there, donít even see a car go by...I will wait to see how I feel later and do the 1/2 mile to foodland for a few things..

Off to back shed to see if the hip waders are there. Shhhh

(Linda Kay) Del Rio, TX(Zone 9a)

Good morning everyone.
Betty, I heard you. Please be careful working outside.
Yesterday and today, I am taking off from the quilt shop. One if the quilters moved away last summer. She moved about 7 hours north, to be closer to family. She is in town for a few days, so some of us are spending time with her, getting together for lunch.

(Linda Kay) Del Rio, TX(Zone 9a)

Dianne, so glad to hear everyone likes your mask. Please let me know if you need new ones.


re: "her" - even people who were saying "poor her, she's so lonely, she should join our groups at coffeetime & Wellness" are now saying that she says one thing, then changes to something else, like her age - She was asked how old she'd be on her birthday, and she said 27 one day & 36 the next. She talks about her "fiance" in Japan, who's married for 13 years, has 2 children, and whose father "loves her and wants his son to marry her". He's apparently waiting for his mother to die (she's the one who arranged the marriage) so he can return to Naomi in Canada. The girl has a seriously delusional world, and I told my friend Pat about the "Japan" story. Pat is beginning to see what I mean.
Bob has definitely started to see this too. Naomi has latched onto Pat & another friend of mine, Catherine, another neighbour, is getting sucked into the Naomi neediness. She's likeable, but eventually people get their eyes opened, like me, and several others. It wasn't just Naomi's dad that was the problem (also being mentally challenged). Now that she's living on her own, her own issues are coming to the forefront. Those that have helped her before because she's sweet, and they were being good Christians, are finding out that her neediness was draining them. It's not for me OR Bob to fix her problems.

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