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Signs of the Times

Mount Prospect, IL(Zone 5a)

Gynecologists Office: Dr. Jones, At your cervix.

At a Military hospital-door to Endoscopy: To expidite your visit, please back in.

Plumbers truck: We repair what your husband fixed.

On the trucks of a local plumbers truck: Don't sleep with a drip! Call your plumber.

Pizza shop slogan: 7 days without pizza, makes one weak.

At a tire shop window: Invite us to your next blowout!

Door of plastic surgeons office, Hello, Can we pick your nose?

At a laundry shop: How about we refund your money?
Send you a new one at no charge?
Close the store?
Or have the manager shot?

At a tow company: We don't charge an arm and a leg, we just want your tows.

On an electric truck: Let us remove your shorts.

In a non smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action!

Maternity room door: Push, push, push.

At an Optomitrists office: If you don't see what you want, you are in the right place!

On a taxidermist window: We know our stuff.

In a podiatrist office: Time wounds all heels.

On a homeowners fence: Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.

At a car dealer: the best way to get on your feet is to miss a car payment.

Outside a muffler shop: No appointment needed. We can hear you coming!

On a veterinarians door: Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the electric company: We would be delighted if you would send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.

Sign in a restaurant: Don't stand at the window looking in. Come in and get fed up with us.

Funeral home: Drive carefully, We can wait.

At a propane supply station: Tank heaven for little grills.

At a Chicago radiator shop: Best place to take a leak!

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