I WILL Thump You on Your Head

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

Its like they are comletely another human being all in themselves.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

Well, let us hope they are! Otherwise, they would be boring to live with!

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

I haven't picked up that anyone posting in this thread has felt boredom with respect to their spouse.

Ennis, MT(Zone 4a)

Boredom? Not hardly! We both have the capacity to surprise each other.

One thing we both enjoy is exactly what you pointed out, Dparsons & Paj, shared projects and individual time apart for other things. As my DH and I both live and work together, being able to have some time alone is particularly important to maintain balance.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

No! Life with DH is never boring! But I have my garden and he has his work and his rehearsals.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

Living intimately with someone is an art. You need white space and color. Every couple paints a different picture.

Ennis, MT(Zone 4a)

And I could not possibly live in many of the other pictures I see, and I am pretty sure mine would drive many people crazy!

Kalispell, MT(Zone 4b)

I don't call it boring but my DW is much more sedentery and I more kenitic. This balance is good but it requires me to take off and travel and adventure and for her to sit and watch TV. I have no problem with that because when we communicate or exist together it is very warm and loving. We both give each other that place we need. I think "boring" is an attitude. Different than me is open and accepting. We all need our lives and if the other is open to that it is good.

Thumbnail by Soferdig

awww, you both look so happy! Nice to see!

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

Nice picture Sofer. I like your statement on boring, and it is a mindset/attitude. My teenage daughter has been going through that phase when things are boring unless they is at a high level of emotional excitement. I've been sharing some of my experience and perspective and she seems to have absorbed some of it. That and she has graduated high school and started college, so her life is not in intimated contact with her girlfriends all day every day. She is learing and growing.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

Yes, Sof, you and your DW look like a happy pair. You are lucky to have a wife who doesn't object to your working out of town for weeks at a time. Many wood.
Congratulations dparsons on your daughter's growing maturity. When they are teenagers sometimes it seems like they will never get any sense! But most do.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

Thank you. Its good to see.

Kalispell, MT(Zone 4b)

Your daughter will follow your leanings dparsons and she will look back at you experience for something to follow. My daughter did.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

I hope so - at least for the good parts. She has had a few destabilizing issues in her life. Its led her to seek things of substance and she seems to be finding some. I think when she decides she doesn't want intense Purple hair any more, it will correspond to a more secure state for her.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

Perhaps, but I have a friend who is a highly paid and prized computer engineer at LANL who has purple and green hair. If you are good, it doesn't matter to them and she is very talented and hard working. The world is more accepting of many things than it used to be. Maybe in a few years we will all be sporting purple and/or green hair. Your daughter can grow up without sharing the wild hair color.

Kalispell, MT(Zone 4b)

The hair is only a soul seeking identity with the ones around who have no way to understand. It has to be frustrating dealing with peers who are only teens. Even if you are a teen. She will break away from the sources of imput to search for the real rewards in society. Then she has become a person who has value both to her and to those around.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

Yes, she can and she might. It isn't something I have any issues with. I'm just guessing based on how I've known her to be for 17.5 years. She has never been a "center of attention" type person. Styles do change though. Look at Louis the XIV and the norm at that time.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

Absolutely right Sofer. That is my take on it too. She is trying things to figure out who she is.

It surprised me how definite the personalities of my 2 children were from an early age. I've mostly tried to guide them based on their own way of being.

Kalispell, MT(Zone 4b)

My daughter enjoyed guidance until about 15 and then she went off on a tangent and I was quite worried. But she remained in my life and now at 30 she is sound and doing very well with her life her husband and her family. I am so proud and would choose her for a friend.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

I keep reflecting how other societies gave young people a "rites of passage" into adulthood around the age of 13. They basicaly said "You are now and adult and are responsible for your own actions and accoutable to the society." I've wondered what difference that would make in today's teens attitudes and actions.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

It couldn't hurt and it might help. Our customs for teenagers are very confusing -- partly because it takes so long to learn how to be an adult in our society -- so much education, social and academic, and survival stuff like how to eat for health, how to drive a car, how to decide who to vote for.
It was so much easier when the teenager only had to learn to hunt or farm and prepare food. In those days a person could be an adult by age 13. The complexity of our society makes it difficult. Think how much energy is spent just on learning how to deal with automobiles, alcohol and sex in this society. Thirteen year olds didn't have to know all that back in tribal society.

Calgary, AB(Zone 3a)

After the recent posts on this thread, I asked my DH if I was getting boring. He laughed so hard he started gasping. When I asked if he wanted to join me in the dances for the wakening of the dahlias so we could bond, the gasping turned to wheezing. hmpf perhaps I'm BORED. Did he think about THAT?

Kalispell, MT(Zone 4b)

Dahlia if he had even thought about that (the interests of you) he would be blogging on a site of interest for him or better yet here on DG to see what is your interests. I have wondered if my DW has ever read a sentence that I have posted here. (Though I discuss many of them to her) Many of our spouses find that the couch is a secure and warm place full of entertainment to fill their lives. We on the other hand are looking for enrichment in life in our gardens and with the minds of others. Hence DG. We all are built different and we are responsible for our own enrichment.
Some people can just drive through Glacier Park. I need to see where each river begins it's course and to experience its richness of flower and fauna.

Thumbnail by Soferdig
Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

That is part of it too. (response to pajarito)

Nice picture Soferdig.

This message was edited Mar 9, 2009 10:10 AM

Reno, NV

" Women, for obvious reasons, often take a dim view of guns". I'm afraid I have to object to that one. I love to shoot, own several firearms, and honestly belive that guns are tools, no less, no more. I do not belive that resricting firearms will change crime or domestic violence. Just look at Australia if you want confirmation of that. Guns are completly illegle there and women are still being murdered and abused. Now you can't carry knifes over a certain length unless they're part of your job. You can't carry a cricket bat unless your going to or from a game. And still their murder rate is high, still women are most likely to be killed by a member of their family.
When Texas went from a may issue, to a shall issue state (meaning that they must issue a carry conceled permit unless there is some outstanding reason not to) the rate of violent muggings went down. When research was done on this many criminals admitted that the thought of any of their victims being armed put them off.
I think that violence, particularly against women/family has a lot more to do with social structures than the availability of weapons.

Kalispell, MT(Zone 4b)

Yes I too wanted to comment on PJ's thoughts. In the mens group I went to we discussed the idea of men and women going through an initiation into adulthood at 12 or 13 (puberty). This though was with the society mentoring these children daily with the focus on communial values and group survival. That no longer exists but in gangs of cities with the mentoring being done by socially dammaged leaders. Today's mentoring is almost non-existant for most young adults. The lack of agreed direction from the elders leads to everyone pursuing their own wants and desires rather that the wisdom of the ones already ending the limits of their lives. Technology today separates these young ones from the mentors of the past.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

The mentoring job has been delegated to schools and parents. It is no longer a communal effort. It is also difficult to find a focused community in a city of over half a million people.

Different people take different views on guns. Lots of different opinions. My read on the constitutional right is that it was written by people who defended themselves from an overbearing government that represented the wealthy. It was written to guarantee that people could continue to defend themselves in the future. I'm sure this was also for protection from the smaller criminals and not just the large, institutional ones.



Santa Fe, NM

Quite a discussion here! I'm trying to catch up. I have been in a small car and a small tent with D.H. for several days...but out in a very big, interesting world! And it was a world where he did all the cooking and dishes in camp. WooHoo! This is not to say that everything went smoothly at all times. My full moon on the dunes photo shoot got totally screwed up due to miscommunication. Which made me very unhappy at the time. But on another day, we did tour a very interesting opera house complete with ghosts in Death Valley Junction, which I'll show pics of later. And we had giant date shakes at the China Ranch Date Farm. Both experiences I probably wouldn't have had on my own. It evens out. As for guns, about 2 years ago I visited a firing range a few times and took some lessons in gun safety and how to shoot a couple of different kinds of guns. It was completely out of character for me, which was one reason why I did it. I enjoyed it but have found plenty of other things to spend time and money on that I like better. D.H. and his father enjoyed some sort of marksman target shooting in their younger days and are both the most peaceful of men; unless you count the knife fighting. l.o.l.

Gastonia, NC(Zone 7b)

LOL!

truly, that was exactly the perspective needed here. especially the knife fighting part.

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

Glad you're back roybird. Sounds like you had quite an adventure.

Ennis, MT(Zone 4a)

Good to have you back, Roybird. Sounds like you had some adventures...

Kalispell, MT(Zone 4b)

Welcome back from where no Junipers live. I too related to the knife fighting. LOL

Calgary, AB(Zone 3a)

Welcome home roybird!

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

I, too, learned to shoot as a child. We did plenty of target shooting which was fine. Then we went dove hunting. First of all, I was terrible at it and second of all, I found it discouraging when we had 2 serious hunting accidents in my family. I just don't want guns around after those situations.

Santa Fe, NM

I don't blame you on that, Paja! Thanks for the nice welcome home! I am feeling much better today; having trouble adjusting to a new prescription medication. I'll let you imagine what kind! I don't see why "they" can't make medicine Fun. You'd think somebody would be interested in that, considering all the advertisements. Oh, well. I had lots of adventures and I'm still sorting out pictures. Maybe I should start a new thread for them.

Gastonia, NC(Zone 7b)

Fun medicines, I think, is one of the "problems" out t here, as it is the "fun" ones people seem to get habituated to.

but I do know what you mean.

Do start a thread for your pictures! that would be super.

Reno, NV

Welcome back Roybird:)

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

Yes, roybird, I hope you will find the junipers have used up most of their pollen by now. Allergy pills make me dopey and I am dopey enough already. But hopefully yours won't do that to you. Hopefully the pinon pollen got washed out of the air in your absence.

Helena, MT(Zone 4b)

"Fun" medicines would be the antithesis of Big Pharma's approach, where vast fortunes are made by preying on people's fear and despair. They also like to experiment on us without our informed consent, which makes them fascist.

Therefore let us continue making our own medicines of laughter and great silliness.

Reno, NV

"Therefore let us continue making our own medicines of laughter and great silliness". Awesome picante, just awesome:)

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