Solution to Spawn of Satan

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

This is for dahlianut and all those who have been tortured by the Spawn of Satan in your lives. Unfortunately I don't think it would work on gophers, but might be worth a try:

http://community.nascar.com/members/tallsbrat/videos/339

Copied this from the Iris forum.

Gastonia, NC(Zone 7b)

OMG!!!!!! No, you'd have to catch them first, LOL!

I think I have moles!!!!! Don't moles make bigger mounds than gophers do?

Anyway, somebody is doing pretty big mounds but so far fortunately they are only coming up under the gravel by the building and have not found any garden area. Still.....................

When I had squirrel probs back in NC, o lordie me. One would sit on the deck rail and then launch itself at my blooming Glads across the deck, thinking the flowers would be good to eat but of course they never were. The gorgeous dianthus got utterly deflowered by squirrels who would not learn that flower buds were not tasty, the little buggers kept trying.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

Hard to imagine what could be pushing up the soil under your gravel! Mine avoid gravel. I am not sure what makes bigger holes -- moles or gophers, but I would think gophers. I think they are a little larger than moles. I leafned that gophers tend to make oval mounds with their hole at one end, but plugged up so it appears they aren't there.
But so far I have only caught gophers -- no moles. I also have chipmonks. I don't know what their holes look like. I haven't caught any in recent years, but I think I might like one of those scarecrows.

Littleton, CO(Zone 5a)

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! This really is a dangerous group.

Centennial, CO(Zone 5a)

It looks like there's somebody inside launching that thing by hand though - we need to figure out how to make it automatic!

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

I agree lisabees. There's the Rocky Mountain Forum Nobel Prize Project!

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

LoL. I can hardly type. Here's hoping the ASPCA doesn't figure out who these people are.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

Yep, they would be in trouble for sure!

Gastonia, NC(Zone 7b)

Oh, I don't know, it looks to me like the squirrel is learning to enjoy it. I mean, see how he comes back again and again?

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

Yeah, you may be right Kyla.

Santa Fe, NM

Good video! A Nobel prize? Perhaps.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

If we can invent a reliable way to rid a garden of squirrels, we would get the Nobel prize, I guarantee it!

Albuquerque, NM(Zone 7b)

I think a first on "America's Funniest Home Videos" is more likely.

Calgary, AB(Zone 3a)

I have the necessary equipment; big colander and bungee cords. Now I just have to decide where to splat Damien. I AM ALL OVER THIS. Thanks Paj!!!

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

I knew this was right up your alley, dahlia. Is their anyone in your neighborhood you don't like? Send Damien there!

Gastonia, NC(Zone 7b)

Well, we best be quiet about our plans, I think there is some resistance forming. Too bad the picture has all those words pasted on it, the bazooka does not show up very well. ;-)



This message was edited Apr 7, 2009 10:27 AM

Thumbnail by Kylaluaz
Ennis, MT(Zone 4a)

Seems more like we better speed up our plans!

Maybe we could send some of these treerats to ride in the next North Korean rocket...

Santa Fe, NM

Or just to live in North Korea. That'd teach 'em. They probably have gophers there already, come to think of it. Which may have been the Most Big Secret about the rocket!

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

The North Koreans were trying to bomb us with gophers! I knew the were up to no good! We will have to retaliate by sending them our squirrels! Will need a stong bunge cord for that!

Ennis, MT(Zone 4a)

More than one bungie cord. The world should be grateful the Rocky Mountain Gardening forum is so aware and resourceful!

If we get enough bungie cords, after we send the gophers we could put all the bungies on an emu and send it over too.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

But why would we want to get rid of our grasshopper eating emus? -- our trusty steads? The gophers can go, however.

Ennis, MT(Zone 4a)

We are dealing with the irrational, so why should we be rational?

Denver, CO(Zone 5b)

We should send the Spawn of Satan to Norway. I think they would fit right in, if they were the flying type anyways. These guys are crazy. Looks like fun though! http://boingboing.net/2009/01/14/wingsuit-base-jumper.html

Ennis, MT(Zone 4a)

Oh my. I want to do that. I sure do not have the body for it, but I want to do that. My ankles and feet would be offended at the landing, if I had not already broken everything else by then. But I would love to do that...

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

That looks like great fun. I have watched flying squirrels -- they are cool. The reason you never see them, I learned is that they are nocturnal. Most of us don't go looking for squirrels at night.

St. Louis County, MO(Zone 5a)

Hi there, I stumbled on this thread, enticed by the title, and have laughed until I cried. Does anyone know what the trigger is? like a mousetrap perhaps? I don't want to send the little suckers to anyone, just maybe to outer space?

Santa Fe, NM

Martian gophers! Glad you dropped in, Cathy4. We can always use more inspiration.

Ennis, MT(Zone 4a)

Cathy4, glad you are enjoying this but I will take a dim view of it if you start cluttering up our asteroids with gophers. We have been trying to figure out how to garden on them and gophers will not help that one bit. Or squirrels.

St. Louis County, MO(Zone 5a)

Okee dokee, North Korea it is then.

Santa Fe, NM

Or Walmart.

Centennial, CO(Zone 5a)

The trigger is a sharp-eyed person with a pair of scissors.

Gastonia, NC(Zone 7b)

I definitely vote for Walmart.

Hiya, Cathy4.

Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

Yeah! Let them burrow into those miles of asphalt! That will show them -- and Walmart, too!

Gastonia, NC(Zone 7b)

Oh, I was thinking we might refine our aim enough to deliver them INSIDE the store. Through those big open glass doors in front? hahahahaha ooooo that would be too funny, pelting the shopping with squirrels, or gophers, whichever we happen to have handy.

St. Louis County, MO(Zone 5a)

Since you all seem to be okay with flinging rodents, I'd like to tell you a story. Don't tell the squirrel lovers. My SIL is a lineman for the phone company. When they are up on a pole, they can tell when a squirrel is coming because the lines start to bounce. The squirrels get mighty aggressive when a lineman is in the way, even more so in the spring when the babies are around. They have been known to bite.

So when the squirrel gets on the line near them, they first bang on it real hard to try to get the squirrel to turn back. If it doesn't, they start spinning the line like a jump rope, until the squirrels gets flung off. Such a terrible shame that most of the time they fall like a cat and get up and run off. It is one of the first things they teach a new lineman.

I sure like all of you, pelting Walmart, woo hoo! The Midwest group is so mannerly I read them when I need to sleep, heehee.


Los Alamos, NM(Zone 5a)

When we get bored -- with lack of gardening issues -- we get rowdy. Always happy to have like minded souls join in the fun. Anyone who can laugh at hurling gophers and squirrels at Walmart is a friend of ours.

St. Louis County, MO(Zone 5a)

Lisabees, I had a picnic in your town a few years ago when we were traveling, nice place. My son lives near Estes Park, so I want to live out your way, too. Thanks for the welcome, I'm happy to be here.

Calgary, AB(Zone 3a)

Welcome cathy4 ^_^ I'm having a little technical difficulty with the Damien Launcher. 1) I need to work more on anchoring it cuz I keep launching the whole thing, bungies, colander and all. 2) The new puppy next door gets very noisy when the whole thing goes flying through the air. I'm thinking this is a good sign that he might grow up to be a Damien hunter. 3) The crazy old cat keeps getting in the colander and insisting that he be 'launched' which is not good as he is old and will break. 4) I have decided to splat Damien in the police station parking lot (if I can launch that far). That way if he survives they will arrest him for making a mess in their parking lot. (This is my most brilliant idea so far I think).

Ennis, MT(Zone 4a)

I am awed by your enterprise and brilliance, Dahlia.

Santa Fe, NM

All that And in a fugue state, perhaps!

Post a Reply to this Thread

You must log in and subscribe to Dave's Garden to post in this thread.
BACK TO TOP