Hi Lizzie,

I miss you so much. You are in New York, living the "fast life" and all grown up and a married lady now. I think about you all day long sometimes. I wonder if you would appreciate the flowers here on the farm and pretend you are walking with me. As we pass by the raised beds of perennials, I show you how I am growing Celosia flowers that have huge fuzzy red blooms to weave into my garlic braids to sell at the farmer's market. I love showing you the meandering beds of roses. I can't get down to smell them so you will have to. We walk through my allee of fruit trees and I explain how to open the centers for more fruits to grow. Maybe next year we might get one peach. I have plans for making strolling paths, and I ask you in my mind where would you like to walk, knowing you have such a creative mind.

I value your ideas and creativity so much. For your wedding, you designed a dress and had me sew it. It was the perfect color of one of my roses, a soft and creamy peach. I chose a fabric of the lightest silk and it reminded me of the sun coming through the petals of a rose. Pure rose beauty of petals and glints of dew was interpreted by me as drapes on the back of your gown with glistening crystals on the buttons. Bringing one of your most important designs to life was a thrill.

peach wedding gown, bustled back lots of buttons

You came here once for Thanksgiving, and I treasure the time we had together every day. I remember how funny you were and how crazy you dressed to go out and help me with some of the farm chores. You are so trendsetting that, you took my muck boots and made them into a fashion nightmare statement. Boy, did we laugh. I loved cooking, cleaning and making sure everyone was warm ,well fed and relaxed. I loved that you brought out friends and we all just had the most happy time. Your friends had never been on a farm before, and our simple way of life, coupled with a woodstove for heating and making everything from scratch was amazing for them. We ate local farm-fresh turkey and used our homegrown vegetables and spices to cook with. My pumpkin chiffon pie was a hit and I think the Baba au Rhum was the best I've ever made. I hope you inherited some of the farm ways and will continue to incorporate them in your life. There is nothing so nice as a home raised meal being shared with your family.

liz dressed in down coat sweatshirt and striped muck boots

I want you to be a good human, Liz. That's all I ever wanted for any of my children. I want you to enjoy the small pleasures of life and be able to grab opportunities and become empowered with knowledge. You are smart and lucky; some children don't have the chances in life that you were given — a healthy mind and body. Be generous, be a volunteer and give to the community. The more you give, the more you get back in life's energy. I need you to think about these things, but since I am not with you, I imagine telling you them over and over as we take walks through my garden. I dream about pinning a muslin to the dress form with you helping, and with your sense of humor making me fall over hysterically laughing. I wonder if all parents dream dreams like this, on one hand being happy that their children are out on their own, but still missing them terribly. Some families see their children all the time. I am a little jealous of families that grow up next door to each other, buying houses and building homes within walking distances. Coming over for a cup of coffee or babysitting or just popping by. I would love to have you come help me plant some trees; I know you would enjoy them years from now when they are all grown up. I can hear you saying that you planted these very trees with your mom years and years ago.

The years are just flying by at this time, and I am in my twilight now. I wish I had more time, all the time in the world, to continue on with my life and dreams but we are only alloted just so much. I want to kneel in the dirt with you and show you what good soil is, what a good strong root system is and how to mulch to save water and keep weeds down. I would like one more day on the beach with you. I remember how you drank your bottle and wore your little "Supergirl" bathing suit; we sat in the water at Wellfleet and listened to the gulls. I guess I will take that picture with me to heaven, it,s the one I love so much, and you are loved so much by me. Please keep well, my beautiful daughter, keep the energy of the Earth vibrant and strong. I know you can do it because you are my daughter.

mom and daughter sharing a smiling moment